I couldn't believe I was actually going to meet Adam Hayes.

Throughout the few hours I'd been awake (who am I kidding, I was awake all night long), I'd been fluctuating between mere excitement and varying degrees of hysteria. More than once, I talked myself down from a complete and total meltdown by reminding myself that I had seen him in concert several times, twice from the front row. But then a few moments later, I ended up hyperventilating and putting my head between my knees so I wouldn't pass out.

Or vomit.

I had taken a dose of Zofran when I first woke up, just to stave off any possible puking.

Okay, here's the story about me and vomiting. When I was little, I was diagnosed with a condition called Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome. I had regular episodes of nausea, vomiting, and fatigue. Sometimes it would last for a day, sometimes for several days. When I was in third grade, I think I missed two weeks of school in a row and ended up in the hospital because I was dehydrated. That's when the diagnosis was finally made and my doctor started prescribing Zofran and other anti-nausea medications to help with the problem. There was no clear cause for the syndrome, and I had mostly grown out of it since middle school. Once in a great while, I still had an episode here and there due to excitement or anxiety. I think the whole Adam situation qualified for both. I hadn't expected to puke at school, but I also hadn't expected my best friend to announce such thrilling news and then run away from me.

I was doing much better now.

The Zofran was just a precaution, really.

To be fair, I knew I shouldn't be so worked up about meeting Adam. I had actually communicated with him before, when I had left all those comments on his YouTube channel and he occasionally responded. And I had literally seen him face to face from the best possible seat as his concerts.

But at least one of those times was before I even had boobs, my hair was stringy because I hadn't figured out that showering daily was "a thing", and I had braces. God, I'm glad I never sent him a picture of myself.

But this? This was a completely different scenario. I was going to meet him. He would know my name. We would hopefully make small talk.

How the fuck do you make small talk with your biggest idol, not to mention third on People magazine's list of "Sexiest Men Alive"?

How could I make a good impression? Would I even get to talk to him for a few minutes? A few hours? Could I ask him to follow me on Twitter or Instagram? I mean, how could I live with just meeting him once and then never speaking to him again? Wait, well maybe, just maybe, I'd have other chances to hang out with him if Tito Rod was his manager, but I wanted my own connection with him. Was that realistic?

"Nora Josephine, Leo is here!" Mom yelled from somewhere in the house. Ugh, there was that hint of nausea again. I popped another Zofran, just to be safe, and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly.

I was glad that I had picked out my outfit with my mom the night before. I had decided, too, that  I would bring along a light jacket because it was still chilly outside, but I was going to wear my favorite boho sandals with the whole ensemble since I wanted to show off my pedicured toes. I wore my hair down since it was easily my favorite thing about me. It's nothing special, but it's long, pretty healthy, shiny, and what I think is a lovely shade of chestnut. Mom always says people pay a lot of money for the color I have naturally, so I can actually say I like my hair.

Adam was very much into steampunk and his professional style reflected his taste with big, metallic buckles and buttons and belts with funky gears and pocket watches. It worked very well for him, and it made him stand out from other artists for sure. I had several pieces of steampunk and bohemian-inspired designs, but I decided I didn't want to show up for this meeting looking like I was ready for cosplay.

I heard my door open and before I even looked at Leo, my anxiety burst out of me. "Do I look okay? I thought maybe this was too casual, but I really love this outfit. My mom thought it looked great when she helped me pick it out last night. Is it too casual? Or is it too cold to wear this? I know it's only the beginning of May, but it's been really sunny and warm and-"

My best friend appeared in my field of vision, grabbed me gently by the shoulders and captured my gaze with his. "Nora. You aren't going to freak out today, remember?" Then, after fully digesting my words, "Wait. You hung out with your mom?"

"Yes," I blurted, changing gears completely. "Can you believe that? It was actually kind of fun." But then I turned back to the mirror and nearly screeched, "This is totally wrong, isn't it?"

Leo could always talk me away from the ledge. "It's fine," he said calmly. 

I took another deep breath, closed my eyes for ten seconds, and then I slowly let it out. "You're right. I'm fine. I'm ready." I grabbed a cardigan and my purse and followed him down the stairs.

"You look amazing, by the way." Leo was always so generous with his compliments, and he was great at fashion advice. I had a few close girlfriends, but oddly enough, they didn't care about clothes and mani-pedis as much as Leo or I did. Everyone needed a friend like Leo.

