Munachi Odumba

"From the top, one two three... One two three.. Jerk your shoulders!" Senior Ebuka yelled and I was brought back to Earth from my reverie land of rest.

He was among those 'in-charge'... And since we had a student body planned event tomorrow he was being a little bit over the top...

"No! Nonso jerk your shoulders! Upwards! Guy what the fuck?!" He yelled again.

Nonso groaned at him and collapsed on the floor, his legs spread on the floor as he fanned his face with his army style bandana.

"What are you doing?! Get up! Now!? We have no time! Tomorrow is knocking on the door and we can't keep our guest waiting! " Senior Ebuka yelled..

Arthur sighed heavily besides me.

"Guy calm down abeg. How tomorrow go dey knock for door(How would tomorrow knock on a door?)" I giggled.

He sounded frustrated.

"Arthur... You know waitin I mean na(You know what I meant.)" Senior Ebuka's shoulder hunched down as he sat on a seat.

Kenelum walked past him.

"Nana. It's our turn... Stand. " He touched my upper leg and I looked up at him.

"Arthur free(leave) me na... I'm tired. " I groaned...

I was sticking with my plan.... I wasn't former Numb anymore.

I was going to be extroverted and speak more than I listened.

But why did it feel fake this time?

Why did I feel like I was just... putting on a heavy mask.

Arthur sighed, "Babe abeg stand... I'll carry you oh. " I playfully eyed him and hissed at him.

“As If!"

Numb could never do this. Create a drama in public, almost everyone was watching. Senior Ebuka kept staring at me but it didn't matter because  I'm not Numb anymore!

I'm Munachi!

He bent low and wrapped his hand under my thighs before proceeding to raise me up.

I didn't feel like screaming... But I would've if I had the energy to.. Instead I stayed limp as he carried me over to the North side of the auditorium.

He was definitely fond of this bridal style.

"Kill us oh!... Be killing us with couple goals... " A junior girl laughed as we.. Well, he walked past her.

"Arthur you know if I had your time eh.. I wouldn't had let you humiliate me like this, I would've slapped you eh and beat you like ma-"

"-Girl! Shut up! Since three days ago you've been acting like Silvana... Talkative! I don't know why it's now.. After years of knowing her you're picking up this trait from her." Arthur looked down at me.... With a glare.

I nodded.

"I'm a changed lady. "

" How about you change this lady... Change this changed you.. Back to the unchanged you, the real you. " He whispered and dropped me.

"This is the real me. " I narrowed my eyes at him, he rolled his eyes.

"No.. This is the real you.. You want to become. I don't know what happened to you three days ago that suddenly made you so loud and uncontrolled... But I don't like it, you're not making a stand, you're not proving anything.. You're just being un you... You're not the Munachi I fell in love with." We were pretty much alone in this wing of the auditorium but his voice was still low.

"I'm tired, Arthur... I'm tired. " I muttered.

"Of what? The excessive training?... Ebuka's obnoxious voice?... Denying your true self? What exactly?"

"... I'm tired of... Being known as... A girl who can't stand up for her self.. A girl who... Chooses to shut up for peace to reign-"

"-There's nothing wrong with that Nana.... If I had to choose.. I'll choose the quiet peaceful girl I met three years ago dancing to a speaker than the loud blabber mouth Munachi standing here right now. "

"You'll choose a depressed me? You'll choose a sad me? Over the happy me.. Do you want me to be forever sad Arthur Dike? " He groaned and walked towards the only speaker near us then pressed a button.

I didn't know the name of this song.. But it was slow and the instrumental was calm and soothing.

We had a special part to play tomorrow.. That's why we were practicing separately from the rest.

We weren't the only ones... Kenelum and a girl in SS3 had something special to do tomorrow.... That's why we had to wait for them to be done with their rehearsal while practicing a few steps before we came here.

"Nachi... I'll never want you to be sad... Just the same way I'll never want you to be fake... Just be true to yourself... Find and be the real you. " Arthur took my palm placed his left hand on my back.

"The true me.. Had never been quiet... Right from primary school, I liked attention... I liked people knowing me and fearing me.. I liked being loud to be noticed."

"I'm no shrink.. But maybe, you just wanted to be noticed because you felt you weren't getting enough attention... Attention from home. " I shook my head and interrupted him.

"No.. Daddy loved me.. Daddy loves me.. Daddy gave me everything.. I didn't need attention, I've been an extrovert from birth.. " His deep sigh against my head brought an undesirable heat down my face.

When did he even walk up to me to the point he was this close now?

