The Bakery was a little more busy than usual when I found myself visiting it on Monday.

I'd first convinced Dad to drop me off at my university, where I'd finally managed to check in with the advisor and collect a few things of mine that Alyssa couldn't get from my dormitory. I'd also managed to clear out my name from student housing. Dad was adamant that I live with him ("until I get an apartment," I'd told him, at which he'd said, "there's no need to hurry for that.") and I think I might've been okay about that too.

To get an apartment would mean saving up on money and I needed a job for that. That's where Macy and my visit to The Bakery came in. On my way back from the student housing offices, I'd seen a flyer on one of the bulletins. There was a barista position open for the summer break at The Bakery. I knew I could maybe get it if I convinced Macy to talk to her boss about it. I think I needed the distraction of a job more than the money in that moment.

I made sure to text Dad that I'd reached The Bakery and couldn't help but wait--didn't have to wait for more than a few seconds anyway--before I received a thumbs up in response from him. This was starting to become our new normal now. Check in with Dad whereever I went. I wasn't complaining.

"You never told me you've worked as a barista before." Macy spoke with an inquisitive, friendly glint in her eyes.

I looked away from her and down at the hair tie in my hands, pulling it over my wrist. "Just one summer. It wasn't for long. I might need a little training or something."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I know you'll do just fine." She smiled at me, leaned down and started refilling the empty slots for the pastries. I started fidgeting with the hair tie. I didn't know how to stop. "Why are you stressing, sugar? You know you'll get the job."

"I'm not." I told her, then grimaced. "It's just my new normal these days. I fidget a lot. Sorry."

She reached out over the counter and patted my hand. "That's no problem, Alice. Come here. Check out the new line of muffins Sandy came up with today--that's the baker here, you should know--while I get your forms to the boss's office."

I looked over at the freshly baked tray she'd placed before me on the counter, even when there were multiple customers waiting on her, and couldn't help but smile at the way each muffin was labeled "I am blueberry, please eat me".

"This is plain blueberry." She pointed at the first one. "This one's got some white chocolate in it. This one's got cheesecake. And this one has--"

"--raisins in it. Just my favorite." A voice came from behind me before the person--a boy about my age--stepped near the counter just beside me.

I didn't recognize him, but Macy seemed to. He placed his hands flat on the counter and seemed a little out of breath. I couldn't help but notice the running gear. Maybe he'd stopped by from a run?

"Adam, sweetheart, is that a lie I hear?" Macy glared at him.

His eyes widened almost comically. He turned towards me, eyes seeking mine and asking for help. "No way. You know I love those...shriveled monstrosities."

A small laugh escaped me. Macy gasped loudly at the obvious insult and the boy--Adam--grinned along.

He was Macy's nephew, I was told a little while later, who actually lived in Germany but had just moved here through his university exchange program. And he was very...talkative. A few seconds into the conversation, where he pulled one of the stools from the back of the cafe and joined alongside me, and I'd already forgotten about the hairtie on my wrist.

It felt like a breath of fresh air.

"So you're saying that you visit this place all the time and this is my first time meeting you?" He said it with a friendly grin, so even if it was a flirtatious attempt at...something, it didn't make me feel paranoid. "You should try the cheesecake one next. That's the absolute fucking best."

I tried a bite of it. It was just as delicious as the others.

Adam ate the rest of them and only looked up at Macy innocently--which I was starting to realize got him out of most things in life--when she started scolding him.

"Those were for Alice!"

"Alice was very nice and said we could share. Right, Alice?" He glanced at me and winked.

"Oh, no, don't try to get out of this--"

"All right--Jesus--I'm sorry!" He was a bit clumsy and too big for it, pushing away hastily from the counter in an attempt to escape Macy. A shocked laugh slipped past my lips when the stool he was sitting on trembled, his eyes widened as he reached out towards me to stop the inevitable fall. I grabbed him, grabbed the counter, and somehow--I wasn't sure how--we both didn't fall.

"I cannot believe how you've made it this far in life, Adam." Macy mused, shaking her head.

It was all lighthearted--something I hadn't felt in a really long time now--until I grew increasingly aware of his hands that still held onto me--his hands on my waist. There was the small chime of the cafe door behind me, signaling a new customer.

I was decently conscious enough to hear Macy say, "Oh my," from some distance, but most of me was just too aware of the hands holding me that didn't feel...familiar. Or welcoming.

I pulled my hands away from Adam, suddenly not so sure about any of this anymore. He gave me a smile that could've been pure sunshine and easily dragged my stool, along with me, back towards the counter. "I'm sorry. That was all Macy's fault. Let me make it up to you?" He cheekily picked up the raisin muffin. "Want the shriveled one?"

