Present, 2022

(30)

Weekend, hurry up and come soon!

Weekend, hurry up and come soon!

WEEKEND, HURRY UP AND COME SOON!!!

Chanyeol has been reciting this mantra in his mind for 2 days straight now. It's only Tuesday today. Why does time fly so slow!? Can't Saturday arrive early so that he can spend the vacation with Baekhyun on the private island already?

"AAAAARRGH!"

Chanyeol aggressively drops the deadlifts he's pulling up on the ground it echoes around the gym. Ignoring the people shooting him with weird stares, Chanyeol grabs his water bottle and storms out of the place.

Weekend, hurry up and come soon!

Weekend, hurry up and come soon!

WEEKEND, HURRY UP AND COME SOON!!!

His mental chanting doesn't stop on Tuesday. He does it every day, basically. During grocery shopping, taking a shit, driving to work, making presentations in the office, eating dinner, sleeping, doing the laundry, playing online games at home, running on the treadmill, and packing his stuff for the trip.

And then next thing he knows, it's already Friday. His awaited rendezvous with Baekhyun will finally happen tomorrow. They're finally going to the sea!

"Good morning! Hello~ Hi!"

Chanyeol lively greets the people coming out of the elevator as soon as it opens. He steps inside the empty space and hums a tune his ears can only hear, pressing the button to the 6th floor. By the time the doors are about to close, someone gets through at the last minute, riding with Chanyeol heading to a similar floor.

"Hi. Morning."

It's of course, none other than Byun Baekhyun.

"Hey handsome," Chanyeol greets back, wiggling his fingers flirtatiously and smiling at the gorgeous man. His good mood becomes a hundred times better, seeing the apple of his eye first things first in the morning. What a super lucky day.

"You're fifteen minutes early," Baekhyun comments, pointing at his wristwatch. "You usually come to work right on time. Excited much?"

Shit, that's the only word Chanyeol can blurt out in his head. Because instead of focusing his gaze at Baekhyun, his eyes instantly land on Baekhyun's wrist. Right exactly on that black embroidery bracelet Baekhyun is wearing.

Why... Why is Baekhyun wearing their friendship bracelet out in the open now!? Does this mean something positive?

"Excited? N-no, I'm not."

Chanyeol swears he could faint and have a heart attack at the same time. He needs to control his smile to the fullest not to get mistaken as a crazy dude.

You've arrived at the third floor. Welcome to...

The elevator door slides open, letting four people in. Baekhyun automatically adjusts back and squishes himself against Chanyeol's right side to give vacancy for the new passengers. Their arms brushing lightly against each other has Chanyeol holding his breath in his lungs.

"Well, well, well~ If this isn't the husbands having their early flirting!"

"We should've taken the next one, Mr. Kim. We interrupted their morning alone time!"

Chanyeol instantly grimaces, rolling his eyes. Such bad timing. Seeing Junmyeon and the company is making his mood sour. They're here again to tease the crap out of him.

"Oh my god! Is that a couple bracelet you guys are wearing?"

Chanyeol stares at his and Baekhyun's similar bracelets. He quickly shoves his hand into his pocket to hide it.

"How cute~ I'm so jealous!"

"I wish my boyfriend would give me a couple item, too."

"Psh. So you two are publicly announcing your gay love now, huh? Hope I don't catch you making out next time!"

"Hey, Kim Junmyeon," Baekhyun mutters.

Chanyeol, as well as everyone in the elevator, get shocked by the abrupt rude call-out. Did Baekhyun really say that!?

"Be honest, do you have a crush on me?"

Baekhyun lays his palm on the older's chest, giving it a nice and slow grope.

"...or do you have a crush on Chanyeol? Why do you keep picking on us, huh?"

Junmyeon gasps, eyes wide, frozen on the spot. He glares at Baekhyun's hand squeezing his man-tiddy.

"Aaaaack! G-get your hand off meee!"

Arriving at the sixth floor, the man scurries out of the elevator together with his group, running for dear life. Baekhyun snorts, shakes his head, and chuckles. Kim Junmyeon's overreactions will always be forever funny.

"That was..."

"Yeah?"

"Liberating," Chanyeol says in a daze.

Baekhyun snickers.

"I just teased him a little."

Grinning, Chanyeol matches his pace as they walk side-by-side in the hallway.

"Yeah? Tease me, too."

"What?"

"You know? Do that to me also. Squeeze-squeeze."

"Haha. You're crazy. Take this!"

"Ouch--ahh, wait! Don't hit me!"

"Come here."

Baekhyun attempts to punch Chanyeol in the tummy but Chanyeol is fast to dodge it away. Instead, he goes behind Baekhyun and wraps his arms around the smaller man's neck, giving him a sloth backhug.

"Ugh, don't cling to me, Chanyeol!"

"But you said, come here."

"Not like this?"

"It's fine. No one's looking~"

"I can seriously throw you on the ground, you know?"

"Oh, really? Try it, then. Haha."

"Get off me, seriously... I can't breathe."

"Say please first."

"Please."

"What shampoo do you use? Your hair smells so good."

"I didn't shower today."

Little did they know, Sehun, who's observing all along, is suspiciously watching them from a far.

"Why do I sense something different about those two?"

*

This is probably the one and only time Chanyeol can confidently say he hates lunch meetings.

Of course, he loves lunch meetings with clients before. Before when a certain Kim Jongin doesn't exist.

"To add more revenue, we'll run the game's ads in one of your live streams. It's a win-win opportunity since you get to play our game, too while our company sponsors that video. What do you think?"

"I think it's great! Tell me more."

"Okay. Then will you check out this feature? Let's see... Our team decided to develop in-game purchases for the weapons available to premium members."

"Uh-huh? I'm listening. Keep talking."

"Have you seen LOVE's newest updates?"

"Of course. As your investor and your number one fan, I'm always keeping myself updated."

Chanyeol could snap the pen in half, glaring at the scene happening two tables away from him.

What the fuck is this Kim Jongin bastard going on and about anyway? He's practically boring holes into Baekhyun's face at how hard he is staring. And why is this guy even sitting like that? It's as if he'll suck Baekhyun's soul at how close he's leaning himself over the table.

"Here. Your iced tea."

By the time Kyungsoo, the restaurant owner, personally serves Chanyeol his cold beverage, the glass of refreshment is right away stolen from his hand. Chanyeol gulps the drink, forcing himself to act nonchalant about Jongin and Baekhyun having an extremely intimate conversation as if they were trapped in their own little bubble.

"Chill, dude. No one's gonna take it away from you," Kyungsoo says, occupying the chair across from an agitated Chanyeol.

"Look. Take a look at your boyfriend shamelessly flirting with my--" Chanyeol cuts himself off before he can blabber something overboard, "Flirting with a business partner. Are you sure you're totally fine with that?"

"Jongin's just being friendly. Relax."

"Friendly? You should put your man on a leash or something."

"No need. He's a good boy now. I trained him well."

Kyungsoo whistles, and Jongin, hearing that sound, instantly straightens up. He runs towards where Kyungsoo is sitting, kneeling down on the floor like an obedient kid.

"You asked for me, hyung?" Jongin says.

Kyungsoo sweetly smiles, petting his boyfriend on the head and giving him a tiny smooch on the lips.

Chanyeol appears cringed and horrified.

"Oh, it's nothing, baby. Why don't you finish up your conversation with Baekhyun already? This guy right here's getting jealous for some reason."

"Okay. Your wish is my command," Jongin tells his lover, shooting Chanyeol a mocking look. He scoffs at the grumpy man and cackles. "What a pussy. Haha."

"W-what did you just say!?" Chanyeol yells, grabbing Jongin by the collar and aggressively shaking him, "You little shit!"

Distracted by the noise, Baekhyun looks up from his laptop and glances at Chanyeol practically strangling a laughing Jongin while Kyungsoo elegantly sips his tea beside them.

"What's up with those guys?"

The door chimes clinging has Kyungsoo standing up from his seat to greet an unexpected visitor. There aren't many customers today so Chanyeol and Baekhyun can freely use Kyungsoo's restaurant as their work area while Jongin gets to hang out with Kyungsoo as well.

"Hey, Kyungsoo! I almost got lost on my way here!"

"Oh, my. You didn't have to come! I know you were very busy in the hospital."

"I'm on break so it's fine. Here, I bought you some snacks from my hometown. Eat them well, okay?"

"Thanks. Oh, I'll introduce you to my boyfriend~ The one I told you about when we were in the military?"

"Kim Jongin? So, where's that hottie?"

Baekhyun freezes, hearing a certain familiar chirpy voice coming from behind him. He must've heard that voice before. He can't be wrong. It's none other than that hyung.

"You alright?" Chanyeol, who has transferred to Baekhyun's table, asks. He peeks at Baekhyun's face. "Did you remember something you left in the office?"

Without answering Chanyeol, Baekhyun turns around to confirm his guess. And he's right.

"Minseok hyung?"

It's his sister-in-law's cousin, Kim Minseok.

Wait. So he's the nurse guy Kyungsoo was talking about? They're friends!?

"Chanyeol, look at that guy."

"Huh? Where?"

"That nurse, Kyungsoo's friend. He's the son of the aunt of the wife of my brother," Baekhyun says. "I used to play with him when I was young."

"So that dude's mother and your sister-in-law's mother are siblings?"

"Yup. But we're not relatives."

