Trigger Warning 

"Happy 4th of July Phil!!" Dan says to me as I lie lie on my bed. I just turn my head towards him, since he is standing in the doorway. I smile lightly, "Thank you Dan." I turn back to my computer and continue scrolling through tumblr. There is a lot of different things dedicated to us. It warms my heart to know how many people take time out of their day to do these things for us.  

I can see Dan walking closer to me and he moves my laptop out of the way. I raise an eyebrow at him and he just leans in close to my face and pecks my lips and leans his forehead against mine, he looks into my eyes and I can feel my heart melt, I love his eyes. "What do you wanna do today?" He asks quietly. I shrug and lean my head back against the pillows and away from Dan's face. I just have been feeling weird lately. Less motivation and not really enjoying things.

I close my eyes and I feel Dan move on my bed and he lays his head on my chest. I hear his light breathing and I feel at peace. I think I have been more agitated lately also, so Dan and I can't really cuddle anymore because I keep being "salty" towards him. I don't know what my problem is, but I wanna fix it.

"Dan," I start off and open my eyes. Dan moves his head so he looks up at me. "I am sorry for my mood recently..." I trail off and look away from Dan. "Phil, it is okay. I just want to know what is wrong." I groan and look at Dan again, "That is just it Dan! I don't know what my problem is, okay? I am mad at myself for being such an ass to you. I hate it Dan, I don't have any motivation to do anything!" I sit up and Dan takes his head of my choice and I lean my head against the wall by my headboard. 

I hate myself more lately, but yet I am accepting myself too. My brain and heart is in constant battle and won't stop. My thoughts are saying that I am ugly but my heart is trying to love who I am. There is no winning. I am useless. I can't do this anymore.

"Phil? Phil?" 

I look up and see Dan looking at me with a concerned look plastered onto his face. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"I am fine"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. When am I never not fine?"

"I don't know..." Dan replies. "I just want to make sure you are okay. You mean the world to me Phil, I couldn't live with out you. We do everything together and I can never be away from you."

I smile and lean closer to him and I kiss his forehead. " I love you too Dan. Forever and always."

He smiles and closes his eyes for a second as I kiss his forehead. 

He lies down and I wrap my arm around him and soon I hear his soft even breaths as I stare up at the stealing contemplating my whole existence. I know that Existential crisis's are Dan's thing, but I get them too. If I was gone, there would only be on less human out of billions. It wouldn't put a dent in the population.

I make up my mind of what I am going to do and I slip out of bed carefully to not wake up Dan, he has been working very hard lately. I go to our bathroom and I start the water and plug the tub. I watch the water start filling up the tub. I turn it off when it gets semi-filled. I go in in my clothes and I sigh as the warm water surrounds my body. The clothes cling to me uncomfortably but I sigh in content at the warm feeling. 

I look around for the thing that will grant me freedom.  I find it, I take the razor from the side of the tub and look at it and I see my reflection in the blades. I take the blades out and I run them up my arms and I can feel the blood leaking out of my arms. The blood swirls in the bloody beautifully. It mixes and blends and look pretty, but death is gonna be prettier. I sigh with a smile on my face and lean my head back against the back of the tub.

My vision starts going when I hear somebody open the door and gasp. "Phil?!" I hear, but it sounds like someone is saying it down an tunnel. I feel arms on my shoulders and I open my eyes and see Dan with tears running down his face and sobs wrack his body. His eyes are red and his fringe is messy. He starts saying something but I can't hear him. "Dan," I croak out. He looks at me and breaks down again. "I love you. Please let me be free..." He cries harder and hugs me. He reaches over me and grabs something but I can't see what it is. I barely make out the blood that starts pouring from his arms. He leans against the tub close to be and grabs one of my hands as we bleed out together. 

"I love you too Phil." He breathes out. 

Dan closes his eyes and I try to concentrate on him, I want to tell him that he should move on and live without me, but I know we won't listen.

I use the last bit of strength and I whisper out as tears roll down my face, "We'll always be together Dan. I love you."

"I love you Phil, forever and always."

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! Sorry it is so gloomy. Thank you for reading and Happy 4th of July. And as always, I will see you in the next update!! Ba-byeeeee