"Did you feel like Mummy loved you... Did she give you that motherly love and attention or she made you feel unworthy? " I blinked at him... And a huge invincible load rested on my chest.

My mask fell.

I looked down and moved away from him.

I stretched out my right hand and then my left hand, my right hand moved upwards and I stretched my body upwards.

He walked behind me and placed a palm on my lower back, his hand grazed my upper butt a bit. The mould that began the round shape of my behind.

He placed his other hand against my collarbone and moved slowly while I matched his steps.

"No. She didn't. My mother never loved me... Heck I was bad luck, an unwanted teenage pregnancy that ruined her life.. Brought her shame and disgrace, she was a single mother. To an unwanted child, while dad was abroad. " We were dancing now...

In a balletic way.

"Bingo. Maybe that's why you had to break free outta your shell and become an extrovert... Because you were looking for attention."

I put my hand on his palm behind my back and pushed him away.

"I wasn't! That's just the real me. "

"I know you Munachi... You're an introvert. "

"You're not me Arthur. You don't know me. " I played with my legs, thrusting out my left foot before the next and twisting my waist in the process.

"But I do. I love you. "

"Favorite color? " I asked him and turned back to smirk at him as I broke into the salsa dance.

"Black." He smirked at me and continued.

"Mine? "

"Blue." He nodded at me.

"Favorite food?" He asked me and I smirked.

"Rice. Jellof. "

He nodded with a weird smile

"While you love all food. That's why you're fucking thick now. "

I rolled my eyes and broke my hips.

He walked behind me and moved his crotch area slowly.

"And it suits you... This curves and butt... Perfect" His hands touched the sides of my waist.

The song was coming to and end... And I moved my butt against his crotch.

Love Lies by Khalid ft Normani Kordei began to play through the speakers and I giggled.

His hands that were on my waist tightened and he grinded slowly behind me.

His right hand left my body and he placed it on my right arm and grinded in the opposite direction.

Arthur's dancing was very much similar with Jason Derulo's and Rooney reminded me of Chris Brown.

Our dancing right now was getting heated.

"See, I know you. " He murmured into my ear... I shivered.

"Sorry if it's hard to catch my vibe, mmm
I need a lover to trust, tell me you're on my side
Are you down for the ride?
It's not easy for someone to catch my eye." I sang slowly with Khalid while I moved.

He thumped against my chest and I stepped forward and moved my body quickly to the song, and then slowed down to graze my fingers along my upper legs and my waist.

" I've been so into your mystery
Is it because of our history?
Are you into me?
When it feels so good, but it's bad for you
Can't say I don't want it 'cause I know I do
Come on over, I need your company
Cravin' that synergy" His voice was low and practically took up Jason Derulo's tune.

He was dancing behind me with his fingers then hands...

He moved again and touched my waist and bent low to whisper-sing into my ear.

"Don't be afraid to tell me if you ain't with it
I see you're focused, yeah, you're so independent
It's hard for me to open up, I'll admit it
You've got some shit to say and I'm here to listen"

I whyned my waist slowly in his hands and he moved them upwards till they were under my breasts...

Not exactly touching them but still not not touching them.

"You're an introvert... You don't throw parties, you stick with your few friends, you're not interested in getting noticed.. You don't look for parties to attend because you don't want to meet new people.. Trust me, please. And accept the real you... Accept the introvert you... An example of an extrovert would be Jasmine or Nonso." He was interrupted by a loud scream...

A very loud scream that frightened me.

"What the fuck? " He grabbed my hand and we ran towards the direction it'd come from... We ran towards senior Ebuka.

"Jasmine's a lesbian! " Aisha yelled, she was panting and she wasn't a dancer... So I guess she'd just run from the cafeteria.

Aisha was the definition of a gossip. A die hard gossip.

"What? " Arthur dropped my hand and walked to her... A small crowd had formed round her.

I walked too, slowly... And wondered why this girl was talking nonsense

"It's been confirmed, Jasmine is a lesbian. " Ayo said as he walked into the auditorium, we all turned to look at him.

"What are you talking about? " I narrowed my eyes at my classmate...

"It's a rumor... And she's not shutting it down.. " He answered me with a glare.

"Besides, reason it... She's never had a boyfriend since 7th grade. Never been kissed and she's extremely rude to guys. " I rolled my eyes at the girl who spoke.

"How does that one now make her a lesbo?... Girl abeg borrow sense and use, not everyone's a whore like you. " Dominique said.

I nodded.

"I'm not a whore.. She just confirmed it..."

"How? " Nonso asked.

"She's still in the cafeteria, we both ran here to give you guys the information... She just kissed a girl. " Most people gasped but I still refused to believe that.

