#RTG06 Chapter 06

Sean must've realized that I was nowhere near kidding nung sinabi ko sa kanya na BAR review ang priority ko at hindi talaga ako magpapakita sa kanya habang nagrereview. Alam ko naman kasi na malandi ako at bibigay ako kapag nakita ko siya... kaya naman totoo ang prevention is better than cure. Although nagkikita naman kami tuwing Sunday para magsimba. We're both not really religious people... but I felt the need to pray for guidance. Kailangan ko talagang maka-pasa. I didn't want to wait for another year. 'Di ko alam kung ano ang takbo ng buhay.

"Let's go?" I asked Sean nang matapos iyong misa. We didn't see each other for a week. After graduation pa iyong start ng review, but I was busy organizing my things. Mas gusto ko kasing i-review iyong old notes ko kasi nandun na 'yung mga na-highlight ko, e. Mas madali siyang tandaan for me.

"It's your grad next week, right?" Sean asked.

"Yup," I replied.

"Aren't you going to invite me?"

"Why? You wanna come?"

"Uh... yes?" tanong niya na medyo naka-kunot ang noo.

I laughed. I seriously believed that Sean's already frustrated with me. Ako na yata ang may hawak ng 'densest girlfriend' award. Literal na wala akong ambag sa relasyon na 'to. Para akong kabute na nagpaparamdam tuwing Sunday.

"My whole family's going to be there," I told him.

Kahit na exclusive na kami ngayon, hindi ko pa rin sigurado kung pangmatagalan na ba 'to. I just didn't want to introduce temporary people to my family. Alam ko mag-aalala ang parents ko tapos if hindi magwork, malulungkot sila... I just didn't want to give them that kind of headache. Nasa retirement years na sila. They should just be enjoying the fruits of their labor.

"Yeah, and so?"

I pursed my lips. Paano ko ba sasabihin na ayoko siyang ipakilala sa parents ko as my boyfriend habang 'di ako sure kung seryoso ba talaga 'to?

I like Sean... like a lot. But I still couldn't see this as something serious... Nabibilisan kasi ako. May doubt sa utak ko kung seryoso ba talaga siya. It's just too detached from reality—contrary to human experience. Ayoko lang masyadong isipin ngayon dahil nasa iba ang focus ko.

But definitely, ayoko siyang ipakilala sa pamilya ko.

"Let's just have dinner the day after my grad, okay?"

Bigla siyang napa-hinto sa paglalakad.

"What?" I asked.

"Why don't you want me to meet them?"

I licked my lower lip and then drew a deep breath. "It's not that I don't want you to meet them," I explained.

"Then what?"

I looked at his eyes. "I told you I don't want a relationship at this point of my life," I told him. "And that includes the whole meeting-the-parents thing."

Ilang segundo na naka-tayo lang kami roon habang dumadaan sa paligid namin iyong mga galing sa simbahan. I even heard some people calling Sean's name, but he was either ignoring them or he just couldn't hear them.

"Okay," he said after a few seconds.

"Okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah... Sorry for bringing that up."

"Are you mad?"

Umiling siya. "I think I understand what you mean," sabi niya at saka bahagyang ngumiti. "But can I still go to your grad?"

"Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah... I just wanna watch you go on stage. I'll give you flowers and then I'll leave, I promise."

I smiled and anchored my arm with his. Sinandal ko iyong ulo ko sa balikat niya. "Okay," I said. "Sorry I'm being hard."

"You're not the Isobel that I like if you're not hardheaded," he said, kissing my temple.

* * *

Sean and I just spent our Sunday in his condo pagkatapos naming kumain ng lunch outside. We had a lot of sex and then cuddled for a bit before niya akong ihatid sa condo ko... And then I slept like a baby and woke up the next day, ready for another week of reviewing.

The days rolled up quickly dahil sa dami ng ginagawa ko. Before I knew it, my family was back and I was already preparing for my graduation.

"Di ako laude, Pa, ha," I reminded him kasi baka akalain niya may award ako! Sobrang goal ko lang pumasa. 'Di ako sobrang nag-e-exert ng effort kagaya ng ibang tao. I study my ass off—but just enough to pass. Ewan ko. 'Di ko talaga goal maging pinaka-mataas.

"Oo nga," Pa replied. "Pero aakyat pa rin ako sa stage."

I rolled my eyes. "Kasama ako, syempre!"

Si Mama naman, pina-ayos na kami dahil kukuha daw siya ng pictures namin. Old school pa rin sila, e. Pinapa-develop pa rin tapos naka-lagay sa isang photo album.

After the pictorial, pumunta na kami sa school. Behave lang ang parents ko habang nag-o-observe sa mga tao. Alam ko kilala nila iyong karamihan kasi mga anak ng pulitiko karamihan sa classmates ko, e, so maraming politicians ngayon dito.

"Ate, ang daming gwapo..." Irina, my sister, said.

