(So many flashbacks...)

"Take away my sin, and I will be clean. Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." -Psalms 51:7

Chapter 18 

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"Ummm, B," I told Aspen laying beside him on the bed. He chuckled drawing an arm. "Seriously! I'm pretty sure there's a B in there!" I laughed rolling on my stomach. Aspen laughed as well.

"I'm telling you Amanda. There is no B in anywhere in this!" He continued to laugh.

Right now we're playing hang man and it's a tied game.

If I win this match I win our game and it was getting pretty intense.

"Omg...umm..an R?" I asked. Aspen closed his mouth to where I couldn't see his lips and only wrote down one.

"Seriously! Only one?!" I asked having to laugh. He laughed too. "You have to be cheating!"

"I'm not cheating! You got this! Think about it!" He told me.  I sighed pretending to be upset and I stared at the paper with two spaces and fifthteen blanks.

"Okay...did I say H?" I asked stalling. Aspen laughed.

"Yess Amanda, you said H."

"Okay, okay, what about M?" Aspen laughed almost as if he wanted to cry from doing it so hard and he drew another arm as I had two more chances left. "Omg!!" I screamed. He kept laughing. "What is itttt!?"

"You know this Amanda! I say this like everyday!" Aspen gave me a hint. I shook my head. "Guess another vowel." I looked at the paper.

"E?" I asked.

"Yess," he wrote down two. I stared at it some more and I felt like I had my answer, but I had to make sure.

"A P??" I asked next. He smiled a little and I busted out laughing sitting on my knees. "Wait, does that say, 'PANCAKES ARE LIFE'??" Suddenly Aspen busted out laughing writing it all out and I rolled over my back holding my stomach. "Omg! I can't believe you wrote that!!" I said behind chuckles.

"Finally you got it! I was starting to think you'd never get it," he told me laughing as well.

"Whatever. I got it and I WON. So HA! In your face!" I pointed at him still laying on my back.

"With my hint," he reminded me.

"No one told you to give me a hint," I replied with a smile. "Amanda won. Fair and square." He laughed.

"Yeah suuure," he eased. I hit his arm.

"Shut up," I told him with playful squinted eyes.

Aspen and I stared at each other and I got up getting off the bed walking over to the window to see out it as it was still slightly raining and it was actually quit peaceful as I did. I crossed my arms and I looked down to see the wet puddles and it reminded me of Kelly and I one rainy day in the Spring.

~

"Mommy it's raining! Wanna play in the rain?" I asked Kelly while I was jumping looking out the window. She was sitting on the couch reading a book.

"Well I don't see why not... Let's do it," she said sweetly.

"Yay!" I cheered running for the door.

"Wait! We have to put on our rainy clothes!" she told me quickly. I gasped.

"I almost forgot! We gotta hurry!!" I told her grabbing her arm.

~

Aspen joined along side me which somewhat interrupted my memory.

"Peaceful rain isn't it?" he asked me. I nodded looking at him as he stood beside me and back out the window.

"Yup...it's nice..." I nodded biting my bottom lip.

~

I raced to put my jacket on and my rain boots that had rainbow dots on them that I loved, and my typical yellow rain coat just like Kelly's.

"Umbrella's?" Kelly asked me. I nodded running for the closet.

"Of course!" I replied. I grabbed my pink with white polka dotted umbrella and hers. A classic beach ball looking one.

"Thank you Amanda," she thanked me.

"No problem Mommy," I smiled at her.

~

"Do you like rain?" Aspen asked me. I shrugged.

"Eh...depends. I was always afraid of thunder storms at night. No matter how old I get or how severe it really was. I'll forever be afraid," I told him truthfully. He chuckled.

"How so?"

~

I'm with my real parents not knowing we were driving to the orphanage.

I was in the car in the booster seat and I was terrified of the lightning and the harsh rain hitting the window and my parents were driving abnormally fast for weather like this and I asked,

"Mommy, Daddy, where are we going?" My mom looked back at me. I destictively remember her crystal blue eyes I didn't have, but the beach blonde hair that I had that was thin and sat on sat right on her chest.

"Don't worry Amanda," she told me sweetly. "You have to go to daycare," she told me. I was confused.

"But why can't we just go back home?" I asked innocently. "I'm scared."

"There's nothing to be afraid of," my Dad told me in the rearview mirror. "It's just a little rain." Suddenly a huge lightening strike landed right beside the car and the thunder rolled from under us.

"But Daddy I don't want to go," I told him almost in sobs. "I want to stay with you guys."

"You can't stay with us Amanda. We'll be back sometime soon though," my mom said kind of firmly now that I look back on it. I was so confused.

"Soon? What do you mean?" I asked looking at them with folded eyebrows.

"Amanda. Please be quiet. You're going, but we'll be back," my father ordered with angry eyes I saw through the mirror. I slowly laid back in my seat, and looked down staying quiet the rest of the ride...

When we made it, they rushed me out the car and took me to the door of the orphanage and a woman met us before we could knock and she looked disappointed.

"This is not good for young couples...especially for her," the woman told my parents. I didn't understand. "You should be ashamed." My parents just looked away sad, and when my mother saw me looking up at her, soaking wet, she bent down to me.

"We'll be back..." she forced a smile on her face. She played with my hair. "Goodbye Amanda we...we love you," she told me.

"But why do you have to leave??" I asked again.

