Isaac

"So, what kind of guys does Sophie usually date?" I ask.

Beth chooses her words carefully.

"In the past, it's usually been guys like Greg. Guys just looking for a good time. Sophie typically goes out with a guy for awhile, flirts with him, kisses him, and moves on. I'm sure she feels different about you."

"Why would it be any different with me?"

"Because you wouldn't accept that," Beth says, her voice trembling a bit. "You don't lead girls on or play with their emotions for an ego trip. If you like a girl, you're all in. That's just who you are. That's why I had to respect your relationship with Sophie. I knew you wouldn't use her."

"I barely know Sophie. If you knew she was a tease, as my friend you should have given me a heads up if you knew she would likely break my heart," I say.

"I didn't want to intrude," Beth looks uncomfortable.

"And yet you didn't warn me. I see nothing different about the way she's treated me compared to those other guys. That night we moved into your house—Sophie kissed me, not the other way around. And maybe that doesn't mean much to you, but it makes a helluva difference to me. It's the difference between being blindsided and not knowing how to react, versus planning and taking action."

"I could maybe buy that if weren't for all those other kisses," Beth says, biting her lip. "You don't accidentally keep kissing someone."

"You may or may not believe it, but Sophie initiated all of them. The biggest mistake I made was not clarifying things right away. After she kissed me once, she just assumed she had the right to kiss me all the time. Does that sound like the Sophie you know? The one that flirts? Who kisses freely? Who assumes she's your girlfriend and never bothers to ask? Who throws you a surprise birthday party because she doesn't listen to those who actually know you who tell her you won't like it? Who makes cupcakes even though she knows you're allergic to them because she cares more about what the guests think than her so-called boyfriend?

"But can you blame me for feeling flattered at first? You had made it clear you weren't interested anymore, and if you won't have me, I do need to find someone. You understand that, don't you Beth?"

"I never made it clear I wasn't interested!"

"The night when you showed me the house. You were pretty scathing. That's when I backed off."

"I guess I was," Beth says, frowning. "But in my defense, I didn't understand the situation."

"Neither did I," I say. "Then you gave me that scrapbook, and I knew I couldn't keep pretending with Sophie. That day Sophie was attacked by the dog? I was planning to break up with her right after she did the video."

"You were?" Beth says.

"Yes. I had it all planned out in my mind. But after Sophie got hurt, I couldn't do it. Not with her hurt and torn up like that."

"Of course you couldn't. Of course you can't, not now," Beth says. "She's depressed. She doesn't feel attractive with all those injuries. It would be a terrible time for you to break up with her. It might be enough to put her over the edge."

"Why do you keep pushing me away, Beth?" I groan. "I swore to myself after you broke up with me all those years ago, I'd never let myself be put myself in a position like that again. Like a fool, here I am. I will break up with Sophie because I have to, because it's not fair for me to lead her on if I know we won't make each other happy, especially if I know who is right for me."

Beth is silent for several moments, and I realize I'm holding my breath. She nods, and I exhale.

"I don't know why I do this," Beth says. "Maybe I still feel guilty for giving you that ring back. Maybe I feel bad I hurt you back then. Somedays, I wish I had kept the ring. I know long distance relationships are hard, but we could have made it work. David told me I should fight for you."

"He's right, but I should have also fought for you. You want to know the moment I knew you were all in? It was prom night. I was so sure you would not rock the boat, then a miracle happened. You took my hand and stood by me. Stood up to the bullies at the dance, stood up to your family when you walked out on your aunt. You chose me, Beth. You proved I was the most important person in your life. I had absolute faith in you, absolute faith in us. That's why I still can't understand why you changed your mind about me later."

"Changed my mind?" Beth gasps. "What are you talking about?"

"I was standing outside the door when your aunt said all those terrible things about me, said I was using you, said I was some loser who didn't deserve you. I heard every word. It felt like my heart had been rubbed over glass.

