After I'd calmed down a bit and had no more tears left to cry, I decided to go back home, but I took one look at my face in the rear-view mirror and immediately changed my mind. Amanda and my father would positively freak out if they saw me like this, while T&T would probably go on a killing spree to hunt down whoever did this to me. I'd have to pretend to feel nothing, when I currently felt every single emotion there was on the broad spectrum of feeling.

I looked god-awful, my eyes puffy and bloodshot, face bloated from all the crying, lower lip bloodied.

I needed to go somewhere to clean up –or at least splash some cold water into my face. I contemplated going to one of the bathrooms in the library, but the thought of running into Alexei or one of his friends made bile rise in my throat.

I'd seen a Starbucks on my way here and so I decided to backtrack and stop there, if only to use the bathroom to freshen up a bit.

I entered the coffee shop with my head down, hood drawn over my curls.

I noticed the two matching buns –one brunette and one blonde - peaking above identical Macbooks, and I didn't think much of them, until one of the girls raised her head. Ro's eyes widened slightly when she took me in. She elbowed Jenna none-too-gently and Jenna's face contorted into an angry grimace and then froze once she, in turn, noticed me.

Their shock didn't last long before they were both in action, Jenna grabbing her wallet and Ro manoeuvering around tables to grab me by the arm and drag me to their table, where she seated me in Jenna's empty spot.

"What the hell happened to you?" she asked after grabbing a bunch of tissues from her purse and wiping my tear-stricken face gently.

"Alexei broke up with me," I said, my voice flat.

Jenna joined us with a huge cup in one hand, expression grave as she sat beside me.

"This is for you." She handed me the cup.

I took it, eyeing the tower of whipped cream sitting atop the coffee.

"What is it?"

"The sweetest thing on the menu, honey. What's up, though? You look like something happened."

Ro answered for me as I took a small sip and almost choked –if this coffee was any sweeter, I'd probably feel the sugar grind between my teeth.

"What? He broke up with you?"

I took some solace in her outrage and continued sipping my drink, feeling slightly invigorated by all the sugar, chin resting in the palm of my hand.

"He thinks I slept with someone behind his back."

"With who?" Ro leaned in closer, eyes flashing. "And most importantly, did you?"

"Rose!" Jenna smacked her arm none-too-gently. "What the hell?"

"What?" Ro asked innocently, eyes widening. "I was just wondering. No offense to you, sweetheart."

"None taken, but I didn't. And I think he was talking about Gabriel Ferreira."

"Gabriel?" Jenna was looking more and more confused.

"Mmmhm," Ro moaned. "If I were you, I'd do it now, just to set the record straight."

Jenna shot her a silencing look and gave me a sympathetic pat on the arm. "Where did that come from, though? Do you even know the guy?"

"I do. We went to the same high school so I see him around sometimes."

They both remained silent for a moment, just staring at me.

"But we didn't even get to the best part yet," I said with a morbid sort of amusement. "He fired me from the library."

Jenna almost fell off her stool. "He what?"

"He can't do that!" Ro's exclamation drew some looks from the occupants of the nearby tables. "That violates, like, your civil rights or something!"

"For real, you could sue him." Jenna's hands had balled into fists and Ro was shaking her head disgustedly, looking dazed.

"I can't afford that and I'm pretty sure his mother has a whole team of lawyers who would not only win the case, but probably counter-sue me for slander or something."

"Well, you could go public with it. Like tell your story to the Washington Post, or something," Jenna offered helpfully.

"I can't. I signed a NDA."

There was a pause during which they both discussed different ways in which we could kidnap Alexei, murder him and make his body disappear. As gruesome as it sounded, it did make me feel better. In ten minutes' time, they'd managed to make me feel at least half-human, and I was so very glad I'd bumped into them.

"But anyway, I know just the thing you need." Jenna said, her expression and tone so serious that I felt a bit of dread rising inside me. Despite the fact that thinking about various ways of getting rid of Alexei had relieved some of the soul-crushing heaviness I'd felt just a while ago, I wasn't sure I was ready to actually commit murder, if that was what she'd suggest.

"I strongly suggest you sleep with Gabriel. I bet that would make you feel a lot better." Ro wiggled her brows at me suggestively.