"Chai, so na watin dey happen for cafe when we dey here? Una dey kiss each other(Wow! So that's what happens when we're not in the cafe? You all kiss each other?) "Kenelum laughed and walked away.

"Did you see her kiss a girl or you heard? " Arthur asked.

Aisha smiled at Arthur before continuing.

"We all saw it. Near the toilet. She probably thought no one was watching.. And they kissed. "

"I always suspected her. " Nonso muttered and I turned to look at him.

"Shay! Me too, she's never dated anyone in this school always turning guys down. " I eyed the girl who said that and walked towards the door.

I definitely didn't believe this bull.

My best friend was definitely not a lesbian... She was just pure..

"Munachi! Where are you going to? Munachi?! " Senior Ebuka yelled at me.

I had plans to ignore him.

"Yes... We've done our part... We'll practice again very early tomorrow morning. " Arthur answered for me and he was besides me in a twinkle of an eye.

"Do you believe them? " I whispered.

The sun was setting right now and it was casting this orange glow around us.

"I don't know... It's possible. " I stopped to look at him with a raised brow.

"What? Nonso has been suspecting her since Ss1... And he does have a point. "

"Well, she's not, I'm her best friend and also a girl... I'm sure I would know if she'd ever thrown advances at me sexually and she's never for once done that. She just doesn't date guys in this school and boom! She's a lesbian? " My voice raised, we were walking quickly to the cafeteria.

I just hoped they'd not raised a huge mountain of a molehill.

"Yeah. But then again she kissed a girl... "

"You believe that?! "

"Ayo would never lie... Aisha's a chronic gossip straight from 8th grade, but he's not... Maybe that's why he followed so we'll believe. " I raised my second eyebrow at him this time.

"Well, she's not a lesbian! "

"Okay?! " he shrieked.

••

"Silvana... What happened? " I asked when I'd finally located Silvana... Turns out they didn't seat in the same spot during lunch...

"Where's Jazz? " Arthur asked too.

"Nachi? Why're you here? Don't you have practice or something? " She ignored our questions.

"What happened. "

"Where's Jasmine? "

"Jasmine kissed a girl... The girl told her it was a dare.. And she just agreed.. Then like that one stupid crowd formed and started labeling her a lesbian. " Silvana looked down and tossed her plate of rice away.

"She's talking with one senior like that, the one her brother gave letter to deliver to. " I nodded.

I sat down beside her and scanned the cafeteria, thankfully they didn't create a mountain.

The cafeteria was calm mainly the junior side... Seemed like people that even had a clue of what'd just happened were SS3's and SS2's

"Baby?! " Silvana gasped loudly and stood up to hug.. Nonso.

Nonso wasn't alone.. His friends were besides him, Dominique, Segun, Kenneth, Kenelum, Chidinma all stood awkwardly besides him.

"Guy, na dare. The kiss no mean anything(It was just a dare. The kiss wasn't important)" Arthur told Dominique who nodded in understanding.

"Guy, but she still kiss fellow girl. Which kain nonsense dare be that(But she still kissed a fellow girl. What type of stupid dare was that?)" Nonso scowled and Silvana unwrapped her hands from Nonso.

And glared at him.

"Dare na dare, abeg. Calm down... Na that stupid Aisha wey dey always twist things.(A dare's a dare, please calm down. It's Aisha who always complicates things) " Dominique slapped Nonso's back.

"Guy I swear. Remember how she join spread that lie say Arthur be one fine new girl for eight grade when e come newly?... When we con find out he be guy, she con dey swoon over am.(Remember how she was among those who spread that rumor about Arthur being a fine new girl in right grade when he just joined us? When we found out he was a guy, she started swooning over him.)" Kenneth frowned.

"I swear. The idiot too dey twist things(The idiot over complicates things.) " Segun joined and I smiled at them...

Glad they aren't taking this out of proportion

"But the truth is.. She kissed a girl and that's the main thing, forget the dare stuff. Chidinma you fit kiss girl(Chidinma can you kiss a girl?)" Nonso turned to look at her.

"Yes na. I don kiss plenty girls tey tey(I've already kissed a lot of girls)" Nonso sighed and looked down.

"You're not even a girl.. You're a guy, so fashi(forget) you. Silva can you? "

Silvana nodded.

"If it's a dare. I can... But I won't just go around and be kissing girls. I'm straight. "

"Tarrh! Straight is boring, I like my girls who can get nasty with their fellow girl. " Kenelum said loudly..

Silvana eyed him.

