Chapter Twenty-One
Molly spent most of her Sunday morning listening to Daisy and Henley talk about everything they did yesterday. Lily was more interested in the dog and she sat with him on the bed for a long time while staying mostly silent about the visit. Lily is old enough to understand why Molly is there and Pam and Daniel have probably explained as much as they can without drawing too much attention to it. They sit at the other end of the room observing, unable to ask Molly the questions that she can tell they want to. Daisy and Henley have brought colouring books with them and Molly has helped them colour through half of the thing. It's felt good to see them because she didn't think she would again.
"Mum and Dad said you're sick," Daisy says quietly while Henley is distracted. "When will you get better?"
The question catches Molly off guard but it doesn't pain her to answer it. It's the truth, she is sick. "I'm not sure," she says.
"You don't look sick."
"It's a different kind of sick," Lily answers. "You'll understand when you're older."
"Oh," Daisy mumbles. "What kind of sick is that?"
Molly smiles and leans closer. "I'm poorly in my mind." She touches her forehead and Daisy becomes confused. "You know how some really bad things happened to me? Well, sometimes they make me extra sad and I don't know how to cope with them. So, this is the only place that I can try and stop those bad things from making me sad again."
"How sad do they make you?"
"Really sad," Molly says breathlessly. "But I'm better today after seeing you." Molly cups Daisy's face in her hand and smiles. "And I'll keep getting better."
Something in Daisy's eyes changes. Molly stares in shock as Daisy starts to cry and then the little girl wraps her arms around her. Molly holds her closely, prompting Henley to run around to the other side of the bed and join in.
"I want you to come home," Daisy whispers. "I don't want you to be sad anymore."
"I want you to come home too," Henley says.
Molly closes her eyes and takes a deep breath as she holds their heads. When she opens them, she finds Pam and Daniel staring at her with concern. Home means something different to Molly and they know that.
"Say your goodbyes now," Pam says. "It's time to leave."
"Can we come back tomorrow?" Daisy asks.
"Yeah, we'll come back after school," Daniel says. "Molly needs some rest. You've overwhelmed her enough for one day."
Daisy groans and her arms tighten around Molly's shoulders. "I'll take really good care of your book," she says.
"Thank you," Molly says. "Be good, okay? Both of you."
"Bye, Molly," Henley says as he waves and turns towards the door.
They wait next to the door with their books in their arms but Pam and Daniel don't seem to move that way.
"Lily can you take the kids outside for a minute? We'll be out shortly."
Lily nods and waves goodbye to Molly as she opens the door and ushers the children into the hallway. Molly moves further down the bed and she sits on the end to stroke Shiloh as her foster parents attempt to act subtle.
"We've spoken with your Principal," Pam says delicately. "He's going to talk to the board tomorrow about extending your absence to two weeks."
"We can appeal for longer but that's up to you," Daniel says.
"Your social worker has scheduled a meeting for Wednesday. She might want to talk to you."
They exchange a look, one that Molly knows well. It's a look every adult wears before they summon the courage to give her bad or life-changing news.
"What?" Molly says.
"Nothing," Pam says, eyeing Daniel with caution.
"The FBI have contacted you, haven't they?" Molly whispers.
"Yeah," Daniel says, ignoring Pam's glare. "Because of the situation in Utah they want you to be prepared."
"I'm not leaving," Molly says.
"We don't want you to leave," Pam says. "We want you to be safe, though. We knew about the situation before we agreed to be your foster parents, we made that choice knowing there was a chance you'd be taken from us abruptly. If the FBI believe that you're in danger then you should listen and consider-"
"I have done everything they asked!" Molly bursts out angrily. "I stayed off social media, I didn't travel outside the city, I go to school and I go home. And he still found me. It doesn't matter where I go, it doesn't matter how far they take me, he's two steps behind."
"This doesn't mean that he's found you," Daniel says. "It just means that he might know that you're in California. Or it could be coincidence."
"But the FBI won't take the chance," Molly mutters. "What about Riley? Have they told his parents?"
They stare a little harder. It's been a while since she's said his name and it might be the first time that her foster parents have ever heard her speak it. They read her suicide note and the note she left for him so they know how much he means to her, how much he'll always mean to her.
"We're not sure," Pam says. "The social worker might. The FBI are doing everything in their power to catch him, alright? But if they say that it's not safe for you to stay here then as your legal guardians we have a duty to comply."
"I know all about the duty," Molly says quietly. "But I'm older now, I'm almost eighteen. I can't rely on foster families forever."