Tito Rod was waiting in the back of a decked out BMW SUV while the driver held the door for Leo and me. As soon as I entered, Tito Rod gave me a big hug and gushed, "How are you?" Letting his Filipino accent consume his greeting. I loved his accent, especially when he was happy and gregarious, which was pretty much any time I ever saw him.

I smiled graciously as Leo got situated, and I answered, "I'm doing very well. Thank you so much for allowing me to accompany you today."

"So formal, this one," he said with a slightly teasing tone and glancing at Leo with a look that made his nephew laugh.

"Sorry, I'm just nervous, I guess."

Rod took my hand and said, "No reason to be nervous. This is all very casual, and Adam is very laid back. This isn't a formal meeting anyway. We're just going to say hi and talk a few business details." He flashed a knowing glance over to Leo and then said, "I'm sure you will have plenty of time to talk to your honey."

I rolled my eyes in embarrassment and looked out the window. I wanted to ask why Adam was in Chicago in the first place, but then I remembered that one of his band members and some other folks he worked with lived in town. After that, I chose not to say or ask anything else about Adam because I did not want to invite any more mocking from the two men. Leo already gave me enough grief about my obsession with Adam Hayes.

We made small talk with Tito Rod on the way to the meeting. It was about an hour's drive from our small town near Waukegan to the studio in downtown Chicago.

When the driver pulled up in front of one of the tallest buildings near the lakeshore, I tried to keep my mouth closed so as not to look like a fish out of water. Growing up in Waukegan did not make me a city girl by any means. I'd been downtown countless times in my life but I'd never been inside a sleek, glass skyscraper like this one. I could get used to the VIP lifestyle, I thought as the driver opened the door.

Leo took my hand and squeezed it as we followed his uncle into the building. He approached the information desk and said, "Rodrigo Villarosa. I'm here for a meeting with Adam Hayes." I was a little taken aback by the change in his tone and accent. For a moment, I didn't recognize him as Leo's uncle and that spiked another round of nerves. This was the big leagues. I couldn't believe we were here with an actual music agent who was actually going to meet with Adam Hayes!

Leo glanced at me and smiled an assuring smile. I plastered a peaceful look on my face as the receptionist directed us to Suite 7C. Leo squeezed my hand one more time and then let go as we stepped onto the elevator. He must have felt a little unsettled about my preparedness to meet my biggest celebrity crush, because he checked in on me at least once every floor until the doors opened on Level 7.

Immediately we heard voices from down the hall. Again following Tito Rod, we cautiously approached the open door. It did not sound like the voices were very happy.

And then I heard his. And he was definitely not happy. "You're not listening to me! I'm telling you I don't want to do it that way. If you remember, we argued about this when we were recording Not Gonna Lose You. I hated the fact that I was singing the back up vocals to my own song."

"So you want actual backup singers?" Another voice asked.

"No! Not for that song especially. That part of the chorus didn't need back up but my pathetic manager forced me to release it that way. It sounded better with just my voice - just one voice - and minimal instrumentals. God, I hope this new manager will listen and help me make some changes."

Rod strode in as if he'd been part of the conversation all along. "I'm here to do whatever makes you happy."

"Rodrigo!" Adam exclaimed and immediately enveloped him in a friendly and familiar hug.

Then he moved on quickly,saying, "You must be Leo."

"At your service," Leo quipped. His family knew how to layer on the cheese. I guess that's part of what made his uncle so successful.

I had no time to prepare before Adam Hayes was wrapping his arms around me and giving me an extra little squeeze. Instead of actually returning the embrace, I just stood there like a penguin, flapping my arms unattractively at my sides. "And this beautiful lady must be Nora. Rodrigo told me about you," he said in a way that made me wonder exactly what Rodrigo had said.

I stood there numbly for a minute, trying to grasp the reality before me, that my hero was right here in flesh and blood, next to me, his hands still holding my arms.

I'm never washing my arms again.

Say something, Nora! (But not that bit about never washing your arms again.)

"It's so great to meet you," I finally said. Thank you, Brain, for turning back on!  "I've been a fan for a long time. Since your YouTube days, actually."

He cringed and slapped his handover his eyes. "Oh no, and you still follow me? Those days are so embarrassing," he laughed.

And instantly, I felt comfortable with him. I loved that he was so humble about his career. "Why? You put yourself out there and you grew with your audience. Everyone has to start somewhere and you had the guts to start while a few thousand people watched."

"Okay, but were you around when I only had seven followers?" He asked with that same embarrassed grin.

"No!" I reacted."Seriously?"

"For an entire year,"he nodded. "In fact, it was thirteen months before I gained my eighth follower, and then things pretty much exploded from there."

