Day Four: Healthy Cheer

Dull pain. Barely noticeable compared to what it had been, but present all the same. Like every bone had been overstretched. Like scales had been ripped through. Like every muscle had been torn. Limbs were grotesque, where bones had grown larger than the skin that held them and had broken through, shining a harsh white, while muscles and blood vessels crept their way up to try and catch up to them. Splotches of scales throughout the skin, dull yellow. One eye wasn't working at all anymore, but the other could see vague shapes and bright areas, even if things seemed strangely purpler than before.

"I've got some bad news for you." The voice of the angry woman came from nearby. An instinct tried to turn towards the sound, but the grating sensation in an unfamiliar neck stopped the motion. "You are going to make it."

It grew silent for a long moment while the angry woman let her words sink in.

"All of the failures died by this point – but you survived. Thank you for cooperating; I would have hated to have you die on me and escape the rest of what I have planned. As your reward for good behavior, you get to look forward to a new life ahead of you as a dumb beast. Your muscles and bones still have a lot to work out, but your new organs are handling the load of keeping you alive faster than your old organs are deteriorating. And speaking of new organs and withering old ones, here's the best part – the surprise I've been so eager to share with you."

There was a shuffling sound, as if the angry woman was sitting down on the floor. Probably getting closer, probably looking to gloat. "You see, for everybody else, this has all been about 'justice'." The word was spoken with a mocking tone, as if the idea was foolish. "Just about putting an end to your crimes. Making sure nobody else got hurt, and that we could all go back to our lives safe in the knowledge you wouldn't kill anyone else.

"And the plan is to do just that. To make sure you can never be responsible for the death of another person. When this process is finished and a subject leaves here, the procedure is for their claws to be trimmed down. For their horns and the spikes on their tail to be filed to nubs. To make them incapable of harming anyone. No more opportunity to kill. No more opportunity to rape. Supervised constantly, kept in a cage, allowed no freedoms. A test subject for us to learn more about dragons from, kept alive to satisfy our curiosity, and nothing more."

Silence fell for a few seconds before the angry woman continued in a voice so cold that it dulled some of the burning pain.

"But that isn't enough for me."

She was quiet for another moment, before she continued with renewed anger in her voice. "I want revenge. I want you to suffer for what you did to my sister. To your other victims. I want whatever piece of you that survives this place to pay. And simply stopping you doesn't give me that. As right as it is to reduce you to a stupid beast herded around and kept contained... that's still not enough. You deserve much, much more than that.

"You deserve to go through what you put my sister through."

There was silence again. It stretched out, to the point it seemed the angry woman might have left... but she finally spoke again, this time in a quieter voice.

"The pain you feel is part of my revenge. The scars you left my sister, the bruises, the broken bones. The agony you feel now is payback for those things. But we both know that wasn't all you did."

A slow, shaky inhale, as if the angry woman had started trembling in anger. "So I asked the board for approval to begin the next phase of our project with you. It wasn't easy to find a fossil with the necessary DNA – for some reason most of the ones I was looking for died in caves, instead of outside where the lava of the volcano could preserve them, and they all decayed away. But we found one that was preserved enough to have what we needed. Three, actually, but I only needed one for you. And it took a lot of work to convince everybody we were ready. Reintroducing a species is something to be done carefully, especially when we know so little about it."

Another derisive snort came from the speaker. "As if we would ever learn more without experimenting. We have seven surviving specimens so far. We've learned as much as we can from that stage of the project. As much as we can about how dragon bodies work, and about dragon habits, and about what it takes to keep a dragon alive. Or at least – about male dragon habits."

A new tone entered the angry woman's voice, as if she had started smiling. "And that is why the DNA I selected for you was from one of the three female fossils we have recovered.

"That is my revenge. When you leave here – and you will; you will not escape by dying on me – you will have done to you what you did to my sister, and to so many others. You will be the one raped by monsters. There are seven of them out there waiting for you. And whatever part of you survives will spend the rest of its miserable life being raped by them, and impregnated, so we can learn how the beasts reproduced. So we can begin the process of reintroducing them to the island they used to live on."

