I think she left me.....
I cried alot...
Im crying even now...
Im thinking of begging my parents to refrain from sending me to school...
I will start go cut again...
I know its bad...
But i cant help it...
I might try to kill myself...
But my parents or someone always stops me...
So i doubt ill succeed..
On the inside im a bit happy tho..
Because now i know i wont bother her anymore and she can be happy
I came to realize that...
Soon after she did...
She was totally fine...i heard and saw her smiling and laughing with everyone else...
Which makes me doubt that when we were together...((or still are idk...))
That she didnt like me at all...
But...its fine...
Shes happy...
Thats all that matters...
Her happiness is my life...
It will end soon enough..((probably not..knowing my parents))
But shell continue to be happy...
I might...sooner or later...delete this account...
Im sorry...i know others may care for me...and for some its the only way to talk to me...but...*sighs*...im sorry...

A part of me...a really big part of me...99% of it...wants her to come back...really badly...and for us to just be...normal...to feel comfortable..and well to talk and hug each other...to rely on each other...but...its for her health...and mine...

But...i do this alot...because i dont want the stress and emotions to bottle up inside me...so i always complain to her...
But i guess thats a no no...
Cause shes always stressed...

I....should probably stop....i cant help it. ...no amount of anything wont make me stop thinking about her...talking about it helps...
But...only a few people read this...
Sometimes none at all...
I dont really care...but for tye sake of people who read and understand ...i dont want them to get...well...depressed or mad at me....for complaining....just like she did...her happiness matters most to me...but that doesnt mean i dont care for other people