"See?" I grinned. "You stuck with it for an entire year-"

"-Thirteen months," he corrected me.

"-thirteen months before you started gaining more fans. All that tells me is that you knew your talent, you knew your audience, and you were persistent. And look where you are now."  I wasn't exactly sure where the motivational speech came from, but that was a nice touch, I think.

"Well, thank you. I appreciate that take on things. Really." He gave me another brief hug and then he became a bit more formal as he introduced the rest of the people in the room to his new manager and to us.

A few people were scattered around the large space that that seemed to suit the purpose of a meeting room and recording studio all in one. We had entered on the side with a large conference table and very cushy-looking chairs, while the other half of the room was the studio, which could be closed off by a wall of sliding glass that was open about half way.

I had recognized Adam's right-hand guitar man and long-time friend, Levi, and his keyboards and synth player, Bryce, but they were the only ones I remembered by name. Levi was just hanging out at the conference table drinking his coffee while Bryce was sitting in the recording area with two other guys.  I soon learned that they were Nathan, one of his drummers (Upon hearing his name, I had some vague memory of reading that he could only do the US leg of his last tour, so he had hired someone different for the European leg), and a sound engineer named Rolf.

After the brief formality of introductions, Adam resumed his rant from earlier. "Rodrigo,"  he said sternly. "As I was saying when you first walked in, I hired you because you promised that I would have a lot more autonomy." Tito Rod nodded, smiling to indicate he was willing to kiss Adam's ass ten ways till Sunday. "Well, as you may have heard, these guys-" he motioned to the guys in the recording area, "-aren't exactly on the same page."

"How so?" Rod asked. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was advertising a denture-cleaning product with the way he was smiling.

"The reason I decided to change management-" he shot another pointed look at the offending men, who had now joined us in the conference area, "-was so that I could get more into my own sound. I'm sorry but I'm so done with teen pop." This time, he was looking at me and the expression on his face had turned apologetic.

I grinned and said, "Don't look at me. You could play the accordion and I'd still be your biggest fan."

Did I mention that sometimes I say the dumbest things?

The dumbest things.

"Good to know," Adam chuckled. "Oh, by the way, I don't usually discuss these things in front of, um, fans. I need to know that you won't let anything that happens here leave this room. In fact, I'll probably have the two of you sign an NDA before you leave," he motioned to Leo as well as to me. I mean, Leo was going to be part of his management team and he'd probably be signing all kinds of things, but it made sense that I would need to sign something as well, being privy to some of this inside information.

Rod piped in, "An NDA is a non-disclosure agreement. It's basically you signing an affidavit saying that you won't talk about anything concerning Adam's career..." Leo and I both nodded in agreement, indicating that he didn't really need to say more. We knew what an NDA was.

"Okay," Adam breathed. "So, the main point I'm trying to make is just that I want to move in a new direction with my sound and maybe my image, you know?"

"Why the hell did we come to this meeting then?" Bryce suddenly spat. "Just so you could tell us we're full of shit?"

Adam turned calmly and said, "Basically, yes."

I wasn't expecting that. By the look on Leo's face, neither was he.

Bryce turned, open-mouthed and shocked as hell, towards Rodrigo. "So, what does that mean?"

Rodrigo then turned to Adam and asked, "What does that mean? You told me all about your desire to do things differently. Like Leo said, we're at your service. Whatever you want to do, we'll make it happen for you."

Adam rubbed his face and then skidded his hand through his hair, leaving it standing on end in some places, and flopping to the side in others. He finally blurted, "I want these guys gone," and he motioned around the room to everyone but Levi. He wasn't going anywhere, I knew that much.

Bryce simply stood up and said, "Fuck you," and stormed towards the door.

"Mr. Mansfield," Rod stopped him in his tracks. "I will be in touch. And I will remind you, since it's obvious this isn't a peaceful parting, you will not say or do anything to shed negative light on my client. Is that understood?" I really liked Rodrigo the manager.

Bryce turned and kept walking, muttering as he left, "I never signed an NDA."

Then Rolf made his discontent known, "Are you serious? You're supposed to release a new album and go on tour in a few months' time and you're firing your producer?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Adam asked sarcastically, clearly losing his patience. "You're not my only producer, and to be honest, you're not the best in the business even though you think you are. None of you have ever wanted the same things as me, obviously. I have new management and I want to go in a different direction with my music. What is so hard to understand?"

"Why exactly did you ask us all to be here?" Rolf parroted Bryce's question."Couldn't you have just fired us over the phone like the coward you are?"

