You're still here when I wake up, and I'm not surprised because you never leave without at least warning me. It's just one of the many things that makes you different from the rest.

You're vaping, sitting with your back against the brick wall. Large clouds of smoke spill from your mouth and you don't notice me watching you as you blow o's casually.

I miss your hands on me already, wondering how long you've been awake and if I did anything embarrassing in my sleep like snore.

There's a smear of blue on your arm, and I realize the dye in my hair has stained your skin. It makes me smile, because it almost marks you as mine. Not that I need to. I'd never been with anyone as loyal as you. It was another reason I probably didn't deserve you.

You're fully dressed and I realize I'm just in my panties. My face turns red as I try to use the blanket to cover up better. I feel more insecure than ever with you here. You're exactly the type of guy I'd never thought I could get, and I'd always settled for less before you. I'd settled for married men with at least 15 years on me, usually unattractive and with nothing in common with me.

But you....you're perfect.

Just barely turned 22, tall, kinky, adventurous and ridiculously attractive.

I had no idea what you saw in me.

All I did was tell you stupid pick up lines and embarrass myself, but here you are.

My eyes trace the shape of one of your tattoos as the temptation to take your hand makes my fingers twitch.

I know my make up is probably fucked up worse than my morals right now and that my hair must make me look like a troll doll, but you still look so good.

I want to go, so you don't have to see me like this. I don't want you to suddenly remember how much better you could do.

I decide I should probably distract you with sex again. So I slowly sit up, feeling your gaze drift from the view of the city - to me.

I'm still blushing as I sit next to you. You know I rarely make the first move, and maybe you like that I'm shy and practically putty in your hands when you ask anything from me. I let the blanket slip down to my waist, so that you can see my breasts through another thick cloud of smoke.

Your eyes meet mine, and that's really all you need. You can tell what I want, I think. So you do nothing when I take the mod from you and take a hit as I lean towards you. I hold your gaze, shyly, as I tilt my head up and press my lips against yours.

I breathe the smoke into your mouth and pull away. When you exhale, I find myself smiling. Your lips curl in a smirk that makes me feel weak. And you let me lean in again to kiss you.

One hand reaches up to clutch your shirt as you deepen the kiss, I use the other to guide your hand to my breast. You bite my lower lip as I moan, and I am already wet.

Sex is the thing that makes me feel closest to you, but I can't tell if that's all you want me for or the only way you know how to show affection.

Either way, it's easier to say "I want to fuck" instead of "I love you."