~Part 2: An Impasse~
There's a thing that happens to you when you lose the person you were practically in love with. Your heart shatters, your legs grow weak, the world melts around you, and you close your eyes, hoping that when you open them again, everything will be okay.

But it doesn't work that way exactly.

The day I lost my ex-girlfriend Rosemary was the day I practically died. There was no more happiness in my life for a very long time. Tammy and Eric also shared the pain of her loss, especially Tammy since Rosemary was practically her sister. But no matter what, there was a bullet in my chest that refused to come out.

No one knows exactly what happened to Rosemary. One day she was here, the next day she was gone. No note or letter saying where, nobody knowing whether she was dead or alive... She just dropped off the face of the Earth and I was starting to think someone kidnapped her in the middle of the night, tortured her, and killed her. Maybe even raped her.

I didn't want to think about those things happening to my girlfriend... Ex-girlfriend, but... The truth about this world is it's sick and there was a large amount of possibilities of what could've happened to her.

***

I kissed the top of Emma's head lightly and gave her my signature sad smile. It's been noticed by Tammy and Eric that I always had a sad smile. It's hard to get over the imprint that Rosemary left on my heart, but I would have to do it for Emma's sake.

Emma and I first met through friends. We talked a lot when our group of friends hung out together and one thing led to another. We fell in love with each other, we just never admitted it. I'm sure she was expecting me to tell her, and to be honest, I really did want to tell her. But something held me back.

What if Rosemary magically came back? What then? Now there was definitely not a high chance of that happening, but if it did, what then? I never truly let go of her.

"What should we do today?" she asked, kissing me softly. I smiled and leaned into the kiss, pulling her closer to me.

"No no, none of that," she said, and pushed me away. I sighed, and said, "All right, how about we go to the park?"

"But Tammy and Eric usually hangout there, and I want you all to myself," she pouted. I chuckled and then pushed her down into my bed. She let out a slight squeal and I got on top of her, kissing her. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down closer. I didn't exactly know where I wanted this to go. Each time I kissed her and got intimate, I always had a feeling of guilt with me, as if I was doing something wrong.

"Let's go to the park," I suggested again, pulling away from her. She gave a slight pouty face, then nodded. I got off of her, and pulled her up with me. I froze for a moment, looking at the place where I sat once, reciting a poem for Rosemary in French. I never told Emma that I spoke French. I reserved that knowledge to Rosemary and only Rosemary.

My heart wrenched in my chest, and I suddenly didn't want to hangout anymore. I fell back onto the bed and took in a deep breath, closing my eyes.

"You okay, hun?" Emma asked me.

"No," I said. "I really need some time to... Think."

"Is this about Rosemary again?" she asked, sighing.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," I said.

"God, I swear Brian, when will you get over her?" she snapped. I frowned at her, frustrated.

"It's not as easy as you think; I just need some time," I said. "It's only been a year."

She sighed and nodded, leaving without saying another word.

***

"I really don't think she's good for you man," Eric said, frowning. He and Tammy sat across from me in the park, scolding me about Emma. They saw something in her that I didn't see.

"What the hell is so wrong with her?" I growled.

"She's not understanding at all, is one thing," Eric said.

"And she likes to keep you from us because she never got along with us," Tammy snapped. "Which is horrible."

"She could never keep me from you guys; you're my best friends," I said. They looked at each other and frowned. I got a call on my phone and saw that it was Emma. I picked up and held up my finger to them signaling that I needed a minute.

"Hey babe. What's up?" I asked.

"Where are you? I miss you," she said. "I'm honestly sorry that I walked out; I just felt slightly jealous that you still had feelings for another girl."

"Thank you," I said, feeling happy that she apologized. "We're at the park."

"We're?"

"Eric, Tammy, and I."

"Okay well, say goodbye to them because you're coming with me," she said, with a slight hint of venom in her voice.

"I think we might need to talk about how you view my friends," I said, kind of annoyed.

"See you at my house in a few." She then hung up, and I sighed.

"Oh, let me guess, mega b***h is being, well, a b***h?" Eric asked.

"Don't talk about my girlfriend in that way," I snapped, and stood up, storming away from them. I got into my car and drove to her house.

"Hey, we need to talk," I said to her, when I got out of my car and she let me inside.

"Talk about what?" she purred, taking my sweater off.

"About the way that you're acting towards my friends," I said, as she started walking towards her room.

"Mhm, I'm all ears," she said, opening her room door.

"Well, first--" she cut me off in a heated kiss. She shoved me down on her bed and straddled me. I felt my body starting to react, and I knew what she was doing. She was trying to get out of the heat that she probably felt under because she knew how annoying she was being.

I knew she'd get angry if I pushed her away, yet I didn't want to be a pushover. I was trying to think rationally, however my body quickly took over my mind. I flipped over so that I was on top, and continued to kiss her, about to deepen the kiss when her phone rang.

"One second," she smiled sweetly and triumphantly. I nodded as she picked it up, and frowned when I saw her caller ID. It was her ex. Why was she being so secretive about that?

"I told you, NO," she snapped. "I'm happy with my new boyfriend. Now stop talking to me." She went to the bathroom, still arguing on the phone. I wanted to pick up the phone and yell at the guy, but there was something telling me that there was something up. He obviously kept calling her for a reason. And then she was being secretive and going to the bathroom.

I sighed and stood, deciding that it was time for me to leave. She's always been wanting to take it to the next level with me, and I was not so sure I wanted that. I may be a p***y for not wanting to just screw a girl, and get it over with, but I really wanted to wait for that one girl, and I wasn't sure she was the one. Don't get me wrong, I was in love with her, but something in the back of my mind made me feel like this really wasn't going to last.