Chapter Sixty: We Have a Debt to Live

Colt shoved his hand through his hair and growled as he stared out over the lake. "Fine, y'all. But only one more night. I don't want to stay in one place out in the open any longer than that." He finally relented.

"Thank you, Colt." Rachel managed to choke out, sounding as if the words themselves might kill her. "We really need one more day of rest."

"Uh..sure." Colt mumbled. He was glad when Evangeline settled in beside him on the rock he had sat upon and everyone else wandered off, leaving them alone.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly. "You haven't said much since Katherine's outburst yesterday."

"You know she might be right," Colt sighed as he squinted into the sunlight. "This might all just be a pointless journey and we all could very well die before it's over."

Colt wondered what Evangeline was thinking as she sat beside him with her arm wrapped through his and her head on his shoulder. They simply sat there in silence, breathing in harmony while Jedidiah and Susette splashed in the water. Finally Evangeline turned her head and kissed his arm.

"Colt, even if we all die, I still can't see how this journey or any time we have is a waste. We are all alive today, right now, and that's more than what most of the world has gotten."

"Who would have thought a spoiled little southern belle would be so wise?" Colt teased.

Evangeline nudged him a little with her shoulder. "Stick with me, outlaw, and I'll take ya places."

"You already take me places." Colt assured her with a wink and Evangeline laughed lightly.

"Colt, I know we may not get a happily ever after where we grow old and gray together but that just means we have to live every single day we do have left to its fullest. We have to cling to each other, love each other fiercely and fight tooth and nail for every single moment we can get. We can't just give up hope the way Katherine did. We can't abandon one another and say it's no use. We owe it to all those who have lost their lives to live ours. We owe it to Loralie, Sara, Frankie, Lily, Silas, Charlotte, my mama and papa and countless other souls who don't have any more right nows. We have a debt to live."

"You know I won't let anything happen to you, don't you Evangeline? Those monsters will have to kill me first."

"I know." Evangeline smiled up at him. "And who knows, we all might be just fine. Bigger miracles have happened. You do realize that my aunt just thanked you for something, don't you?"

Colt nodded and a small smile tugged at his lips when he remembered how it had almost sounded as if Rachel was choking on the polite word. "Yeah I reckon you're right." Colt pushed himself to his feet.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going after Katherine.'

"You are?" Evangeline asked, clearly surprised. Colt sighed and pulled off his hat before shoving his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, I reckon I am. I'm hoping I can talk her into coming back. This group is a family and I'd like to keep what's left of it together."

"Do you want me to come?" Evangeline offered.

"No, you stay here and rest. I won't be gone long. She left on foot and I'll take a horse and catch her quickly."

Evangeline nodded and relaxed on the rock, lying on her back and letting the sun soak her face. "Whatever you say, Colt. You are the ruthless leader after all."

Colt was chuckling as he walked away and began untying the brown mare from a shaded rock.

"Where are you going?" Comanche asked, walking over from the lake.

"To find Katherine. I need to see that she's okay and talk her into coming back if I can."

"I will go." Comanche offered.

"That's alright." Colt countered. "You've been doing more than your fair share of the scouting, hunting and work since you came back."

"I like to be busy." Comanche shrugged. "I honestly do not mind. When I am still, I think too often."

Colt nodded because he understood completely. There had been many weeks after losing Sarah and Loralie that Colt had not been able to tolerate being still. And if being busy made Comanche feel better then Colt would gladly give the man work to do. "Alright then, injun. Thank you for bringing back that deer last night. It felt good to have some warm meat in my belly."

Comanche nodded. "I saw many prairie dog mounds while out this morning and set traps for them. I will check them before I return with Katherine."

"Thank you, Comanche. I told you before but I'm gonna tell you again, I'm real damn glad you came back."

"I will be back after a while. It shouldn't be too hard to track her." Comanche whistled and his Paint horse came galloping across the plains to him. Comanche slid into the saddle and took off without another word.