"Thankfully I'm not any of your girls. "

"And she'll never be. " Nonso muttered, he was glaring at Kenelum with this sorta pleading look before he squeezed Silvana's arm.

What was that all about?

"Damn! " Williams laughed loudly behind us.

"I'm not a lesbian guys. " We all turned at her tiny voice.

Jasmine.

"We know. " Nonso frowned at her, his lips turned down in a snarl.

"You don't believe me? " She looked down.

"It was just a dare. A stupid one that one stupid girl tricked me to do... I swear I like guys. " She added.

"Ehn.. We believe you. " Nonso scrunched up his lips at her. Silvana stomped on his right feet and he groaned.

Silvana started speaking, "Forget Nonso.. We believe yo-"but then she did it, she kissed him.

Jasmine kissed Segun....

Jasmine just kissed a guy...

And the kiss was heated.

Everyone in the cafeteria had turned their eyes to look at our table.

I even sighted Aisha with her mouth dropped at one of the doors. Sighted her and a few others with their mouths dropped.

Jasmine pulled away from Segun and I watched their saliva trail before it disappeared.

Wow.

"See! I like guys.. I'm sexually attracted to guys.. But not just any guy in this school... No offense but y'all ain't fine." Jasmine said after a minute of silence.

"Holy shit." Nonso muttered.

I smirked at him.

Glad she disappointed you.

"Including me? I'm not fine?" Arthur touched his chest and faked a sob.

Jasmine shook her head and smiled weakly.

"You're okay. But... " She trailed off and started walking towards an exit.

Arthur was beyond okay... Arthur was over fine.. He was sexy and hot.

What type of fine is she looking for?...

I stood up and followed her and Silvana did the same.

••

"Girls, I have a confession. " Jasmine broke the silence... We were walking to our hostel and no one was beside or around us.

My heart began to pound... Was she a lesbian?

"You're a lesbian?" Silvana asked my question for me.

"No!... Not like anything is wrong with being a lesbian."

"You're in Nigeria. You'll go to jail. For 15 years. " Silvana muttered and Jasmine sat on a huge boulder nearby.

"I know. But I don't find girls sexually attractive. I like comparing breasts with other girls and smacking y'all's butt when you're both bathing but I'm straight."

"Then what'd you want to confess? " Silvana sat besides her

"Yeah.. Tell us. " I muttered and stood behind them.

Jasmine nodded and looked around and scooted a bit for me.

I sat down besides her and squished her in the middle.

"... What I'm about to tell you... It's a secret, not a single soul should should know about it. " We nodded.

She took in a deep breath.

"... This must never leave the three of us, I'm begging you. Please also don't judge me so much. " Jasmine said and Silva and I both nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"I might be in love with my brother. " Silvana immediately gasped.

"Huh? What?? "

"I'm in love with my brother... That's why I hate all these girls who'd ever dated him... "

"It's normal for you to hate those girls.. Doesn't mean you love your brother. " Silvana said..

"I do.... And we've done things. " Jasmine sighed.

"Things like?" I asked.

"... I don't know where to start from.. But it's a sin and I know it. We've practiced incest. " She hung her head low.

"We've kissed and more dirty stuff. I know it's a sin.. But it happened a long time ago.. And sometimes I just feel like it's just this weird dream I had.. A long time ago. " Her voice cracked at the end.

"My parents were never at home.. And we just... Became each other's best friend... And we got too close. " Silvana stood up and gave a low shout.

"God forbid Jasmine! "

"Please calm down... I'm not sure if this ever happened. But then again I'm sure I didn't just imagine it. " I froze.

"One day we were watching this porno movie his friends gave him together, that's how close we were. We grew up in a home where it's normal for my dad to peck my lips, it was nothing sexual so he George also started pecking my lips too, saying bye or hello or for pictures and one day he actually just kissed me instead of a peck but it was nothing sexual either just him pressing his lips on me with more force than usual

Back to that day, we'd opened my dad's whiskey cabinet and popped a bottle... I was in primary 6 and he was in Ss1, he was on holiday. He got horny and my brother was just so fine, that's why no guy I ever meet can ever compare to him.. I'd already developed a crush on him then, the pecks, the sleeping in the same bed, you guys have to understand before my home had none of these boundaries between anybody.

We excused everything under 'this is just what healthy family who love each other do', even some comments on Facebook back then condemned my dad pecking my lips in pictures and my mother would attack back saying she pitied them for growing up without love in their home and I don't know, I thought it was love!

I don't know how but we kissed.. And he touched me down there and then I pulled down his shorts and... we were just acting out what we'd seen on TV because it must be okay if we both loved each other, we kissed so what's a couple more things to do.

