I was a train-wreck. I had consistent nightmares about Harold. They all ended with something happening to Rafi. I talked this over with a therapist Liv recommended. He said that it was my mind worrying about those I love and that I wanted to protect them. He was right, but I still believed in all the psychic crap.

Rafi was extremely worried and frightened of what I had become. I wouldn't eat or sleep regularly. I would never leave the house because of fear. The world had turned into a big bad wolf, and I was content in my little brick house.

The day of the trial suddenly came. I knew it was coming, but it still hit me in the face.

"You have to come today, you are our only shot. Just stay calm, okay? You'll do fine. I love you," Rafi said.

"I don't want to move today," I grumbled.

"You don't want to move everyday," he tried to make me smile.

It worked. I turned to face him and I smiled.

"There's my girl," he kissed me.

"I have to get ready," I teased.

He groaned.

"You only have yourself to blame," I giggled, "And save those moans for later."

I heard a chuckle and closed the bathroom door.

I sighed, "Let's do this."

I completely straightened my hair and put on light makeup. My outfit was a simple white dress that had short sleeves and stopped at my knees. I put on a silver flower ring Rafi had gotten me and also a matching rose necklace.
I came out of the bathroom and put on a white blazer to match as well as some white flats.

On the elevator ride down Rafi held my hand tightly and whispered soothing words into my ear. I closed my eyes and leaned against the elevator. I then opened them to see streets and cars aswell as tons of people. The environment scared me, but I pressed forward.

Rafi kept a tight grip on my hand and lead me through the people. It had been so long that I forgot how to walk these streets. Rafi made it better. He was my wall, protecting me from all the danger around me.

The court room was filled when we arrived. I saw more people on my side than on Harold's side. I saw his mother, who he mentioned often in our chat on St. Patrick's Day. I didn't see his father and didn't expect to. His father walked out when he was just three. His girlfriend was there too. She lived in a homeless shelter with him.

I know a lot about him, I thought, He knows a lot about me too.

I barely payed attention to what was said before I had to go up there. I heard Rafael whisper I love you.

I love you so much Rafael, more than you'll ever know.

Rafi was up first,"Now, I understand that you know Mr. Stone, Y/n."

"That is correct," I responded, "Before this incident, I considered us friends."

"And what changed that?" he asked.

"Harold took pictures of me and stalked me," I replied.

"Without your knowledge?" he said.

"Yes," I sighed.

What the hell am I doing? Am I doing this right? Rafi seems annoyed. Do I need to be more convincing? No! I am telling the truth. What do I have to be worried about?

"Miss?" Rafi called out.

I snapped back to reality. I heard snickering in the court room.

"I'm sorry, I spaced out," I could feel my cheeks burning.

"It's fine, tell us how you learned about this information," he walked closer to me.

"Detective Carisi had told me about what happened. He handed me an envelope that had my name on it. Inside were a bunch of different photos of me. Photos that I did not know were taken," I explained.

"Good," he whispered and walked away.

Next up was the defense. I was so terrified. I heard stories about this lawyer. Rafael told me he was tough, but I was stronger.

"So, you were friends with my client?" the lawyer smirked.

"Yes," I said, not wanting to say anymore.

"You never thought for one second that my client had developed feelings for you?" he grinned.

Where was this coming from?

"Things weren't like that," I said, "He has a girlfriend."

"He does, but he said that you were very flirtatious and even stated that you did not care about his girlfriend," the lawyer kept coming at me.

I looked over at Rafi. I could tell that he was gritting his teeth and trying so hard not to choke Harold.

"That is not true. I felt pity for him and his situation, but I did not want things to go any further," I could feel the emotions boiling inside of me.

The lawyer raised his voice, "You invited him into your house on St. Patrick's Day! A holiday that is known for the large amount of alcohol consumed! You gave him wine and even had some yourself. Did you sleep with him?"

"No!" I tried to stay calm, "I did not."

"Really?" he asked again.

"Objection!" Rafi shouted.

"That is enough!" the judge slammed his hand down, "We will take a break now. Clark, get yourself together. Another move like that-"

I stopped listening and ran out of the room. Rafi and the squad followed after me. I wiped tears away from my eyes and tried to steady my breathing.

Liv came up next to me, "Shh. Calm down. You did absolutely fine. You held yourself together the best you could. That is great!"

I smiled and looked at Rafi. He was furious.

Fin tried to ease the tension, "I thought you were going to rip his head off in there Barba."

"Oh believe me I wanted to," he paced back and forth.

"I'll help you," Carisi added.

"Thanks guys, why did Clark say those things?" I asked.

"He has to, I'm sure he doesn't hate you and want to do this but it is what he is payed for. Clark delivers, that's why Harold hired him," Liv answered.

"How could he even afford him?" I wondered out loud.

"Clark is pretty slimy," Carisi said, "He's had rumors spread that he does it for free sometimes, just for fun."

"God that's sick," I felt another tear trickle down my face.

Rafi came up and hugged me, "We'll do this. We'll be fine. Clark will not be able to do that again. The judge will make sure of that."

"I hope so," I kissed him on the cheek.

"Barba's right Y/n," Fin rubbed my shoulder.

That's when it happened. I heard a gun shot and looked in front of me.

Carisi got hit.