"I kept waiting, sure you were going to defend me, certain you were going to stand by me just like you did at the prom, but you didn't. You didn't correct her. After everything we'd been through together, after all your promises to never leave me, after agreeing the night before to become my wife, you left me. Why, Beth? After all this time, I just need to understand why you didn't stand up for me so I can finally heal and move on."

Beth's tears are flowing freely now.

"Oh, Isaac. How could you even think that? How could you believe that I had changed? That somehow I suddenly didn't believe in you anymore after years of sticking up for you? After going after the kids at school for being cruel to you? After defending you against that drunk idiot at the prom? After sneaking out and lying for you? After keeping our relationship a secret to protect you? I thought you knew me!"

I can't help myself. I pull her close and wipe the tears from her face. She's trembling beneath my fingertips. She's so beautiful.

"This is my aunt we're talking about. Do you really think she would have listened to me when it comes to you? You know how she is. Even if I could have got a word in edgewise, it would have been a waste of breath. She had already made her mind up about you. I couldn't change her mind, but just because I wasn't able to speak in your defense doesn't mean I didn't think it. I was planning to defend her once she cooled down. You wouldn't let me finish my sentences or explain myself any more than Alice. Neither one of you let me have a voice!"

"I'm so sorry, Beth. For everything."

I can't hold back. My lips are on hers. We meet hungrily, releasing years of pent up passion and loneliness. I am lost in her kiss. It feels incredible to finally hold Beth in my arms again, to feel her body fitted against mine after imagining it for so long, to finally hope again that she can be mine.

And her lips. Oh, her lips. They are even sweeter than I remember.

I thread my hands in her hair at the nape of her neck and deepen the kiss. She moans against my mouth and drives me deeper into the crazy. She's intoxicating. I could never drink her in enough.

Gran stirs, and Beth freezes against my mouth.

"She's fine," I whisper against her mouth, desperately hoping she'll continue to kiss me. She pulls back a few inches and looks at me with tormented eyes.

"We need to stop," Beth says.

"No, we don't. Kiss me."

"I'm serious. Planning to break up with Sophie isn't the same as having done it. We need to be very gentle around her. She's been through so much."

Beth is disentangling herself from me. I force myself to think through the hazy passion. She's right. Sophie deserves a clean break, and Beth deserves a man fully committed to her. I think of her date with Peter. How close are they? Did he kiss her at the concert? Or try for more? What is he to her? I hate the idea that he is free to date her and I'm not. I want to know, but I don't want to remind her of another man. Not now, when I'm finally making headway and things are so fragile.

"All right," I say. "I won't kiss you again until I work things out with Sophie. But that doesn't mean I won't think about it, won't dream about it, won't count down the hours until I can kiss you again."

Beth snuggles into my side and it just feels so right. I stroke her hair and contemplate kissing her forehead.

"Are the lips the only things off limits?" I ask.

"Isaac!" Beth scolds.

"Okay, okay. Just checking."

Sophie's kisses are nothing compared to Beth's because she doesn't mean them the way Beth does. She doesn't feel them the way Beth does. I think I always knew deep down it would be that way. I should have stopped Sophie the first time she kissed me.

But I will fix this. I swear I will.

_______________

Hit that star and show this story some love please! <3

Finally! Communication between Isaac and Beth is happening. Your thoughts about Isaac and Beth? Sophie? Peter? 

So, I posted a few Coldplay songs in honor of Beth's concert. I'm sharing two of my favorite songs in this chapter and the next: The Scientist and Yellow. Any Coldplay fans in the house? If so, what are your favorites?

I think Anna Ferguson from HEARTLAND would be a perfect Violetta. Such a sweetheart - but all fierce and determined at the same time! What do you think?

Dedication for this chapter goes out to all my silent readers. I so appreciate you! I also wanted to call out a few: nique1712, BarbaraCenta, myliee1jewel, shareefah17, milantyese14, Hayooona, and lisabenson. Thanks so much for your votes and support for RESTLESS HOPE! <3