Chapter 20

Jessie was waiting up when Colt came home that next night, as usual. Something about Colt’s presence made her sleep easier… like she was protected somehow. That lingering feeling in the back of her head that someone was after her wasn’t as preeminent when Colt was sleeping in the next room.

She poured him a cup of coffee and sat down across from him at the table.

“How was your day?” she asked.

Colt shrugged and took a sip of the steaming liquid. Normal people wouldn‘t be drinking coffee this late, but Colt had told her that coffee had the opposite effect on him. It made him sleep better rather than hinder him. “Boring,” he smiled in answer to her question.

She smiled back. “Are you still building the walls?”

He nodded. “Yes ma’am, but I’m almost done. Thank the Lord.”

A brief moment of silence passed before he spoke again.

“I was thinking of taking you up there to measure windows - or whatever it is you want to do - on Thursday. We should have the walls done by then.”

Jessie nodded. “That sounds good. I need to get started on those curtains.”

“Do you like all that sewing and stuff?” Colt asked, taking another sip of his coffee.

Jessie nodded again. “I love it. I’m probably not very good, but I’m trying to get better. Adam tells me that every woman in his family has an expert talent when it comes to sewing, and he expects me to have the same.”

Colt’s eyebrows drew together and Jessie wondered what she’d said.

“Expects you to have the same? Does he want you to be just like his family?”

Jessie was silent a moment, not sure how to reply. “It would be more comfortable to the both of us if I fit in with his relatives.”

“Does he try to fit in with yours?”

“He’s always been accepted by my family.”

“So his family doesn’t accept you for who you are?”

Jessie was taken aback by his question. “It’s… not like that.”

“It sounds like he’s trying to change you into someone you’re not to suit himself,” Colt observed.

Jessie was stunned silent. She had always viewed Adam in a good light. He was kind and he treated her right. That was all a girl could ask for. He was practical and he could provide for her. What more could she need?
“I’m sorry,” Colt’s words broke through her justification. “I should get to know the man before I judge him like that.”

Jessie didn’t reply for a moment. “He can seem a little harsh, but deep down he’s a good man. A man of the law has to be a little rough around the edges or no one will take him seriously.”

Colt nodded. “Just don’t let him make you think that you have to change for anyone. Because you’re perfect just the way you are. Anyone saying anything otherwise doesn’t deserve to stand in your presence.”

Colt’s words startled her at first, but then denial sank in as Jessie’s arm moved to cover her abdomen. He was just saying that to be polite just like everyone else. They all pitied her, so they would all say the exact same thing.

Her gaze slid up to meet his and she saw the honesty in his eyes, yet she refused to believe he meant his words. She had heard them too many times before.

“I… I’m not feeling very well.” She stood. “I think I’ll go lay down.”

Colt stood as she turned to leave. “Goodnight.”

She glanced back at him. “Goodnight.”

Once behind the door in the enclosed room, she sank onto the bed and stared at the floor. Why couldn’t she get her weight under control? Why was it so hard to lose a few pounds for the sake of her fiancé?

She wasn’t worth him. She didn’t even have the willpower to lose ten pounds for him.

At that moment, she strengthened her resolve. When she returned home, Adam would be proud to call her his betrothed. Her whole family would be proud.

*****

Myra stood back behind her husband in the ticket office in the little town of Greeneville, New Mexico. She hadn’t slept in nearly two days, and the dread she felt had settled into her gut and clenched until it was hard to breathe sometimes.

“Come on, can’t you remember? She’s not that tall, has long reddish-brown hair, green eyes?” Jake’s persuasive voice pleaded with the ticket clerk.

“You know how many tickets I sell every week? I can’t tell one day from the next, let alone a lady from nearly three weeks ago,” the clerk rolled his eyes as he spoke.

“Then how many tickets have you sold to Bottlebrush?” Jake pressed.

“I’m not allowed to give out that information.”

Jake rolled his eyes, and Myra sensed her son’s growing agitation. “Look, man. This is my kid sister I’m talking about. If you can’t give just a little bit on your rules to help someone who might possibly be in a great deal of trouble, then I don’t know how you call yourself a man.”

The clerk looked at Jake from above his spectacles, and then looked at Jacob, then to her.

“Fine,” he sighed. “Give me a moment to find the records.”

He turned around and looked into a book, mumbling some words that they couldn’t make out.

Jake turned and met his parent’s gaze. They walked to the other end of the room and formed a small circle.

“He better find her or I’ll beat the devil outta him.” Jake rubbed the back of his neck.

“Be calm about this. The last thing we need is to get arrested for assaulting a ticket clerk,” Jacob told him.

Myra had been noticing how edgy her son had been since his sister came up missing. He as always fidgeting and he was easily riled these days. Not that she blamed him, they were all scared and on edge.

“I’m tired of not knowing,” Jake sighed.

Myra nodded. She knew exactly how he felt. She clasped her hands in front of her and squeezed tightly. They were all tired of the unknown, wondering whether or not Jess was okay.

Jacob wrapped an arm around her shoulder and smiled. “I know what you’re saying, but I’ve got this feeling. I can’t explain it, but I just feel like everything is gonna work out.”

Myra leaned against his shoulder and sighed.

She hoped he was right.

