Rooney Edwin.

Songs for Chapter: Majesty by Peruzzi.
Power Rangers by Teni.

"You're not tutoring Silvana are you?"

What a great way to start this conversation.

Called me in here to ask me that. Yeepee yay.

"Yes sir. She replaced me." I replied honestly and he hummed.

"She told me this morning. Rooney, I don't know what to say, you are aware that I'll have to revoke the reward. The five percent increase. " He said and I nodded slowly.

He nodded too. "Who did she replace you with? I mean, who's as great as thee sir Rooney."

Okay, so we're mocking me now? Cool.

"No one. I made her replace me, I can't work with someone who yaps nonstop. I quit, she looked hard and she just finally found a replacement, who by the way is not as great as I am. " I told him and he chuckled.

"Calm down boy. Calm down, the question was who. Who replaced you?" He was smirking now and I turned away from him so I could roll my eyes.

I turned back and answered him. "Munachi, Munachi Odumba. She's in Silvana's class."

He hummed again. "Munachi Odumba. I know her. Quite a brilliant, young quiet girl she is, she performs excellently well-"

"Not like me she doesn't. "

He started laughing and I felt awkward standing in front of him while he sat down on his comfy seat laughing at me.

Like.

I deserved to be seated too.

"Rooney. You're quite the humor can yourself, aren't you chap? Yes, she doesn't perform as well as you do. She performs far better than you do."

Fuck! My chest.

Stop talking.

"Well, theoretically she does. Her report card so far has never had anything less than 70 in CCA. She's an all A student, she's strong in all sides. Her English scores are quite envious... Envious and inspirational for someone like you-"

He didn't stop talking.

"And her maths scores! Wow-"

"Okay! Sir, I get it. Okay. She's good, she's that. But I'm better. I've always been. " I interrupted him and he smirked at me.. Weirdly

"I see. Seems like you're already envious of her. But we only need the inspiration. Get rid of the envy, let that quiet soul inspire you to be better than you are now. Inspire you to take up comprehension works more seriously. Let Munachi Odumba be your inspiration. "

Oh..

Kay.

••

"Two weeks have passed since midterm break and they're still not talking about exams, I don't understand this school anymore. " Belema's voice was suddenly way too loud and I found my self finally looking up from the text book on my desk.

Hearing her voice made me feel like I'd snapped out of a trance, I looked round the class and tried to find out how many people would yell at her for shouting.

I saw no one.

Who was she talking to?

Why am I still in school?

I vaguely remember Arthur and the rest telling me they had to leave before the closing bell.

I just don't understand how or why I'm alone in an empty class, in a probably deserted school... With Belema.

Ew. Only God knows how many slaps she'd give me today.

"Rooney." She called out my name and I decided to ignore her, I closed the textbook and shoved it into my bag, then I picked up my shoe polish to dust off my shoes.

"Rooney. I'm talking to you."

"Well, I'm not."

"I'm sorry for slapping you weeks ago. I should have apologized since and I know but I've been so scared. You're always with Kenelum. He slaps girls. So I took the opportunity to do so today because you were finally all alone. Why are you still in school sef, aren't you meant to be in the auditorium practicing?" Belema continued talking to herself and I stood up.

She quickly rushed to my side and gripped my arm, I looked out the door and sighed in relief when I saw that more people were still in school.

At least, I'm not that late for practice.

Last time I'm taking Mister George's advice. Last time I'm ever reading COMPRESS THE COMPREHENSION ...

In school at least.

Like, how the fuck didn't I hear the bell ring?

Belema's sharp nails pushed deeper into my skin till she was piercing me and I was brought back to reality. "Let go of me Belema."

"Nooo. Say you've forgiven me now. "She tried to bargain with me and I walked towards the door while unhappily and without my consent, dragging her with me.

Leave me alone.

"Let go of me."

"No! Say you've forgiven me. "

Arrgh! Alright, fine! I can't drag you forever, can I?

" I have forgiven you. Now get off me. " I told her and she obeyed. I walked out the door and instantly came face to face with a face I'd been successfully avoiding for three weeks straight.

"Munachi." I'm surprised I didn't whisper.

She looked away and tried to walk away from me but I didn't let her, I grabbed her arm and yanked her backwards.

I've been avoiding you doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you.
Where's the logic in your words?

Why have I been avoiding you?
How would I know?

Why am I now holding you back?
Guy, two MB. Browse it.

Munachi stared at my hand round her arm and her eye language switched on. 'Let go of me.'

"No-"

"Rooneyyyy!" Belema yelled and the vignette round Munachi's face that I didn't even notice was there suddenly faded away.

I groaned and Belema appeared besides me. She was panting roughly and her school shirt's first three buttons were open and it was fucking obvious because her pinafore was now down on her stomach instead of being on her shoulders.

