It's like the world is crashing down. Around me. Every sound is a thousand times louder in my head. My head. It's weighing a hundred pounds. With the thoughts, the mess. My heart. It's throbbing, pounding against my chest. Am I crying? No. My eyes have dried out of tears. Not enough water in the body to come out of the eyes. My body is aching. Like its every atom is screaming for liberation. For peace. For solace. And maybe, for nothing. For everything to stop. To become still. In finding him, I lost myself. And I was happy. Happy to drown myself as the anchor to protect him. If that was the only way I could get him then why not? Maybe......maybe that's where I went wrong. So....I let him go. I let my ship go.

And in losing him, I found myself.

©Ishita 2017