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Chapter 3: Reality

This is somewhat about Valerie's past. There are no dialogues in this chapter, it's just inside thinking.

Enjoy loves!
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Darkness was the only thing she saw for 3 years straight. She didn't know where she was or where she was going to end up. It was the worst situation that anyone could ever live in. People are normally afraid of the unknown but how often does the unknown occur? At the very least not very often, but her whole existence was the unknown for three years.

In first year of middle school she was the rich girl Valerie Summer who was always giving out cookies and laughter for free. The one who always smiled for no reason whatsoever. To some people her smile was somewhat infectious and made them smile as well. It might have been a lie and the compliments were just them trying to suck up to her but it didn't matter at all.

She was happy. She was content. But to some people her smile and her make believe happiness was just irritating, disgusting and annoying. It made her the center of their hatred, but they didn't let it show cause there was no reason to. They couldn't start hating on her, the rich girl who hadn't done anything to them who always smiled no matter what. No they couldn't do that, you know why? That would make them the bad people. They were all kids, no one wanted to be hated and be called the bully, but that only made them hate even more. It could be seen as hatred from the outside, but she knew what it was. It was something more vicious. It was envy. Seeing that she was rich with a so called perfect family, it wasn't really far fetched to assume that she had a perfect life, but she knew her life more than anyone did, and it was a lie.

Most people didn't have the capacity to smile all the time like she did. It wasn't a problem for her, cause she believed if she just smiled it would be better. At least that's what she thought.

Being an only child from a wealthy family, was one things that made people assume that she had everything. They'd stay away presuming that she would be the devil's incarnate because her father wasn't the man of everyone's dreams, but when they'd need something, they'd get closer to gain something from her, but she'd do anything to be cared for and loved, so she'd let it happen over and over and over

Until she couldn't take it anymore. She felt like and empty glass that was continuously pushed and tilted the wrong way, and soon enough she was going to shatter. The mix of feeling around her, it filled her to the brim with negative emotions. The hate, the fakes, the lies, it was too much for her to handle, so she shut down completely, stayed away from everyone and everything.

Towards the end of middle school things got worse for her. She slowly stopped smiling, her eyes void and empty no longer filled with the love and happiness everyone knew once before. They had broken her. No matter how much she tried no more emotions could be felt in her heart. She was lonely.

It wasn't her fault. She would give anything not feel the way she felt, to smile all the time like she did in the beginning, but the depression, the loneliness and the fights. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't even give a half of a smile.

The hate started getting more visible than anticipated. She wasn't the kid who always smiled anymore. She was just the depressed kid at the side who was afraid to speak in fear that she'd make everyone just like her. The friends she thought she had left her side when her smile vanished. Those that always loathe her existence, they started to become more prominent in her life.

She didn't judge them. Not at all cause it wasn't their fault. They didn't know her. The first thing they always thought about was ways to make her miserable.

Those that didn't really care from the start, well they stayed the same not even bothering to look twice in her direction.

It's actually kind of comical to her that when you seem perfect in every way on the outside, and you think you have friends or companions of some sort. When the perfection fades, so do they. Cause in the end true friends love you for your imperfections, but she realised too late.

She had always wished to break away from her depression and loneliness, and she almost did, when finally she wasn't lonely anymore.

Her Randy was born. She smiled again, not as much as she used to but she did smile. His presence alone filled the hole in her chest to the brim. He was her best friend her only friend, even if he wasn't more than a year old. When he would smile at her, she'd smile right back. He was her light, her baby brother. He couldn't speak or walk quite well, but he was her companion. The companion she had prayed to God every day for. When she'd finally thought God had answered her prayers, her little bundle of happiness was yanked from her, on the first day of highschool and on her fourteenth birthday. Her family, her home, her life was something she knew not of anymore.

It was always said that one should be careful what they wished for. The wishes that were long forgotten came true, on that day she was forcefully ripped from it. She didn't have a choice then or a say in the matter. She was brought a life that was much worse, where she didn't know her tomorrow.

She was a slave to her mind and to her owner. All her thoughts were centered around the fact that her life would never be as blessedly tragic as it used to be. This unknown was her life now and she just wanted it to be as miserable as it used to be, cause that wasn't misery. The predicament she had found herself trapped in, that was misery, and there was no greater words to describe the pain she felt in her heart, because the one thing she cared about was gone from her sight. Her Randy was not by her side.

Her loneliness was seeping through to the surface once again but this time nobody cared whether she had a smile on her face or not, nobody cared if she spoke or not, nobody cared if she was depressed or not, nobody to hate her for being happy or to tell her that her smile would brighten up their day. It wasn't that they cared enough to try and understand.

She always knew no matter her predicament she would always end up thinking of others before herself. Was it a blessing? or was it a curse? How was she to know. She had no one to talk to. She never did. She thought of Random day and night. Was he depressed now? Was he hated like she was for being happy? Was he blamed? She cried every time at the thought.

The thought of him ever living the way she did, broke her inside and out. And their parents? do they care she's not there anymore? Were her past friends worried. Did she ever exist to anyone or was she just a shadow nobody would remember, not even Random would remember her. Even if she were to return to him, would he even know her anymore? That thought broke her heart to pieces, but she vowed that would get back to him and she would make him happier than she ever was. Her life was a tragedy written and scripted to end in pain and heart ache, it always was and it's always gonna be and that is her reality. That's what she believed. You shouldn't blame her. She had no one to talk to, no one to whack her over the head when she told them that, nobody who cared at all and she believed that for the longest time. This is the reality she lived in for not 1, not 2, but 3 consecutive years. And how exactly does one escape her reality. It's impossible.

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So guys that's the chapter. Pls comment on what you think. Please vote I beg of you. It gives me a lot of motivation. Thank you very much

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