Tracing where Baekhyun is looking, Chanyeol spots that someone Kyungsoo and Jongin are having a conversation with. It's a not-so-tall man wearing a scrubs uniform. He has this small, almond face and an unforgettable gummy smile that can light up the room. Fairly enough, that good-looking man sends a flash of recognition in Chanyeol's past memories.

"Kim Minseok? What is he doing here?" Chanyeol mutters.

"You know him? How?" Baekhyun asks, lifting an eyebrow.

Chanyeol quickly averts his gaze.

"Oh, uh. Long story."

"And here we have at this table, my friends from college," Kyungsoo clears his throat and gestures his hand, "Guys, say hello to my dearest military hyung! This is Nurse Kim Minseok."

Kim Minseok enters the scene. Baekhyun looks up to reveal himself while Chanyeol pretends he's busy with something, slumped on his seat.

"Baekhyun? Is that you?" Minseok exclaims, looking carefully at Baekhyun's face. "Wow. It's really you! Small world!"

"Yeah, it's me. I can't believe I'd see you in Seoul after so many years!"

"This kid...! Give your hyung a hug. I almost didn't recognize you!"

Baekhyun stands up, laughs, and embraces the man in question. He and Kim Minseok lived in the same neighborhood back in Bucheon when they were children. He remembers Minseok tagging along with his brother's girlfriend to play with him in their backyard.

"Oh, shut up. Minseok hyung. I'm not a kid anymore."

"Damn, it's been a while. You've grown up so big now! The last time I saw you was when you were in high school!"

"So you work in a hospital in Seoul now?"

"Yeah. I got a job offer."

"Wait, you guys know each other?" Kyungsoo, confused and surprised, asks. "Are you two relatives?"

"Not really? We're not blood-related. He's the cousin of my brother's wife," Baekhyun explains, slinging an arm around the older's shoulder. "So this hyung was that gay friend you were talking about?"

"You told him that!?" Minseok tells Kyungsoo.

"What, it's true. You're queer as fuck."

Chanyeol keeps his head lowered, hiding his face with a menu card.

"And who's this dude with you?" Minseok asks, noticing that suspicious man sitting weirdly in front of Baekhyun.

"Oh, him? This is my--" Baekhyun coughs, looking away and scratching his neck. "Ahem. This is Chanyeol. A guy from work."

A guy from work, Chanyeol repeats in his head, feeling offended. So instead of getting promoted to someone special, he's been demoted to a mere colleague real quick?

"Chanyeol? You don't mean, Park Chanyeol, do you?" Minseok asks Baekhyun. "That flirty Casanova Park Chanyeol from S University?"

"Wait. You know him, hyung?" Baekhyun says, "He's actually Park Chanyeol."

At the mention of his name, Chanyeol slowly reveals himself and hesitantly smiles.

"Heeey~"

"Oh, my god. It's really you, Chanyeol! Do you still remember me? Fairy_99?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Wow. You haven't changed that much after ten years."

"Hehe... I know, right? You, too."

"How have you been after, you know, we parted ways?"

"Oh! That? I've been good! Much better!"

"Let me guess. You're still single?"

Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, and Jongin serve as an audience for the two.

"Well, you could say that. I do have high standards. I don't just date anyone."

High standards, Baekhyun repeats in his mind, feeling offended. What the hell is this jerk being cocky for?

"Pfft. Hahaha! Is that a compliment about me or what?"

"Whatever floats your boat?"

"Oh boy, you're still as cheeky as ever. This is what I really liked about you!"

"Wait, wait. I'm so confused right now," Jongin interrupts, rubbing his forehead. He glares at everyone in the room. "How'd you guys know each other!?"

"This guy," Minseok points at Chanyeol, "Is my ex-boyfriend."

"WHAT!!!?" Baekhyun and Kyungsoo scream, utterly shocked.

"Yeah, we used to date back in college. Right, Yeollie?"

Chanyeol covers his face, totally flustered and embarrassed.

"Oh, fuck."

The air is tense, quiet, and heavy. No one dares to speak. Seated in a long table, everyone, excluding Jongin, has their mouth shut. Jongin is acting as the detective in charge.

"So you're telling me, that Minseok, the cousin of Baekhyun's sister-in-law, happens to be Kyungsoo's military friend. Baekhyun, Chanyeol's best friend and husband, didn't know all along that Minseok is Chanyeol's ex-boyfriend? Not to mention the fact that Kyungsoo and Chanyeol used to hook up before behind Baekhyun's back, also without Minseok knowing about it!?"

"Hey, don't phrase it like that!"

"Chanyeol's not my husband."

"Jongin, that set-up ended an eternity ago. Don't bring up the past!"

"Baekhyun, you're best friends with my ex?"

"Baekhyun has nothing to do with this!"

"Chanyeol, how could you fuck Baekhyun's cousin?"

"He is not my cousin!"

"Kyungsoo, I thought you were my friend. But you hooked up with my ex?"

"I didn't know he was your ex."

"Hey, we only went out for a couple of months. I barely even remember it happening!"

"Don't tell me you were also Chanyeol's ex, Kyungsoo?"

"No, I'm not. Jongin's my ex."

"Are you sure you didn't go out with Chanyeol before we got back together?"

"Never. You can ask Baekhyun."

"So basically, Chanyeol cheated on Baekhyun."

"I did what!?"

"Damn, I thought Minseok dated Chanyeol!"

"Oh, god..."

"Weren't Kyungsoo and Chanyeol fuck buddies!?"

"STOP SAYING THAT!"

"Excuse me, are you open?"

The fuss dissipates upon the arrival of a family of customers at the restaurant. Everyone suggested meeting up next time and having a barbecue party so that they could bond, clear up some past misunderstandings, and celebrate new friendships but Chanyeol doubts he would come. He has an inkling that Baekhyun has no plans on coming too, let alone interact with the group again, considering the annoyed expression on his face when they left the establishment. Baekhyun must've been feeling uncomfortable and irritated since earlier, the reason why he hasn't spoken a word after they arrived at the office until it was already time to go home.

Chanyeol feels devastated. Are they back to square one? Is Baekhyun upset because of what happened?

This is truly exhausting. They just made up and now they're fighting again.

After following Baekhyun to the exit as soon as they get off work, Chanyeol also follows the man to wherever he is heading to.

"Baekhyun..."

"What?"

"Wait for me, don't walk too fast."

This reminds Chanyeol of the past when Baekhyun caught him interacting with Kyungsoo at the grocery store and Chanyeol had to confess their relationship to him. It was the day when Baekhyun and Kyungsoo first met in college. Somehow, this situation seems similar to that moment too, and Chanyeol feels the need to explain himself to Baekhyun.

"Why are you still following me? Go home already, Chanyeol."

"I'm not following you. This is my way home, too."

"Really? Why don't you drive your car, then?"

"I didn't bring my car."

They pass by the parking lot, walk down the street, and wait for the traffic lights to turn green, before crossing the pedestrian lane. They drop by the convenience store, bought some ice cream, and make a roundtrip to the sidewalk, before finally stopping on a playground.

They're just two men in suits, eating popsicles and riding the swing that is too small for them.

Testing the waters, Chanyeol clears his throat, sways himself on the swing a little, and kicks a stray pebble under his shoe.

"Look... I was 21 when I met Kim Minseok through an app. That app was like, you know, for meeting people like us."

"You mean people from the LGBTQ community?"

"Precisely, yeah."

"Was it the same app where you met Kyungsoo?"

"Uhm, yes. You could say that."

Chanyeol side-eyes Baekhyun briefly, and when the other doesn't comment anymore, he continues.

"That was the first time I met a gay person. I thought of Minseok as an experienced friend so I went out with him for about six months."

"You were dating a guy when we were college sophomores and I had no idea."

"You see, I was still exploring myself and I was curious about stuff, and Kim Minseok was there to help me out. And then he graduated. We broke up. Fast forward, I found out later that Kim Minseok knew Baekbeom hyung and that he was a cousin of your brother's girlfriend. I was shocked but that was it. And then I forgot all about it and moved on with my life."

After listening to the story, Baekhyun gives Chanyeol a scornful look.

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"I..." Chanyeol grips the chain of the swing, letting out a dry chuckle. "I supposed you just, maybe, wanted to know the whole story."

"You should've shared this with me ten years ago."

"Would you have cared back then?"

That remark leaves Baekhyun speechless.

"You didn't know I liked men until we were 23. My fault for keeping it a secret from you," Chanyeol says, "Besides, how could I tell you something like this? You were busy dating when we were in 2nd year of college. What was her name again... That Christian girl who took your virginity?"

Chanyeol laughs, and Baekhyun hates it. It sounds fucking sarcastic.

"You said you wanted to know what's going on inside my head, right? You told me to be honest so I simply shared this with you now."

"Well, I don't wanna hear it now," Baekhyun pauses when he realizes he said it wrongly. He shakes his head and smiles, "Ah, no. Let me rephrase that. What I'm meaning to say is I'm glad I heard it now. For the first time in forever, I met one of your exes. Isn't that amazing?"

Chanyeol stares hard, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Why does it seem like you're being sarcastic to me?"

"You went sarcastic first for mentioning my ex-girlfriend."

"Is that a big deal?"

"I don't know, you tell me. How many exes have you got anyway?"

"Why would you ask me that question all of a sudden?"