"Is that what you're worried about?" Daniel says sensitively as he walks closer to her. "That once you turn eighteen we'll throw you out? We're not blind, Molly. Do you think we haven't noticed how much Daisy adores you? How much you adore her? You will always be welcome at our home for as long as you need it."
"Even after everything I've put you through?" Molly says.
Daniel smiles. "Being ill isn't your fault. We won't pretend to know what you're going through but we want you to know that you're not alone. You've never been alone."
Molly turns away and wipes a tear that slips through. "I guess I'm still getting used to that."
"Getting yourself better is the priority," Pam says. "We don't want you to worry about anything else."
It's easier said than done, there's a lot for Molly to worry about. She's curious about her treatment though, even hopeful. Her mind is becoming clearer, before it was all fuzzy and disoriented. But now she can process things and say things that she's never had the courage to do. And the only thing that has changed is the dog. Well, maybe not just the dog. There is something else that has changed in her life, too. There is a knock on the door and Alan enters in his white jacket with the clipboard dangling from his fingertips.
"I'm really sorry to interrupt but it's time for Molly's session."
"We'll be back tomorrow," Daniel tells Molly. "Call us if you need anything."
"I will, thank you."
Alan stands against the wall and waits for them to leave. Molly smiles as she hears Henley's laughter through a gap in the door.
"They're great kids," Alan says. "Very energetic."
"They have their moments," Molly says. She stands up and walks over to one of the lounge chairs in the middle of the room, Alan sits opposite her. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"
"For now it's just a general chat. I wanted to talk to you about medication."
"No," Molly says immediately.
"I know you've refused medication before but I really think it could help. It says in your records that you've been prescribed Sertraline before but they switched you to Prozac after one month."
"That was over a year ago," Molly says. "When I had a breakdown and was hospitalized. I haven't taken any medication since."
"Okay, is there a reason? Did you not like the way they made you feel or were there physical side effects?"
"Neither. I didn't feel any different on them."
"But those drugs helped you to recover, to get better to leave hospital?"
"I don't want to take any drugs. That's my right and you can't force me."
"Okay," he says, writing something down. "Can I have a look at your wrists?"
Molly nods and rolls her sleeves up. The bruises are still there, they've gotten worse since yesterday, they've turned darker and gotten bigger. Charlie grabbed onto her so hard that she's surprised he didn't fracture them.
"Any pain?" he asks her.
She shakes her head. "Only when I touch them."
"Okay, good. How are you sleeping?"
"Fine," she lies. "Someone tried to break into my room this morning though."
He smiles warmly. "That can happen sometimes. Just make sure you always lock your door. There's a lounge just down the hall, have you been there yet?"
"No," she says.
Alan looks up and sighs. "You're not a prisoner to this room, Molly. There's a reason we don't lock them from the outside. You might find it helpful to give yourself a change of scenery. There's a television in there, a small library and even a soccer table."
"There's a television in here," Molly whispers.
"Which is never on. Why are you afraid to turn the television on?"
Molly clenches her teeth. "I'm not."
Alan leans back in his chair and sits straight. "Turn it on then."
"Fine."
Molly takes a deep breath and walks towards the screen at the back of the room. It's fixed to the wall so she can't move it, or turn it away. She presses the 'on' button and watches as it comes to life with moving pictures of people dancing in a club. She walks back over to the chair and sits back down. He's analysing her response.
"What are you afraid to see?" he whispers.
"Nothing."
"Molly, put your shoes on, I want to show you something."
She's confused but she doesn't argue. She finds her sneakers and ties the laces, then she grabs her jacket from her bag. Alan opens the door for her and she clips Shiloh's leash to his harness before following him into the quiet hallway.
Molly becomes even more confused when Alan leads her towards the exit of the hospital. He's ditched the clipboard and his long, white jacket and is wearing a sweater with dark blue jeans. He takes her across the parking lot and they walk along the sidewalk for a while. It's a bright, clear day and the warmth from the sun is heaven against Molly's skin. She keeps her jacket folded over her arm and watches the cars whizz past her. One car with tinted windows suddenly pulls over just in front of her and she freezes in fear. Her paranoia is escalating and it's only when a woman exits the car that Molly carries on walking.
"One fear at a time," Alan says.
They walk for a while and then Molly sees the park. It looks busy, filled with families that are enjoying the weekend sunshine. She suddenly realizes what he's doing and she doesn't know if she can go any further. She stops at the pathway into the park and Alan waits for her patiently.
"It'll be okay," he assures her. "I'm right here."
