I am so tired yet I can't sleep.

My body is saying shut down you idiot.

But my brain is saying Shut the hell up.

I am so stressed.

I am going to go to college soon.

I am so happy......

Yet why.....?

Why am I scared?

I did things to fast......

I did things without thinking......

I am so stressed.......

I wanna text people or talk.......

But I can't......

I am  scared.......

For the first time in my life.......

I am really really scared........

My heart feels empty........

Broken.

Happiness.

Loneliness.

Excitement.

Stress.

I need a job.

I can't find one.

I need money.

I can't get any.

I need to finish Highschool.

I don't go to school anymore.

I have a due date.

Nov. 23rd, 2020.

I wanna cry.

But I can't.

I want a hug.

But I have no one to hug.

I wanna speak my mind out.

But no one to listen to everything.

I try to think positive.

I try to stay happy.

I try to smile.

I try to make others happy.

I try to help people.

I try.....

I try.......

So very hard to finally speak.

But I can't.......

Everything I do.

Everything I may say.

I am scared to do.

I've never had a job before.

Cause no one would except me cause of my age before.

Now I am of Age but no experience.

I need money to pay for my college.

But no job or any help from anyone to do so.

I hate begging.

I hate asking for help.

I feel weak when I do.

I hate myself most for that reason.

Why.....?

Why can't I.....?

I know no one will see this so I am just ranting......

Please ignore me and keep on with how you are......

I am sorta important but not fully.

I am someone.

But at the same time.

I am no one.

Ignore me.

I am just ranting.

I am stressed.

And this is the only way I can sorta put it out there.

So please ignore me.

Cause I am Fine.......

Or thats what I say at least.

I am sorry everyone.

For talking about something stupid.

And wasting your time.

So please ignore me.

-Angel