The weeks go by quickly and for the first time Molly notices. She divides her time between studying, school, seeing her friends, having family trips out and seeing Charlie. She accompanied Lily to meet her mother in a café, the first time she had seen her in over a year. It was an emotional reunion despite Lily's reluctance to forgive her for the pain she put her through but Lily eventually listened to everything her mother had to say and agreed to a second meeting. And then a third, and then a fourth. Molly knows it's only a matter of time before her mother is granted custody again so that makes every moment they spend with her more special, especially with Christmas coming up.

With Charlie's help, Molly received her learner's permit and passed her driving test after ten lessons. But that wasn't her greatest day, her greatest day came when the court approved her adoption. When she held that piece of paper in her hand and knew that she never had to move again unless she chose to, that she was now bound to a family that she adored and couldn't bear to live without. Even though Pam and Daniel don't talk about the court costs Molly understands the sacrifices they have made and she's thankful for everything they've done for her. She made that very clear on Thanksgiving Day but she was so tearful that she couldn't finish it.

They've broken up for the holidays but school has been pretty much the same. Camilla returned after two weeks and she already knew about Molly and Charlie. She kept her distance and although she threw Molly a few scowls now and then she hasn't been a problem. Everyone is used to it now but at first Molly was subject to many uncomfortable stares and envious gossip. She doesn't care who knows about her mental health problems. When Charlie's by her side she stands so much taller, tall enough to rise above the whispers.

She still sees Alan occasionally but not as often. He checks in on her once every couple of weeks but Molly only has positive things to talk about. For the first time in four years Molly doesn't need a therapist. The triggers still come, mainly at random moments of the day when she really wants to tell them something that happened but it isn't suffocating like it used to be, now she just tells herself that they already know. That they're watching. That they'll be beside her for the rest of her life.

She isn't completely healed but close enough. She still finds it hard to talk about her family but she's getting better. She can look at their photographs now without wanting to die and she can linger on good memories without having a panic attack. And there's only one person that she has to thank for that.

Her relationship with Charlie has grown into something incredible. Over the last few weeks they have spent every weekend together. They've had long road trips around California, seen beautiful places that Molly has merely heard of. From national parks, to amusement parks, to a hiking trip around Lake Tahoe, to taking a ferry ride to Santa Catalina Island. His promise to make every day of hers worth living wasn't a lie. There are so many amazing things that they've done that she can't pick a favourite but if she had to then it would be today.

Today, they have spent the whole day Christmas shopping in the city. They ate lunch in an enclosed Chinese garden that was full of fairy lights, lanterns and streams. The place was so beautiful that Molly didn't want to ever leave. They covered most of the mall and they had their picture taken in one of those silly booths. They walked through the acres of forests that gives the city the name 'the city of trees' and she tried to draw him when they sat next to a fountain but he wouldn't sit still.

On the street Molly gave change to every homeless person she passed while Charlie rubbed his head and sighed every time she stopped. Molly knows what it's like to have nothing, to feel like she's nothing, and to have the world pass right by her without giving her a second look. Charlie didn't quite understand that but he never complained, out loud anyway. One woman asked if she'd sit and give her company, Molly agreed, but she had to ignore that Charlie was even there to avoid his glare. The woman was hilarious, Molly laughed at almost everything she said and they talked for a while until the sun began to set. Charlie was so patient, even though he was annoyed, and it was in that exact moment when she stood up and said goodbye to the woman and he took her hand as though he had been waiting hours to do it, Molly realized she was in love with him.

His mother and sister are out of town this weekend, visiting his grandparents that live in Nevada, so he's invited her over for dinner and to stay the night. She sits at the table in the kitchen as she watches him attempt to keep calm over the stove. He's cooking steak with potatoes and boiled vegetables which is a rare occurrence for him to eat. When the pan spits oil at him he curses and jumps back.

"Maybe we should order take out," Molly laughs.

"Oh, you'd love that wouldn't you?" Charlie says. "I don't give up."

"It smells delicious," she says, trying to encourage him. "How much oil did you put in there?"

"I don't know, a lot?"

Molly bursts out into laughter and then covers her mouth with her hand. "You should only add a little bit with butter."