"Don't worry Amanda, we'll come back," my dad told me soaked by the rain. He had brunette hair and I had his chocolate brown eyes. "Okay?"

"Okay.." I eased out. After that moment, my parents seemed to jog away to the car and I waved to them but they seemed to notice as they didn't look back at me again...but I blamed it on the rain...

It's later on that night and I had a dream it was storming outside and my parents were yelling at me for no reason and they threw me in the rain alone. Some dog with a deceiving face was chasing me and my parents were laughing at me, not even helping. Terrified, I woke up to the window shattering from the storm and as the rain soaked me and glass flew everywhere, I ran out the room wishing I could be home....my real home.

~

Aspen just stared at me and I looked down out the window with crossed arms and a heavy heart.

"And that's why I hate storms..." I told him. "Every time it happens nothing good happens to me..." Aspen was quiet as if he didn't know what to say, but he was Aspen...of course he knew... what to say.

Cause he always seemed right.

"Well just think. Now that you know storms are God talking, think of it that way," he informed placing his hand on my shoulder. I sighed.

"But what happened to me in the past is still there. I can't forget it," I told him honestly. "I can't." He sighed this time.

"Well what matters is what happens tomorrow," he informed me. "You could start over. Have a fresh start." I smiled at the thought of it. "Rain brings fresh starts and a clean slates. Like a reminder from God..." I looked up at Aspen smiling, hiding my lip and I just hugged him so he wouldn't see my tear shed because....

"Just like Kelly use to say..." I whispered to the side as he hugged me.

~

Kelly and I made it outside and I ran straight to a puddle jumping in it laughing my little head off having the time of my life.

"Come on Mommy, it's fun!" I called to her. She smiled at me sweetly.

"Haha ok, I'm coming!" She said to me. She jumped in the puddle with me, laughing as I looked at her beautiful dark brown eyes and her naturally curly deep red hair and her smile so sweet, you'd think she'd never cry.

"Come on!" I hopped from puddle to puddle. She joined me, and when I was too short to make a puddle jump, she playful screamed and I turned to her.

"No! If you jumped outside the puddle, the land sharks will get you!!" She told me. Her imagine was just as creative as mine.

"Ahh!!" I screamed behind laughs. She laughed as I jumped back on the puddle. "Mommy! We have to get to the boat to escape the land sharks!" I told her pointing to the car.

"We have to hurry! Their coming after us!!" She said after me. "Look!" I turned around, and sure enough, there they were...our imagination taking over.

"Noo! Hahahah!"

After our little game and we noticed it began to rain harder, we made it inside Mom's car and she helped me in the drivers seat and she came in after.

"That...was close," she said out of breath.

"Too close! But we made it!" I exclaimed. "I couldn't have made it without you!"

"Aww, me either Amanda!" She told me hugging me in her lap. I hugged her back, but suddenly a lightening strike appeared and a loud roar of thunder and I jumped hugging Kelly tightly and she pouted for me.

"My poor baby....It's alright," she told me softly.

"No! I don't want to go back!" I covered my eyes in her chest. "I don't want to."

"My child, don't be afraid. You're not going back there," she knew I was talking about the orphanage. I looked at her as the thunder roared again.

"I'm not?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Unless if something happens to me, you'll never go back. You're mine now and I wouldn't trade you for world," she told me. I sniffed as I had tear down my cheek.

"But why does it have to storm? I don't like storms..." I told her. She sighed smiling with chilled eyes.

"Sometimes God has to make it storm. We need rain for this earth and for the animals...even us." I titled my head.

"Really? But how for us?" I asked.

"Well Jesus died on the cross for our sins to be washed away. Right?"

I nodded.

"And I think of rain as a reminder He still cleanses us! Everyone needs a clean slate, yeah?" I thought about it extra hard. Kelly smiled. "Think of it like this," she straighten up in the driver seat. I looked right into her light brown eyes. "Rain washes away things. Jesus is that rain that washes bad things away from us. The rain is just a reminder he can cleanse us anytime no matter what we did or even didn't do. God loves us and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to us. So the rain won't hurt you Amanda. I promise," she poked my nose smiling sweetly. I giggled.

"Oh, hehehee," I chuckled amongst myself. "I think I get it. God uses the rain to remind us He's still there and washes our bad things away. He doesn't mean to hurt me and if he does one day, I know he wouldn't. Cause we're besties and besties don't hurt each other. Like you and me Mommy!" I squealed. She laughed.

"Haha! Exactly like that. So you understand it now don't ya?" She confirmed. I looked down and I perked up quickly.

"Yes Mommy. I get it!" I exclaimed.

"Yay!" Kelly said sweetly hugging me. "Now, since we're already in here, want to go out for food?" I smiled.

"Can I get a Happy Meal Mommy?" I asked seriously.

"I don't see why not!" She exclaimed.

"Yaaaay! I love you so much Mommy," I hugged her again.

"I love you too Amanda...." She whispered back, our faces cheek to cheek.

***

I thought about that as I continued hugging Aspen...ironic that I was hugging him....ironic I was hugging him for the same reason as I hugged Kelly then....

Jesus loves us. He shows it through rain and of course even through certain people. Therefore, I felt I was blessed to have people like Kelly and Aspen in my life to show me that....

Even if it was just them two who were those people.....

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(I love this chapter:') Please vote and comment and thank you for continuing<3