"Nako, mga fuckboy 'yan," I warned her.

"Totoo?" she asked, her eyes wide. Sa probinsya lang kasi 'tong si Irina kaya medyo inosente pa. Ganyan din ako nung unang tapak ko sa Manila.

"Oo kaya kapag nagManila ka, mag-iingat ka sa mga ganyan. Mga magagaling lang magsalita 'yan ng kalandian tapos iiwan ka rin," I said.

"Kagaya nung si Kuya Sean?" Medyo nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Naaalala niya pa si Sean? Once niya lang nakita, e. "Yiee, si Ate. May something kayo ni Kuya Sean, no?"

"Dami mong alam," I replied, instead. "Tara na nga sa pwesto natin."

Sinamahan ko muna iyong pamilya ko sa pwesto nila bago ako pumunta sa pwesto para sa mga graduates. Katabi ko si Irina na sabi nang sabi na ang dami daw gwapo. Ang landi nitong kapatid ko. Mukhang delikado kapag nagManila na.

"Ate," she called. Tumingin ako sa kanya. "Tingin nang tingin sa 'yo 'yung lalaking 'yun."

I looked at where she pointed at... At kahit naka-talikod, alam ko na si Sancho iyon dahil nakita ko agad na katabi niya sina Nikolai at Vito. Ano ba talaga ang problema nun sa 'kin? 'Di naman ako kinakausap! Tapos tingin nang tingin.

"Kilala mo, Ate?"

"Blocmate ko," I simply replied. Tumayo na ako. "Punta na ko sa seat ko," I told my parents. "Text ko si Irina kapag tatayo na kayo papunta sa gilid para punta tayo sa stage, ha, Pa?"

They both nodded and smiled at me. Si Mama, naiiyak pa nga. Cute talaga nitong dalawa.

Dumiretso na ako sa pwesto namin. Unfortunately, walang designated seat para sa bawat isa kasi by bloc lang iyong pwesto. I looked around for a vacant seat and frowned when I saw na iyong bakante na lang e iyong sa gitna ni Assia and Sancho.

Bahala na nga.

Tahimik lang ako habang naupo. I was trying to concentrate on the program amidst the noise around me. Ang dadaldal talaga ng mga tao dito. Bayaan ko na nga tutal last time ko na makikita iyong iba sa kanila. For sure naman hindi lahat dito ay magpapractice ng law dahil iyong iba, gusto lang nila makuha iyong title.

"Congrats daw, Sob," Niko said, grinning.

"Thanks?" I replied, a little weirded out dahil sa ngisi niya.

"Thanks daw, dude," sabi niya kay Sancho habang natatawa. Sancho just ignored him. Tahimik na naka-tingin si Sancho sa harap at mukhang nakikinig naman sa speech nung speaker.

Biglang siniko ni Niko si Vito. Vito sighed.

"Sob, switch seats with Vito?" Nikolai asked.

I wanted to ask why, but also, tinatamad akong makipag-usap sa kanila. And I really didn't want any trouble with these people. They have connection with the higher people. Whatever. I just wanted to steer clear of their path.

At dahil nakipagpalit ako ng pwesto, katabi ko na ngayon si Sancho at katabi naman ni Vito si Assia. Mas gusto ko pang maupo sa gitna ni Vito at Assia dahil tahimik lang 'yung dalawa na 'yun, e. Napunta pa tuloy ako sa tabi ng magulong si Niko at masungit na si Sancho.

"Where will you review, Sob?" Niko asked.

"Villamor," I simply replied.

"Oh, what a coincidence! We also enrolled there!" Niko rather enthusiastically said. I just smiled at him and focused on trying to listen to the program.

Sa sobrang daming commentary ni Nikolai, wala na akong naintindihan talaga sa sinabi nung speaker. Thankful na lang ako nung pina-tayo na iyong bloc namin para pumila. I immediately went to my parents who were all smiles as I approached them.

"Ready?" I asked them. They nodded excitedly.

We waited in line habang isa-isang tinatawag iyong mga pangalan namin. My sister was amazed dahil familiar siya sa karamihan ng apelido na tinatawag. She said she wanted to study here, too, at sabi ko sa kanya na kailangan niyang galingan kasi scholarship lang ang tanging paraan para ma-afford namin ang pag-aaral dito. Sobrang ginto naman kasi ng tuition.

"Salamat, anak," Papa said while we're heading towards the stage. I just smiled at him and begged myself not to cry kasi mahahalata sa pictures...

Pero sa dalawang salita na 'yun, parang nawala lahat ng pagod at iyak na naramdaman ko sa apat na taong pag-aaral ko.

Parang biglang naging worth it lahat ng paghihirap ko...

Kailangan kong galingan lalo para pumasa ako sa BAR.

I wanted to give my parents that—to have their daughter become a lawyer. Deserve nila 'yun sa lahat ng hirap na dinanas nila para palakihin at pag-aralin kami ni Irina.