There was a shuffling sound, as if the angry woman had stood up again, then the sound of footsteps.

"The board asked me to think up a name. I gave them a few suggestions I thought were fitting for your fate – 'Slut', 'Whore', that sort of thing – but they said I should be professional. That the first female dragon revived by this program would be mentioned in history books, maybe even books read by children, and that she should have a name appropriate for that. I thought for a while and finally came up with another one – one that reflects your new purpose in life, and what you will spend the rest of your life providing – and they accepted it. So allow me now to be the first to call you by your new name."

There was a distant click, and the light went out.

"Goodnight, Joy."

"Steffie... what does my name mean?"

Steffie looked up from the bowl of cereal she was eating on the other side of the table, and her expression changed to a concerned frown. "It means 'happiness', Joy. Because you're my friend, and you make me happy. And you make all the other people you meet happy, too. Why do you ask? Did you have another nightmare?"

I looked down at the slice of cake Steffie had set on the table for my breakfast, and tried to pick up the fork. This morning had been nice so far – I still felt very relaxed from last night's bath, and my headache was just barely a one – but the fading memory of the strange dream kept bugging me. It was scary, with the mean voice saying the mean things, and the memory of pain. I didn't really understand what all of the mean things she had said meant, but I didn't want them to be true.

Steffie's explanation was a lot more comforting. But... the dream still bothered me. And for some reason I didn't understand, I thought it would be a very bad idea to tell Steffie about it.

"No. Was just finking. You said a lot of words I didn't understand last night, and I was wondering wat the words meant. And then I wondered wat my name meant." I managed to pick the fork up in my hand, but it felt awkward, like I hadn't done it right. I tried to hold it between my claws and stabbed down at the cake, but the fork slipped in my grip and bumped against an empty part of the plate instead.

"Oh." I could tell Steffie was still frowning from the corner of my eye, until she forced herself to smile and picked her spoon back up. "Those words can be confusing; I don't always understand them either. That's why I'm going to school, so I can learn them."

I am lying to my best friend.

My tail shook at that thought, but I tried to hide it by clutching the fork tighter. I didn't want her to get suspicious or ask about the dream – I did not want to talk about that dream with Steffie, even if I didn't really understand why – so I tried to think of something unrelated to the dream I could ask as I stabbed down at the cake again – and missed it once more. "Um. What about your name? Does it mean anything?"

Steffie's forced smile suddenly felt more genuine as she chewed on and swallowed her spoonful of cereal. "You know... I'm not sure! I've never thought of it. I'll look it up later and let you know."

I am lying to my best friend.

"Tank ewe." I stabbed with the fork again in growing frustration... then I let out a growl as I once again missed the cake and scratched at the plate instead.

I stabbed the fork down again. And again, and again, and again, growling louder at the frustrating feeling of being completely unable to do something I had done over and over before, and which Steffie was easily doing right across the table from me, and which everybody else could do without even thinking about. The cake started to fall apart as the fork stabbed through it a few times, but I didn't even try to scoop it up.

"Joy! Joy, stop it." Steffie put her spoon down and looked at me. The frown was back, along with something else in her eyes. Worry.

I growled louder and flung the fork across the room, shaking my head. "No! I can't do it! Fowks are dumb! Dere for humans, and I'm a monst... a beast... I'm a dwagon!" The pressure became a throbbing in the back of my head as my headache skipped straight to a four, which only made me feel more miserable. "I should pick it up wif my hands; dat's how dwagons eat!"

"Joy." Steffie's voice was stern as she folded her hands on the table. "Count to ten."

"No!" I slashed at the air behind me with my tail and flung my head back and forth. "Don't want to!!"

"Joy, I understand that you are upset. And that's okay. It's okay to be upset when things are frustrating." Some of the sternness left Steffie's voice to be replaced with gentle calm. "But you are making a choice of how to behave while you are upset, and this behavior is not acceptable. You are better than this; I know you can make a better choice."