Colt saw Ox sitting alone a short distance from where Rachel was cooking up a bit more of the deer meat from the night before. While Colt hated any discussion that included feelings, he also knew that Ox was Evangeline's brother, his brother-in-law, and a good friend. Right now the giant of a man looked like he could use a friend that had a shoulder and an ear.

Colt grabbed a chunk of cooked meat from the rock Rachel had the finished bits sitting on and munched on it quickly as he made his way to Ox.

***

Katherine had been walking since just after daybreak. The night had been long, chilly and far too dark and quiet. She was used to hearing the sounds of others breathing, snoring and moving while they slept. The silence of being completely alone out here had nearly deafened her.

But it was daylight now and she was feeling more sure of herself. She would just continue to walk until she found a town and then she would set there just as she'd done in the past. She would make it in this world alone. No attachments and no dependency upon anyone else. When she died no one would know and no one would be hurt.

She had no doubts that she would die eventually; they all would. There was no hope and she believed that deep down in her soul.

It was nearing midmorning, probably around ten or so if Katherine were to guess and she decided to stop for a short rest in a wide field full of long grasses and wildflowers. There were red mesas in the distance and the scenery should be beautiful and breathtaking but it evoked no happy feeling from Katherine.

Happiness wasn't something this new world allowed and feeling it would only cause pain. Perhaps it wouldn't be today or tomorrow but eventually.

She was sitting there in relative silence when she heard a grunt come from behind her. Instantly she pulled her gun and whirled around only to hear a tiny 'moo' and see a young calf trotting toward her. It seemed a little nervous about the woman sitting in his field, but more curious.

Katherine glanced a few yard behind the calf and saw the cow standing there, chewing on her cud. She didn't appear to be too worried about Katherine and her calf as she lowered her head once again to the ground.

Katherine crouched down to be more on the tiny calf's level and held out a hand. "Here boy..." she called gently.

The calf came a few steps more and stretched its neck as far as it would go so it could touch its wet pink nose against her palm. Katherine smiled. "That's right. I won't hurt you."

The calf moved closer and Katherine began to stroke the soft brown fur of its neck. It truly was beautiful and innocent and alive. It was young, clearly born after this world had gone to hell.

Katherine chewed on her lip as she stroked the calf's back. Maybe there was hope. This beautiful creature had been born into this world and it was still alive and thriving from the looks of it. Maybe there was a chance that they could all survive this—maybe happily ever after's were still possible.

The cow raised his head, mooed and began to walk away. "You better go with your mama." Katherine urged. She laughed lightly when the calf took off at a run toward its mother. It nearly fell three times in its excitement.

Katherine remained crouched and watching them grow smaller as they wandered away over the plain. She had broken and she didn't like to admit that. Katherine had been so afraid of death—so afraid of losing Ox or Susette and of dying and leaving them that she had taken herself away... but was that really the answer?

She had to go back. She didn't know if they would all forgive her for what she had said but she had to try. She loved Ox and he loved her. She loved Susette and knew the girl was hurt and confused by Katherine's behavior the last two weeks.

Katherine stood slowly, adjusted her sack on her back and took one step back the way she came. The groan came without warning from right beside her ear. The hands were gripping her arm from behind before Katherine even had time to know the rabid they belonged to was there.

Katherine screamed as teeth sunk into her shoulder and her flesh was ripped and torn away from the bone. She went for her gun but the rabid overpowered her and took her to the ground. She managed to pull her knife and drove it into the temple of the rabid before throwing the rotting, stinking monster off of her.

Katherine could not believe what had just happened. She stared down at her mangled shoulder and saw the ripped and torn flesh. She'd been bitten...... She stared at the mother cow and calf, both of which were circling around acting curious about what had just happened.

Katherine lay down on her back and stared up at the blue sky as the shakes began to wrack her body. A tear slipped down her cheek. No one would know she died. At least they wouldn't have to mourn her death. She wished she could speak to Ox. She longed to tell him that she hadn't meant those words she'd spoken out of fear, hurt and desperation. And Susette—God she only wanted to hug the poor child one last time.