"No reason. It's just unfair that you know mine and I know nothing about yours. In case you forgot, I've got three exes and I introduced them to you. All of them. How about you, though? Did you even do the same to me?"

"Shut up! Don't talk about your exes right in my face. And I won't do the same to you, either."

"Why not, huh? Come to think of it. What if I met someone outside and it was already your ex? What if they were just around me, who knows? Should I greet them or what?"

Now it's Chanyeol's turn to fall speechless. When he recovers, he looks in the other direction and rubs his neck.

"Why are we even talking about those people? It's all over now. We were young back then. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Those people?"

"They're not worth mentioning anymore. They're already in the past. They've got their own lives now. We've got our own, too."

"Sure! You're right."

"So, are we good now?"

"Did you have sex with Kim Minseok or not?"

"What?"

"Did you two sleep together? Like what you did with Kyungsoo?"

A pang creeps into Chanyeol's heart. His mouth hangs open as he stares at Baekhyun, wide-eyed. He exhales, avoiding the question. He scoots closer and tries to touch Baekhyun's arm.

"Baekhyun, let's not look back on the past and just focus on what's ahead of us, okay?"

Baekhyun dodges his hand away.

"Answer me. Did you fuck Kim Minseok?"

Oh my god, Chanyeol groans and pulls his own hair out of frustration. He releases a deep, agonizing sigh before finally answering.

"Yeah... But that was a long time ago."

"So he was your first... guy."

"Yes."

"Figures."

Baekhyun stands up and abandons his swing. He throws his popsicle stick on the ground and leaves Chanyeol behind.

"Hey, wait! Where are you going?"

"Somewhere without you around."

"I didn't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday. How much more what happened almost ten years ago?"

"You cared enough to remember you slept with him."

"Of course, I would remember that, at least. He was my ex-boyfriend. We spent some time together."

"And here I thought those people are not important anymore?"

"Listen. We're just going in circles now."

"Your fault."

"Alright, if that's what you wanna talk about! Fine. So what if I had sex with my ex when I was 21? Couldn't I do that with someone I was dating?"

"I didn't say that. You could do anything with your dick for all I care."

"I see... I understand... Because you also did it with your ex, right?"

"What?"

"You fucked that girl in our shared dorm room back in college when I was away, remember? She was your first!"

"Hah. The audacity for you to bring that up!"

"Oh, so if it's about you, I can't open my mouth. But when it's about me, you can say whatever you want?"

"It's because you're so unfair!"

"Unfair? How come? It's you who's being unfair to me."

Again, Chanyeol follows Baekhyun's pace and chases Baekhyun before the man can escape. But he doesn't actually close their gap as he keeps a good meter between them.

"How long are you gonna keep following me?" Baekhyun says, marching down the street and peering over his shoulder, "Just leave me alone!"

"What are you getting sulky about anyway?" Chanyeol answers, matching Baekhyun's steps. He lets out an exhausted sigh. "Look... I'm sorry, alright? It's all my fault. I was the one to blame. Don't get mad anymore."

"Don't apologize. I'm not mad."

"If not, then are you jealous?"

Baekhyun suddenly stops walking.

"What?"

Chanyeol also halts before he can almost bump against Baekhyun's back.

"You're jealous, aren't you?"

Baekhyun faces him, balling his hands into fists.

"Jealous? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Shit, Chanyeol mutters to himself, cowering, receiving Baekhyun's death glare in the middle of the streets. Did he say something to enrage Baekhyun more? Thank god, there are no passersby around, no one's gonna witness him getting beat up into a pulp.

"Back in the restaurant, you have no idea how I badly wanted to get out of that place as soon as possible," Baekhyun says, "Hearing about your past coming out of your mouth and having to sit between Do Kyungsoo and Kim Minseok, it was suffocating."

It was as if the dark skies have opened right now to enlighten Chanyeol and let his spirit ascend with the angels, hearing this statement from Baekhyun. It surprises Chanyeol that he's still able to stand on the pavement judging by how his knees are melting like jelly. His heart is hammering like crazy. His throat feels dry. The way Baekhyun is looking deeply into his eyes makes his insides mushy and warm. It's mesmerizing yet intimidating.

"I hate it, Chanyeol. The fact that I've got to breathe the same air with the people you've once slept with. It makes me sick."

Chanyeol opens his mouth but no voice comes out.

"Am I jealous? Go figure it out."

And then Baekhyun turns his heel around, proceeds to walk again, and leaves for real.

Flabbergasted, mind blank, and head empty, Chanyeol is left frozen on his spot, letting Baekhyun get away until the guy passes the street lamp. A minute later, Chanyeol, at last, regains the strength in his legs to follow Baekhyun when he arrives at the bus stop.

They get on the bus together; Baekhyun sits in the front, two seats behind the driver, while Chanyeol occupies a seat far away in the rear part.

In this point of view, Chanyeol watches the back of Baekhyun's head as how the other's hair gets slightly ruffled because of the wind from the window. He stares at Baekhyun's nape and shoulders, wondering what kind of expression Baekhyun is making right now. Is his face serious like earlier? Are his eyes angry and sharp? Or are his cheeks blushing like what happened in the bathroom that particular night?

Hearing about your past coming out of your mouth and having to sit between Do Kyungsoo and Kim Minseok, it was suffocating.

It must be an unconscious response of his jaw muscles when Chanyeol finds himself grinning like a complete idiot. He is smiling wide that he needs to cover his mouth and hide his face. He is laughing to himself without a sound as Baekhyun's words replay in his subconscious like a broken record.

I hate it, Chanyeol. The fact that I've got to breathe the same air with the people you've once slept with. It makes me sick.

"Haha... Fuck."

Am I jealous? Go figure it out.

"He really said that..."

There's no doubt. Although Baekhyun didn't respond with the exact words, Chanyeol's question is rightfully answered.

"I endured it too, you know."

It was jealousy.

"For a decade, I felt that," Chanyeol continues. He is the first one to break the unintended pause in their conversation since the talk in the playground. He may also have realized just now that he basically took Baekhyun home by following him like a shadow up to his apartment's front door.

"What are you talking about now?"

Without turning around to spare Chanyeol a glance, Baekhyun proceeds on typing the passcode to his door.

"Will you look at me first?"

Chanyeol, who's right behind Baekhyun, accidentally sees the combination.

112792.

Beep. Click.

The door swiftly unlocks.

Chanyeol's eyes widen.

That's his birthday.

So the code to Baekhyun's door is his birthday all this time?

But why? Why did Baekhyun choose to keep that passcode as if his house was still their shared dorm room back in college?

"Fine. Say whatever you wanna say before I get inside."

Sighing, Baekhyun finally faces Chanyeol and shows him a blank and exhausted look as though announcing that he doesn't wanna argue anymore. He just wants to call it a day and sleep.

"Baekhyun."

"What?"

"That's my birthday," Chanyeol points at the door, "The code to your door."

Baekhyun casually raises an eyebrow.

"So?"

"What do you mean, so?"

"You also have my birthday as your laptop's password, right?"

"T-that's... How did you know!?"

"It's been that way since high school, you fool. So don't tell me I can't use your birthday as my door code because you're also using my birthday as your password."

Chanyeol's face slowly turns red. Fuck it. To think that he thought he almost got Baekhyun. It'd be the other way around in the end after all. He was caught red-handed.

"You... didn't happen to open my laptop, did you?"

"Don't worry. I didn't do anything," Baekhyun shrugs. "So. What were you trying to say again?"

"Oh, that."

Chanyeol smiles a painful one.

"Just wanna say that I hate your exes, especially Kim Taeyeon. All of your past girlfriends, honestly. I didn't like any of them. The thought that you've once made love with those women and that they've become a part of your life makes me sick. So don't tell me it's unfair because it's more unfair to me. I had to put up with that fact for 10 years. It was suffocating."

Baekhyun blinks.

That was a hard one. What an unexpected blow. He didn't see it coming.

"Oh, and don't get me started with Kim Jongin. I don't like it when he lingers around you. I badly wanna punch his face every time he gets close to you. I fucking hate it when I remember how that bastard tried making a pass on you. You know why, Baekhyun?"

Chanyeol steps closer to Baekhyun, invading his personal space by whispering into his ear:

"Is it safe to say I've got the same reason why you're getting mad right now?"

And then like he said nothing, he leans back and offers Baekhyun an innocent yet teasing smirk.

"Breathe if you say yes."

Baekhyun releases the tension in his shoulders he doesn't realize he's been carrying. As he locks gazes with Chanyeol, bearing the aftermath of those sincere and expressive eyes, a sense of assurance and relief overcomes him. He seems to forget why he's feeling cranky and irritable in the first place.

He exhales, throwing away his negative energy. He brushes his hair through his fingers and leans more comfortably against the door, returning the smirk Chanyeol is giving him.

"Tch. You and your annoying mouth."

"Pfft. Does this mean I'm off the hook now?"

"Just don't provoke me next time."

Yes! Chanyeol mumbles, doing a fist bump in the air like he was celebrating.

Idiot, Baekhyun rolls his eyes but he's smiling brightly, nevertheless.

"We're still going to the sea tomorrow, right?" Chanyeol asks, just to make sure.

"Yeah, of course. We'll push through."

"You didn't forget it, did you?"

"Nope. I already finished packing yesterday."

"Me, too. I packed my stuff on Tuesday."