I shook my head, relieved when another laugh escaped me, and he joined in alongside me.

A chair was pulled from behind me. Probably another customer filling in. I wiped my palms on my jeans and exhaled. "I should get going. I've got...some chores to do."

Adam seemed to perk up at that. "We should meet again sometime!"

I smiled at him, not sure if he meant that in a friendly way or a flirtatious way. I wasn't--I didn't need that. I looked at him, unsure, and then at Macy, hoping she'd help me get out of this. But Macy was a little busy serving the new customer behind me, until she directed a very pointed look at me, which only managed to confuse me.

Heart starting to race for no apparent reason other than not knowing what was happening, I almost asked her what the matter was.

Until I heard it.

"Querida."

And everything just seemed to stop.

I turned around so fast--too fast--that I nearly fell from the stool for the second time. It wasn't funny this time, however. It wasn't--

A hand reached out towards me too fast and I flinched.

"Easy." Ryder whispered--reached out and didn't let me fall. I froze as I stared at him--couldn't really make it all fit in into my mind. Eyes that had been--that were my home stared back at me. "Hey."

"Ryder," I whispered--sounding, oh God no, like I was about to cry.

"What's going on?" I heard Adam behind me. He sounded like he was too far away. Maybe I was slipping away?

"What...when..." I couldn't find my words. I couldn't--I reached out. Afraid. Ryder seemed to wait for me so patiently. Was he even here or was I finally losing it? "How did you get here?" It was still a whisper that left my lips. Did he even hear me?

He was here. Right here.
My Ryder was here.

"Just now," he said to me, eyes only on me, his entire attention fixated on me and mine alone. His voice too was low, almost as if he could see--like he knew I hadn't yet absorbed any of it. Him being here after weeks--no, almost a whole month--him finally coming back. To me.

I stared at him, my eyes darting across his face--at the hair that seemed just a tiny bit longer--at the light stubble on his jaw--at the dark blue shirt he wore--at the tattoos out on display for all eyes to see--at the...there was a long red line--a scar at the palm of his hand. That wasn't...

That hadn't been there before.

I reached out before I could've thought twice about it, saw something flicker in his eyes before he seemed to make some sort of decision. The moment my fingers found the back of his hand, he leaned close towards me--too sudden and too close after so...so long, and murmured, "Follow me?"

I nodded almost automatically. I couldn't not. Of course, I would follow you anywhere.

He got up then. I looked up at him, something that felt an awful lot like simple devastation gripping me from the inside. He held out a hand towards me, eyes seeking my own--a silent question. Waiting. I placed my hand in his and he helped me up until I stood securely on my own two feet.

"Can you keep the coffees on hold?" He directed that to--to Macy, I realized a little belatedly. Because she was still here. Just because I had somewhat retreated into my own mind didn't mean everyone else inside the cafe had disappeared as well.

And then I felt Ryder tense against me. I pulled back a little, worried. He wasn't outright glaring but I could see the almost murderous glint in his eyes. "You should leave before I come back, yeah?"

I turned around and saw who he was directing those words at. Adam. A very confused looking Adam.

I opened my mouth--knowing I should speak--clear the godawful misunderstanding--

"I've been told I don't react sanely when someone touches what's mine." Ryder said it in an almost conversational way. I reached out almost instinctively towards him, trying to stop him. What was he even doing?

Macy actually...giggled at that.

"Consider yourself lucky." Ryder added in.

Adam looked aghast.

"Ryder." I hissed at him, grabbed him by the arm and started tugging him along towards the back door of the cafe.

I knew he went along with me because he wanted to. There was no way I could've pulled him off of Adam if he'd started a fight in the middle of the cafe. A shudder went through me.  Whatever it was right then, I didn't want to keep standing inside with thoughts that were too chaotic and terrifying inside my head, and watch him hurt Adam. He'd looked like he would hurt Adam.

"He--He wasn't flirting with me." I blurted out the moment the back door closed shut behind us--the moment we were both alone outside in the alley.

Ryder looked down at me, the hints of that murderous anger all gone from the blue of his eyes. "I know."

"He...only grabbed onto me because he was about to fall." I added.

One corner of his mouth ticked up. "I know, querida. I was watching."

Querida. I felt it--the moment all of it, the reality I was in right now, started making sense to me. The moment everything right clicked back into place.

"Ryder," I spoke--felt it in my ribs--the tug towards him. "Ryder."

"I'm here." He told me. He was here. He was right here. With me.

