Ian

Watching Axel comforting Dante is not something I could ever have imagined. He's the strongest man I've ever known. Axel not breaking down and crying is also something I would not have expected. The man who cried at Barbie.

I needed to drive or I would have sat there thinking too much.

The drive takes about half an hour. The roads are mostly empty and I may have gone a little over the speed limit. The laws will bow to me when it comes to Lexi.

Outside of the hospital, Axel keeps an arm around Dante as we make our way inside. A receptionist at the front desk nods politely at us as we enter, while on the phone and writing down something. As we approach, her eyes light in recognition and hands us a paper. 'Last room on the right. She just finished an operation.' I nod my head in gratitude and begin the dreadful walk.

It's eerily quiet, as if everyone knows of the tragedy, as if the world itself has stopped for our princess. Every door that we pass, my heart seems to quicken and squeeze. She should be sleeping anyway. So why am I so nervous? Because I fear her condition is worse than we can handle. None of us can stand to lose her, she was the best thing that ever happened to us.

Outside of the final door to the right, a doctor walks out of the room, nodding his head at us before walking away. I slowly reach for the handle, flinching at the coldness of the metal. This is it.

I softly turn the handle and gently push open the door. Frozen from the sight in front of me, I turn around to walk out, but Axel glares at me, unhappy with my decision. Turning back around, I slowly inch forward, swallowing back a sob begging to be released.

Lexi lays on the hospital bed in a white hospital gown, tubes attached to her right hand and inner elbow, with an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. Through one tube, red liquid flows and the other is some clear liquid. Her left hand is heavily bandaged and bloodied. Her visible skin is covered in bruises and bite marks. Her face is a ghostly pale white, as if all her blood has left her body. A blanket covers up to her waist and her hair is spread out behind her. Some sort of plug or clip is attached to her finger. If it weren't for the rhythmic beeping of the machine, I would have thought she was dead.

I can't look at her. I can't stand here and see what I let happen to her by letting her go. I don't want to be here. I need to work. I need to do something that takes my mind away from the sight before me.

Axel and Dante step past me and fill two of the three chairs next to the bed, next to Lexi. Am I too much of a coward to be next to her? Yes. Yes I am. How could I face her when she's in this state, because of me?

I catch a slight movement in the left corner of the room. Sitting in a chair is a blonde boy, looking worn down and broken. He must be the guy that saved her. I walk over to him. He stands up, offering me his chair. Instead, I capture him in a hug.

"Thank you so much," I say quietly, "we owe you so much. Thank you for saving her."

He softly pats my back. "I promise you that had I known they would mistreat her, I would have left with her sooner. It was never the plan to harm her. Only to make her fall for Boss, I mean Silas. He's currently in Australia. He should be back by the end of the week," he informs me. "I'm Finn."

I step back, observing Lexi. She seems to be stable, for now. I hope. "Thank you Finn. I will have Silas taken care of. I'm Ian and that's Dante and Axel. What did the doctors say?" I take the empty chair from next to Axel and place it next to Finn's chair. We sit down as he explains.

"They said to keep an eye on her in case of any change in her heart tempo. They managed to remove the blade and stitch her up. They said it was good the blade was still in there to stop some of the blood flow. Her body needs a few days to regenerate from blood loss and mental trauma. We have to call the doctor once any of the bags reach a quarter full. If she wakes up we can't go near her. The doctors have to run some tests on her. Also, they warned me that if she doesn't wake up this week-" His voice begins to shake as a few tears fall.

"What will happen? Will she die?" I whisper urgently.

"She'll most likely be too weak to continue. She'll be declared brain dead. Her body may not have been able to deal with all the physical and mental trauma as well as her attempt. I've never seen someone as strong as her. I left her alone after I told her I would help her. I left her with Eddie. I think he assaulted her again. I shouldn't have left her. I'm so sorry."

He was trying to help her, I can't blame him for what happened. I just can't.

We sit in silence, watching Lexi. Out of everyone in the world, Lexi was the person that least deserved this. She worked too hard to heal other people and no one did the same for her in return. She could only help herself to a certain extent. She needed other people but didn't want to ask for help. The helper needed saving and we couldn't help.

I quickly contact Luke to let him know about Silas. I cannot wait to torture them, give them a taste of their own medicine. I don't think I will be staying here tonight. Torturing sounds like a good way to let off steam and distract me from Lexi.

If I stay here, I won't be able to stop thinking about all the negative possibilities of what could happen to my love. It will eat me alive. And some dark twisted part of me wants to destroy everything and everyone that ever caused her harm. Burn them to the depths of hell.

"There's also, uh, something else the doctor said," Finn hesitantly says, unable to look me in the eyes.

"What is it?"

He lowers his voice so no one except me could hear. "They had to stitch her insides. Thankfully it shouldn't affect her long term, but they've run some tests to make sure no pregnancy was there and they'll test again in a few weeks. We can't tell her anything just yet. Her body is too weak to handle anymore shock. It will probably be too early to tell anyway, but just in case. Basic protocol they said."

The fact that it's only a short term injury provides me with a sense of relief. However, the greater fact that she will forever be traumatised by some bastard if - when - she survives is daunting. When she first came to London, she spoke about the agony the child would go through after finding out how they were conceived.

Lexi is just like that, always thinking about the welfare of people in advance. She has the biggest heart yet she gets punished the most. She cares for the people who can't act for themselves. She hates the fact that women are vulnerable, that many children have to suffer from their carers or parents. She hates that many people dislike certain races. Even though she can hold so much hate for people, it's justified. Even though she gets impulses to kill people, it's for a reason. But she understands people the way that she was never understood.

