Delilah's POV

Ever since what happened at the park with Luke, I haven't seen him again. Considering I live only a few houses down, I thought I'd see him daily. It's perfectly fine that I haven't seen him though. He was extremely rude, and I'm not sure I want to deal with his harsh attitude again.

But I haven't stopped thinking about him.

I want to know why he doesn't speak and why he seems so angry at the whole world. I wonder what happened to him. Something must have happened to make him this way.

So when I'm at work and see his folder lying open on the front desk, I debate whether or not to take a quick look inside. I glance quickly at the paper on top, but look away after a second. I shouldn't do this. I can't look into Luke's personal information. But I want to so badly.

I look again, a little longer this time. I quickly read the heading.

Luke Robert Hemmings. 17 years old. Birthday July 16, 1996.

He's my age? He seemed to be 19 years old. He definitely doesn't look, or act, 17 years old.

I look quickly again, this time at the diagnosis section.

Severe depression. Violent mood swings. Anx-

“Luke, you can come in now,” someone says, which causes me to look up quickly.

Is Luke here?

I see him walk across the waiting room, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his head down. He's dressed in all black like the last time I saw him, except this time he's not covered in sand.

How did I not notice he was here? What if he saw me looking at his file?

My heart rate speeds up as I realize that Luke may have seen me reading his information. I could get into so much trouble. I didn't read much though, it's not a big deal, right?

Even though I know I shouldn't, I still want to learn more about Luke. I didn't get to finish reading his diagnosis. What if there's reasons for his mental health in his files? There has to be. He can't be a giant secret to everyone.

“Delilah?” I hear Candace ask.

Oh, no. I'm caught. She knows I was reading Luke's files. I'm going to be fired. What if I end up going to jail? Did I violate the law? All I did was look at his birthday and some of his diagnosis. I'm not a criminal.

“Can you come here please?” she says with same cheery smile she always has.

Here it comes.

My stomach gets queasy as I walk over to Candace, and I rub my sweaty palms on my jeans. I never should have looked in that file.

“Y-Yes? What do you need?” I say, trying not to sound as nervous as I feel.

“Luke's folder,” she says.

Oh, my God. She knows. She saw.

I am going to die.

Tell my parents I love them.

“I seem to have misplaced it,” she says. “Would you happen to know where it is?”

I feel my heart rate slow down, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

She doesn't know.

“It's on-” I start to say. But this is my chance to find out about Luke. “No, I haven't seen it. Do you want me to look in your room?”

“That'd be great! Thank you! Come on in!”

I smile at Luke when I walk past him, but he doesn't even look my way. He stares up at a painting on the wall, his gaze frozen on it.

He's the same as he was last time I saw him. I guess I expected that. But I thought maybe he'd be different.

I go over to the desk in the corner and start rummaging slowly through the drawers. I want to stay in here for as long as I can. I listen to what Candace is saying and look up every minute or two to see Luke's responses. I don't want to make it too obvious that I'm eavesdropping.

“So, Luke, how have you been?” Candace asks him.

He shrugs.

“Your father told me about last night. Has that happened before?”

He nods.

What happened last night? I wonder if it was something bad. There's so many possibilities.

“Want to tell me how you feel when it happens?” she asks. Her tone is like the typical therapist. It's overly perky.

He shakes his head no.

“Have you ever told anyone when it happens?”

He shakes his head no again.

“Well, I can't help you unless you tell me.”

He stays frozen. He cracks his knuckles nervously and chews on his bottom lip.

“You've got to try if you want to get better, Luke.”

Luke looks over at me, and I quickly look into the desk drawer. I hope he didn't see me watching him.

I look back up to see him writing on the white board. Candace smiles and seems surprised that Luke is actually writing.

He lifts it up to show what he's written.

When it happens, I hate everything and everyone and I just want to ruin everything.

“Why do you want to ruin everything?” Candace asks.

He thinks for a second and rubs the back of his neck. He hesitantly writes something on the board.

Because everything has ruined me.

Candace leans back in her chair, probably thinking about Luke's answer. I know I'm thinking about it.

My hatred and curiosity for Luke has suddenly changed. I now feel extremely sorry for him. He feels ruined, and here I am trying to figure out why. What a horrible thing to do. I'm regretting coming in here. It's Luke's personal business, I shouldn't interfere with it. I wish I never looked into his folder or came into this room. I'm about to get up and leave when Candace starts talking.

“Well, Luke,” she says. “What you experienced was an anger attack. Do you know what that is?”

He shakes his head.

Since working here, I've found out a few things about mental health. And I know exactly what Luke is experiencing. There's been many patients who experience them, but they're usually older. I feel bad that Luke has to go through all this, and he's my age. I can't even imagine what it's like.

“It probably felt like I panic attack, and I know you have those, too. It happens when you get overly upset about something. It's like the anger just explodes out of you. It has nowhere to go but out. And you probably feel like you have no control over yourself when it happens, which is normal. I'm going to put you on another pill once a day to see if that helps. You can try that for two weeks, and you should feel a difference.”

Another pill? How many does he take?

I can't stay in here any longer. I wish I didn't find out these things. I feel so selfish for wanting to snoop into Luke's personal business. It's his life, not mine. I should just let him be.

I walk out of the room and return with Candace's folder, telling her I forgot I had seen it on the front desk. Luke watches me intently as I walk out of the room, and I can feel his eyes piercing through me.

Once I leave, I sit down in one of the plush waiting room chairs. I relax for a few minutes to think about what just happened.

Luke experiences panic and anger attacks. I thought he just had anger problems, but he has so much more. Something has caused him to be how he is. All I can think about is what he wrote on the white board.

Everything has ruined him, so he's trying to ruin everything.

It suddenly makes sense why he's so rude. I bet he feels like everyone is out to get him, or maybe he thinks everyone will hurt him.

And just thinking about what Luke may be going through hurts my heart. Luke is suffering.

Luke definitely is not a simple person. He has many things going on in his mind, and I feel like he's fighting a war with himself.

I hope he wins.

idk if i like this update but i hope you did. this was kinda just to show that delilah's perspective of luke is different than when she first met him.  and to show that luke is trying yay luke, 4 for you

next update will be reallyyyyy good and you'll find out more about luke ok

ily

-ashley