"Pfft. That's way too early."

"I was too excited to elope with you, don't blame me."

Baekhyun is late to stop a chuckle from coming out. This is insane. He keeps changing moods on a short period of time, and it's Chanyeol's fault for turning him into such beautiful, puzzled mess of an individual.

"How are we gonna get there, by the way?"

"Big bikes. Kawasaki Ninja, 998cc."

"Shit. You've got to be kidding me!"

"No, like for real. I rented two. Wanna race tomorrow?"

The thrill and exhiliation Baekhyun feels in his veins while driving on the expressway at 120 mph are downright indescribable. It's like his head is flying with the clouds when he overtakes the white SUV in front of him, zooming in like a professional street racer betting his life on the tires.

Damn it, he's catching up again, he says, glimpsing a black motorbike on the side mirror chasing behind him. This should be illegal. Chanyeol can't be this overly competitive!

Pushing down the visor of his helmet, Baekhyun swerves to the right to change lanes. He passes by three more cars on the road so that he can get away from Chanyeol. To his great surprise though, Chanyeol magically appears to his left, speeding up beside him and driving close to his tail. The bastard has the nerve to open his eye shield and wink before overtaking like a pro.

Shit, this is annoying! Baekhyun mutters to himself. Clutching the brakes, he decides to slow down and lie low until Chanyeol realizes he's lagging.

"You okay!?" Chanyeol screams from the other side while still keeping his eyes on the road, "Wanna rest for a bit!?"

Baekhyun smirks, deeming it is the perfect time to get back on track. He pulls the throttle to bolt his way ahead, accelerating at full speed. He swears he just heard Chanyeol screaming profanities before he makes him eat dust.

"FUCK, THAT'S CHEATING, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!"

*

The boat is already waiting by the shore when Chanyeol and Baekhyun arrived at the beach. On the brown sand under the sturdy palm tree is where they parked their big bikes. Sitting on a hammock under its shade, they take a sweet moment to rest and drink some fresh coconut juice.

"Hey, don't forget! I won the race," Baekhyun says, bragging about his victory to Chanyeol. "Have my prize ready ASAP, okay?"

"Yeah, sure..."

Chanyeol can do nothing but immerse himself in a dreamy state. With the beautiful sea in the background, he admires the way Baekhyun attractively takes off his helmet and ruffles his own hair as if it's on slow-mo.

Damn. Baekhyun has no business to be this handsome. Who would have thought that Byun Baekhyun would look this hot in a rider costume? That black leather jacket is made just for him to wear, not to mention those tight, ripped jeans that accentuate his sexy thighs. Chanyeol can spend the rest of the day gazing at Baekhyun and making a list as to why this biker outfit is his most favorite on Baekhyun next to oversized hoodies and suits.

"Hey, Chanyeol! Are you even listening?"

Chanyeol snaps back to reality.

"Huh? Oh! What were you saying again?"

"I said, what are we gonna do next?"

The next agenda is to change into life vests, travel via boat to get to the small island across the sea, go swimming, and then stay the night on the private island to camp, stargaze, and experience simple wildlife. It has been Chanyeol's idea for a mini vacation if ever they got a chance to go on a trip, and Baekhyun has no problems going with the flow as long as it takes him apart from playing computer games at home. After all, it's Chanyeol's job since then to introduce extra-curricular activities and recreational hobbies to him, being the homebody that he is.

"Is he the helmsman?" Baekhyun asks, watching the man load their stuff aboard the vessel. The guy turns on the boat's engine in preparation for the short journey.

"Yeah. He'll take us to the private island fifteen minutes away. It's close, actually," Chanyeol replies. Blocking the sunlight with his hand, he sights the isolated land in the distance. "You know, I'm kinda nervous getting into that boat. Hope I don't get seasick."

"Don't worry. I'll hold your hand the entire ride so you won't cry for Mommy."

"How? Like this?"

Looking at Baekhyun and initiating eye contact with him, Chanyeol catches Baekhyun's free hand and straightens out his fingers one by one. Gentle and experimental, he clings his pinky around Baekhyun's pinky until he's almost getting there. Bravely, he lightly squeezes Baekhyun's palm and slowly sways their linked hands as they stare at each other meaningfully.

"You guys ready!?" the driver of the boat yells.

Baekhyun immediately releases Chanyeol's hand. He glares at Chanyeol like he was threatening the man. "You sneaky bastard," he mutters with gritted teeth. He walks ahead first and picks up his orange life jacket on the sand. "Yes, Sir! Please wait a bit!"

Chanyeol laughs heartily. Shaking his head and smiling like he has just won the lottery, he follows Baekhyun with an extra spring in his steps.

"Pfft. Why, what did I do!?"

The weather is fair today; the skies are clear and the sun is brightly shining. The water is peaceful, as well as the sea breeze that is heading south. After dropping them off at the island, the helmsman reminds them that he will pick them up tomorrow at 11 in the morning. Going further into the woods is strictly prohibited, but other than that, they can do whatever they want on the island.

Chanyeol's task is to pitch in their tents facing the sea and set up his stargazing gear on an elevated place. Meanwhile, Baekhyun prepares their lunch which is barbecue, stir-fried vegetables, and kimchi stew. He sees to it that his and Chanyeol's stations are far away from each other to ensure they'd actually have some work done. He can't have Chanyeol lingering around him, chatting up about some stupid nonsense, and starting up a competition that he'd definitely lose on his own.

Now that he thinks of it, planning for the trip at the last minute, they debated about what to bring and what to do. Chanyeol insisted to go primitive like what he saw in the movies where the protagonists had basically nothing so they had to hunt for food and make shelters out of trees. He suggested that he and Baekhyun should compete who'd survive on the island within the next 24 hours and the loser would grant the winner's wish.

Being disconnected from technology is already death to Baekhyun as it is, how much more if he had to live like a caveman for a day? Obviously, he wasn't wishing for that. He simply just wanted some fresh air away from the city bustle, not to prove he's a man born with primal instincts. He was ready to bail out of the trip when Chanyeol said they could probably bring a gadget or two with them.

And that's what resulted in Baekhyun bringing an electronic stove, some solar-powered lights, a portable air conditioner, a mat with a built-in heater, a water filtration device, and a smart toilet. He almost packed his gaming stuff if not only for Chanyeol reminding him that internet couldn't exist on the island.

Chanyeol brought his fishing rod, telescope, and drone camera with him.

Once done setting up their tents, Chanyeol helps Baekhyun slice the watermelon. They choose to eat by the shore, sitting cross-legged on the blanket laid out on the sand. While eating, the umbrella keeps them shaded from the sun while they bask in the mellow sound of the waves. They chat about whatever comes to mind. Family, work, childhood, games, dreams, friendships, and memories from the past. They talk about everything except for that particular subject as if they were saving it for later.

"Ah... After eating so much, I feel sleepy."

"Me, too..."

"Looking at the sea makes me wanna close my eyes and nap for a bit."

"What's stopping you? Do it, then."

Without further ado, Baekhyun scoots closer, lies down, and rests his head on Chanyeol's muscular thighs.

"Don't move."

The wind blows with a gentle swoosh. The waves hit the shore with a soft splash. Chanyeol's nails dig into the grains of sand as he keeps his back straight. Face blank and body tense, he stares at the beautiful sea while having Baekhyun nestled on his uncomfortable-to-lie-on lap.

It's calm and quiet.

Inhaling a sharp breath, Chanyeol snatches his binoculars beside him and puts it to his eyes. Focusing his gaze at the sea, he searches for anything to distract himself. A boat, a dolphin, an airplane, a mermaid. Anything could appear, he never knows.

"What are you doing?" Baekhyun asks, looking at Chanyeol like the man was a scout ranger watching a bear from afar.

"Just looking at the sea," Chanyeol says, busy with his telescope.

"There's nothing on it."

"I'm seeing a yacht. Oh, and there's also a green flag."

There's actually nothing in plain sight. It's just pure, endless waters. He's just making shit up.

"Is that yacht more important than me?"

Chanyeol freezes.

"Give me that."

Baekhyun tries to steal the binoculars but Chanyeol is firmly holding it. Baekhyun uses more force to grab it from Chanyeol's hands, and when he successfully retrieves it, he throws it away. The binoculars land on the sand.

"Hey! That's expensive," Chanyeol pouts.

Baekhyun snorts and cackles. Chanyeol ignores how Baekhyun literally vibrates on his lap.

"What now?" Chanyeol asks, glaring down at Baekhyun acting like a spoiled brat. "Are you teasing me?"

"Nope."

Reaching above for Chanyeol's cheek, Baekhyun gives it a firm, little squeeze. He stretches the skin like he was playing with slime.

"Ouch! Don't pinch my cheek."

"Pfft, hahaha. So cute."

"I'm not cute."

"Hehe."

"Why're you laughing like crazy?"

"Do I need to have a reason for everything?"

"You're a psycho, seriously."

"You're an ugly Yoda."

"You like me anyway."

They didn't speak a single word after that. They're only looking into the eyes of each other as if they were trying to read each other's minds.

Baekhyun smiles. Chanyeol smiles back.

"You still sleepy?" Chanyeol asks to cease the pause and change the subject. He swats away Baekhyun's fringe blocking his forehead. "Should we move inside the tent?"

"No. I'm not sleepy anymore."

"Then what do you wanna do next?"