A sound left me--a sob or a heartwrenching exhale of the breath I'd been holding onto for so long--a weight that I'd been carrying for so long. And then I was closing the distance between us--reaching out--his face--his lips--

And I could breathe, finally breathe, the moment our lips touched--the moment I got to kiss him--taste him--breathe him in.

His hands were on me all at once. Too much and not enough. I barely felt the wall behind me when he pushed me back against it--barely felt him pressing me against it, because he was there all at once--his lips on my throat--open mouthed kisses down my neck--one hand sliding up inside my hoodie, fingers against my skin that ached with the familiarity of it all.

"Querida," he pressed it home against my skin, teeth grazing the spot below my ear. I pulled him close, impossibly closer, turning my face to chase after his lips again.

He kissed me until I forgot how to breathe. Until all of it--all of the broken thoughts inside of me blessedly fell silent. Until it was just him and his touch and the solid wall behind me. Until the bleakness my life had turned into started making sense again.

"Querida," he said it again, held my face still in both of his hands when I tried closing the distance between our lips once more. I ached. Couldn't he see? I didn't want the distance. I never wanted it. "I'm here."

"I-I know." The words trembled out of me, my fingers fisting into his shirt, pulling him close--closer. Please, don't leave.

"I'm not. I won't." He kept saying--didn't resist me anymore and pressed kisses into every inch of my skin he could find right then. "I won't leave you again. Forgive me. Please?"

Forgive me? I was shaking in his hold, sounds that were actually sobs leaving my lips. I was crying. I squeezed my eyes shut and let him press closer against me. His lips found the corner of my eyes and his hold turned so achingly gentle on me. I was crumbling into pieces and he kept holding on.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and then he whispered it again. He sounded as wrecked as I felt from the inside. "I'll stay, Alice. I promise."

Stay. "F-Forever?" I hiccuped.

He pressed a smile against the side of my face. "Yeah."

"You won't leave?" Not again, please.

"No, my love."

I trembled and pressed my face into his shoulder, holding onto him so tight that I knew it must be hurting. I just couldn't let go.

"How did you...how did you come back?" I asked him, when all I wanted to know was how his father let him leave.

He exhaled slowly and pressed another kiss into my hair. "I'll tell you everything, okay?" He reassured me. "Let's not do it here, though."

I nodded. I still didn't move away from him. Or let him pull away from me.

"Come home with me?" He asked softly.

I stilled--squeezed my eyes so tight that it hurt for a blinding second. And then I was nodding against his throat, nodding an okay until he held me close and kissed me again.

•••••

My phone buzzed where it sat on the kitchen island, breaking the easy silence between Ryder and I.

I was too busy inspecting the scar on the palm of his hand--at the redness around it. It was a deep cut. A fresh one that hadn't been given much time to heal. I cut off a piece of guaze and wrapped around it. I didn't know how to ask about it.

"Your phone's ringing," he said, looking up at me from where he sat on one of the kitchen stools.

I glanced over at it--at Dad's name flashing on the screen.

"It's just Dad." I murmured.

He pulled me close by the hem of my hoodie until I stood in the space between his legs. "Has he been bothering you."

I glanced at him. "No."

"Then what's the matter?"

I gripped his hand, careful to not press too harshly on the scar. He didn't seem to care about it anyway. I knew he was just humoring me--letting me tend to his sounds and wanting my mind to be at ease.

"How did this happen?" I finally managed to ask.

He didn't look away, although I did notice the way he clenched his jaw.

"A knife wound," he replied

I stared at him--felt my heart picking up its pace. I stopped doing whatever I'd been doing with his hand. "What do you mean?"

He exhaled slowly. "It wasn't my father, Alice. It was one of his men."

"That doesn't make it any better."

"I know it doesn't." He shook his head. A dark lock of his hair fell over his brow. I reached out and gently pushed it back. The blue of his eyes tracked my own. "But I'm fine, am I not? I'm sitting before you in one piece. That should take your mind off of it?"

I frowned. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"No," he said, then seemed to grimace at the fact that he'd just lied to me. "Not anymore."

"Where were you hurt?"

"It was just a few bruises, querida." I knew it couldn't have been just a few bruises.

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I leaned down a little until I had my hands on either side of his face. His hands found my waist and pulled me closer. I spread my fingers into his hair, watched the blue of his eyes darkening as he waited. Waited for me.

"I was scared, Ryder." I finally spoke. Just between us, where there seemed to be no space, it was suddenly easy to tell him how terrified I had been exactly. "When I was with...Santiago." His hold on me tightened reflexively. I ran my thumb along his jaw--reassuring. "He told me...he told me how much your father hurt you. It wasn't all of it. Well, I'm sure he wanted to tell me every detail. But I...at one point I don't remember listening to him anymore. It was like my brain had shut itself off."