"I've put butter in. It's fine. I got this."

"Base it," Molly says.

"What?"

Molly stands up and grins at him as she walks across the kitchen. She picks up a small spoon from the counter and covers the steak in melted butter. Her hand grazes Charlie's and being close to him is doing something strange to her. She's been close to him all day but not like this. She looks up at him as he looks at her and she loses her breath.

"Thanks," he whispers.

"Mhm." She turns and heads back to the table, taking her seat awkwardly. She starts feeling hot and she moves her clothes around. "Do you have anything to drink?"

"Yeah I have water or-"

She clears her throat. "Something stronger."

"Beer?" he offers as he opens the fridge.

She nods. "Yes, please."

He throws the can of beer to her and she catches it. She opens it and drizzles it down her throat, wondering if it'd be rude if she suddenly walked out into the yard. She doesn't cool down, not even a little bit, he plates their dinners and puts them onto the table. He sits opposite her, thank god, and is too far away for their feet to touch.

"Are you okay?" he says.

"Yep."

"You look nervous."

"Do I?" she mutters as she takes another long sip of her beer. "I haven't noticed."

Charlie laughs. "What do you want to do after dinner?"

The beer can almost drops from her fingertips. She catches it in time and places it calmly on the table, she can't even look at him. "What do you want to do?"

"Well, we could watch some movies but none of that romantic comedy crap."

"I don't like romantic comedies anyway," Molly says. "I much prefer action." She widens her eyes and tries not to slap her face. Is she making it obvious? She can't tell. He isn't catching on to any of her hints and she's about to pour her head underneath the cold water tap.

"Action it is," Charlie agrees. Molly smiles for a second and then ducks her head back down. "The couch isn't very comfortable but I could put some blankets down."

"Or we could watch it in bed?" She meets his eyes, swallowing a piece of steak uneasily.

"Sure, I have a television in my room."

Molly makes a face that he doesn't see and she rubs her head. Unless she spells it out for him then he isn't getting this. Her leg starts to shake and her palms begin to sweat as she overthinks everything. From the moment he invited her she's been thinking about it, hasn't he? She's been studying for tonight as though it's an exam, she's as mentally and emotionally prepared as she'll ever be. But what if he doesn't want to? She's been patient even though every time he touches her it kills her, she's waited and she's waited. He knows that, it's almost like he's mocking her.

"Are you sure you don't want some water?"

"I'm fine," she says breathlessly as she wafts a napkin at her face. "It's just hot in here."

"Mhm," he mumbles, he starts grinning mischievously. "There's definitely one hot thing in here."

Molly smirks at him. "Let's make that two."

"I enjoyed today," he says. "Apart from having to sit and wait for you to stop listening to that woman's life story."

"She was cool," Molly says. "I had no idea there was that many homeless people in the city. I wish there was something more I could do."

"You gave them almost your entire month's allowance," Charlie says. "What more could you do?"

"That woman broke my heart," Molly whispers. "She had no family, no home, no one to miss her or talk to her. She just survives out there somehow."

"Maybe she likes it that way." Charlie shrugs. "You can't help everyone."

"I know," she says, trying to meet his gaze seductively. "It just sucks."

"How is it?" He points his eyes to her plate.

"Amazing," she says as she chews. "I could get used to this."

He laughs. "Please don't. It's your turn next."

"How do you feel about ravioli?"

"Like I want to vomit into that flowerpot."

"I'll convert you," she says. "So. . . what movie do you want to watch? Something fast paced or slow?"

"Not sure. Something good obviously. With guns."

She sighs. She's wasting her time so she shuts up and eats the rest of her dinner as he rambles about a boxing movie. Once they've finished they chat for a few minutes about the gifts they bought today and how expensive the prices were. She takes her plate over to the sink and starts filling the bowl with hot water to wash up. He leans over her and turns the tap off.

"Come with me," he says.

"Where?"

