"Nah, man. I heard that Ricky's got a few of the illegals this year."

I didn't have to ask what Nix and Buck were discussing; today was the Fourth of July, and according to Cady, there was always a massive bonfire down on the beach in celebration. Hudson had explained that there was a rotation of rich kids who took the responsibility of buying everything, setting up, and providing the fireworks and alcohol. This year, that fell on the Bennett's. Cady, with this knowledge, had sent me home from work early to try and make sure the boy's didn't destroy the beach too bad. Because she and I would be the ones to clean up the aftermath of it tomorrow.

"Dude, I remember the one you lit last year. That shit almost hit your dumb ass." Nix responded, shaking me from my daze. Buck was shaking his head, but his eyes were bright with amusement over the memory. "We got to go bigger this year."

I looked between Nix and my older brother, ready to interject in the conversation when Aden shoved passed me in the doorway, three cases of beers in between his arms. I shot him a dark look as he set them down, but he only returned it.

"Aden, be nice to your sister." Buck said, but the lightness in his tone was a sure sign he was mocking our parents. "Seriously, bro, she's a chick. Don't keep ramming into her like that."

"Keep doing it," Nix added. "I'll kick your ass, kid."

Aden snorted at the threat. "I'd like to see you try."

"Enough." Phil stepped into the beach house, tracking a flip flop full of sand on to the wooden floor as he dropped a pile of cups on to the chair beside me. "Both of you need to stop this childish shit. You're seventeen, not seven."

Aden had been going out of his way to try and piss me off the last two days. Every morning he'd walk into my room and splash a glass of ice cold water on me, he'd taken all my clothes and my towel from the bathroom last night so I'd have to walk across the hall naked, and was continuously making snide remarks under his breath. Our disagreement the other day over our mother must have only widened the gaping hole of separation that had been between us since I'd come back.

"Ari didn't even do anything." Sam defended as he gently nudged me aside so he could set down an arm full of hamburger buns. "Aden's just had hits panties in a twist since she got here."

If looks could kill, Sam would have dropped dead at my feet with the look my twin shot him. "So much for bros before hoes, Samuel."

"Our sister isn't a hoe, Aden." Sam said through his teeth. "She is our God Damn sister and you better grow up and start acting like it."

"She stopped being my sister when she chose to go with Mom instead of staying with us." Aden retorted, "She can go drown for all I care."

To my surprise it wasn't Sam who slapped Aden hard upside the head, but Buckley. He'd made his way over to us sometime in the midst of the argument erupting between Sam and my twin, and looked ready to throw Aden over his shoulder and go throw him out of the house.

"In case you forgot, we have seniority over your little ass, kid." Buck shoved Aden back. "So unless you want to hole yourself up in your room while all of us go have a blast tonight, close your big mouth and leave Arianna alone."

Aden snickered, muttering incoherently under his breath before he rammed his shoulder into mine on his way back out the door, slamming it so hard behind him it shook on its hinges. I swallowed the dryness in my throat and looked to Buckley staring at the door.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause problems."

Phil shook his head, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly. "You didn't, Ari. He's just being a little dick. Give him some time, he'll come around."

I nodded, looking to Nix in hopes he'd cut the tension in the room. "Cady told me you guys are in charge of the Fourth of July bonfire tonight."

"We are." Buck answered instead, grinning. "It's been like five years since our last turn. I'm so hyped."

"Can I come?" I questioned. All four men laughed at my question. Even Nix, still sitting with his long legs stretched out on the sofa, was staring at me in amusement. "What? What's so damn funny about my question?"

"The beach parties aren't like us throwing the parties here, Fae." Nix responded. "We won't be able to keep tabs on you all night. Plus, there's supposed to be a ton of USC and UCLA Frat's coming down. It's not a place for a seventeen year old girl."

I cocked my head to the side, confused. "But Cady can go? You guys want me to open up, to find myself, to live, but won't let me out of your sight for five minutes? The only time I'm free from all of you is when I'm at work on the beach, and even then I have Hudson constantly hovering over me."

"Absolutely not." Phil sounded like Dad as he pressed his palm against the wall to his left, and pinched the bridge of his nose with the other. "There is no way in hell you are going to be walking on Frat hunting grounds."

I stared in disgust at my oldest brother, then looked to all the other boys in the room. "Frat hunting grounds? In case any of you needed the reminder, women aren't objects. They aren't property."

It's Hudson, coming in from the pool deck through the sliding glass door that surprises everyone by siding with me. "I think we should let her go. She knows the beach better than all of you guys. If someone tries messing with her, she knows all the nooks and crannies to hide. It's part of her training. Plus, she's a little firecracker and definitely seems like she can handle herself."