Ryder didn't say anything. I could see the change in him--the way he held himself too still--the way he watched me so carefully with barely concealed anger. But his hold on me didn't, for once, turned harsh. He was listening to me.

"I was terrified, Ryder." My voice fell to a whisper, my eyes searching his. "When you told me you had to go...I could suddenly picture all that Santiago had told me about your father...and I didn't want it happening to you again."

He slipped a hand past the hem of my hoodie, softly caressing my back. "I think," he spoke finally, "that I should've killed him a lot more slower than the quick death he got."

I sighed and pulled back a little. He didn't let me go too far. "Alice. I don't want you to worry."

"That's not how my brain works. It stupidly fixates on things." I told him softly, grabbed a hold of his shirt and tugged at it. "Can you take this off?"

"I love your brain. Tell me how to stop you from worrying?"

That got a small smile out of me. I tugged on his shirt again. "I just need to see. You said he didn't hurt you but I need to make sure, okay?"

He could've easily taken that as a lack of trust in him. Could've confronted me about it. And I would've told him it wasn't about trust--that it was my mind. I needed to see with my own eyes. Ryder didn't bother questioning me about it though. Instead, he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside--because I think he was starting to get it how badly my mind ran on a specific loop at times.

And like my mind had expected, there were bruises. Fading, but they were still there. I sighed again.

"My father didn't hurt me, Alice." He told me--quiet and patient--then shrugged. "Not this time. I think he knew that I wouldn't have taken any of it lightly. Not when I was already on the brink of losing my shit after all that had happened to you."

I lightly traced a huge bruise along his side, mostly hidden by the ink of his tattoos.

"It was...difficult for me to leave you." He added, then pressed lightly against my lower waist, pulling me closer. His fingers mapped my bare skin from inside my hoodie--a warm whisper against the slightly scarred skin on my stomach. He didn't pull away from it, only leaned close and pressed a kiss over it--the spot on my stomach where Santiago had carved pain into me. He raised his head and his eyes found mine. "You do know that, don't you?"

I held his face in my hands, my fingers tangling in the softness of his hair, and reluctantly pushed him back a little. I traced my eyes over the rest of his tattoos, mapping his skin for signs of abuse that weren't there before.

"Rafael told me that your father had always wanted to hold something--a weakness over you." I couldn't even look into his eyes anymore. Saying it alone seemed to sadden me. "That he figured I was your weakness so held that over you."

"He figured wrong."

I shook my head. Ryder waited a second before grabbing both of my hands and tugging my eyes--my attention back to his. "You've never been my weakness, querida. I've let him fuck with my life all this time. And I don't think I ever had a reason to stop him."

I went still when his hold on my wrists tightened just a little--a grounding weight.

"Alice, the moment he threatened your safety," he told me, "I was ready to kill him. My father. You hear me?"

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out of it.

"I've never bothered with the thought of ending his life to make mine easier. But back there, I fucking would've when he threatened your safety. You've given my life a purpose. How the fuck does that make you my weakness?"

I felt the moment my eyes started burning with tears. I tugged on my wrists but he only pulled me close.

"Look at me, querida." I looked at him--at those eyes that held and offered all my happiness for me. "The few moments where I thought I'd be too late getting you out of Santiago's hold...those hurt more than anything my father has thrown at me my whole life."

My chin trembled as a tear rolled down my nose.

"Losing you would've been losing a part of me--the only part of me that matters," he added, his thumb caressing along the scar on my right wrist, making it all okay again.

I nodded, teary-eyed.

"Believe me?" He asked. A sound left me--a teary laugh--as I nodded again.

That also seemed to be the moment my eyes found something amongst his tattoos that hadn't been there before. I knew it with clarity because I'd spent wakeful moments tracing the empty space near his heart--the only spot where he hadn't gotten anything tattooed on. Nothing at all.

Only now it wasn't empty anymore. There were inked letters etched across his skin there. Forever close to his heart.

Querida.

He seemed to follow my gaze then, saw what had gained my attention and looked back at me to guage my reaction. I think whatever was on my face seemed to satisfy him. He leaned back against the counter, a smile on his lips--letting me see it all on full display. "Seemed like the right choice."

I choked out a laugh, throwing my arms around him, all of it seemingly unreal until I pressed the words against his throat, his skin, his lips--the ones that I'd wanted to speak and utter and promise for the longest time now.

"I love you," I told him, again and again and again, until everything was all right again.