"Hmm... Swimming?"

"Sure. Wanna race?"

Doing some warm-ups and standing two meters away from each other, they get to their feet and face the sea, ready to commit and unite with the waves. No need for a high-quality swimming outfit, wearing nothing but beach shorts is enough. Whoever reaches the boulder twenty meters away will be considered the winner.

"It's one-zero!" Baekhyun says, smirking at Chanyeol while stretching his legs and arms, "Be prepared to lose again!"

"Heh. Speak for yourself," Chanyeol retorts back, rotating his shoulders and cracking his neck side-to-side. "I won't go easy on you!"

On your marks. They kneel on the sand.

Get set. They raise their toes.

Go!

After Chanyeol screamed the word 'Go', they both run into the water and swim when it's already deep enough. Chanyeol does the freestyle technique while Baekhyun does the combat sidestroke.

Arriving at the finish line, panting, Chanyeol unsubmerges and checks up on Baekhyun. While keeping himself afloat, he looks around the sea from front to back but he didn't catch any trace of the shorter man.

The coast is literally clear.

"Baekhyun?" Chanyeol calls out, but the seagulls only answer him, "Baekhyun! Where are you?"

Panic and fear rush into him. He swims forward and surveys his surroundings in hopes of spotting Baekhyun's whereabouts. Baekhyun couldn't have cramped his legs, did he? What if a shark had bitten him? What if Baekhyun got washed away by these deep blue waves?

"Baekhyun! Don't joke like that, okay? Show yourself now! BYUN BAEKHYUN!!!"

"I'm here."

Baekhyun suddenly appears, paddling towards Chanyeol like a puppy swimming in a lake.

"Fuck," Chanyeol mutters furiously, hitting the water and splashing Baekhyun on the face with it. "Don't scare me like that, I swear to god!"

"Hehe."

"Don't you 'hehe' me! I thought you already drowned or something!"

"You were swimming so fast so you didn't see me lagging behind you."

"Still, you shouldn't disappear like that, especially in the middle of the sea! Like, hello!? Where should I find you here?"

Baekhyun clings his arms around Chanyeol's shoulders, breathing over Chanyeol's nape and chuckling into the other's ear.

"I lost, alright? You won this round. Congratulations."

"You're so annoying, seriously..."

"Sorry. Don't get mad now, hm?"

Chanyeol's anger immediately subsides. It's really unfair how Baekhyun can easily make him fragile and weak. This is sabotage, honestly. He might have won but he feels like the one who has lost.

He exhales and relaxes his face.

"Haa, fine... You can now get off my back."

"But I'm too lazy to swim on my own."

"Your point?"

"Be my floater instead."

Baekhyun, or any object, is practically weightless when immersed in a body of water so Chanyeol has no trouble carrying him on his back. It's tolerable. The only intolerable thing about swimming topless in this godforsaken position is their bare skins flushed against each other. Baekhyun heavily breathing on his cheek while his arms are coiled around his neck is also arousing. It might enkindle a hidden desire deep within. Good thing Chanyeol's good at practicing self-control.

"Look," Baekhyun says as he points at the rock formation above sea level. "Let's climb up there and then dive into the water. What do you think?"

"You wanna jump off that cliff?" Chanyeol asks, surprised and amused.

"Yeah."

"Aren't you scared?"

"Why would I? I have you with me."

That makes Chanyeol genuinely smile. How can Baekhyun manage to stir up his emotions with such simple words?

"Give me some sort of motivation and I'll take us there."

Baekhyun hugs Chanyeol's neck tighter. He bends lower and pecks him on the cheek.

Smooch.

"Is that enough?"

Chanyeol transforms real quick into a hybrid of a world-class Olympic swimmer and a high-speed jet ski. Reaching the seaside, they help each other climb the rock formation. The cliff is not too steep but it's quite slippery so they need to be extra careful. From this spot on top of the rock, they can pretty much view the whole island and the incoming sunset. The shore where they pitched in their tents is visible as well. It's such heavenly scenery.

"I don't know why, but I feel kinda lonely every time I'm looking at the sea," Chanyeol randomly says. "Like, seeing it even in pictures or in the movies? It just feels nostalgic sometimes."

"Were you alone? Every time you saw it?"

"Yeah, I was. Now that you asked about it."

"That's probably why."

"What do you mean?"

"The sea itself isn't what's making you lonely. It's the person who's with you while you're looking at it."

"But I didn't have someone with me."

"Exactly."

"Haha... Now I get it."

Baekhyun picks up a small pebble. He throws it into the water before asking Chanyeol:

"How about now? Do you still feel sad?"

"Not anymore."

"Why?"

"Because I have you here with me now."

Like he never said anything close to a pick-up line, Chanyeol dives into the water first. Smiling, Baekhyun follows afterward. He does it like he's a canon ball plummeting in the speed of light. Climb, dive, swim, and repeat. It's a cycle. Their voices echo across the sea, laughing together as if they were free-spirited souls prepared to take risks, living their lives as if there was no tomorrow.

"Yahooo!"

Splash!

"Do it again! HAHAHA!"

"Shit, I drank seawater! Cough! It's too salty!"

"You should've closed your mouth!"

They take a break once they're tired, sprawling on the nice and warm sand, chest heaving because of the adrenaline rush.

"You actually brought that with you?" Baekhyun asks, pertaining to the controller Chanyeol put in a ziplock plastic bag. He then sees a drone flying in the scarlet skies above them.

"Yup. It's filming the whole thing," Chanyeol says, watching the orange sunset with a big smile in his face. "Now it's taking pictures of the sunset. Isn't that amazing?"

"Yeah," Baekhyun gazes softly at the setting sun. "I didn't notice the time."

"Me, too."

"Wanna head back now?"

Chanyeol stands up and offers his arm for Baekhyun to grab.

"Okay."

Baekhyun clutches Chanyeol's elbow to gain his balance. Chanyeol then pulls him close, supporting his lower back.

"Oops. Watch your step."

"I can walk just fine."

Instead of releasing, Chanyeol lowers his grasp to catch Baekhyun's hand before deciding to entwine their fingers together. They hold hands as they walk on tippy-toes along the shore, swaying their conjoined hands to slowly pass time.

"Should I give you a piggyback ride, Baekhyun?"

"Pfft. How about I piggyback your tall ass instead?"

"That works, too."

"No, like for real. I can do that! For a change."

"Nah. You could crack your spine while carrying me. I'm too heavy for you."

"You belittling my strength? I learned Hapkido in middle school, you know."

"Be honest. You just wanna grapple me, don't you?"

"Bingo."

After changing into dry clothes, Baekhyun cooks dinner which is grilled chicken and rice. He does it in the air fryer and rice cooker, not in the traditional fire. The bonfire he and Chanyeol made is just for aesthetics and mood.

While waiting for the food, Chanyeol sets up a hammock and lazes on it while he browses through his laptop, looking at the pictures and videos taken by his drone. This is crazy. Everything is captured in 4K so well, especially the swimming part via arial shot. It's very cinematic. The photos of the sunset as he stood on the cliff with Baekhyun look nice, too. They're captivating.

What caught Chanyeol off guard though, is that footage of Baekhyun clinging to his neck and then kissing his cheek in the middle of the sea. So the drone captured this, too? He almost forgot about that!

Saved.

"Are you watching porn?"

"Huh?"

Baekhyun, while flipping the chicken in the air fryer, smirks at him. Chanyeol avoids eye contact and shuts down his laptop. He hides it in his backpack.

"No, I'm not. I'm just reading my emails."

"There's no internet."

"I mean my grocery list, I'm reading my grocery list!"

Baekhyun snickers. It's really fun to tease Chanyeol sometimes.

"Haha. Come on, dinner's ready."

There are so many stars in the skies tonight but Baekhyun here beside him is the brightest. Chanyeol should keep these cheesy thoughts to himself considering how he's becoming more and more cringe-worthy as his affection for Baekhyun gets deeper day by day. But at least he's self-aware. Chanyeol is proud to be gay for his best friend every second he lives in this planet.

"Your turn."

After adjusting the tripod, Chanyeol moves aside and lets Baekhyun explore his astronomical telescope which costs a fortune. Stargazing is their next activity after dinner.

"Okay, so how should I use this contraption?"

Chanyeol laughs.

"Well, all you have to do is look through the eyepiece and viola! The viewfinder automatically moves around to spot any object in the night sky or any celestial body in the galaxy you wanna see."

"That's cool! I wanna look at Saturn. Show it to me."

"Sure."

Peeking at the tiny lens and waiting for it to focus, Baekhyun finally sees the stunning, hazy yellow-brown planet with bright rings that circle its equator. The phenomenal experience of seeing Saturn with his own two eyes is downright wonderful and astonishing. This must be what Chanyeol felt like the first time he got into Astronomy. No wonder the guy won't stop talking about stargazing. It's mind-blowing.

"Wow... It's so pretty."

Chanyeol fondly stares at Baekhyun who's all cooped up on the telescope while smiling in amazement.

"Yeah, it is."

Baekhyun leans away, grinning at him.

"Hey, I wanna look at the moon next."

Chanyeol turns to look at the night sky. The moon, even without using a telescope, can be easily seen. It is bright and yellow, no doubt. It's always been so alluring. Its crescent waning phase is similiar to what Chanyeol saw that night during his phone call with Baekhyun when he stayed back in Copenhagen. The conversation they had suddenly flashed back in his head as if it just happened yesterday.