Jenna rolled her eyes and I smiled mildly. "No, I meant that we need to do the break-up ritual."

"Oh, yeah! We have to do it." Ro clapped her hands excitedly, once again drawing looks from the people nearby.

While I imagined Ouija boards and strange chants, the truth was much less mystical.

"So basically, whenever one of us goes through a bad breakup, we have a tradition."

"On the following Friday, we get drunk at a park, go to a karaoke bar, sing a bunch of super sad break-up songs and then we finish the night at our favourite diner and order the most caloric thing on the menu," Jenna explained as Ro nodded enthusiastically.

"They have a burger called the artery clogger. Its three burger patties with onion rings, tomatoes, lettuce, pickles, cheese, fries and their secret sauce."

I surprised myself by laughing. "That sounds amazing."

Ro wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "We'll have you back on track in no time, you'll see. And hopefully on top of Gabriel if everything goes as planned."

I let out another startled snort.

I was so grateful for their presence that it almost brought a fresh wave of tears to my eyes. If there was one thing I was glad for in this whole mess, it was them. If I'd never crashed that literature class, I would never had met them.

And so as I continued sipping on my over sweetened drink and they flooded the air with an uninterrupted flow of conversation, debating what outfit to wear for the upcoming Friday and what guy would be the best option for a rebound, I found solace in the fact that even the worst situations had their silver lining.

~♠~

I was drunk.

I had a beer in one hand and a mic in the other, into which I passionately bellowed the lyrics to a Mariah Carey song while Ro and Jenna watched from the sidelines, bent over laughing.

I couldn't remember the name of the bar, couldn't really say how or when we got there, but the wood paneled walls covered in band posters, the worn wooden floor and the fairy lights wrapped around the ceiling beams felt comforting tonight, after a week spent trying my best to pretend like everything was alright and not quite succeeding.

There was an abandon to me that I hadn't felt in months, probably. Being with Ro and Jenna, I felt like I could let go of everything and let myself lose, unguarded.

"And my heart beats faster, when you take me over, time and time again!" Ro and Jenna joined me on the small platform to serve as my back-up dancers while the other patrons of the bar clapped and sang along. The moment felt surreal, like something out of a movie or a dream. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt this much unclouded happiness.

It was then that I noticed a familiar figure making its way through the crowd and to the forefront of the bar, until he stood right in front of me, looking up at me with an amused smile.

I stumbled over the chorus, the words tumbling out of my mouth too fast before I finally gave up on singing altogether.

"Gabe?" I said into the mic.

He looked almost too good to be true. Dressed in all black, dark hair in a slight disarray, perfectly trimmed stubble, and those dark eyes looking up at me, unreadable.

"What are you doing here?" I continued, still speaking into the mic, and probably would've continued if Ro didn't take it from me and give me a gentle shove in his direction.

"You're welcome," she whispered into my ear as she handed me back my phone and slipped one hand into the back pocket of my mom cut jeans.

I registered, numbly, that she must've called or texted him from my phone and that I wasn't sure how I felt about it. As much as I was glad to see him, I also felt a little nervous since I had, after all, ghosted him for the past couple of weeks.

I stumbled off the platform and straight into his arms. He steadied me, his hands on my waist grounding me, anchoring me to the earth as my body felt light, my spirit disconnected.

"Your friend there called me to ask me if you could crash at my place because you're too ashamed to go home this hammered," he said point blank, voice drily amused, one arm still wrapped around my waist. "She said she'd send you to my place in a Uber, but I didn't want you wandering around drunk and alone."

"Drunk and alone," I repeated dumbly. "That does sound like me."

He laughed – a sound like tea and honey –and led me out of the bar, one arm still around my waist. I watched Jenna and Ro wistfully as I made my exit – Jenna gave me an encouraging thumbs up and a wink as I followed Gabriel outside.

"I'm sorry if I was mean to you," I said as he opened the door of his car for me –it was a flashy black sports car I couldn't name for the life of me. And then, I blurted out, for no reason whatsoever, "It's just I've been in a weird headspace lately, since Alexei broke up with me."

