She dyed her hair and curled it because she thought straight and natural didn't look appealing.
She wore eye contacts because she thought brown eyes were boring.
She wore makeup because she'd been told from a young age she was ugly.
As a kid she was told she was too skinny; as a teen she was too fat.
She suffered from depression and two types of anxiety but never once put herself first.
She went through life believing no one would love her no matter what people said around her.
She had been told at a young age she was too ugly, too distant, too messed up to be loved.
She wore clothes that covered her skin because she felt uncomfortable showing too much.
She never went outside because the sun was too bright for her dark mind.
Did as she was told because she was too afraid to disobey.
Fourteen, against suicide. Fifteen, wanting to do it.
Had to sit over an hour thinking and speaking about the good things because she didn't want to think about the bad.
Lied when people asked if she was okay because how can you tell someone whats wrong when you don't even know what's wrong yourself?
She was told she was an emo and sorrow was 'just a phase'.
She was called 'lazy' when she didn't get a job or didn't want to talk to people because she was 'afraid'.
She was misunderstood, misfortunate, misjudged.
She was a MISTAKE!
....

But despite all this she still went to school with a smile.
She still laughed when deep down she was breaking.
She didn't need others to help her because all they did was break her more.
She found her own way of getting through life because the 'normal way' didn't suit her.
She lay awake at night because her brain never shut off but still did her best to get up each morning and do things.
She began to never leave her room because when she did she felt uncomfortable.
She began to wear singlets at home and normal shirts in public.
She stopped trying to fit in and began to stand out.
The chicks at school talked about her as being weird but she thought they wasted their lives on drugs and alcohol.
She found it easier to be 'herself' despite not knowing who 'she' was.
She smiled because she knew...
She knew she would get better.
She knew she would gain more confidence because she had.
She knew she would find a place she fit in because she already did.
She knew she was beautiful.
But she just found it all hard to believe because of how much she'd been told.
She would get better because was.
She is me.
She was me...