She takes a step forward, followed by another, and she doesn't even notice that she's walked into the park until it's too late. Her breathing becomes shallow, her palms begin to sweat along with her forehead. Is she having a panic attack? She isn't sure. Shiloh nudges her leg with his nose and she bends down to stroke him. He places his head into her throat and she smiles.
Alan sits down on a bench at the edge of the pathway. It takes Molly extra time to get there, but she does, somehow.
"Why did you bring me here?" Molly demands.
"Because if you want a life, Molly, if you want to live, then you've got to face this." Alan scrolls his eyes around the park, observing the various groups of families that are scattered around the field. "You've got to face seeing them, hearing them, experiencing your life with them."
"What if I can't?"
Molly stares at a family close to them. The mother is braiding her daughter's hair on a picnic blanket while the father is teaching his son how to throw a frisbee. They look so happy, so united, like nothing in the world could break them apart.
"There is joy in what you're seeing," Alan says. "Happiness is infectious. If you observe it just long enough you'll find yourself at its mercy."
Alan and Molly both look at a man that is running across the field while chasing his dog. The man falls over and face plants the ground, while the dog speeds off without a care. The man gets up and shakes his head. Alan laughs, and Molly follows, her laughter is quieter, but it's there.
"See?" he says. "Was that scary?"
"No," she says.
She didn't think it would be this easy, this relaxing. Just to sit in a park with the sun beating down on her and not wanting to run away. The faces are strangers but she discovers herself being comforted by their joy.
"Looks fun, doesn't it? You could bring Daisy and Henley here one day. You can show Henley that there's nothing to fear, too."
"I'd like that," Molly says, she's about to say something else but a familiar voice interrupts her.
"Molly?"
Molly's heart almost stops as Charlie appears on the pathway to her right. His head blocks out the sunlight and they smile at each other. A dark-haired girl stands behind him, looking bored as she stares around the park.
"What are you doing here?" he says. "Do the doctors know you've escaped?"
Alan leans forward and gives a small wave. Charlie nods as he understands. "Didn't recognise you without your white coat," Charlie says.
"Hm."
"Case study?" Charlie whispers.
Molly nods. "Is that your sister?"
"Yeah, Jaz, come here." Charlie waves her over and the girl reluctantly walks towards them. "Jaz, this is Molly."
His sister smiles, she's a pretty girl with long, dark curls and freckles around her nose. "The girl you saved?"
Charlie rubs his jaw as he laughs awkwardly. "Sorry, I tell her everything."
"It's fine," Molly says. "It's nice to meet you."
"We were headed to the mall but it's closed, something to do with the plumbing. So, we're playing some soccer instead." Charlie tightens the rubber soccer ball in his arm and then turns to leave, only to turn back. "You want to join?"
"Uh. . ." Molly looks at Alan, who is scanning the horizon with a grin. He nods gently and Molly takes a deep breath. "Sure."
"I'm really good at soccer," Jaz tells her as Molly walks out onto the field. "But Charlie likes to think he's the best." She rolls her eyes and Molly laughs.
"I think no such thing," Charlie says. "Jaz, go long!"
Jaz gasps and runs along the field; Charlie watches her movements and then kicks the ball towards her direction. The ball flies past her and she runs harder to try and intercept it, she stops it and then kicks it back, but it doesn't even reach halfway. She runs to it and then turns to Molly's direction.
"Here, Molly."
Molly stops the ball with her foot and looks at Charlie, he's walking forwards, predicting she won't be able to kick it very far. Molly backs up several paces and then soars the ball over Charlie's head.
"I underestimated you," he shouts as he turns.
Molly smiles to herself and Jaz laughs. He kicks it back to Jaz and then she kicks it back to Molly, this goes on for a while, each of them becoming more competitive. She doesn't know how much time passes but she never wants it to end. She's having fun, too much fun and nothing about it is painful or scary.
Molly decides to have a break and she sits down on the nearest bench. Charlie is teaching Jaz how to pass the ball with her head and he tells her to keep practising before jogging over. He sits beside her and she tries her best not to look at him. What are the chances that they'd meet like this again? It's been barely twenty-four hours since he left the hospital, since they said goodbye, and somehow they are thrown together once more.
"Your sister is great," Molly says.
"She's nine next week, nine going on nineteen," Charlie sighs. "My mum hasn't organized anything yet, I'm not even sure if she remembered."
"How could she forget?"
"She's under a lot of stress with her job, she's a prosecutor for the state and she's currently working on a murder trial that involves children." Charlie clenches his jaw. "She tries not to bring it home but this one's getting to her."