The burning pain in her blood was nearly more than Katherine could stand and as her shakes increased she let her eyes slip closed.

***

Comanche sat atop his Paint and stared at the scene below him with a mixture of sadness and horror however there was no surprise. He had suspected that he would find a scene similar to this one, perhaps not entirely like this one, but similar. That was why he had not allowed Colt to look for Katherine. While Colt didn't speak on his emotions much, Comanche had known men like him before. Colt felt too responsible for everyone. He took every death personally and every bad situation they ended up in weighed heavily on the man's soul—this would have been one more terrible sight Colt would never have been able to un-see.

Katherine had been changed. Comanche had ridden over the rise to find her on her knees, feasting hungrily on a dead calf while the mother cow mooed helplessly from several hundred yards away.

Comanche dismounted his horse and left him on the rise, knowing the animal would run if danger came near but would return at the first whistle that Comanche let loose. Comanche walked down the rise with his bow in his hands and an arrow held loosely against the string.

He stepped over the dead body of a rabid and knew that it must be the monster guilty of biting Katherine. Comanche wondered how it had managed to sneak up on someone who had lived with the rabid as long as Katherine had. He knew it was not an impossible feat however, he had learned during those weeks away from the group that life without them was deadly. If you lived alone; you died alone.

"Katherine." Comanche called out and the woman stopped her feast and stood slowly. She turned to look at him and her head cocked to the side. Comanche could see the bite wound on her shoulder and his heart felt heavy.

He and Katherine had never done much in the way of speaking. Calling them close would have been a lie, but that did not change the fact that she was part of the group; part of his tribe. It hurt to see her like this. It hurt to see her lifeless gray eyes and blood covered face. She had bits of gore from the calf hanging from her lips as she took slow, clumsy steps his way.

Gone was the alluring, tempting, beautiful woman she had been and in its place stood a monster. Comanche readied his bow, pulled back the bow and took a deep breath. "I am sorry, Katherine."

***

"Katherine!" Susette screamed as she jumped up from the nap she'd been taking. She was breathing hard and her chest heaving rapidly as her wide eyes searched the camp.

Ox ran to her and she jumped into his waiting arms, clinging to his neck with her skinny arms. "What's wrong, Sue?"

"Katherine's dead," Susette whimpered.

Ox felt his stomach turn. "Why would you say that, Sue?" he asked her with horror.

She buried her face in his neck. "I saw it, Ox... I saw her dead. She was a monster."

Ox nearly dropped Susette. He wanted to scream at her, shake her, call her a liar. He wanted to hate her, hit her, toss her away from him—he couldn't do any of those things.

"Susette, will you come sit with me a minute?" Evangeline urged gently. She walked over and peeled Susette off of Ox and Ox simply stood there feeling as if his entire world had just been slid right out from under his feet.

Miss Kate was dead? Ox had known she'd been upset and that's why she had left. It had broken his heart to hear her call him simpleminded and act as if what they'd shared at meant nothing but Colt had had a long talk with Ox only a few hours before. The other man had made Ox see things more clear and realize that Katherine hadn't meant what she had said.

"I'm sure Katherine is just fine." Evangeline whispered soothingly as she held Susette and laid her free hand on Ox's arm. "Comanche went to find her and I'm sure they'll be back anytime and it'll be fine."

"No it won't. I saw it!" Susette exclaimed with fresh tears running down her cheeks.

Ox let out a choked sob but then froze when Comanche came riding into view. Time seemed to stand still as the Indian neared them.

Ox kept his eyes on the other man's face and when Comanche's eyes met his Ox knew. Without caring what anyone would think of him, Ox collapsed to his knees as he covered his face with his giant hands and his massive shoulders shook.

He felt tiny hands on his arms and quickly embraced Susette as the two of them let go of their pain together.