Alright so this rant is a lot about body image and body dysphoria so if that triggers you I would advise you not to read this

Alright so recently I've been going through some really hard times with the way I view my body. I am female to male transgender person so I experience a lot of body dysphoria. If you ever see those things where trans people see themselves as the opposite gender in the mirror that is completely wrong, at least from my personal experience. Like every fucking day I look in the more I getting ready and I almost cry because with body dysphoria you see all the features that make you that biological sex stand out more and shows you how much you could never pass. You think you could never be accepted by society and you see your boobs or your dick and you hate it and you loathe everything. And don't get me started on getting called by your biological pronouns. For people who aren't trans or non-binary getting called "she" when you have a vagina is expected and insulting if not. But for a ftm or a mtf getting called your biological sex is incredibly heartbreaking and especially when that day you thought you were particularly feminine or masculine or gender neutral. And I don't blame the person who calls me that pronoun. I blame it on myself and it's so fucking frustrating. Anyway I also said I'd be talking about body image so here we go. I don't know if anyone else is overweight but if you are I'm here for you it's really hard at least for me to see all these girls and guys so confident with their bodies and how the look and I've never been more jealous. I can never look good in anything. Tight fitting clothes just show off my fat and loose fitting clothes make me look even fatter then I already am. And it's not like I was born with a defect that made me fat, I brought this upon myself, I eat unhealthy, I don't exercise hell I barely even go outside and no all you fuckers who are gonna say "Same me tho" I don't remember the last time I willingly felt like moving from my bed, I barely feel motivation to do anything even to get up to use the bathroom and I hate it cause it's my fault I'm this way and I hate it