Soooo all weekend, I was out camping with my parents and their friends. Here are some highlights.

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Me: *sulking because I don't want to be here*

Mom's friend: *hands me a stick and knife*

Mom's friend: Widdle.

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Parents friend's daughter (my friend): *gasps* Is that the ice cream truck!?

Dad's friend: *yelling* OH MY GOD IT IS.

Both: *running to the truck* ICE CREAM OH MY GOD ice CREAM!!!

Me: Should we tell them that that's not actually an ice cream truck?

Mom: No, let them have this moment.

Both: *return with a box of ice cream*

Me: What?

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My friend: *sticks head out of a cabinet*

My friend: I have crippling depression!

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Me: Ugh, my hands are so sore from all that widdiling.

Dad: *plops giant block of ice in my hands*

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Me: My hands feel better...

Dad's friend: Why did they hurt before?

Me: Oh, I was widdiling and my hands aren't used to that, so they got red and sore.

Dad's friend: You don't have callous hands!?

Me: ...No?

Dad's friend: What do you do with your free time!?

Me: I don't know... Write, draw...

Dad's friend: *to my dad* You haven't had her do anything that could callous her hands!?

Me: *internally* fuck you, I'm a boy not a girl, you bitch.

Me: Nope, I guess he didn't.

****

Me: Haha, it's a skeeting skeeter scooting along the way to safety.

My friend: *kills it*