Madeline often told people her mother died alone in the gutters outside some club. That was a lie. Madeline was just coming home from cheer practice when she found her mother rummaging through her drawers. She had said she was looking for paper but Madeline knew her mother was looking for money. She had been cut off and all her accounts had been drained into daily drug fiestas. However, Nora, Oliver and Spencer were coming over and she couldn't risk them seeing her mother. It was too embarrassing. So she handed her desperate mother a fifty dollar bill and begged her to not come back for the next few hours. And Valentina did exactly that. She never stepped back into the house again. Instead, Jamal had rushed in while tween Madeline was in the middle of a game of truth or dare with her friends and told her that her mother was dead. It was Madeline's fault. Or at least that's what she grew to believe.

  So maybe this was karma. Maybe she deserved this. Maybe this was god's way of punishing her for destroying the lives of everyone around her.

  "Eighteen year old female, found after car accident on highway, suspected to be under the influence. Internal bleeding, second degree burns on right leg and four inch laceration on head...."

She could hear the doctors scurrying around listing out everything she did to herself, everything she deserved, every reason she should have been dead.

"Oh my God. Madeline. I-I know her," A male's voice shouted. "What happened?!"

"Sir, I'm going to need you to step away so that the doctors can help her."

"Wait! I'm Oliver Scott. I'm her friend. Please, tell me what happened!"

"Sir-sir...."

The rest of the conversation faded out in Madeline's mind. Their voices slowly disintegrated to nothing, to mere white noise.

♛ ♛ ♛

"Is she going to be okay?"

"We're trying the best we can, sir."

"I'm her father, I should have been there for her."

"I can assure you, sir, that this is no one's fault."

"Honey, please get some rest."

"How can I get some rest, Priya, when my little girl is dying."

"She's not dying-"

"No one knows!"

♛ ♛ ♛

"Yo, Madeline. It's, uh, Dustin. Just coming to check up on you.... Listen, there really is no need to tell people who your supplier is. I don't think they need to know. Just say you forgot or something! Okay, yeah, that's all. Get well soon....."

♛ ♛ ♛

"Madeline, I don't know if you can hear me. I only found out today. I-I hate you for doing this to yourself-"

"Spencer!"

"What? It's true, Charlie. I hate her because she doesn't realise how much we need her. She keeps acting irresponsibly and I hate her for that. I hate that you don't love me back. Madeline, my heart hurts so much. I love you."

"Right, let's go lover boy, we've got to pick up your father from the airport."

  "Our father."

"Whatever. You coming?"

  "No, I think I'm just going to stay here for a while."

♛ ♛ ♛

"What are you doing here?"

"Just about to leave."

"Wait. No. Shit, stop. I'll just come back later, Spencer."

"....Are you and Madeline still together?"

"Um, no. Are you two..."

"No, no. I feel like shit because the last time I spoke to her we had this big fight. It's really made me realise something-"

"You and your epiphanies-"

"I'm serious, Oliver. I've realised that life is too short for these scrabbles. I should have realised this after Ellie's death and I should have never gotten angry at you. I'm sorry, Oliver."

"No, Spence, it's my fault."

"Let's just forget it all, okay?"

"Brothers?"

"For life.... Are you staying with Madeline?"

"I was going to. But I'm too angry at her."

"What? Why?"

"Doesn't matter. Let's go get some food, Spence."

♛ ♛ ♛

"Hey Madeline. Um, it's Nora. I... don't know what to say."

She sat down beside Madeline's body before continuing. "I was in the hospital. Some asshole roofied me. I'm okay though. Oliver told me you found out about us. I'm sorry I lied to you. I... oh god I'm crying. I'm just so sorry, Madeline. I... shit! Doctors, somebody help quick! Her monito-"

  "We're going to need you to step out ma'am."

  "Oh god. I-I'm so sorry Madeline."

♛ ♛ ♛

  Madeline's eyes fluttered open, almost immediately shutting because of the harsh white lights.

  "Maddie? Thank god you're awake!"

  A blurry blob hovered over her and Madeline's eyes took a while to adjust and sharpen Nora's face. Almost immediately, Nora's arms wrapped tightly around her, causing her to wince in pain.