"I don't care! Choices are dumb, just like fowks and headaches and everyfing else!" I shook my head more, as if I could fling the growing headache out of me if I just moved my head fast enough.

"Joy." Steffie just continued to stare back at me. Her smile was gone, and the happy light that was usually in her eyes had faded to something sad while she waited.

She wasn't yelling. Wasn't angry. Was just waiting for me to calm down. Was staying calm herself because she knew that helped me when I was frustrated.

I had lied right to her face and tried to hide the dreams that she was always so concerned about from her, and she was just trying to help me.

I slumped down to all fours and curled my tail around to clutch it. The table blocked Steffie's view of me – and my view of her – but I closed my eyes anyways as I tried to hide out of sight. "One... two... free..."

The room was quiet while I counted through the numbers and tried to calm down. "Aid... nine... ten."

"Thank you, Joy." I heard Steffie's chair scrape against the rock floor as she stood up, and a moment later I felt her arms pulling me into a hug. "What's wrong, Joy?"

"Nofing." I kept my eyes squeezed shut and tried to keep the sniffle from escaping.

"Nothing. Joy, look at me."

I didn't want to, but I slowly opened my eyes. I looked up at Steffie's face for a few long seconds before turning away and looking down at the floor. I heard her sigh, then her hand came to rest just between my horns, where my head was starting to hurt worse. "Are you sure? No nightmares last night, nothing bothering you?"

A fragment of the dream came back to my memory, even though it was getting harder to remember it. You deserve to go through what you put my sister through.

"Am sure. Fowks are just dumb." I stared down at the floor as I lied to my friend again.

She squeezed me in the hug again. "Okay. And I know they are. But you need to learn to use them. You'll make a mess when you eat if you don't. Come on. Let's try again."

"Don't want any more cake." I clutched my tail tighter as I kept my head down.

Steffie just sighed again before letting go of me and standing up. "Just eat one more bite, then. For me?" She walked across the kitchen to pick up the fork, then put it back on the table. "Come on, Joy. You'll feel better when you get it. Please?"

I sulked through the headache for a few more seconds... then I finally let go of my tail and rose back to my hind legs. I ignored the growing pounding in my head and picked the fork up again, and this time it rested in between my claws in a way that felt better. I moved it over to the plate of mostly-smooshed cake and scooped up a piece.

One try had been all it took to get it.

I sulked more as I brought the fork up to my mouth. It was no trouble at all to get the food in my mouth, just like the many other times I could remember managing it. I chewed, then swallowed, and sat the fork back down on the table. "Can I go flying tewday?" I hesitated and tried to think through what else I should say. I didn't really feel like playing the balloon game, but... I wanted space.

It hurt to look at Steffie when I lied to her, and I didn't know what else to think about the dream. Maybe if I was just talking over the headset it wouldn't feel as bad.

"Of course you can, Joy. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I spoke with Dillian last night, after you went to bed, and they need our help with something. Something damaged some of their major pieces of equipment, and they are asking for your help in getting one down. They've fixed things so that we have television and phone service again, but they still want to get the damaged equipment back so they can figure out what happened to it." She hesitated a little as she looked back at me, and at the uneaten cake on my plate. "Do you feel up to it? It would be like the other day, with a long drive, and then flying around the blimp again."

My wings spread at my sides as I listened. That would be perfect – I could just fly along by myself for a while. I wouldn't have to think about strange dreams or have to lie to my friend again. I nodded quickly. "I would like dat."

"Okay." Steffie hesitated again, still looking back at the plate of cake. "Are you sure you don't want to eat any more?"

"I'm sure." I looked quickly away from the cake, until a thought occurred to me and I looked back at Steffie. "Oh! But we need to bring some wif us, for Dwillen and Fank."

Steffie smiled, another genuine smile that made me feel happy, and she nodded. "We will. And okay, you don't have to eat any more cake this morning. But I do need to give you your medicine. And I want to take your temperature again, too. Your head still feels warm this morning."

The happy feeling I had gotten from Steffie's smile vanished at the mention of medicine and temperature taking.