"Hey!" Rodrigo interrupted and clearly his warning was enough to shut Rolf's mouth. Leo and I shrank away from the confrontation and sat down quietly next to Levi.

"I just wanted to see if you guys had changed at all since we last got together," Adam admitted. "After spending a few minutes with you this morning, I realize you haven't."

Rolf took out his phone and punched in a few numbers. "Yeah," he said when someone answered. "He's letting us all go."

"Not Makowsky," Adam murmured. "And hang up the damn phone!"

Rolf ended the call after relaying the message, "He says Makowsky stays." He looked at Adam one more time and said, "So much for loyalty and friendship." And then he left.

Nathan, the last to leave, actually had the decency to approach Adam first and say, "It's been real, man. It was great to work with you, and I can't say I'm not disappointed, but I understand, you know? This is how the business works. Stay in touch, all right?"

"Will do," Adam said, embracing him with a slap on the back, and then Nathan was gone.

After Nathan shut the door, Rod sat down silently and said nothing for several minutes. I think we all kind of wondered if he was regretting his decision to let Adam call the shots. "Wow!" He finally breathed. "We really just did that."

Adam replied with nervous laughter trickling in between his words. "Yeah, that's okay, right? That we just did that?"

Rod bounced back to gregarious and confident businessman we knew and said, "Of course! Like I said, you're the boss. I know that Metro used to call all the shots, and that's because you were young and inexperienced. But you've grown up, you know the industry, and you're ready to make your own decisions."

Leo and I were still a bit stunned at the sudden departure of a chunk of Adam's regular team. I could tell that he had really wanted to lose his temper, but he hadn't even been sure if he was "allowed" to yet. I was so glad that Rod took it all in stride.

Adam then excused himself.

Levi finally spoke. "He just needs a few minutes to cool off. He'll be fine. And for the record, that was extremely unprofessional, the way those guys pissed and moaned about being let go. That's the business, like Nathan said. Nothing's permanent unless you've got a signed contract and theirs just expired." He shook his head, mimicking all of our disbelief at the pathetic tantrums of two grown men.

Leo and I nodded while Rod said, "Exactly. I've never seen grown men act like such babies before."

It wasn't long before a few people came in and brought coffee, tea, soft drinks and some light snacks. We dug in while waiting for Adam to return.

When he finally came back about twenty minutes later, his phone was plastered to his ear and he was practically yelling at the faceless caller. "I can't believe you're doing this!" He listened for a moment. "No, it's not the same thing. You still have a contract." He listened a bit more and then said, "Fine, but my lawyer will be contacting you."

With a deep sigh, he sat down, cracked open a can of sparkling water, and after taking a large gulp, he said, "George Makowsky is apparently more loyal to Rolf than he is to me."

"He's not coming back?" This was the first time Rodrigo sounded nervous.

"Mhhm." Adam took another drink. "He wants out of his contract. You know any other sound engineers?"

Rod shot Leo a questioning look and Leo, in turn, looked very confused and slightly terrified.

No, Tito Rod wasn't going to do this.

Was he?

He couldn't be-

"You could give Leo a shot," Rodrigo shrugged.

Oh, he did it. He actually suggested his 17-year-old nephew as a sound engineer to a platinum-record holder. This was it. Rodrigo was going to be fired on the spot, just like everyone else today. His career was over. The idea was preposterous, and Rod had to know that.

"Sure, let's hear what you've got," Adam motioned to Leo and got up to go over to the studio. Levi stood up for the first time since we'd arrived and followed Adam. Leo was kind of frozen to the spot, his eyes looking catatonic. I wasn't quite sure he wasn't going to puke.

Adam's phone rang again. "Hayes," he answered abruptly, using his last name. Well, stage name.

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Are you kidding?" Adam's voice rose in anger once again, but I could tell he was done fighting. "Fine. Whatever you want. See ya." And that was the abrupt end of the conversation. He pivoted on his heel and said, "I guess we've got our work cut out for us. I need to find a drummer, a keyboardist and some sound guys - wish I'd known they were all planning a mutiny, I'd have fired them a long time ago - and now my stylist quit. I'm open to suggestions."

When Rod's and Leo's chocolate brown eyes landed on me, Adam's followed.

Suddenly, I wasn't so sure that Zofran I'd taken was going to help me.

* * * * *

Agh! Sorry it took me so long to write this chapter! I agonized over so many details about the music business (I read a ton so it wouldn't seem unrealistic). And I just wanted it to progress well. Anyway, last chapter was kind of short, so this one is longer.

PLEASE let me know what you think!