I'm in school now. Biology class to be exact. My lab partner is the hottest girl to ever have graced the soil of the earth. And no she's not Jenny. As the famous saying goes, "the moment you crush your crush's insides is the moment you crush your feelings for her". I did a lot more than just crushing her insides. Remember the Ferrari, it did most of the work. All i did was roll out the way.

Hera, my lab partner, was the most hottest girl to ever have graced the earth's soil. And i have proof. I reach into her bag pulling out a giant colouring book with the words 'PROPERTY OF THE HOTTEST GIRL TO EVER HAVE GRACED THE EARTH'S SOIL". There is was. Page upon page of hardcore evidence. Oooops Mr. Henry walked into the class. As usual he was quoting some imaginary scientist that died before the first dinosaurs had time to reproduce.
'...And so class i quote him directly when i say, "Good Morning Students".' I know right. What an absolute dweeb. The textbook said Good Evening but he was always twisting things. Just ask the lunch lady's poor nip-.

Sadly today's topics wasn't Reproduction. Rather unfortunate because i had enjoyed the practical session last week. Today we were studying Mosquito Pregnancy and Related World Disasters. I wasn't interested. I rested my face in Hera's lap. I'd date her but firstly she wasn't Jenny and secondly she was taken. Apparently some Zeus dude was her boyfriend and he was Thor's distant cousin removed a couple of times so I could not compete. On the bright side anger put me to sleep faster than Mr. Henry.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
This was the sound I woke up to.

And no it was not the bell. Stop being stereotypical and judging things by how they sound. That's equivalent to racism. Shakes my head so bad my neck bones twerk as they break. Ignoramus.

That however was Principal Winnie. Her stomach was growling into the speakers again.
"Michael Codswallop report to the principal's kitchen right now." Vice principal Tigger's voice came through the speakers.

Lifting my head from Hera's laps i realised I was horny. Oh shit. I mean it. For further enquiries contact the shiny silver sharp protrusion on my forehead. The most obvious substitute to male erections. Couple that to the constant wagging of my tail i didn't mention earlier. I needed a head. My life was a shitty coin toss.

On my way I walk pass the receptionist, Piglet. Her pink and black stripes are more pronounced than ever. Is that a baby bump i see? Eeyore must have forgotten to use a condom or maybe it was Christopher Robin. You never know.

Oooops. Stepped on a crack. Sorry mama. Your poor back.

I Finally​ walk into Winnie's kitchen. She's there by the bee hive honey dripping from her lips. There's a bee right in front her, naked with its legs spread wide. Honey dripping from it.

She's​ shouting at me now. She's boring. I grab a pen and paper from her stack. It's time to doodle.