Gabe paused, hand still on the door handle, his dark eyes cutting right into me as I averted mine.

"Alexei broke up with you?" he asked, sounding incredulous. "You wanna talk about it?"

I bit my lower lip and leaned against his car, suddenly exhausted. "Not really, no."

After a moment of just looking at me, he ushered me into the car.

He drove without looking at me and remained completely silent, one hand on the steering wheel and one arm carelessly flung through his open window. He was so gorgeous it made my heart squeeze every time I looked at him. His sharp cheek bones, the hollows of his cheeks, and good God, that jawline. I finally let myself feel everything I'd been holding back because I was with Alexei and it was all so wrong, but now –now, there was a world of possibility that I wouldn't let myself explore before.

"Are you mad at me?" I said in a small voice.

"No, of course not. Why would I be?"

"Because I didn't tell you about it."

"You don't have to tell me everything," he said softly. "I don't expect you to."

I ran both my hands over my hair, really wishing I wasn't drunk and that my thoughts weren't all in a tangled jumble. I could barely concentrate –everything about him distracted me. "I just wasn't expecting that. With everything else going on in your life, you'd think he would figure out that it might not be the best idea to do that right now."

"That makes two of us," I muttered as I pressed my forehead to the cold glass of the window. "I wasn't exactly expecting it either. Especially after he cheated on me. Doesn't that make me the one who's supposed to be doing the breaking up?"

Gabe's grip on the steering wheel tightened. "I didn't know Alexei was such a fucking dick."

"I didn't tell him about Tina and Tyler's mom," I whispered, and even just mentioning it made my throat close up. "Sometimes I wonder if it would've changed anything and then I feel bad because I can't believe I'd even think about using that as, like, leverage."

I almost slapped my hand over my mouth after spilling that last tidbit of information. I'd never meant to tell this thought to anybody –it was just so ugly, like every worst part of me had coagulated into that one sentiment.

I could feel my face crumple in embarrassment. I was ashamed I'd ever even considered it –as if T&T's mom was some sort of ticket that could get me out of any bad situation, just an excuse, and not tearing me apart every second of every single one of my waking moments.

But Gabe's expression remained stoic, devoid of any judgment –I wasn't sure whether his silence was disapproval or whether he understood where I was coming from.

I almost jumped right out of my skin when I felt Gabe's warm hand on my thigh. Even through the thick fabric of my jeans, his touch sent my heart into overdrive.

I looked down at his hand, his long, graceful fingers, the tattoos on his knuckles and then I put my own hand over his, and laced my fingers through his, feeling a shiver run through me, radiating from the point where our bodies touched. It felt as if my whole being was concentrated in that one place where my skin met his, where his warmth melted into mine. I closed my eyes. I didn't know whether it was because of my intoxicated state or if it was real, but I could feel our connection as a physical link tying me to him soul deep.

And even though we spent the rest of the drive to his place in silence, our intertwined hands communicated more than any words ever could.

~♠~

I thought a shower might sober me up, but my legs felt just as unstable after fifteen minutes under the stream of nearly-boiling water as they had before.

Gabe had given me one of his tees to wear and the scent of him was making me almost dizzy. Half stumbling, I gathered my clothes from the floor, and stepped out of the bathroom, followed by a billow of steam. Gabe was sitting on his bed, bare-chested, staring at his phone.

I went straight past him to the staircase, headed downstairs.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To the couch. Last time you told me that I'll be the one sleeping on the couch the next time I spend the night."

"Come on, Isis. I'm not making you sleep on the couch." He was grinning now, amused.

"Well, I'm not making you sleep on the couch either," I said defiantly, planting my hands on my hips.

Gabe's grin widened as he leaned back onto his bed, giving me an appetizing view of his tattoo-covered abs. "We've got a problem, then," he said softly. A shiver ran down my spine.

"I don't think so. Your bed's big enough for two, no?" I was astonished by my own audacity. The words rolled off my tongue so naturally, as though I was the kind of girl who uttered things like this every day. I wished I uttered things like this to Gabe every day.

His eyes glinted dangerously in the dark, his grin replaced by an expression so intense it made my belly clench.

As if in a trance, my feet walked toward him on their own. I was guided by desire alone, with no direction but the lust that rolled off him like a scent.