And now, as I sit here looking at the moon, it reminds me of someone.

Someone?

Yeah. That someone is you.

I want to see you right now. I wish you were here with me.

"Chanyeol?"

Baekhyun snaps his fingers to catch Chanyeol's attention. He fiddles with the device as a beginner.

"How do you adjust this thing again?"

Chanyeol puts away the telescope.

"Let's talk now. We don't have much time."

That abrupt statement leaves Baekhyun stupefied. He opens his mouth to say something, an excuse to contradict it perhaps, but the yearning look in Chanyeol's piercing gaze has him falling speechless. In the end, he just nods, follows Chanyeol back to their campsite, and takes a seat on the mat outside his tent, facing the blazing bonfire.

Is he ready? Not really. Is he nervous? Yes. Very. Whatever that might happen tonight, whatever he might hear from Chanyeol tonight, and whatever he might say to him tonight, Baekhyun reminds himself: There is no turning back anymore.

Chanyeol grabs a stick so that he can have something to play with and write doodles on the sand while he respectively sits outside his tent as well. The crispy crackle of the fire burning the woods, and the serene splash of the waves hitting the shore fill in the heavy silence between them. The bonfire lights up their faces in the dark, creating beautiful silhouettes.

He and Baekhyun are super close ever since. They've known each other for a long time. But why... Why is it always so hard to talk about things that actually matter? Is it because of the fear of rejection?

Or is it because of the fear of change?

Regardless, Chanyeol needs to get through this feat tonight as promised. He didn't plan to waste another decade if he was only gonna keep these harbored feelings to himself. Before the sun rises, he must confess or else he's better off dead. He'd rather drown himself in the sea than wake up tomorrow and still be best friends with Baekhyun like his coward 18-year-old self.

He's already 30. He should've at least grown a pair within the past 12 years, right?

"Let's hear it," Chanyeol begins, "Your answer to my two truths and one lie." It's probably childish, the way he started off this talk. But who cares now. He'll get the same result anyway from Baekhyun, whatever it might be. "You're my first kiss. You're my first love. You're my best friend... Which one do you think is the lie, Baekhyun?"

He may act cheeky and smug on the outside, but his heart is already shivering on the inside. If Baekhyun could hear how loud his chest is pounding right now, he could go deaf. It's nerve-wracking.

"Uh, the first one?" Baekhyun asks. "You're my first kiss."

"We both know that's not a lie," Chanyeol answers.

"So you still remember what happened when we were 18."

"How could I not? It was everything I could think about that night."

Baekhyun side-glances at him.

"But you said to forget about our first kiss and pretend it never happened."

While just looking at the ground, Chanyeol sadly smiles.

"It was because you seemed grossed out by it..."

"I was?"

"Heck, you couldn't even stop brushing your teeth so I just said that to make you feel better. But it was actually the happiest day of my life back then. If only you knew."

Baekhyun grasps a handful of sand and pours them back onto the ground. Is this guilt and pain he is feeling? Why does his chest hurt so much?

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay."

"Let's see. The second one must be the lie," Baekhyun asks and tries again, sounding reluctant, "You're my first love. That's not true, is it?"

I knew he was gonna say it, Chanyeol tells himself, tiny-smiling. Disappointed and broken, he draws a big X on the sand using his stick, looking at Baekhyun painfully.

If only he could scream at Baekhyun's face: You really don't know? Are you really that dense, Baekhyun? After all these years, you still didn't realize that I have feelings for you? How insensitive can you get?

"Wrong. It's the third one."

Ah, this is so fucking lame. Chanyeol can only hide his frustration through a crooked smile. Why is he feeling the pain already? Baekhyun hasn't even said anything yet. Besides, this is nothing new, being rejected a couple of times. He should've gotten used to the feeling of rejection by now.

"Baekhyun, you're not my best friend," Chanyeol says, staring deeply into Baekhyun's eyes, "You're more than that."

There are no fireworks in the skies. There are no extraordinary sensations taking place as if he just chanted some magic words. Everything seems to be the same after Chanyeol blurted it out. If saying it was this easy, how come he couldn't bring himself to confess before?

"Your first love," Baekhyun mutters. "And the guy you liked in high school was me all along?"

"Yes," Chanyeol answers truthfully. "It was you."

"So what you said about him getting married so you couldn't confess was a lie."

"Yeah, it was a lie."

"The night I introduced Taeyeon to you back in college, it was snowing... You and I stayed in your car. We talked, and then you said something."

I love you. I'm in love with you.

Just like that? Should I just blurt it out like that?

Chanyeol nods.

"It was real. That I love you was for you. I was already in love with you even way before that."

"How about the letter," Baekhyun adds, "The one that fell from your coat that time?"

Chanyeol has no other choice but to laugh so that he can hide his embarrassment.

"You were right. It was a love letter I wrote 12 years ago. I couldn't give it to you until now."

After that confrontation, Baekhyun didn't say anything more much to Chanyeol's anxiety and worry. It was all quiet and tense. Chanyeol would've preferred it if Baekhyun had cursed at him or told him to stop spewing bullshit. He would have liked it if Baekhyun had said not to tease him or prank him with such unfunny jokes. But Baekhyun didn't, as he's only staring at him right now with an expressionless, unreadable face. It's hard to tell what Baekhyun is thinking. It's scary to assume that Baekhyun doesn't care and that he's genuinely oblivious about these feelings because he actually doesn't give a fuck.

So, as a force of habit, and to save himself from the unwanted shame creeping into his morale after exposing his deepest secret, Chanyeol lets his mouth run like a defense mechanism.

"W-we were young back then," Chanyeol stutters. He can't look Baehyun in the eyes, "Sorry for deceiving you all this time."

"I see... I understand."

"You're... not bothered by it?"

After what seems like an agonizing minute, Baekhyun finally reacts. His lips curl up into a casual smile that doesn't reach his eyes. He nods at Chanyeol as though he fully comprehends.

"Like you said, we were young back then. Let's not dwell on the past anymore, shall we?"

That's it.

That's the end of their conversation.

It finishes with an unsatisfying and unsettling cliffhanger.

From the point of view of an outsider walking on the shore, the two tents erected on the sand ten feet away from each other look cozy and well-lit. Baekhyun has two lamps inside his tent while Chanyeol has one but it's already bright enough. The LED lights are keeping them wide awake on their own sleeping mats, tossing and turning, struggling to close their eyes and sleep.

Baekhyun surrenders trying to hit the sack. He sits up straight and hugs his knees, exhaling tiredly. Traveling through his past memories, he tries to look at the perspective of someone bearing affection towards someone unknowingly.

He reminisces all Chanyeol has said and done to him when they were in high school...

"I promised to share every game that I have with you, remember? It's unlimited."

"I hang out with you because I also love playing games just like you. And you're comfortable to be with. That's what I like the most."

"If we're going to take Design and Programming together at a university in Seoul, you need to have your own laptop. It can't just be me, right?"

"But you are precious. A precious person deserves precious things."

"Stay by my side and achieve our dreams together. That's enough payment. Can you do that?"

"Tomorrow, call me after you wake up in the morning. I just want to hear your voice before I start my day."

"You wanna know the reason? Because you're special to me, that's why."

"You've already done so much for me so I hope this will be the last one, okay? Don't feel burdened anymore."

He reminisces all Chanyeol has said and done to him when they were in college...

"You, Baekhyun, and our game are my number one priority. Nothing's gonna change. I promise."

"Use the money. Pay me back whenever you can. If you don't accept it, I'll wear pink for the rest of my life."

"I came to realize that it's still you whom I want to be with. After all, you're my home. My favorite person. My one and only best friend. Nobody can ever replace you in my life. I'll forever be loyal to you no matter what."

"Are you okay? You're not picking up my calls so I got worried and I came here."

"Don't avoid me because of this, please. I don't wanna lose you."

He reminisces all Chanyeol has said and done to him up to the present.

When Chanyeol lets him know his worth, compliments him, misses him, worries about him, gets mad at him, teases him, and even flirts with him in the subtlest of ways...

"Baekhyun, you said I'm a loved one. You're my loved one, too."

"Because it's our dream together, right? To create the best-selling and most downloaded game in Korea. Remember?"

"You're fine the way you are. You look good even when you just wake up. Don't stress over it."

"It's just, I suddenly miss hanging out with you, just, you know, doing nothing at all and spending time with you just like the old times?"

"Why would I still find someone when I already have you? If I play around all I want, at the end of the day, I know you're still gonna be there for me, right?

"Everything's gonna be alright as long as you're with me. Just trust me, okay?"

"Me? I'm not smiling. I just found out that your exes happened to be all women who fortunately made your heart race so you called it love. Why would that fact concern me anyway?"

"What, I just proved you have bad taste in women. Who knows. Maybe it's a man whom you're destined to end up with."

"You don't have any idea how fucking worried I was while you were gone, thinking I might lose you, that I might not be able to see you again, and you dare make fun of me?"

"Look at me like how you did when we were eighteen. Let's go back to the time when we didn't have to worry about complicated things."

"I know, right? You should take responsibility of me from now on. I'm entrusting you my life."

"Good luck with your presentation with LOVE! You can do it. I believe in you."

"Why do you look so sexy? Fuck. You're so hot in that black t-shirt. It's turning me on."

