It's Friday night and I find myself yet at another stupid student party at the quarry with Wade. I'm sitting on the bed of my truck, drinking beer while he's on a hunt for yet another drunken enough girl, saying he has to make use of this weekend because exams are in a few weeks and there will be no drunken girls for a while. I find it hilarious how Wade struggles to keep in mind his own working schedule but he has mapped all holidays, school breaks and when all the exams are. The man really goes out of his way to get a cheap pussy.

For the last two weeks, I didn't see much of Lana. She's behind on her schedule, or at least that's what she said, and she's been studying every night, in her room, behind closed doors. Every day when I get home from work there is always something to eat ready for me but besides a few brief encounters, no Lana.

I'm pretty sure she's hiding from me, from us. Maybe I shouldn't have told her about the 'no paying proposition' she looked embarrassed enough. In any case, I decided to give her some room and I spent last weekend in the woods, with Wade, hunting. There is not much I can do to help the situation. I'm just giving her some space. I want her to be comfortable around me. But honestly, I'm starting to get frustrated by her constant absence. I want that calmness again, I miss that calmness. I didn't even realize how much I got used to her being around.

I hop down from the bed, light a smoke and look around. I'm already bored and we haven't been here for more than an hour. Suddenly my eyes catch a familiar face. It's that Anthony guy. He talks animatedly with some other people. How does he manage to still look that smug with that broken face he's got is a mystery to me. He's on something for sure. That little shit, I wonder what happened between him and Lana that made her just pack her things and run away from him. Maybe I could make him tell me before-.

An arm lands on my shoulder in a weird half hug. "Not a good idea," Wade whispers in my ear.

"What?" I turn my head to look at him

"I know what you are thinking. Don't!"

"Please, even you would enjoy that one," I grunt quietly.

"That's not the point. Lana lives with you. She lived with him. I heard him talking shit about her. Do the math! Think Jackson! Cops will go straight to your house to ask questions."

I put down the smoke. "Whatever, I'm out of here." I just turn around and leave. I'm done with these stupid parties. I wanna go home, where it's quiet.

When I get to the house I don't see any lights. Maybe she's out. Maybe she's sleeping. I open the door and switch on the light by it. I am startled by a yelp, searching the source I am greeted with the sight I didn't expect, at all. Lana is standing in the kitchen, in her underwear, her hair down, looking like she's freshly out of the shower. She has earplugs on and it looks like she's been looking for a snack as the fridge is open. She's breathing heavily and hastily tears out the earphones.

"Oh God! You scared me to death! You are never home before dawn when you go out with your brother!" She then suddenly seems to realize how little clothes she has on and she jumps behind the door of the fridge. And I'm still staring, I can't stop staring. It's been awhile in so many ways and it's her! I can feel my pants getting tighter and as if on their own accord, my legs start to move. She's eyeing me as I'm getting closer and tries to lighten the mood.

"You know, it's getting kinda cold in here. Would you mind throwing a blanket my way, please?" She laughs nervously.

I am at her side by that time. I pull her away from the thing by her arm and close the door.

"So, don't stand in the fridge half naked." I'm looking down at her and I feel my lips involuntary turn into a smile as I feel the calm surrounding me.

She, on the other hand, doesn't seem calm at all, her breathing is speeding up and she's staring at me, eyes as big as plates. But she doesn't try to move away, she doesn't say anything either.

I rest one hand on the cupboard behind her and move the other one on her arm in a long caress from her elbow up over her shoulder to her neck. I whisper. "Don't hide from me anymore."

I'm not sure I meant to say that aloud. What I am sure of is that I was talking about the last two weeks, but her eyes drop to her body, where her hands are trying to do the impossible task of hiding what's visible, which is an awful lot. I didn't even notice her doing it.

She looks back up to my eyes. "What are yo-" I don't let her finish. The hand resting on her neck goes higher and grabs her hair to keep her in place. My head drops and I'm kissing her before I even realize what I'm doing.

It's like my body functions on autopilot. Usually, I don't even enjoy kissing. But I can't bring myself to stop now. It feels so good. I feel her hands move to my chest but she's not pushing me away. My other hand travels to her back and I push her closer to me. I let go of her hair and slide my fingers down to close them around her throat briefly. I feel her pulse racing. After enjoying that feeling for a bit, I move my hand lower. I'm almost at her breasts when she starts to struggle. She breaks the kiss and starts to push at my chest, trying to make some space between us. I lean in going for her neck, I don't wanna stop.

"Jackson! Jackson wait!" Her voice sounds raspy. I love it.

"Hmmm?" I straighten up some to look at her. I feel like being in a dream but I sober up a little from it at the slightly panicked look in her eyes. Still, I can't bring myself to let go of her.

"Jackson, what are you doing?" What kind of question is that? Isn't it obvious?

"I want you," I tell her the truth, making small circles on her back as I still hold her.

She's searching my eyes. "How do you want me? For tonight?"

"No, not just for tonight." I shake my head. "I want you to be mine."

She continues to look at me and then she slowly nods. Did she just agree? I lean in to kiss her again, but she moves her head back. "Wait!"

"What?" Now I'm getting very mixed signals! But surprisingly enough there is still no annoyance. The peace inside me is almost overwhelming.

She brings her hand to my face and caresses me. "I do like you back. I just- let's just take it slow, okay?"

Okay, I can do that. I give her a small smile. "Alright."

______________________________________________________________________

I'm early for work. I tried to wake up with Lana today. It was a bad idea and I'm definitely not doing it again, but now here I am, waiting in front of the shop for the boss to show up and open. I light a smoke and think about the last two days.

It turned out Lana actually did have a lot of work for school to do so she was buried in books for the most of the time for the rest of the weekend. But this time her door stayed open and when she took a break she always came to find me. We didn't go much further than those kisses and we didn't really talk. We just spent the time together, mostly in silence. She would snuggle up to me, or just sit with me, depending on what I've been doing when she came to me. Still, I felt genuinely content. It's such a new experience, to feel content. To spend time with someone without the anger in the way.

My train of thought is cut off by newspaper being slammed on the table in front of me and Wade hissing, "Are you out of your mind? Why don't you ever listen to me!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

He taps on one of the headlines with his finger. I look at it and see it's the section about missing persons. Is he checking out regularly that part just to see who I might have killed? He won't know for sure anyway, what's the point? And why is he showing it to me in the first place? But then I see it. A picture of the little shit we've visited two weeks ago, Lana's ex. And he's missing.

I look up. "Wade-!"

But he cuts me off. "-I told you it was a bad fucking idea!"

"Wade-"

But he doesn't even look at me. "- What the hell were you thinking? I know! You didn't think at all. It's not some random guy. It's Lana's ex. What did I tell you?! She lived with him, and now she lives with you. This one will lead the cops right to you."

"Wade-"

"-You know, there's asking for trouble and there's fucking begging for it!"

I raise my voice to get his attention. "Wade!"

"What?!"

I glance at the papers. "It wasn't me!"

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