I glanced behind me with a jolt of fear as the door knob turned and the door opened. I was relieved to find Damien step through the door, raking his fingers through his messy hair as he took in everyone in the room. I slowly turned back to Phil and made a gesture toward Hudson behind him, but Damien's arrival had caused hope to flicker in my brother's eyes.

"See, Phil, Hudson gets it." I stated.

"Get's what?" Damien looked to his older brother on the couch, then to me, confused. "What's going on?"

"Fae wants to go to the bonfire tonight." Nix answered, and for a second Damien does nothing but laugh. Not some quiet, little chuckle, but a full on face turning red, belly laugh.

Once he'd regained his composure, he turned to me and looked me dead in the eyes, completely serious and said, "No."

"I think she should go." Hudson repeated, "She's almost an adult, stop treating her like a kid."

I thanked Hudson with a quick nod, all eyes shooting to Nix as he started to consider my half brother's words. "Plus, we're only a little ways down the beach, guys. If anything happens, she can just find one of us to bring her back up here."

"No." Buck and Phil said in unison, looked at each other, then back at me. "You're not going, Ari."

Sam leaned forward and touched a hand to my shoulder. "I'm all for you venturing out on your own, Ari, but not tonight, not there."

The final words of wisdom once again left Hudson's mouth, leaving the entire room silent once he was done speaking.

"If you don't let her go," He said with a quick glance in my direction, "She's going to sneak out and go anyway. You guys may as well agree to it, so she knows she has us to turn to if anything happens tonight."

*

A blurred reflection of Damien appeared in the mirror as he positioned himself in the door frame outside the bathroom. He'd thrown on a plain royal blue shirt, a contrast to the extremely loud, wordy tank top Nix had just left his room wearing. His hands were shoved deep in the pockets of his American Flag swim trunks, lips pursed.

"This is a bad idea." His voice was barely audible, but I had watched his lips move in his reflection in the mirror.

I set my mascara back on the counter and met his eyes in the mirror. "How so?"

"Because you're doing this to piss them off. You're acting out to show them you're not a kid." Damien replied, blinking rapidly as if he were trying to compose himself. "Maybe to get back at Nix, Sam, and Aden for what they said about your mother. But this isn't you, Ari."

"You don't know me, Damien." I twisted the lid off my lipstick a little too forcefully and a smear spread across my right hand. "What makes you think I don't like parties? That I don't enjoy fun."

He pulled his right hand from his pocket and rubbed a hand along the slight stubble that lined his jaw. "I don't know, maybe the fact that you've been in your little shell, not wanting to poke your head out even a little, since you got here three weeks ago. Now suddenly you want to go to the biggest party of the summer? Come on, Ari."

"Why does it even matter to you?" I finally spun on my heel to face him directly. "Why do you care if I go or not? My brother's got over it, you should too."

"I care because I know how my brother is drunk. I care because I know how all men get when they're drunk." Damien closed the distance between us and pointed toward the staircase. "You are going out there to drink and prove you can take care of yourself."

I was gritting my teeth so hard my jaw was beginning to ache. "Or maybe I just want to let loose for one night and see what's so special about all your rich friends."

He gestured toward my face. "You don't put on that much make up to let loose on a beach. You're doing this to piss the boys off."

That was all it took for me to finally snap. I pressed a hand against his hard chest and glared up at him.

"I need this much makeup because I've been crying so much my eyes have become permanently red around the edges, swollen. I need it because my lips are so chapped, so bitten raw, that they bleed. So please, Damien, mind your own business and get the hell out of here."

He reached up and grasped my wrist, wearing the same look of guilt every single one of my brothers, and Nix, did whenever I was on the verge of a breakdown. "You don't need the makeup, Ari. You're already beautiful without it."

I ignored the furling in my stomach and shook his hand off.

"I do need it." I breathed. "I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror, Damien. I would think of all people, you'd understand that."

His body deflated hearing the words, but instead of speaking he wiped a tear from beneath my eye before it could smear my makeup and whispered. "You don't need the makeup, Ari."

Then he was down the stairs and gone, but it wasn't until I walked back into the bathroom that I replayed his words inside my head. He hadn't been talking about the mask of colors I'd poured out of bottles and brushed on from palettes, he'd been referring to the face I wore every day to shield my emotions.

"I hate you!" I screamed at the mirror. But I didn't know if I was talking to the thin, unnaturally skinny teenager girl in a tight black dress, or to my mother. "I hate you!"

Because at the end of the day, I hated both of us. Me for not being able to help her, to save her. For being able to confirm if the words that my brothers spat out about her were true. And I hated her for leaving. For leaving me to fend for myself in this world without any hand to guide me through it all.