"Just thinking about being separated from someone I love already kills me, how much more if I couldn't be with that person for real?"

"Not that it concerns me but... Are you perhaps dating someone right now?"

"Welcome back, Baekhyun. I'm so happy to be with you again."

And then it all comes crashing down on  Baekhyun like tidal waves. Now everything makes sense.

He's aware that he's always been special to Chanyeol but he refused to call it romance. Because if he had called it love back then, would they be able to stay like this for a long time?

"Oh my god, Park Chanyeol... What have you done to me?"

However, what Chanyeol said tonight starts gradually sinking in to Baekhyun. Now that he's alone, his reactions immediately overflow. Instead of asking himself these shallow questions...

What did Chanyeol like about me? How long has it been since he felt that way about me? When did he realize he liked me? If I was his first love, did I make him gay? So while I treated him as a friend, he was looking at me differently all this time?

Baekhyun asks himself these questions.

How could I do this to someone so precious to me? How could Chanyeol endure it all this time? What kind of person I am to let him suffer by having me by his side? Do I deserve these feelings? Am I even worthy to stay next to him?

"Haaa... Shit."

Baekhyun doesn't realize the tears that are already starting to fall from his eyes. They're streaming down his face like waterfalls. He never cried, at least not always, but tonight will be an exception.

Chanyeol can always be an exception.

"He said, you're. He never said, you were."

Baekhyun, you're not my best friend. You're more than that.

You are more than that.

You ARE.

It's in the present tense.

"I need to talk to him."

Baekhyun quickly wipes his tears away. He flicks off the lamps, wears his coat, slips on his shoes, and reaches for the zipper of his tent.

He stops, body frozen, staring at the zipper.

This isn't the end. Their conversation is not supposed to end with an ambiguous note.

After a long pause, Baekhyun no longer thinks twice before finally unzipping the flap all the way so he can exit his portable shelter. The chilly sea breeze greets him as he walks on the sand with a light crunching noise, approaching Chanyeol's humble and orange-hued tent.

He stands outside for several minutes, cold hands shoved in his pockets, staring at the piece of cloth that separates him and Chanyeol. He waits with bated breath until he sees Chanyeol's silhouette slightly moving inside the tent, slowly but surely.

Chanyeol must be getting up now and contemplating whether to open his tent or not.

"I know you're still awake. Open up, please."

Hearing Baekhyun's soft voice, Chanyeol reaches for the lamp, switches it off without hesitation, and unzips the door to his tent.

And there he spots Baekhyun outside, standing across from him with his worried and troubled face, clearly illuminated by the moon shining above them. The bonfire helps, too.

"Can I come in?" Baekhyun asks warily.

Chanyeol nods absentmindedly, still in a daze.

Baekhyun freely steps inside the dim tent. The exact moment his and Chanyeol's knees faintly brush against each other, it finally dawns on Chanyeol that he consensually allowed Baekhyun to invade his personal space, so whatever might happen right now has an equivalent repercussion.

Chanyeol feels trapped. He has nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. The fact that he's seeing Baekhyun right in front of him despite the uncertainty and tension that happened tonight feels unreal.

At the end of the day, after all these years, Chanyeol's cowardice still prevailed. Why?

It is Baekhyun, the fearless one, who took a step forward and faced things head-on. It is Baekhyun, the brave one, who closed the gap between their bodies, pulling Chanyeol for an embrace, a heart-wrenching embrace that accepts Chanyeol's whole being.

Eighth.

"How about now," Baekhyun mumbles within their tight, little hug, "Do you still feel the same way about me?"

It is frustration with himself that coerced Chanyeol into saving his ego and pride, aside from the new-found courage which was the effect of Baekhyun's touch.

At least he should be the one to say it. He must. He has to. He needs to.

"No. It's greater now."

Chanyeol leans away to stare at Baekhyun passionately as if he was pouring his heart and soul into his words.

"I love you now more than yesterday, and I will love you tomorrow even more than today."

Chanyeol is wrong. There are surely fireworks in the skies. There are definitely extraordinary sensations taking place as if he just chanted some magic words. Everything feels different after he blurted it out. Saying this confession was never easy that's why he couldn't bring himself to confess before.

"I love you, Baekhyun," Chanyeol confesses. "I've been in love with you since we were eighteen. It's always been you from the start."

Gently, he cups Baekhyun's face inside his hands as he gazes intently at the man. Worry, fear, and longing. These emotions are reflected in his eyes vividly.

"I'm sorry. I've been a coward. It took me twelve years to confess to you. I'm so sorry..."

Baekhyun shakes his head as though he was saying, It doesn't matter. It's okay. You've done well.

"I want to kiss you," Chanyeol says, "But I won't do anything you don't like so you can push me away and get out of here if you don't want it."

After silently counting from one to three and Baekhyun still doesn't do anything nor make an effort to escape, as he's only point-blank staring, Chanyeol sees it as a go signal to move forward. Shutting his eyes and touching Baekhyun's jaw, he brings his face closer to Baekhyun. He angles his head and presses his lips on Baekhyun's mouth until the space is gone.

Chanyeol kisses Baekhyun's lips delicately, lightly grazing against them like air. The kiss only lasted for five seconds but it was soft and gentle, chaste and pure. After that fleeting moment, Chanyeol decides to release and breathe.

So this is how it feels like, experiencing his first kiss the second time around. It's magical.

What happened to us is not even remotely a kiss. Our lips just accidentally bumped for five seconds. A true kiss is when two people exchange salivas and use their tongues while doing it.

Oddly enough, Chanyeol keeps getting reminded of the past. To think that his 18-year-old self told Baekhyun that. So why not now that he's older? Can he do it? Will his second wish of kissing Baekhyun come true tonight?

With his heart beating in his throat, Chanyeol firmly holds Baekhyun's hand, intertwines their fingers together, and tries again.

He caresses Baekhyun's nape with his free hand and kisses him, nice and slow. He starts off carefully and tenderly, claiming Baekhyun's lips like he was savoring cotton candy. They taste sweet, mild, and supple. Kissing Baekhyun makes his insides tingle and shake. Having his mouth pressed against Baekhyun's, and sharing the warmth radiating off their bodies through their lips make him nervous and weak.

This is truly happening now, isn't it? It feels like a fever dream.

So, when Baekhyun leans towards him and one by one--baby steps--returns him the kisses, Chanyeol swears he has just ascended to cloud nine because of how happy he is.

This is not a drill. He is kissing Baekhyun and Baekhyun is kissing him back.

Chanyeol can physically feel how Baekhyun's lips move on his lips, how Baekhyun's hot mouth overlaps with his own, and how Baekhyun nibbles his way into his bottom lip until he's taking the lead.

Tilting his head, Baekhyun parts his mouth wider and incorporates his tongue to kiss Chanyeol deeper, harder, and rougher. It was as if he was sweeping and licking every inch of Chanyeol's mouth to lap and devour him. It was as if he was sucking every ounce of his energy.

Baekhyun has his hand on Chanyeol's hair while Chanyeol has his palm on Baekhyun's lower back. This kiss turns out to be more intimate and steamy than Chanyeol had expected. He basically ends up melting and malfunctioning as a mere human being while they kiss. The way Baekhyun steals his breath away by lovingly making out with him in this dark, space-constricted tent, has Chanyeol developing acute heart disease. It's good and bad for his health. But it's intense and addicting.

Baekhyun's tongue swiftly glides over Chanyeol's tongue, tracing his bottom lip. To reciprocate, Chanyeol curls his tongue and applies light pressure inside Baekhyun's mouth, not forgetting to breathe through his nose while kissing. They take turns on who's gonna suck who, naturally and gradually. When Baekhyun pulls back, Chanyeol pushes forward, and when Baekhyun kisses lower, Chanyeol kisses higher.

Baekhyun recovers by releasing from the kiss for a brief moment. Without uttering a word, he stares at Chanyeol in anticipation while Chanyeol equally stares back at him. Emotions intense, eyes sparkling, and hearts racing in their chests, it is Chanyeol who closes their distance again to continue where they left off.

Soothing Baekhyun's back, he gives Baekhyun's forehead a smooch and pecks his eyelids, cheek, and the tip of his nose. Placing Baekhyun on top of his lap and wounding his arms around the other's waist, Chanyeol reunites their mouths together, and resumes heatedly french-kissing to their hearts' content. His hands cup Baekhyun's jaw as he pulls his face closer, kissing him deeply, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth. He slows down when Baekhyun rests his hand against his chest, only for Baekhyun to kiss him harder and fuller.

Their perception of time has disappeared. Neither of them knows how long they've been kissing, and neither of them cares how long it would take them to stop.

Building a steady pace, Baekhyun retracts his tongue and kisses Chanyeol by claiming his mouth unhurried and moderate. He smooches Chanyeol's lips deliberately and eagerly as if it was their first time again. Enclosing Chanyeol's head within his arms, he hugs the taller's neck and kisses his sweet mouth which brings a wonderful feeling to his tummy.

Letting go of Baekhyun slightly, Chanyeol breathes and hovers his mouth on the other's upper lip before moving lower to his chin, nosing the pretty curve of his face. When he arrives at Baekhyun's awaiting mouth, he attaches their lips together and repeats kissing, and just kissing, and just kissing--long and desperate, passionate and deep--until one of them is left breathless and gasping.