"I'm going to torture some people. Who wants to join me?" I ask quietly. When no one answers, Finn slightly raises his hand. I nod and we both get up to leave. I move towards Lexi and place a very gentle kiss on her forehead. "Please wake up, my love. I can't live without you."

I hand the keys to Axel, in case he needs it, and follow Finn out of the hospital. He unlocks his car and hops into the driver seat. I only point out the directions he needs to take. The familiar building of our headquarters comes into view. Scanning my card through the entrance, everyone turns to look at me, surprised I'm here. I ignore them all and make my way to our personal elevator. I hold the door for Finn, then press B4.

We descend four levels before the doors open. Every step I take closer to the room at the end, the anger inside me increases. I slam open the door, causing all eyes to turn my way. I smell the fear and blood and torture already from these men. Good. They should be fucking terrified of me.

"Finn? You fucking coward! You turned us in because we beat up a stupid bitch?! If you wanted to fuck her too we would have let you. You know, she had some good pussy. Best I've ever had. Even better watching her in pain," one of the guys tied up says. Twenty men are chained to the ceiling, their feet barely touching the floor and completely naked. That guy is definitely the leader.

Before I can react, Luke is in front of him, holding a knife to his throat. "Disrespect my sister again and I'll show you pain," he threatens, then slices along his neck as a warning. He lets out a high pitched scream and tries to turn away to no avail. Bitch.

"I fucking turned you in, Cain, because you broke the rules. You raped her. You tortured her. That's what we were supposed to stand against. She tried to kill herself. I don't stand alongside you anymore. I don't associate with any of you," Finn retorts, anger in his voice. Cain. The one that started it all.

"Well you didn't have anyone that suffered. You don't know what it's like. That bitch got everything she deserved. She was so tight. That pussy was gold. Her boyfriends clearly couldn't loosen her up. Did you like that movie I sent you Ian? Did Axel and Dante enjoy it?" This time I snatch the knife out of Luke's hand and stab him with full force in his shoulder.

"Don't talk about her that way. She's the most perfect person you'll ever come across, unless you get on her bad side. You're on her bad side. Now, Cain, choose a number from 1-10," I say sweetly, sarcasm dripping from my words.

"Fuck you. Move the knife," he spits.

"If you insist." I rip out the knife and implant it in his other shoulder. He writhes in pain and agony. "Now pick a number."

"You motherfucker! Nine. I pick nine." Little does he know the meaning of these numbers. He couldn't have chosen better.

"You heard him Luke. Nine. Or should I say, the Cat," I smirk. One of the most brutal, agonoising whips we have. Nine tips of the whip embedded with small metal hooked blades.

"NO! I choose 1! I changed my mind!" Cain yells, eyes widening in fear at the weapon of choice.

"Too late. After I'm done with you, you're going to endure whatever each and every one of my men will do to you, like a good boy. Oh, and every time you close your eyes for a second too long, we'll be rougher and harsher with you. It's actually quite funny when Dante says what goes around comes around. It's like I've heard those exact words before," I muse, feigning innocence. Not so funny having your words thrown back at you, is it Cain?

Luke returns with a Cat o' nine tails. Perfect. Without warning, I swing the whip forward, aiming for his dick that he seems unable to keep in his pants. The same one used to rape my beautiful girl.

"FUCK YOU! Boss will find out about this- AAAHHHHH!" I bring down the whip over and over again, circling him to hit every piece of flesh. Blood drenches his body, forming a growing puddle on the floor.

I continuing pouring every bit of rage into my whips. Once I'm satisfied, I leave him hanging on whether I'm going to continue or not. Well, and literally hanging. He'll suck it up like a man.

"You guys can do whatever you want. I think my rage had subdued a little bit. This is Finn. He saved our princess. Let him join you guys and have some fun." I leave the room, frustrated and angry with myself.

No matter how much I hurt them, it doesn't take back what happened to Lexi. I could never face Lexi again knowing that I let her go. I let her go and look how it ended up. If I were her, I wouldn't want to be near me at all.

I should have looked out for the signs that she didn't want to go. I'm usually so good at reading through people, but I got too caught up with Lexi. She made me feel so loved and worthy of everyone. When she said she wanted to go, I didn't want to hold her against her will. I thought she was happy enough to cope. I was too blinded by her love to see the sacrifices she made to keep us happy and make us finally feel normal. She didn't make us feel like criminals or different because we were rich.

I misjudged who her happiness was for. It was for us. To see us happy. She never cared for herself as much as she did for us. I guess we really stuffed up when we let her go.

I should probably walk back to the hospital. Or I could sleep here tonight. Dante, Axel and I's office has an attached bathroom with some spare clothes. I suppose I could sleep on the couch. It's better than having to face the others and Lexi.

I don't deserve her. She doesn't deserve someone who can't even face the consequences of their mistakes. She would feel a bit better when she wakes up seeing one less person who drove her to kill herself.

Why does it hurt so much? I've killed lots of people and never have I felt so weighed down and guilty than when Lexi tried to kill herself. Is this what she felt like? Did she feel her world crumbling and numb, nothing to look forward to, feeling like everything is my fault and nothing will get better? Maybe there is only one way out. Lexi knew it all along yet she still tried to keep us happy.

I feel so fucking done with everything. Knowing what happened to Lexi is worse than the four weeks of not seeing her at all. Maybe some things are better left hidden.

Please wake up Lexi.

______________________________________

Hey guys,

I hope they avenge Lexi but also I'm enjoying the tragedy too much I want to kill everyone off for the sake of having a sad story.

Someone talk me out of it please

Until next time...