Why's this one now panting? How difficult was it to run from where'd I left you to the door?

Does she always walk to the cafeteria with her Pinafore down?

And why the hell did she just call me like I stole her money?

I stopped looking at her and I stared at Munachi whose eyebrows were quirked at me, took me a moment to realize that she was also squinting her eyes at Belema at the same time. Her eyes slowy met mine and she nudged at the both of us.

Why?

I bet Belema's stupid panting can't let her reason properly, because this girl is confusing me too

Why's she panting like someone they just fucke-Oh.

Fuck! No.

We were both alone in my classroom after school and she just came out panting and with her pinafore down.

I don't like how this looks like, I wouldn't even fuck Belema if they paid me to.

Even if they brain washed me to, the absolute disgust I felt for her would break me out of the spell.

"No, this isn't what it looks like. " I dropped Munachi's arm and pressed down the wrinkles on the short sleeve of my school shirt.

Wrinkles that Belema had put there.

Belema was smirking at Munachi and this mystic gum appeared in her mouth because she started making loud popping sounds.

What the fuck?

"Oh, you're here. Numb what do you want? We're busy can't you see?" She blew a gum and Munachi shocked me.

She pulled out a pen from the pocket on her pinafore and popped it.

"Be an actress." Three words were more than enough to make Belema gasp.

"What do you mean? Weirdo Mc booger face." Belema recovered quickly.

Munachi stared at her and her facial features morphed into sadness... No, pity.

"You're a natural liar. You'd make a good actress." Munachi sort of adviced and turned to walk away, I smirked at Belema and followed Munachi.

Who acted like I was invisible and walked into her class, she picked up her school bag, skipped over the moving brooms on the floor and turned to walk out while I stayed outside and besides the door with my bandana round my nose. For health reasons.

I was asthmatic.

Not as serious as the ones I'd seen. Mine was just like an advanced Dust reaction. None the less, if I inhaled way too much dust I'd have a seizure.

It'd been years since I'd had one and I really fucking avoided such a situation.

She stopped walking, "Stop following me." A pause in between each word.

"I'm not. " I lied to her and she turned to look at me.

"Daddy says I'm an intelligent child. I read people perfectly well. You can't lie to me. "

At least we were getting somewhere.

More words in a sentence. We're almost back to normal.

"I'm sorry, please. " I apologized on reflex and she squinted her eyes at me. 'For what?'

Yay! The eye language is back.

More reasons not to talk to me.

Yeepee, yayy.

"For, I don't know. Not replying your message weeks ago?" I told her and she chuckled.

Okay?

"Maybe something happened to your phone. But what happened to you in school? You've been blatantly ignoring me-"

"Blatantly." I smirked at her. "Nice, you learnt a new word." I'd expected her to hiss or walk away, she blinked at me. Twice.

"I'll push you." Three words, one threat and I suddenly became aware that I was right in front of the stair landing.

I smiled at her. "You wouldn't." She moved closer to me and I stepped backwards. Slid my shoes over a stair block, she moved again and I stepped backwards again.

She moved again and walked right behind me.

I realized that she wouldn't had even pushed me and grabbed her hand.

I turned her till her face was staring up at mine and pushed her back unto the wall.

"I'm sorry. " I cheated on you, even though we aren't dating. But you've got to understand, she actually sexually harassed me.

She did not but still!

"You've been avoiding me, why?" She asked and tried to squirm out of my hold.

Finally, a reaction.

I'll answer your question later, let's just talk.

"Look, I was online reading this article on how to help depress-"

"You think I'm depressed?" She interrupted me and Numb's emotions were on full display on her face.

She was shocked.

"I'm not depressed, I can sometimes feel happiness."

"That's not what depression means stupid." I learned closer to her on another reflex and she blinked.

She tried to raise up a hand but she was literally locked in.. In me. "Yes it is. Depression is the inability to feel happy."

"No, well that's what I thought until..." I trailed off and smirked at her. "I read ahead."

She scoffed and I laughed.

"Anybody can get depressed. Except babies and toddlers. Well, maybe they can, they can get traumatized? I don't know but I know our attachment style can be influenced by our experiences as babies and toddlers.

Depression is a mental disease and it doesn't just affect white people. It affects everyone. You're intelligent. According to mister George. " I whispered the last part out and continued when she quirked.

"But the Nigerian mentality is clouding your reasoning. Was clouding mine too but-"

She interrupted me.

"If you say you read ahead again I'll push you." She threatened,

I sighed and stepped back and away from her.

"Yeah... But, I read ahead." I rapped out quickly and stuck out my tongue at her childishly. She smiled and it morphed into a cute giggle.

Time literally froze as I stared at her, right now it felt like I'd gone back in time to the day when she spilled oil on me and we were on the walkway back to school. Felt like butterflies had exploded in my veins.

