I think im a bit to clingy to her.
I cant help it.
Its the kind of girlfriend i am.
I feel so scared.
That as soon as school is over.
She will leave me.
Because of my clingy...ness
Im also afraid
That i wont see her when high school comes rolling around.
But eh.
Its fine.
I just.
Felt like...
And still feel like
I found the right person.
The person i want to marry..
And she made me promise too..
That one day ill marry her.
Right now.
Ever since she gave me a second chance.
Its been going great.
Im happy.
I hope shes happy..
But..
I think..
That..
And also im scared of...
Her leaving me because she feels like experimenting...
I had a dream where school ended.
She left me.
For the only reason being she didnt wanna commit to a relationship yet..
She wanted to experiment and be with other people...
Maybe experience..
Sexual intercourse with a man..
But even tho im afraid
Its understandable..
Even tho i dont want to...
Most men are disgusting to me..
And i dont like others girls..
I only like her..
I remember in my younger years.
Id date my online friends..
Cause i simply didnt wanna be alone...
Simply to feel the experience if loving someone..
Ive only dating two people irl.
Which is her and a boy in 4th grade named marcus...
Which looking on now makes me feel like a jerk..
Its just i cant hurt peoples emotions.....
I cant reject them...
Because i myself dont like being rejected..
And not just rejection as im dating..
I asked for a hug...
I was rejected..
Being denied a hug
MADE ME SLOWLY DIE AND GET DEPRESSED ON THE INSIDE...

Im just..scared..

But...she is independent..she is herself...any decision she makes i respect..

Because i love her..

With all my heart..

She could choose to do anything bad to me...

Sure id complain...cause im a whiney baby..

But i will always love and respect her....