D: Hey Phil

P: yes?

D: wanna play a game?

P: you sound like saw

D: you spork

D: do you want to though

P: sure

D: the game is called how the fuck do you change a diaper

P: Alex is a calm child, so just take the dirty diaper off, and throw it out, then put baby powder on the baby's butt and put another diaper on

D: why don't you do it

P: because I'm in a coffee shop

D: but you gave birth to the chiiiiild

P: oh well

P: do it

P: just

P: do it

D: oh my god you really are turning into me