At the end of it all, he held me tight, and I was home at last.

•••••

It was when I had dragged Ryder out into the penthouse balcony so that we could both watch the sunset together, that I called Dad. Dad was relieved when I finally managed to tell him that I was okay and that I was with Ryder. To his credit, he didn't make a big fuss over it--the fact that Ryder was back, how I felt about that, and was I really sure to be back at his place so quickly?

I think Dad trusted me more than I trusted my own self.

"Should I tone down my worrying a little? Is it getting too much?" Dad had asked me over the phone call.

And since Ryder was right behind me, pulling me snug against him, Dad's words didn't go unheard by him.

"Yes," Ryder said.

I shushed him, hoping Dad hadn't heard that.

"That's one answer," Dad replied, sounding amused.

Later, as the last rays of the sun seemed to vanish into the sky and when I was too warm by his touch alone, Ryder told me it had been Rafael who's sudden presence had let him leave his father and come back here--who'd stepped in at the very last moment. After all that had happened with Santiago, cracks seemed to have been appearing in his father's men. His father seemed to not have the same hold over them as he had years ago.

"Maybe that's why he thought he could control me again," Ryder added, his voice carrying that tight anger to it. "He'd wanted power. He doesn't fucking know how to live without it."

And somehow--something Rafael had done had let his father let him go.

"Is he still there?" I asked him a little while later, referring to Rafael. "With your father?"

Ryder hummed against my neck. "Yeah. He's got...family there. He's never been happy here."

"Why did he stay here then?"

"Keeping an eye on me. Sending intel back to my father. He is one of his men at the end of it all." I felt him shrug. I wrapped my fingers around his bandaged hand and he let me. "My father told him to stay here and he obeyed the orders like he always does. Maybe he finally bothered to get his priorities straight."

I think he felt me growing upset at that. "He's going to be fine, Alice. He knows his way around there. He's got help at every corner. Rafael doesn't have enemies there like I do."

I leaned my head back against his shoulder and stared up at the sky. "He cares about you. I know he wanted to get you out of there."

Ryder was silent for a while. "He helped me get back to you. There aren't many people in my father's world who would put their lives at stake for mine."

No one there, Raff had told me when I'd asked him if there was anyone who'd help Ryder.

"Maybe he'd come back one day?" I asked.

"I'm sure he'll find a way."

The air started to turn colder as the sky started to lose all the yellows and golds. I settled and felt the restless energy inside me finally dissipating. Everything felt right again.

"Ryder?"

He hummed against the space between my neck and shoulder.

"Dad wants to meet you properly." I smiled, his hair tickling my cheek. "Over dinner, he was saying."

"Very bold of him."

I elbowed him lightly.

"I guess if it makes you happy." He begrudgingly agreed.

"It would." I told him. "And Gem has been missing you too."

He wrapped his arm snug around my waist. "Can't say the feeling's mutual."

I actually laughed at that. "Don't say that to her!"

"I wouldn't dare, querida."

The air was getting colder as each minute ticked, but in his arms I was warm and safe. We sat there until the sky completely grew dark--until the stars twinkled and a yawn left my lips.

Ryder got me up, muttering something about the cold and me wearing the wrong hoodie (I think I'd told him it was one of Dad's) and turned me towards the balcony doors--his hands still on me, not pulling away until it was strictly necessary.

I stopped, grabbing his arm and waiting for him to fully face me. He did--because he knew me. He knew when I wanted something--knew me better than I knew myself.

My eyes traced across the new letters etched over his heart--the soft querida holding onto me--a tug over my own heart.

"Ryder," I whispered.

He stepped closer towards me. "Yes?"

The suddenly cold air caressed my hair along my cheeks. Ryder reached out and pushed the loose strands of my hair behind my ear, staring down at me. Waiting.

"Love me forever."

He leaned close and ran his knuckles along my jaw--a heartbreakingly gentle touch. His lips found the corner of my own and my eyes fluttered shut.

"I know I will, querida."

____________________________________________________________________________

the end.

We started this in 2022!!! Can you imagine!!! Writing this book has been an honest-to-god wild ride for me. Such an emotional rollercoaster. I just think ryder and alice were truly meant for each other. Can't believe I had this tiniest inkling of an idea for their story back when I'd been writing 'that night' and I'd mostly ignored it then. But I'm so glad I carried on with it and got to write this book!!

These two will forever hold a special place in my heart 🌻

To those who stayed for the long ride, i love you so much and your constant support kept me going ♥︎

[we will meet again -- hopefully soon -- with a new book!]

CrystalXx.