P: Dan

D: Phil

*sent at the same time*

P: we need to talk

D: we need to talk

P: oh

P: you need to talk too?

D: oh god this is awkward..

P: um..

D: so I've been thinking about us..

P: me too..

D: I don't... I don't think this is gonna work out

P: me either

D: so..

P: are we breaking up with each other?

D: yeah..

P: okay

D: um... so.. divorce?

P: yeah

D: for real though?

P: yeah

D: it isn't about the cereal this time..

P: so.. I guess this is goodbye

D: yeah.

P: goodbye Dan

D: goodbye

jk lulz