He takes her hand and starts to lead her through the house. Her heart races when they turn towards the staircase, he is literally leading her upstairs. He doesn't say a word and she's starting to get nervous, real nervous, like she might pass out at any moment. He opens a door and she follows him inside. The entire room is coated with an orange glow of candles, from the windowsills to the rim of the walls. It smells like cherries and not what she imagined his bedroom to smell like at all. It's tidy with not an item of clothing in sight and she stares at the unit to the far left that's stacked with movie disks from top to bottom. Her eyes drift to his double bed that has candles lit either side on the nightstands. It looks soft and comfortable; she can't believe she's thinking about that right now.

"How did you-?" she starts.

"I lit them when you were in the bathroom," he says. "I didn't think I'd make it in time but I have a surprising talent for it."

She turns and hits his arm playfully. "You knew what I was doing! The whole time during dinner!"

"You're not the best at subtle," he says. "I had to try really hard not to laugh, but it paid off just to see your face right now." He cups her face in his hand and his eyes shine brightly within the dim candlelight. "And my answer is slow."

"Oh gosh," she mutters as his lips gently kiss her.

The throbbing starts, only this time it isn't a throbbing it's a thumping. Her whole body is thumping as though a giant heartbeat is operating over her skin. He kisses her throat, trailing his lips down to her chest and her shirt is suddenly lifted over her head. Molly breathes heavily against his lips as she tries to catch up with this life changing moment. How could she be this anxious? She wants it more than anything but she's terrified of ruining it. What if Charlie finds her boring? What if she changes her mind at the last second and it frustrates him? Her head is racing with questions that she cannot answer and she doesn't have the time to find them. She tries to forget logic and she focuses on instinct. An instinct that has existed within human DNA for centuries. Molly runs her hands over his baggy shirt and she pulls it up and over his head. She touches his shoulders gently and then trails her hand down his chest to his hard stomach. For every second that she touches him her heart accelerates a little further.

Charlie gently undresses the rest of her and she lays down quietly on the bed as he looks down at her. Something changes in his eyes, something that startles her. Charlie bites on his lip in frustration and turns away.

"I can't do this," he says. "I'm sorry."

"W-why?" Molly asks, as she sits up with an arm over her chest.

"You're still ill, I feel like I'm taking advantage."

"Don't you dare use that as an excuse right now," Molly says angrily. "I want this. I am ready for this."

"Are you?" He turns and meets her eyes, she nods slowly. "This is such a big thing, especially for girls, if you're doing this for me then-"

"Charlie," she sighs. "I am not losing my virginity for you. I'm doing it for me. I'm sorry that my incredibly selfish intentions have been exposed but it's the truth."

"You could never be selfish, Moll." He smiles wryly. "The truth is, I'm nervous. I've never been this nervous, with anyone. . . ever." He takes a deep breath and rubs his temple. "I don't want to screw this up."

"Then get back over here."

She grins as he looks at her and then he slowly crawls over. That was her ticket out of it, she's grateful that he gave it to her but she's proud of herself for not taking it. She knows the first time is scary for everyone, Savannah coached her about it. Though there were many details she left out that Molly has had to research online. But the blanks have been filled and Molly could not be more prepared. Charlie kisses her for around a minute and then she feels a pressure down below that makes her gasp. Her fingers curl around the sheets as her stomach fills with a warm and inviting pleasure.

"Tell me to stop if you want me to," Charlie whispers.

"Don't stop," Molly says breathlessly.

Charlie smiles and kisses her throat and then moves his way down her chest. Molly closes her eyes and tries to relax. Her heart is beating so loudly that she worries if he can hear it, or feel it. But that's the point. Her heart is beating. She is so lost in the pleasure and the explosion of mixed emotions that it doesn't feel broken anymore. Charlie has healed her, completely, and it's only now that she realizes.

Her longing for him is so strong that she cannot bear it. The moment he looks up and smiles at her she grabs his shoulder and brings him back. She doesn't want distance between them, even when he's kissing her body. He doesn't complain about her impulsive notion and he succumbs to her passionate kiss.

The next part will be painful. She's read all about it, absorbed as much information and advice as she could take. But how much more pain could she experience? Her tolerance is high and Charlie is an expert on making sure she doesn't feel it.

"Don't kill me," he says against her lips. "Are you sure?"

"I swear to god if you ask me that one more time," she mutters.

He laughs. "Okay."