"She must be a strong woman to have to deal with that," Molly says. "What about your father? You haven't mentioned him."
"He died seven years ago," Charlie says.
"Oh, sorry."
"Don't be sorry," he says, biting on his lip. "I'm glad he's dead."
Molly's heart stings when she hears that. "You don't really mean that."
"I do. My father was a serial rapist. His victims were young girls who he basically terrified into not speaking out about it. Eventually they did and there was this huge trial, he got found guilty and he was killed in prison not long after."
Molly frowns. She knows that monsters come in all shapes and forms but she never imagined they'd have children, that they could care like that. Charlie's father was a monster, as evil as the one that took her family, and it's beginning to feel like the world isn't short of them.
"Jaz was too young to remember him thankfully but I got stuck with all the father-son memories and I really wish I didn't. I want to protect her from it for as long as I can."
"That's probably for the best," Molly agrees.
"I just made this really morbid, didn't I?" Charlie looks at her and laughs with embarrassment. "My bad. Let's talk about something a bit cheerier."
"Are you guys playing or having a nap!" Jaz yells across the field.
"Never mind," Charlie says. "We've been summoned."
"I knew it was too good to be true," Molly says with a smile.
"I don't know where she gets her energy from, it's like playing with a machine."
Jaz kicks the ball to Charlie and Charlie drifts closer to Molly with a mischievous, playful expression. The wind starts to pick up and Molly folds her arms as she shivers. Charlie is unphased, he's wearing a white shirt with sweatpants and even though it's a casual look, Molly still finds him attractive.
"You gonna pass me that?" Molly says.
"Come and get it."
Molly narrows her eyes and walks towards him. He softly moves the ball around her and teases her as she attempts to take it. Her feet trip over something, either his foot or the ball, and she bounces forwards. She takes deep breaths as Charlie holds her still, as his hand rests on her waist. It's the first time they've touched each other since her breakdown on the hospital bed and her entire mind becomes fuzzy. Charlie is just looking at her, breathing, distracting himself with the same thoughts too. He pulls his hand back slowly and Molly uses the opportunity to extract the ball. She takes off towards Jaz as Charlie pursues her and Jaz takes the ball off her. Charlie picks his little sister up and spins her in the air but when he puts her down his attention is somewhere else.
Charlie rubs his face as he fixates on a figure that's approaching them across the field. The figure becomes nearer and Molly recognises the brunette woman from a few days ago at school. It's his girlfriend.
"What's she doing here?" Jaz mutters.
"I'm not sure," Charlie says.
"Hey," Aubrey says. She looks at Molly for a moment before turning back to Charlie. "I hope I'm not interrupting."
"You are," Jaz says.
"Jaz!" Charlie hisses. "No, it's fine, what's up?"
"You said you were going to the park instead and I needed some air." Aubrey stares at Molly, edging closer. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Aubrey and you are...?"
Molly is speechless, even to give her name. Aubrey is beautiful. She's tall, with tanned, oily skin that shines underneath the sunlight. She wears a light blue sundress with white shoes that spiral in patterns up her ankles. Her hair is glossy and vibrant and the wind floats her curly ends around her face. Molly stares at the blended colours of eyeshadow on Aubrey's eyelids and she wonders how she did that.
"Molly," Charlie says quietly. "She's a friend."
"Interesting, you've never mentioned her before." She purses her lips as she runs her eyes up and down Molly's body. "I can see why."
"We're just playing soccer," Charlie says.
"I think I'm gonna go," Molly says sheepishly. "Nice to meet you."
"Likewise," Aubrey says.
Jaz waves to Molly sadly and Molly waves back before turning to leave. She hears Charlie calling her name and he catches up to her quickly.
"I'm really sorry," he says. "She can be a bit. . . well, she doesn't get on with new people. It was good to see you enjoying yourself."
"I did," Molly says. "It's getting late, I need to head back anyway. But thank you, that's the most fun I've had in a long time."
"Sure," he says. "Take care."
"You, too."
She holds his eyes before she has to tear herself away. She doesn't know if he's still there or if he's returned to Aubrey but she's scared to look. She greets Shiloh as she reaches the bench and Alan looks up at her with a sly grin.
"What?" she says.
"If I was a girl and a guy like that came running after me then I don't think I'd be able to turn away."
Molly laughs. "You're lucky you're not a girl then."
"Hm. You ready?"
"Yeah," Molly says with a light sigh. She looks at Charlie one last time as he talks with Aubrey while Jaz kicks the ball around the field by herself. "Let's go."
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