“God’s gonna work it all out, you wait and see,” Jacob squeezed her shoulders.

“Here,” the clerk spoke up. “I found something.”

Jake was the first to the ticket counter and Myra followed her husband.

“Is Jessie Steele the name?” the clerk asked.

“That’s it,” Jake snatched the book from the clerk’s hand and looked at it. “What stage did she go on?”

“The three o’clock stage,” the clerk answered.

“Who was driving?” Jacob asked.

“Sam Goody drives that stage. He’ll be here in about thirty minutes,” the clerk told them.

Jake grinned - for the first time in a month. “Thank you.”

Myra felt the clenching in her gut ease up a little bit.

Thank you, Lord!

*****

Colt sat behind his desk early in the morning, deep in his thoughts rather than sorting out the men‘s pay.

“Someday you’re gonna meet a lovely lady and she’s gonna love you more than I ever could. When she comes along, I won’t be able to hold a candle to her.”

Bliss’ words throbbed in Colt’s memory, and he found himself growing impatient with his own mind.

No one could ever hold a candle to Bliss. She was perfect in every way, and he refused to let her go.

Yet what good would it do him? It wasn’t as if he could have her. She was a married woman now, and she was madly in love with her husband.

Why didn’t that make him feel any better? The woman was probably sick and tired of seeing him walk around like a whipped puppy, as was he. Well, he was neither a puppy nor had he been whipped. If there was a way that he walk around with his head held high, then he would do it. A man had to draw a line every once in a while at wherever he was fed up with pushing himself around.

The moment he strengthened his resolve, all the memories that he and Bliss had made popped into his head. They were just kids for a long time, being thrown together by their parents and being forced to spend time with each other. Then, they grew into friends, and that friendship grew until it blossomed. For Colt, that blossom kept growing until turned into love - or what sure seemed like it. Bliss had never felt that reaction to him.

Could love reasonably be a one-sided thing?

There was a fine line between love and wishful thinking.

The more he thought about it, the more it seemed to him that two people had to grow into love, not just come across feelings on their own.

Maybe he never had loved Bliss.

Could it be that he wasn’t bound by feelings that strong?

*****

Jessie smiled as she sat beside Colt in the wagon on the way to Mr. and Mrs. Slade’s home-building site. She and Colt were engaged in a pleasant conversation regarding the scenery and what set Arizona apart from the rest of the country.

“Of course, people always notice the big buttes and the desert landscapes, but there’s more to Arizona than that. There’s just something about the land out here that can be so rough and wild and dangerous yet can feel like the safest place in the world.” Colt looked around at the surroundings as he spoke.

Jessie watched him talk about the state he loved so much and realized that he was truly in love with the land around him. Arizona was a part of him just as South Carolina was a part of her.

“You seem to really like it out here,” she observed.

“What’s not to like? I do believe it’s my favorite place on earth,” Colt grinned.

Jessie stifled a sigh before it could come out. She hated that his smile never reached his beautiful blue eyes. She only imagined what it would do for his looks if he let that smile grow to his eyes.

“You never thought of going anywhere else?” she asked.

Colt shook his head. “Never.”

“So you’re not like your grandmother in that area.”

Colt smirked at her. “I think it’s safe to say that I don’t get any inclinations to go gold mining.”

Jessie laughed. “Oh, I can picture you out there in a fur cap panning by some trickling creek while Carby orders you around like a hired hand. You might even strike it rich. They couldn’t have gotten all the gold in the Gold Rush.”

“You make it sound like I’m a pushover or somethin’,” Colt said teasingly.

“You play the part very well sometimes.” Jessie returned the teasing tone.

Colt gasped in mock horror. “Lies. I’m a man of my own mind and if anyone gets ordered around, it’s Granny.”

Jessie laughed again.

“You think I’m kidding, don’t you?” Colt nudged her in the side with his elbow.

“She’d take a switch to you if she heard what you just said,” Jessie told him.

Colt nodded and smiled. “You’re probably right.”

They arrived at the building site, the sound of hammers ringing through the air and voices echoing through the walls greeting them before they entered the half-built structure.

“You men are doing a good job on this place,” Jessie told Colt.

“We’re trying,” Colt smiled over at her.

He opened the front door and entered the house. Jessie followed him. The inside of the house was still much of a skeleton and needed to be built, but the windows were cut out and that was all Jessie needed.

“I know it looks kind of bad now, but once we get the walls up and painted, it’ll be the best house you ever saw,” Colt grinned.

Jessie smiled. “I declare, it looks so big!”

“Well, nothing’s too extravagant for Sherman Cooper’s daughter,” Colt sighed.

Jessie walked over to the first window and began measuring it.

“What’s a woman doing here?” she heard a voice say.

She turned her head to see a cowboy, with a hammer in hand, staring between her and Colt.

“Dean, this is Jessie Steele. She’s making the curtains for Bliss,” Colt explained.

Dean tipped his hat, and Jessie turned to give a curtsey.

“Oh…” Dean’s eyebrows drew close together. “When she due?”

Jessie clenched her measuring tape in her hand and gaped at the man.

She looked to Colt, but he seemed to be in just as much shock.

I know...

I know...

I've taken way too long to update!

Enjoy and hope you had a Happy Valentine's Day!