They only, finally, stop making out though, by the time Chanyeol's midnight alarm goes off.

That wakes Chanyeol up.

Staring at Baekhyun this near, he remembers the numerous attempts of confessing to Baekhyun within the past twelve years. He remembers those failed tries back in high school until he realized it was not the right time. He remembers those heartbreaking attempts back in college until he was close to giving up. Recalling how Baekhyun was out of his league back then, and seeing him now in his arms, sincerely looking at him, and listening to his heartbeat makes Chanyeol, for a valid reason, cry tears of joy.

"Hey. Why're crying, hm?" Baekhyun asks, and it's obvious how he's also on the verge of tearing up by the way his voice is trembling. "Don't cry. You're making me cry, too..."

"It's just... Haha... I don't know.. My tears just keep falling... from my eyes... Ah, fuck..." Chanyeol sniffles and he's just sobbing uncontrollably, bawling his eyes out, crying nonstop, "Sorry, you had to... see me like this..."

Back then, 7 years ago when he and Baekhyun were 23, Chanyeol remembers Baekhyun crying hard, too. He consoled Baekhyun, hugged him, hushed him down, and wiped his tears until he felt better.

Now it's the other way around. It's now Baekhyun who's doing the comforting.

"Are you okay? Have you calmed down now?"

"Yeah, I think... Sorry for crying in front of you. How weak of me."

"Crying doesn't make you weak. It just proves that you've been strong for such a long time."

Back then, 12 years ago when he and Baekhyun were 18, Chanyeol also remembers kissing Baekhyun for the first time. It was purely accidental, though. A childish and innocent mishap.

Now it's the other way around. They just kissed for real, here in front of the sea with the crescent moon and the night sky as the witness.

"Do you want some water?"

"No, thank you... I'm fine."

Baekhyun turns away like he was searching for something around the tent. When Baekhyun stands up, Chanyeol pulls his arm down to keep him seated.

"W-where are you going?"

"I'm just looking for," Baekhyun notes how tight Chanyeol is clutching around his wrist, "some tissues?"

"Stay here with me," Chanyeol pleads as if he was scared to be abandoned, "This doesn't feel real to me, still."

"What is?"

"You. This."

Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol endearingly. Okay. he mouths without a sound, sitting next to him, letting the man hold his hand and lace their fingers together. Smiling to himself, Chanyeol snuggles closer and rests his head on Baekhyun's shoulder.

"I love you," Chanyeol whispers, pressing a soft kiss on Baekhyun's knuckles. "I love you so much, Byun Baekhyun."

That is the last thing Baekhyun remembers hearing before closing his eyes that night.

As the sun rises for a new tomorrow, the sound of waves hitting the shore and the gawking of the seagulls serve as Baekhyun's morning call.

"Huh?"

He's now back inside his tent, cocooned inside a blanket from his chest down to his toes.

"What..."

How did he get here? Did Chanyeol carry him back to his tent when he was sleeping? Then again, it would be a little awkward to see Chanyeol's face first things first as soon as he cracks his eyelids open, wouldn't it?

"Ugh, my neck hurts..."

Getting up and staring at nothingness, Baekhyun obtains vivid flashbacks of the scenes that took place inside Chanyeol's tent last night.

He clearly remembers how he and Chanyeol kissed--no, they didn't just simply kiss, they made out. How Chanyeol held his face while they french-kissed so gentle yet deep, so long yet hard, so slow yet passionate. How he clambered on top of Chanyeol's lap as Chanyeol wrapped his arms around his waist. How he tightly hugged Chanyeol as the man gazed right into his eyes before whispering those three wonderful words:

I love you, Baekhyun.

I'm in love with you since we were eighteen.

I love you now more than yesterday, and I will love you tomorrow even more than today.

I love you so much, Byun Baekhyun.

Baekhyun collapses on his mat, balls his fists hard, and punches the ground aggressively. He wiggles around the tent and rolls over, cursing under his breath while restraining himself from making a noise. His mouth hurts from too much smiling while his chest feels like on the verge of exploding. He swears to god his cheeks are already swollen and red right now.

Shit. Fuck his brain for having a delayed response. But shit. This isn't even the first time he's experiencing something like this but it's entirely different how. These emotions are baffling and confusing, but they sure are heart-fluttering, pleasant, and warm. The kiss was hot and amazing, too. It's been a while since he did it with someone and he admits it's not something he hates.

Why? Because it was with Park Chanyeol, his dearest best friend of twelve years. So what if he's a guy? Who cares now. This is the person most precious to him. It's not just anyone.

His confusion ends right here. From here on out, he'll go with the flow. He'll accept things the way they are. Whatever comes his way, he'll welcome them willingly, with open arms, and without regrets.

"Ahem! Just act natural."

Deeming he's finally ready to come out and face this brand new day, Baekhyun clears his throat, exhales, and unzips his tent. The fresh morning breeze of the island, the picturesque view of the brown sand, and the mild scent of seawater meet him.

Chanyeol is already outside, surprised, looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights. Hair sticking out in every direction, the man has a toothbrush stuck in his mouth full of foam from the toothpaste.

Baekhyun quietly stares.

Chanyeol spits on the sand and coughs, before muttering in a gargled voice:

"G-good morning!"

That cute reaction makes Baekhyun smile. He bites his bottom lip, shakes his head, and steps out of his tent.

"Yeah. Morning."

"Did you sleep well last night?"

"Yeah. I did."

"Look, about this. I wasn't supposed to brush my teeth but my morning breath stinks so I had to do it," Chanyeol explains, following Baekhyun who's now walking to their cooking station.

"Why're you telling me this shit as soon as I wake up?" Baekhyun asks, softly chuckling. He heats some water in the electric kettle so he can make himself coffee.

"In case you misunderstood? You know, I'm not getting back at you or anything! I just want a fresh breath."

"Pfft, you're such an overthinker."

"Oh. Am I?"

Thank god, Chanyeol mentally says, sighing in relief. Thank god, it's not awkward. It feels lighter now, the air between them. The tension is no longer present as though it didn't exist in the first place.

Fondly staring at Baekhyun with a huge grin on his mouth and big hearts in his eyes, Chanyeol only watches the man waiting for the water to boil.

"What is it?" Baekhyun asks.

"Hm? Nothing."

Chanyeol keeps smiling like crazy.

Conscious, Baekhyun coughs and scratches his nape.

"Then if you have nothing more to say, hand me that mug over there."

"Which one?"

"The blue one."

Seeing an opening, Chanyeol charges, attacking Baekhyun with a sneaky back hug. He buries his face into Baekhyun's neck and sniffs him, before pecking Baekhyun's cheek plenty of times. Smooch. Kiss. Muah. He doesn't stop kissing Baekhyun until he's fully satisfied.

"Mmmh! You're so fucking cuteee!"

"Arghh, stop... Don't snuggle me!" Baekhyun yells, wriggling himself inside Chanyeol's arms, shoving Chanyeol away with minimal effort, "Are you hungover or what? Did you drink alcohol last night?"

"Nope," Chanyeol giggles. "I probably got drunk from your mouth last night."

Baekhyun tries not to blush yet to no avail. This shit is super embarrassing as fuck. He's not even in his twenties anymore, so why the butterflies in his tummy!?

"Stop calling me cute, okay? I'm a grown-ass man. I'm not cute."

"Fine. You're super duper hot and sexy."

"Will you please shut up?"

Chanyeol grins, "Make me."

Baekhyun glares.

Affectionately, Chanyeol circles his arms around Baekhyun's waist. He lifts him off the ground teasingly before whispering:

Ninth.

"I love you."

Baekhyun's cheeks go warm.

"Ah, seriously, Chanyeol... It's too early for this. Let go of me now."

"This is your prize. You won the motorbike race, remember?"

Baekhyun turns around to face Chanyeol, cupping Chanyeol's cheeks inside his hands. "Tch. Look at this poor thing," he mutters, giving the man a fishy stare like he was disgusted by him. Nonetheless, he leans forward, raises his toes, and presses their lips together, initiating a short and gentle kiss.

In front of the blue sea, here on this private island where there are only the two of them who matter, Chanyeol closes his eyes, smiles into Baekhyun's mouth, and responds to the kiss by slowly moving his lips against Baekhyun's. They don't need to kiss in a hurry. They've got all the time in the world, savoring each other's lips like they were having their breakfast.

After a minute or so, Baekhyun decides to pull away. He bumps his forehead against Chanyeol's forehead.

"Heh. Tastes like mint," he whispers with a smirk, and then he leaves Chanyeol like he did nothing.

Chanyeol sighs dreamily.

"Hey, make me some coffee, too."

He follows Baekhyun, grinning like he's floating in the clouds. This feels like an illusion to him, still. There's no way he'll wake up to this beautiful dream. He probably needs more than 365 days to convince himself that last night was real. He confessed to Baekhyun and kissed him. Baekhyun kissed him back. And now they kissed again. He's so happy that Baekhyun is seeing him in a new light. This is beyond surreal.

"With lots of creamer, right?"

"Yup! Lots and lots of creamer."

Tomorrow is still a blur but who even cares? What matters to Chanyeol is that he already got his feelings across. This is just the beginning. This is only the start of his journeyㅡhis journey to winning Baekhyun's heart.

Little did he know he might've done that. Already.

To be continued

(Updates every 5th, 15th, and 25th of the month!)