Guys....
I don't even know anymore. Let me tell you a fact about me, I tried to slit my throat many years ago, I was about 6 or 7.

I'm telling you this because after so many years.....those same thought came back to me. My mum or any of my family members don't know that I tried to many years ago because they were all asleep. Same as tonight, my family was asleep and after so many years...so many....those thoughts came back to me, I saw the knife of the kitchen counter and once I picked it up, the thought came back.

Just chanting in my head to just end it.

Obviously I didn't listen and just put the knife into the sink but I'm just.....terrified.

I've always wondered why I was here.

Here's another fact about me, I nearly died at birth. I always thought that....God kept me alive to punish me, I don't know why.

I just feel like nothing.

I'm sorry if I'm bothering you about this, I just really wanted to get this of my chest for the first time. I've held it back for so many years.