---- [Proof god is dead] ----

D: Can I back out of this?
W: No you signed a contract
D: Fuck. Explain

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B: Mock me at your peril, masked man.

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K: Why are there so many mammals with "crab-eating" in their common name? Crab-eating fox, crab-eating raccoon, crab-eating macaque, crab-eating mongoose, crabeater seal, etc. Do scientists just see them eating a crab one day and go "now THAT'S a name!" Why don't they do this with other common prey items. Why pick on crabs.
W: listen there's a lot of crabs out there and SOMEONE has to eat them all
C: And they need to hurry. More things are becoming crabs every day.
B: nature MAKES a crab, nature EATS a crab. it is the circle of life.

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T: Why're you so stressed man?
J: Cause we're gonna fucking die

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T: why's it called ADHD it should be called bees in my head there are bees in my head whenever I try to focus there are bees in my fucking head
T: wow guys great tweet I should use it to link one of my productions except I never actually finish anything because there are all these BEES in my fucking HEAD

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T: Roy
T: Roy
T: Roy
R: God. What?
T: Wally was walking backwards today while  we were training and he fell down a flight of stairs
R: that's not- that's not funny. He couldn've been really hurt... how many stairs

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R: Which one of you assholes wrote "get hard" on my car in chalk

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T: No I'm trying to make mochi and the rice isn't worKing
J: You used the wrong kind of rice- I told you you have to use sticky rice
T: What do you mEan I used- no! There's different types of rice???

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W: Jason really be telling me all about how he bullied his own boyfriend smh
J: You're not letting me finish. The story is funny, let me finish
W: No please, continue, continue
J: so I shove him into the wall, right? And the picture-frame falls off and hits his head-

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D: I didn't shovel enough driveways as a kid so I didn't build enough character and that's why I am the way I am
R: I've never had to mow a lawn and you can tell

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D: The most insane thing happened today
C: What?
D: Respect my privacy

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W: AHHH WHERE'S TIM?
D: what makes you think I know?!?
W: I don't knOw who kNOWS if you put a tracker on him or something
D: Actually I did, one-sec bossman

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C: Sometimes I really wanna light something on fire
J: Yeah, but something small
C: Mhmm. Like a child

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J: Dickie: I need a copy of to kill a mockingbird right fucking now
J: Bookkeeper: what's the hurry?
J: *giant winged shadow darkens the doorway*

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K: Have you ever walked into a room and gotten the vibe everyone there would call you a slur?

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J: When I first met you, I thought you were childish and annoying
T: and?
J: and you are

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K: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemy's eyes!!

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B: Aliens are actually the least of our worries at all times but listen to me. We've known for years aliens more or less don't want to hurt us and that it's possible for them to co-exist peacefully in a multi-terrestrial society but the government continues to try and convince us otherwise. If it wasn't for key figures like Superman, they'd have convinced most of the population that the aliens are bad and incite worldwide panic and start a real space war to avoid advancing technology for the general public, as opposed to the alt-right anti-alien movements that support them now. They avoid advancing technology because efficient non-oil-based energy that alien societies have will crush capitalist industries that need it to thrive. This is because capitalism is fundamentally unethical, unnatural, the enemy of human innovation, and short-term to the point a more intelligent society wouldn't see the point in maintaining such a system at all. We engaged on a level of politics that is minimal compared to the actual future impacts. In this essay, I will-

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W: i cant play horror games man fuck what if i turn the corner and see a thing or something

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D: the funny thing about the whole "no one wants to work" trend is that this is, hypothetically, how wages are supposed to go up naturally under capitalism. When wages are too low, workers refuse to work, so businesses raise their wages. The problem is that American companies are so used to paying people scraps and so far removed from the idea of workers having any kind of power or demanding some degree of dignity that they're just completely dumbfounded by this. When everyone refuses to work, their first instinct isn't "oh, our wages are too low" it's to post signs complaining about kids these days and begging people to pwease pwease come back to work I pwomise you won't get a viwus whiwe being yewwed at by a woman who compwains they made hew food wrong and demands a comped dessewt befowe leaving you a $2 tip

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D: i'm a moderate, peaceful man
W: you threw a chair at that guy the other day
D: yes, which was moderate and peaceful compared to the table i was going to throw at him

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J: how long has it been since either of you slept?
K: Three or four
J: Three or four what
T: Three or four

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R: Apologies, now
D: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--
R: What the fuck
T: whbfjebtntbg it's remorse code
R: Hm. I am angrier now.

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C: If it makes you feel better, I got lots of pictures of those beavers.
D: That does make me feel better thank you

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T: you don't need perfect people to make a perfect team. you need people whose flaws feed into each other. it's....
T: what do you call it
B: Codependency
T: synergy

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