But before I could see what my body would make me do next, he stood up. "I'm going to take a shower."

He left me at the foot of his bed, too drunk and tired to feel embarrassed. I collapsed onto his sheets instead, not bothering to climb underneath them, the remnants of desire still thickening my blood and making it hard to fall asleep, especially when so completely surrounded by his scent, that mouth-watering combination of sandalwood and berry, sweet and strong.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but after a while I heard the door to his bathroom open and heard his footsteps. I thought he'd go right past me and to the stairs, but seconds later, I felt the mattress dip beside me and felt his arm brushing against mine.

I rolled onto my side to face him and found myself face to face with a heavy-lidded Gabriel, his features like those of a fallen angel, sharp cheekbones, the slight hollow of his cheeks, his full, raspberry-pink lips and the strong jawline carved by Michelangelo himself. The subtle freckles alongside his nose and the slight bump in it, a reminder of some fight or another, an imperfection that somehow made him more perfect.

His chest was still bare, covered with black lines that my fingers followed, marvelling at the softness of his skin, at the firmness of the muscles underneath, at the goosebumps my touch raised along his arms, over his chest. Wondering at the rapid thrumming of his heart right under my fingertips.

I inched closer, until my lips were a breath away from his, and then not even that.

I closed my eyes when I kissed him, something like relief flowing through me. I felt like some sort of balance had been restored into the universe, as though the stars had realigned and things were finally falling into place.

His lips were soft –so soft, so luscious against mine, perfect.

And yet he didn't kiss me back.

Every single cell of my body, every atom screamed at him to kiss me back, to want me the way I wanted him –completely.

But then his body heard mine's call and his hand found the nape of my neck, his lips finally moving against mine, starting a fever deep inside me.

"Fuck," he whispered when I pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him, the kiss turning primal, his hands cupping my behind, squeezing roughly, while mine explored him restlessly, hungrily.

Oh if only I could engrave the feeling of him pressed against me on my skin like his tattoos, a visible reminder of how he felt, of how his lips moved almost desperately against mine. I drank him in, tasted him, swallowed his ragged breaths, mouth open, lids heavy with lust.

But it wasn't enough. My hands found his hips, grasping at the hem of his boxers and I was about to tug them off when his fingers encircled my wrists firmly. He rolled me onto my back and was on top of me in less than a second, his dark eyes filled with need.

"No," he murmured and kissed me again, fleetingly, before his mouth found my neck, his teeth grazing my skin and making me gasp and shiver. I plunged my hands into the coffee-dark silk of his hair, my nails scraping against his scalp gently, eliciting a low groan of pleasure, almost like a cat's purr.

"Why?" I whispered back, but he didn't answer, his hands slipping underneath my –his –shirt, cupping my small breasts, kneading gently as I shivered all over, liquid fire pooling at the pit of my belly, need pulsating in between my thighs.

His mouth returned to mine, his tongue caressing mine slowly, lazily, my fingers digging into the skin of his back as his hips moved gently against mine.

His lips left mine. He pressed his cheek against my cheek while his hands grasped my parted legs, his hips moving against me again, making me wish more than anything that there were no clothes in between us.

"I want you so much," I whispered, my voice barely above a whisper, shaking slightly, completely overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of my own drunken lust, my senses filled with nothing but him. He was everything there was.

"I know, princess, I know." His voice like velvet, soft and smooth, sex taking the shape of sound, matching the rhythmic and languid roll of his hips against me.

"I need you, Gabe. I need you inside me." There was no shame, not even a trace of regret. I was being honest with myself and with him, finally. The alcohol fuelled my bravado, made me say things I never would've dared to otherwise.

He went still and his lips pressed one final kiss against mine. "It's not the right time," he said gently as he rolled off of me.

Gabe laid on his side and pulled me against him, one arm thrown over my waist. "Go to sleep now, Isis."

I pressed myself against him as closely as physically possible. I didn't think I could fall asleep after what had just happened between us, but I was too tired to resist it.

I drifted off.

And yet I could still feel the ghastly echo of his hands and his mouth on me as he followed me into my dreams.

~A/N~

finally, lmao.