My parents were all smiles nang iabot sa akin ang diploma ko. Pati sa pictures, ngiting-ngiti sila. Kanina ko pa nakikita si Papa na pasulyap-sulyap sa pangalan ko na naka-sulat doon... Para tuloy bigla kong gustong magsorry at saka ginalingan ko pa lalo para cum laude ako... Sana may medal pa siyang madidisplay sa bahay.

Kailangan kong bumawi sa BAR na lang. Kailangan maka-top 10 man lang ako.

While I was walking with my family, bigla akong napa-hinto dahil may tumawag sa pangalan ko. My forehead creased when I saw Niko at Vito tapos nasa likod nila si Sancho.

"What?" I asked dahil kanina pa ako ginugulo ng triplets na 'to.

"Group pic as remembrance?" Niko asked, grinning.

I rolled my eyes as I agreed. Wala naman kasing sense kung makikipagtalo pa ako sa kanila. Pumwesto na lang ako kasama sila.

"I thought group picture?" I asked kasi biglang kami lang ni Sancho iyong naka-pose.

"Later," Niko said, waving his hand and taking the picture. Ang lakas talaga ng trip ng mga 'to. Iniwan ko agad sila pagkatapos nun at pumunta kina Mama.

"Sino 'yun, Ate?" Irina asked.

"Mga dapat iwasan," I told her. Wala talaga sa life plan ko ang maging involved sa lawyer. 'Di naman ganito nung nasa college pa lang ako... but after just one sem in law school, nakita ko ang kapokpokan ng mga lalaki dito. Ayokong maggeneralize, but also, ayokong maging involved sa kanila. Nasa training pa naman namin ang maging magaling sa pagba-bluff... Sakit sa ulo lang talaga, if ever.

Nang papunta na kami sa sasakyan, bigla akong kinalabit ni Irina. Napa-tingin ako sa direksyon na tinuro niya. I immediately faced her and told her an susunod na lang ako sa sasakyan. Mabilis na pumunta ako kay Sean.

"Congrats," he said, handing me a bouquet of mixed flowers.

"Thank you," I said, accepting the flowers. "Sorry. Did you wait for long?"

He shrugged. "Going to lunch?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah..." I replied.

God, ang awkward. Parang gusto niya na ipa-kilala ko siya sa family ko, pero ayoko talaga... 'Di naman sa nagdududa ako kay Sean... Ayoko lang na bigyan ng problema sila Mama, if ever.

"I better get going," Sean said, smiling.

I bit my lower lip. "Okay..."

"Can we take a photo first?" he asked.

"Duh, of course," I replied.

Agad akong tumabi sa kanya. He wrapped his one arm around my waist and used his other hand to take our photo. We were both smiling and kitang-kita iyong difference sa skin color namin. Maputi kasi siya tapos morena ako. Pareho lang kami na medyo singkit iyong mata pero hindi naman mukhang Intsik.

"Can I post this?" he asked.

"And what? Break your admirers' hearts?" I asked back, feigning a shock.

He laughed. "Jealous?"

I stuck my tongue out. "You wish."

Nung hindi pa kami official ni Sean, may konting selos ako na nararamdaman kasi wala naman akong karapatan... pero ngayon na may karapatan na ako, suddenly, I felt secured. Kasi girlfriend na ako. Pero kahit girlfriend niya na ako, malaman ko lang na may iba siya...

Goodbye.

'Di lang siya ang gwapong doctor sa mundo.

"Sob," he suddenly said.

"Hmm?"

"It's my Mom's birthday on Sunday... you wanna be my date?"

My eyes widened. And then they blinked. And then my throat dried. And then my lips parted.

"This Sunday?"

"Yes."

"Your mom's birthday?"

"Yes."

"You want me as your date?"

"Well, yeah... I mean, who else will I take? You're my girl."

Gods... He was really serious about me, wasn't he? Ipapa-kilala niya ako sa pamilya niya, for heaven's sake!

"But yeah, think about it," he said after my few seconds of stunned silence. "If you don't want to, it's fine. We'll just go to mass in the morning then I have to go at around afternoon," paalam niya sa akin.

I looked at him.

Maybe I was being too unfair.

"Okay," I said.

"Okay to what?"

"Okay we'll go to mass then your mom's party... but I have to be home by 11, okay?"

His face lightened up—hindi ko ma-explain pero parang biglang ang saya niya. Was it really possible that this guy... that he really has genuine feelings for me?

"Thanks, Sob," he said, kissing my cheek. "You better go. Your Dad's already throwing me daggers," sabi niya kaya naman napa-tingin ako sa likod at nakita ko si Papa na naka-tingin nga sa aming dalawa. Patay. Mukhang kukulitin na naman ako nun mamaya.

"Okay... See you next week, okay?"

He nodded. "Definitely," he said. "And congrats again. Knew you'd make it," he continued, smiling at me before waving and turning around.