I'm not getting a cold
Just need to blow my nose.
No need for you to scold
I'm not getting a cold.
Why must you be told?
Just cos my nose glows;
I'm not getting a cold.
Just need to blow my nose!

My nose is starting to stream.
I'm sure it's not a cold.
You know how cold it's been.
My nose is starting to stream.
The weather's been extreme.
No need for you to scold.
My nose is starting to stream.
I'm sure it's not a cold.

So maybe it's a cold.
I wish I'd listened to you.
Should've done as I was told.
So maybe it's a cold.
No need for you to scold.
So maybe it's a cold.
I wish I'd listened to you.

It's the worst there's ever been.
The kind of cold you dread.
My symptoms are extreme
It's the worst there's ever been.
My nose just look obscene.
I think I'll stay in bed.
It's the worst there's ever been.
The kind of cold you dread.

I think I'm going to die.
I'm a man who has a cold.
How will I get by?
I think I'm going to die.
Why?, oh why?, oh why?
Why have I got a cold?
I think I'm going to die.
I'm a man who has a cold.