Steffie giggled at my flattened frills and gave me a pat on the head, then walked over to the cabinet with the medicine. I watched as she went through the familiar motions of pouring the awful purple stuff into a cup for me, then did my best to not taste any of it as I drank it down.

Yuck.

Steffie quickly passed me a piece of bread, and I slowly chewed on it to clean the taste of the medicine out of my mouth. She smiled while she watched me chew... then she stuck the thermometer in my ear.

So much for today starting off well.

The thermometer made its loud beep, and Steffie took it out of my ear. She looked at the display on it, then looked back towards my room. "Why don't you go lay down for a little bit while I finish eating and get everything cleaned up? I think you're a little cranky, and I know you don't want to be tired when you see Dillian and Frank again."

My wings sagged a little at my side, but Steffie was right. I wasn't really sleepy... but I was glad for the excuse to be alone. "'Kay."

I dropped to all fours and trudged back to my room, then sprawled out on my bed.

It was quiet for a few minutes, with only the faint sound of Steffie's spoon clinking against her bowl, and then of her moving around and cleaning dishes. I stared at the wall in silence and tried to remember more of the dream, even as the headache at the back of my head started to fade. I couldn't seem to remember much of it anymore. Just that I had been in a lot of pain, and that there had been a mean woman. A mean woman who had said mean things about my name. Mean things about me. Because... because I had done something terrible to someone...

The sound of whispering from the kitchen interrupted my attempt at remembering the strange dream. I looked away from the dark wall and crawled down from my bed to try and hear. Had one of the Arboretum workers come by, maybe, and started talking with Steffie?

"-know it's a long trip. I'm not asking you to come out here early, I just want you to recheck the blood samples." I paused near the bead curtain as I heard Steffie whispering. She was standing by the sink in the kitchen, facing away from me as she spoke in hushed tones into her phone. "She lied to me, Jean. Not her usual 'I'm embarrassed' type of lies where she tells me if I keep asking; this was different. Whatever she dreamed about last night has her upset. Bad. Something is wrong."

I slunk back into my room to make sure I was out of sight if Steffie turned around, staying just close enough that I could still make out the words.

"No, no. I already told CloudComm I would help them, and she seems fine physically. She was tired yesterday like you said she would be, but in the afternoon she was flying around and alert. And she seems even better in that sense today. She wants to go flying so there's no reason to back out of it. Some exercise will help distract her. But her temperature isn't coming down, and I can tell her headaches are getting worse. And that's on top of the clumsiness I already told you about, and the nightmares. The gland is failing, Jean."

Steffie went quiet, though I could hear the faint sound of somebody else talking back to her. Whoever it was on the phone, too quiet to hear. Then Steffie spoke again.

"I know the others' lasted for years. But they all got the booster shot; she didn't. We don't know what that means. Maybe hers was under more strain and wore out faster because of that, I don't know. But something is wrong."

More silence for another moment.

"Just recheck the blood samples, please. I'll call you tonight after we're done helping CloudComm."

I heard the sound of Steffie putting the phone down, and then it went quiet again.

I slumped down on the floor of my room and stared at the dark stone wall across from me. I didn't understand everything she had said, but I had understood enough.

My best friend was lying to me, too.

"Do you want to listen to some music?"

I looked away from the window. I didn't really feel like doing anything more than stare at the scenery while Steffie drove... but Steffie might appreciate it. And it might mean not having to talk about what was on my mind. Even if it was getting harder to remember details of the dream, or why it had bothered me so much. "Okay."

Steffie messed with a knob while she drove the van, and after a few adjustments a song started playing through the speakers. I didn't pay much attention to it – it was a song I recognized, but it was easier to just zone out and think of the different trees in the distance, and what sort of pretty flowers might be growing on them.

Then Steffie started to sing along with the music.

I stared out the window for a little longer before the happiness in her voice grew too much to ignore. Even though I wasn't sure what was going on, or why I kept having the strange dreams, or what they meant, or why Steffie seemed to know something about them that she wasn't telling me... she was still my best friend. It made me happy to hear she was happy.

I joined her in singing along with the music, too.