You must've been happy today.

You must've been when I took the bruised apple in my shaking hand.

You must've been when I sat on top of a toilet inside a vandalised cubicle at lunch.

You must've been when I let a few tears fall as I recalled everything that went wrong.

All of you are skinning me alive.

I don't know if I can take it.

It was cold in there. You are colder.

You must've been happy today.

You must've been when I threw my apple in the bin next to the toilet uneaten.

You must've been when I stayed oblivious to the bucket of ice cold water that hung above my head.

You must've been because before I wrapped my hands around the lock, my gasp echoed through the room in shock, the warm blue shirt that once hugged me clinging onto my skin like frozen pine needles.

I knew you were behind it.

That's why you're happy today.

It's okay.

I watched as my reflection stared back at me.

You must've been happy today.

You must've been since I don't know who that girl is anymore.

You've buried her.

She looked...pathetic.

You must've been happy when I pulled back the door that separated me from reality, just to reveal you in all your glory.

You must've been happy today.

But the way you twisted your face when you saw me take a step back into the restroom when I saw you stated otherwise.

You must've been happy today.

But I know you're not.