Who was I to chose? I was still in love with Emma, no matter how much she hurt me. She was with me through my struggle to cope with the loss of Rosemary. I feel like the reason why she turned into a "mega-b***h" was because of my incompetence towards being the best boyfriend I could be.

I remember when we first met, and how we started dating. She always supported me through the whole thing.

"I know you're going through a hard time, Brian," Emma says to me. We're sitting in the park, away from Tammy and Eric because she wanted to talk to me privately.

"I'm trying, I promise," I say, helplessly. "I'm honestly going to get through this. You deserve the best. And that's what I want to give to you."

"Yes, I know," she replies. "Don't worry about that. I want you to focus on yourself. I'm always going to be here for you. I know you're having a tough time with your loss of your ex, so just know that I'm really going to stay here and wait until you're really here to open up to me."

I feel myself smiling, not my sad smile, my actual genuine smile. It feels good to smile like that again. She smiles back at me and pecks my lips. I really think that after 6 months of feeling like my life was over, that I'd be able to rebound to my happiness. She makes me happy and I really think that she may be able to fix my broken heart.

Four months. It took four months for our relationship to deteriorate after it had been so strong before. What had happened? What caused everything to break down? She seemed to change and slowly grow develop more and more hatred and manipulative ways towards me. She wanted to make my life miserable, and I never left her because I blamed myself for her change. But looking back on it, was it really me?

The phone. Ever since her ex started calling and texting her and/or harassing her, she changed. Maybe she was angry that I wasn't acting like a night in shiny armor and didn't stop the harassment. But there wasn't anything I could really do. Threaten him? Get into a fight?

I was staring at Rosemary now, my previous comment about not wanting to hurt anyone floating in the air. Rosemary shifted but still seemed to be asleep. But I knew better.

"Rosemary," I said. "I know you're awake."

"Leave me alone," she groaned.

"Can't you just talk to me?" I asked.

"I don't want to right now," she said, her voice sounding unstable. "You seem like you have enough on your plate, anyways."

"Do I?" I asked. I frowned and then reached over to her, pulling her up and her hands away from her face before she could even realize what was happening. There were tears on her cheeks and I automatically knew that she heard the phone call I had with Emma.

"Rosemary, I really love Emma," I said, slowly. "But I--"

"What are you talking about?" she asked, giving a fake smile. "Why are we talking about Emma? I was just feeling sad about some other things in my life."

"Rosemary, I love Emma," I said, ignoring what she was saying. "But I really want to be with you. I'm just so worried about hurting one of you guys, and putting myself in pain, too." She said nothing, and frowned. We then stopped at a station and she stood up.

"I'm starting to think this was a bad idea," she said, "us sharing a train car. It's only making things harder for us. I'll try to see if there is another room." I pulled her down back into her seat, and I held her hands in mine.

"Brian, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Rosemary, what will make you happy?" I asked. "I just want you to be happy. I care about your feelings more than I care about Emma's feelings, because Emma hurt me intentionally. What would you like? Do you want us to be friends? More than friends? Meer acquaintances? What do you want us to be?" She stared into my eyes. And like always, that made my heart melt.

"It's way more complicated than that, isn't it?" she asked, pulling our hands away from each other.

"We can end the complication now," I said. "You can help me chose. And the obvious choice isn't Emma. She will most likely hurt me. I may have been in love with her, but that's already starting to fade away into hate. She's manipulative and mean. I want to know what will make you happy, not her happy."

"I don't think you need to be in a relationship right now," she said, being honest.

"Why not?" I questioned.

"You keep jumping from relationship to relationship," she said. "It's unhealthy."

"No," I said, making her raise her eyebrows. "I'm no longer jumping. I know who I want to be with." I watched as a blush covered her face. I gave a proud smile. I took her hand, intertwining our fingers and she looked down, still blushing.

"What about Emma?" she asked. "You said about it was about 70% yes towards her."

"I did, didn't I?" I asked, and then removed my hands from hers, reluctantly. "I suppose I should tell her the answer is no before I start a relationship with you, right?" Rosemary nodded. I grabbed my phone and clicked Emma's name. She picked up a few seconds later.

"Emma, we're not going to work out," I said, cutting to the chase immediately.

"No, please!" she said, begging him. "I really am so sorry!"

"Emma, please, you're making this so much harder for me," I said, feeling horrible for her.

"I'll kill myself if you don't get with me!" she sobbed. "I'll really kill myself!"

"Emma, please--"

"I have my father's gun! I'll kill Rosemary and myself! It's all Rosemary's fault! I'll kill her and me!" she said, sobbing. I don't think the threat to Rosemary was really real, but I wasn't too sure about the threat about herself. She seemed lower than ever, and I really couldn't have her killing herself. It'd be my fault.

"Okay, shush, don't cry, we'll talk about it when I get home," I said to her, soothingly.

"So you won't get with anyone else, right? Not even Rosemary?" she asked. There was something in her voice that made me hesitant to answer. Does she feel like she has some control over me or something?

"We'll see," I said. I then hung up and sighed, glancing at Rosemary. She shook her head.

"Let me guess: you're stuck with her?" she asked.

"She threatened to kill herself and you," I said, kind of uncomfortably. "She has access to her father's gun." Rosemary's eyes darkened.

"Let her try to kill me," she growled. "I'll kill her myself."

"Don't stoop down to her level," I replied. "We're not together. But I do think that if I don't get with her, she will kill herself."

"So this is it, I guess," Rosemary said. "We'll never be together again."

"No!" I protested. I grabbed her into my arms, and kissed her passionately. She was trying to pull away but she gave into me. I pulled her closer to me, our bodies warming each other up. I was about to deepen the kiss when someone knocked on our door. I pulled away, and we both looked at each other. She was blushing.

"Who?" I asked.

"We're going around to take your order for food later in the dining car," a voice on the other side of the door said. I opened it and the woman gave offers of food and beverages. Rosemary and I ordered and then sat in silence for a moment.

"Don't give up on me," I whispered. "I want to be with you more than anything. I just need to get things sorted. My hate for Emma is growing. I don't want to hate her, because that's an ugly feeling, but it's the only way to get out of my love for her." Rosemary nodded.

"I'll wait a little while," she said. "But I'm not going to wait on you forever."