How could anybody label anyone with a smile like that, Numb?

How could I not stop them ?

"You're beautiful. " I muttered out involuntarily, her laughter instantly seized and I froze.

What the fuck did I just say?

"No. I'm not. I can never be half as beautiful as mother is."

"Yes you can, yes you are. You're already more beautiful than her to me. " I blurted out again and her eyes widened.

I'd seen her mother's pictures online from a Google search, she was an actor and not the asabawood actor.

She was the type that appeared in Nigerian movies in cinemas, proper quality Nollywood and I was shocked to find out there was no mention of her having a daughter anywhere online, no marriages, no kids and anything family linked back to her parents who were late and died in a car crash, a car crash that was recorded as one with no survivors much to my greatest surprise. It was like Munachi did not exist at all in Stella sTain's life.

Luckily, Munachi existed and a Google search of her father showed pictures of Munachi and him hugging on the first page.

Her father claimed her and had legal full custody of Munachi which was wild because she lived majority of the time with her mother.

There was nothing online that linked Munachi as a sTain but everything linked her to the Odumba's.

"You think so?" She frowned at me.

"I know so." I smiled at her.

She looked like her father so much and I'd argue that her father was more attractive than her mother so yes, of course she was more beautiful.

We continued staring at each other till I realized that I wasn't done talking.

"So yes, you're depressed and I understand why-"

"How do you know that I'm depressed, it isn't written on my forehead and I sometimes smile."

"You exhibit almost all the traits a depressed person would and you're not even getting it. Depression doesn't auto stop you from feeling happy, depression can be seasonal it might come during rainy season or during winter, depression can be caused by location... School can make people depressed, churches, gyms... Homes. Broken homes can be depressing." I tuned down my voice and she nodded in understanding.

"I'm not from a broken home."

"Your dad wasn't aware your mum was pregnant, he left you all in Nigeri-"

"He came back. "

"Yeah, after all the damage had been made. Your grandparents died." I said and she walked towards a corner on the landing.

"It wasn't his fault. I was the one who killed my grandmother."

"No, you didn't. She saved your life."

"Lies!" And for the first time since I could remember, Munachi Odumba yelled at me.

Far more than a reaction.

Go on. You're doing it.

"If I never existed they'd be no life to save. She wouldn't had bent over my body to save my life, if I didn't exist." She croaked and stared down at the floor.

"It wasn't your fault. It was the Truck driver's fault. He was careless, stupid and deserve the death sentence he got."

"Another life I destroyed... "

"He must've had a family, a daughter or a son and a wife who didn't want their breadwinner hung to death because he drunk drove. I ruin things.

I've been a curse. On my birthday, my grandfather lost his life because I was in his car, because they were both taking me out on a treat, my grandmother died because she tried to save my life. Their death made headlines because of me."

Ironically now, there's nothing that ties back to you. You have been erased out of that accident, but I wasn't even sure she knew that.

I doubt she googles her family, I don't google my family because I live my reality but I googled her mother the moment she absent mindedly said her mother's surname and I made her repeat herself because I couldn't believe what I had heard.

sTain? The sTain had a child? During a family movie night we've watched a movie where she was the female lead, a Bonny island action movie and I remember how she had a touch of Hollywood in her method acting then we discussed how she was related to the great thespian: sTain Adams—her father and Munachi Odumba's grandfather.

I was dumbfounded that Munachi's mother was the  sTain Stella!

"Because of me my mother was humiliated, mocked and laughed at by her peers. Because of me. She almost lost her life trying to abort me. So excuse me if I have a reason to be depressed. "She blared out and I smiled.

She squinted her eyes at me in real anger and I chuckled.

"Anyone who calls you numb is so fucked up. I'll be around you as much as I can and I dare anyone to call you that. You're dropping that stupid ass nickname. Yes, you have a reason to be depressed. Yes you had. You had a reason but they're all in the past-"

"My grandparents all died on my own birthday. I have. I have a reason not to smile at all." I sighed and walked closer to her.

I hugged her and she sniffed in my shirt. "My mother lost everything because of me, the village people would've taken the house if they could and all because of me. My dad dropped out of college abroad to come find us. My mother loathed me, she kept repeating words that I started believing in."

"Look at it this way, you've been depressed for a long time now. I knew from the day you told me your story weeks ago. You just didn't know you were." Weird words to say in school, odd words to say in junior secondary school. Strange words to say at my age.

"It's so fricking obvious that you're not Numb, you're lonely. Because every time I look at your eyes, I hear your emotions, I don't feel them. I hear them. I see your thoughts and behind those eyes, there's a girl in there desperately trying to break free. A girl who needs to be wanted so she can escape.
I'll be your redemption. Only if you let me. " I told her and she slowly nodded.

She hugged me back and I took a deep breath in.