There is a long pause as he puts the condom on and Molly is counting down the seconds as she anticipates the pain. He doesn't give her time to focus on it because his lips come back to hers and they are the greatest distraction. The pressure is sharp and strong and she has to pull herself away to clench her teeth but after a few moments it becomes more bearable. Charlie knows he's causing her pain and he's hating it more than she is but it's just a small price to pay for being together. He takes it slow and gentle and his lips are the painkiller that she'll never take for granted.

"You okay?" he says.

"Yeah," she whispers.

She'll never be able to put the experience into words. It's the strangest most mind-bending sensation. No one should be okay when going through pain or discomfort but she's never felt more amazed or stunned by what her body can feel. Everything is new and scary because she doesn't know what's coming next. But being with Charlie, knowing that her heart is still beating as loudly as before whenever he touches her is the least scary thing in the world. It's not just the experience, it's him. Sharing this together has somehow brought them even closer, it's inspired a connection that she knew was possible but never believed would happen to her. It's the most incredible moment of her life and she feels too happy to contain it. It bursts out of her chest and infects the air. Charlie kisses her once more and Molly never wants it to end.

+ + +

A while later, they both lay on the large windowsill with blankets around them. They're at opposite sides, facing each other, and Molly can't hide her smile. Her feet are in Charlie's lap and he massages them as she finally gets him to sit still so she can draw him.

"You haven't said much," Charlie whispers.

"I'm thinking about how to let you down gently." Molly grins at him.

"Was it painful?" he says, more seriously.

She shakes her head. "I've been through worse."

"Oh, thanks," he laughs. "Glad to know I'm down there with some of your worst experiences."

She kicks him. "You know that's not what I meant. If my dad is watching me then I really hope he stepped out for that one."

"I really hope so too," Charlie says. "I kind of feel like I need to apologize to him." He raises his voice and looks around the room. "Sorry, Molly's father."

Molly smiles and then drops her eyes back down to her drawing. She shades Charlie's light brown hair, her favorite part.

"What did he do? Your dad?"

"He was a doctor," Molly says. "The medical kind. It sucked sometimes because every time I tried to fake being ill he'd know. He dedicated half of his whole life to helping people, saving people."

"I bet it was nice to have a doctor around."

"Ironically, the only time I was ever seriously ill he was working and my mother couldn't get a hold of him so she had to call this other doctor that misdiagnosed me with a mild flu. When my father got home he knew straight away something wasn't right and he rushed me to the hospital. I was hallucinating, seeing monsters and shadows. I wouldn't stop vomiting. I thought I was dying."

"What was it?"

"Ebola," she sighs. "They still don't know how I contracted it. It spreads through blood and fluid mostly. I almost died but I somehow recovered. I was one of the lucky ones I guess."

"What about your mother?" he says.

"She worked for this company; I think they sold boats." Molly laughs out. "I'm not actually sure. But, in her spare time, she was a painter. That's what I remember the most about her. She taught me how to draw, how to see detail up closely. How to capture something breathtaking."

Charlie smiles. "You do realize it's taken you two months to tell me that?"

"I know," she says. "Today is just full of surprises. You're the only person that doesn't make it hurt."

"I meant that you think I'm breathtaking." Their eyes meet and Molly swallows. "Do I have to sit here for much longer? Because I really want to kiss you," he says.

"I'm almost done," she says, as her cheeks flush a little.

"Kiss you. . . everywhere," he whispers. He nudges his foot against her thigh and she stares down at it, trying not to lose her focus. He places it in between her legs and she bites down on her lip. "No?"

She drops the drawing to the floor. "I guess I could finish this later."

They crawl to each other at the same time, and Molly wraps her arms around his bare body, surrendering to the heat of his skin. He picks her up sideways and dangles her legs over his arms. His arms are so big, so strong, like they could shield anything from harm.

They bounce on the bed and his lips take her somewhere she's never been. She moans in pleasure, her fingers digging so deep into the sheets that she almost breaks her nails.

Now it's ignited, she can't get enough of it, she can't stop wanting it. It's taking over everything and it's embedding itself into her soul. It's making itself at home inside of her, this feeling, this. . . frenzy. Her head spins and her heart takes off without her, but her soul stays right where it is, entwined with his.