  "Shit. Sorry! How do you feel Maddie?"

  Madeline felt groggy and dizzy. She tried to sit up straight but a sharp pain in her side prevented her from doing so. "W-what happened?"

  "You were driving. You missed a red light and..."

"Oh....Why are you here? How can you stand me after what I did to you?"

Nora peered curiously at Madeline before retracting her hand from Madeline's. "What did you do to me?"

Madeline's eyes landed on the group of doctors hurrying in.

"Madeline, what did you do?"

Nora's stare didn't waver, even as the doctors moved her away.

As she stood behind the door, Madeline could see her shake her head in confusion. "What did you do, Madeline?"

Madeline forced herself to look away as tears threatened to escape from her tired eyes.

♛ ♛ ♛

"Hey."

Madeline looked up from her phone to find Spencer standing by the door. He seemed hesitant to come any closer.

She scrambled to sit up, despite the sharp pain from her ribs. "Spence. I'm so sorry. I-"

"Why are you apologising to me?" He asked, his voice unwaveringly calm. "Madeline, look what you have done to yourself."

Madeline unconsciously looked at the cast on her arm and the bruises scattered all over her legs.

"Dustin told me you've been buying from him. You should have seem him. He was going out of his mind, saying something about getting busted. I think he was scared you would rat him out."

Madeline remained silent, quietly and quickly filling with self-loathing. She really hated herself. She hated what she had become. She hated how sick and exhausted she looked all the time and how, at one stage, she had wanted nothing but pain in her friends' lives.

Much to Madeline's surprise, Spencer took a seat beside her. "You always hated when Oliver did cocaine. What made you start?"

Madeline look down at her burnt hands. She picked at the bandages around her right fist. "It doesn't matter. What does matter is that I'm a bad person. Spencer, I did something really bad. I hurt Nora-"

Spencer's hand reached out to hold hers. "You could tell me. Or, you can try and make reparations with Nora. It doesn't take an idiot to put two and two together. I'm guessing you had something to do with why Nora was in the hospital."

Madeline looked down again, silently confirming his suspicion for him.

Spencer sighed. "You know that wasn't you though, right? You were high on like ten different things-"

"No," Madeline cried. "You don't understand. It was me! I'm a terrible person! I hurt you, I hurt Oliver, I hurt my dad, I hurt Nora. I hurt everyone, Spence. It's become my niche." She dabbed furiously at her wet cheeks with her rough blanket.

  "I think you're forgetting that you've been hurt so many times as well. Maybe your reactions were too extreme but they didn't just come out of nowhere. Now, we've all just got to heal. That begins with being honest with Nora."

Madeline nodded, still avoiding eye contact. She was too ashamed.

"Ellie went to rehab. I know we used to always joke about celebs going to rehab but I finally get it. And, I know you don't want to talk about it but this addiction won't go away on its own. Please just consider it."

  She was about to deny she had an addiction but suddenly stopped herself. Who would she be lying to? She nodded weakly before latching on to Spencer and soaking his shoulder with her tears. Even she was surprised at her sudden reaction. He gently patted her back as she cried, letting out all the pain in her. Madeline was a victim as well. Spencer was right; she needed to heal if she ever wanted to move on.

  "Maddie?"

  "Hm?"

  "I love you."

  She squeezed him tighter. "I love you too."

♛♛♛

Hello my darling angels.

I'm not happy with this chapter. The first few scenes were mainly dialogue to convey what Madeline could hear while she was unconscious. I purposefully left in very little detail and jumped from scene to scene. However, I don't think it worked well and I'm not happy! I'll probably change it when I'm editing.

If it's not clear basically Oliver was in the hospital already with Nora when he found Madeline's body being brought in. When her father was there, they were unsure if she was found to survive. However, by the time Spencer came she was stable enough hence why they're not planning a funeral! Also, this is meant to represent Madeline slipping in and out of consciousness!

Not gonna lie, Icarus_Falls  inspired the name for this chapter!

Tell me your reactions! Are you happy, sad, satisfied or angry? Would you have liked to see anything different? Feel free to share your opinions!

Love,
-hexed
xoxo