Time to finally answer your question.

"I did something majorly stupid this holiday and I feel guilty, that's why I've been avoiding you. I wasn't ready to tal-"

"What'd you do?" She abruptly asked.

"I know we're not dating but I think I cheated on you."

"How?"

"My older brothers, Darrel and Darren. Do you know them?" She nodded and I continued.

"They gave this girl my number although they didn't know she was stalking me and she called me and literally became porn-"

"What's porn?"

Of course you'd ask.

Like...

"I gave you a fricking phone. With a two month subscription in it. You should've learnt more things." I teased and she pulled back.

Ready to talk back.

I feel like Munachi Odumba is coming back.

" I did! I learnt new words, like twerk and grind."

Dancing.

Dancing illustrates emotions.

Hmmn.

"... I also watched a yooohoo toob video of the meaning of sex." Her wrong pronunciation of YouTube brought back my attention.

"Well stupid. Porn is sex. Porn is an abb for pornography. Can be pictures or videos of naked men and women or men and men or women and women having sex. Get?" I tutored and she nodded.

"So she was naked in the phone call? How did you see her then? Ohh, FaceTime?"

"Noo. WhatsApp video call. She called me when she was naked and touched her boobs while I watched. " I confessed quickly and expected another weird question.

"Did you like it?"

Yep, there it is.

"Yes, so much and it's why I feel guilty." I explained and she moved her back on the wall.

Someone's dark silhouette suddenly appeared on the wall besides her and we both looked up, someone in her class stared back at us and I realized how incriminating this position was.

Her back against the wall, me towering over her.

See, you better be wise and don't start a rumor about something stupid.

He walked down the stairs and ignored us both, I was about to start talking again when another person walked down too

Guess I'll just wait for any other person who wants to interrupt us to walk past.

Munachi sighed, "Why would she do that? You liked it? You like it when a girl touches her breast?"

Obviously... Yesss!

"Yes?" I replied and she sighed again.

"So you like her? Is she now your girlfriend?" Weird questions.

"Ew, no. I like you." Weird reply. Wait.

What did I just say?

Please don't freak out. Please Munachi.

"Me too." She smiled at me and immediately hugged me.

When she did I felt this strange calmness rush over me and I took a deep breath in.

"So you're not angry at me?"

"For watching porn?" She asked and I sighed against her fluffy soft hair.

"For watching her porn and liking it."Now it was her turn to sigh.

"Of course not. Now tell me more. How do I stop being depressed?" She scrunched up her nose.

"Depression doesn't come from God, I'm sure God in no wa-"

"I don't believe in God. I don't believe in his existence, if he exists then why does he let me suffer so much? Why do I always feel this way? Why does it feel like, I have zero reason to go on. Sometimes, I just want to die and end it all. But, I can't. I'm scared to die, I don't want to. But... It feels like, it's the only way I can finally end it all."
I could've interrupted her when she'd first started.

I could've interrupted this fourteen year old girl talking about how she doesn't believe in God. But I didn't.

I listened.

And heard the most unexpected outburst I'd ever listened to.

"Well, he exists. I've also felt that way too you know? My dad died and I remember hating on God, I believed in him but I hated him. Why does he let everyone on Earth suffer if he loves us all? Till date, I have no explanation. But I know that all these are just tests-"

"Why does he test us?" She asked loudly.

"Why? Why did mother's parents both have to die on my birthday? Why did mother have to shuffle between two jobs just to send my dad to school, especially her acting career she hated it in the beginning, she came back drunk and crying and she never told me why. I think bad men did bad things to her because of us. Why did... Why does she have to hate me? Why does God let her hate me?"

"I don't know. I do know that he's watching over you, two four seven, three six five. Every single time. This depression, he's going to help you through it. Just believe in him and stare at the devil's eyes head on. Demand an answer and free your self from his shackles.. Only you can do that. Because he's the only one holding you back. " I told her and squeezed her in my arms.

"How?" She asked me and I picked up the crack in her Ariana voice.

I pulled her back and stared at her eyes, glistening with tears.

Shinning with emotions.

How on Earth can you call this girl Numb???!

Are you blind?

She's dripping emotions.

Dancing illustrates Emotions.

Dancing is an art, dancing is a language.

Arthur had seen her dance. She dances. She's done it before... She can do it.

Munachi Odumba,

"You dance. Channel all your emotions into it and free your self. Put in passion and dance out of it. Hell, I'll even dance with you." I replied and she chuckled,

"I can't dance."

"The last time I tried to dance, that murderer killed my friend."

"Arthur?" I asked and she nodded.

"Okay. Don't dance then." She frowned and I smiled.

"But, you're forgetting something. " I told her.

"I didn't ask if you could dance. I said, we're going to dance."

••

"You don't know who you are until you forget who you were."