But it wasn't, immediately after I felt so much disgust with myself and I knew George did too" I blinked at her.

This was worst than being a lesbian.

How did she keep this to her self for so long?!

"How do you just do sexual things with your older brother? Blood brother Jasmine! That's a sin before God and man. " Silvana's eyes were bulging while I remained calm.

I wasn't going to judge her now. Besides it took some real courage for her to tell us this.

"You've kissed George and to be clear in your family terms you kissed him sexually and you guys touched.. How's that possible? " Silvana sat back down and whispered.

"I'm still not sure if I didn't imagine it. But I remember him begging me to forgive him and to swear to never tell our parents. " A tear dropped from her eyes.

"After that second day.. He just became quiet and acted like it never happened so I got so sure.. It never happened. My parents never noticed but it's what created the first boundary in our home, George and I close our door and never talk about that day and then I entered Emerald academy...

We became best friends again, because for some weird reasons his classmates thought I was cute and they usually just gathered round me break time...

And then the males always threw sexual advances at me and then that older brother instinct kicked in.. I realized later on those girls never truly liked me and they were just using me to get to my brother and the guys... Just liked me because I was too mature for my class... I was 14 in Js1.. Entered when I was 13 and October suddenly happened and I was 14... My body grew too quickly. " Jasmine whispered.

"And then I started hating those girls he dated publicly.. Because I just got jealous that he could be open with them.. Meanwhile i was made to believe what happened never happened... That's it.  I've never told anyone about this not even Williams, but today I realized this wasn't something I could keep to myself anymore. I'm not a lesbian and I hope you understand why I have never entertained any boy, it's not because I'm a lesbian it's because I... I'm ruined, I'm damaged, I'm a mess. I'm trash" She wiped her tears and I wrapped my arm round her shoulder.

"You're not trash Jazz" I told her and hoped she believed me.

"I am Muna, I'm so dirty. I'm stained. I grew up and realized it was weird, my family dynamics now disgusts me. My mom walks around naked in our house, so does my dad. None of them know what a boundary is because they don't have any one and I won't be surprised to learn if they engage in those private orgies because they throw weird parties every two months, one we're both not allowed to be in the house for and it disgusts me Muna, they disgust me. "

Silvana sighed and moved closer to us. "You can't call your parents disgusting Jasmine, end of the day they didn't adopt you. You're related by blood. You can't call yourself disgusting. "

Jasmine stared at Silvana then snuggled closer and sobbed on me.

"But I am! I am disgusting, I'm in love with my brother" Jasmine wailed.

"It's your family dynamics that's disgusting, not you. My mom used to peck me when I was younger too, your parents just seem odd and unfortunately you both were victims of their obvious poor parenting. The shame isn't yours, it's theirs. The family dynamic holds the shame. Not you or George. He was older yes and should have known better but he was older and that means he must have been exposed to that dynamic for far too long. " Silvana consoled and Jasmine cleared her nose into her hankie.

"You mean it?" she stared into Silvana's eyes like she needed to believe her words and take them as the Bible.

Silvana nodded and continued talking. “I've always found it odd how sexual your brother was, videos of his foursomes and fivesomes leaked every holiday and at first it was just with sex workers wearing masks but then fellow students, girls in this school then started literally volunteering to film with him without even wearing masks. I understand now, that's how he deals with the trauma. You internalized and tell yourself you're in love with him. My dear, you're just traumatized. By him.

He externalizes his trauma, boundaries don't exist and it's why he has to be with different girls at the same time. No wonder he had so much anger issues, do you think he knows he hates himself Jasmine?"

Jasmine shrugged.

“I don't know really, my brother and I now we run from each other. It's all surface siblinghood, like we don't know how to love each other as siblings so we don't even try."

Silvana nodded.

This was the part of her I loved the most, she always sounded so smart whenever she talked.

Certainly she read ahead, more than I ever could. It's why our principal adores her. She's like our grade's special weapon. Even from Js3 she went on competitions against senior students and won.

It's why I was afraid I'd lose this part of her to Nonso, because she'd merged her identity so much with him.

If they break up, who would she be?

Silvana's voice brought me back, "I'm sorry... For yelling at you. I'm just surprised that type of thing happens in Nigeria. " she snuggled on Jasmine.

"Well.. It happens, sometimes you just never hear about it. " Jasmine muttered.

We just never hear about it...

Lots of things are frowned at in Nigeria... And because of that... We just never hear about it.

••

͡ ʖ ͡

"If I die, don't cry. I'd been dead a long time and you just didn't notice. "
-Unknown.