[F/N]

"Connie. Nice name."

"Why, thank you, girl...whose name I don't know."

"It's [F/N]," she smiled genuinely. "Also, I'm serious about apologizing for my friends' behaviors. They tend to really...get involved, I guess?"

"Figures," Connie rolled his eyes, scowling at her.

"Hey, if you're going to give me that kind of attitude, so be it. I can tell you right now that no one else here will treat you the way I do."

Connie fell silent. [F/N] walked over to the darker side of the room, walking to a specific aisle. Before scanning the items on the shelves, she reached for a package that sat on the very top; she struggled to grab it, as her reaches and attempts served futile. She attempted to climb on the shelf, but she only ended up knocking over a couple of items on to the ground, causing a ruckus in the hushed room. [F/N] chuckled lightly at her own clumsiness and mistake.

"Bread?"

[F/N] fished out a single roll after pulling apart the plastic packaging. Connie nodded, but struggled against the ropes that bound his hands together.

"Oh, sorry about that," she laughed lightly, before untying the ropes skillfully with her nimble fingers. Connie gave a hoarse sigh of relief, feeling the blood circulate around his wrists again.

Connie took the piece of bread that [F/N] had offered. [F/N] sat down next to him, taking a bite out of a roll herself.

"So...I'd like to get to know you better. I know we're stuck in this shitstorm--" [F/N] paused for a second, before giggling. "Oh god, Levi's and Jean's dirty mouths must have rubbed off on me, sorry about that. Anyways, how are you holding up?"

He cleared his throat, coughing a little before speaking. "Well, uh, the group of people from downtown decided to take me in a couple days back before this began. They seemed like trustworthy people, so...I went with them."

"Go on."

"They're...they're about twenty miles downtown," Connie sighed at last; he hung his head in shame. "Ah, what do I say to them when I get back...? Sorry, uh, [F/N]. I just really miss my girlfriend."

"It's really no problem," [F/N] smiled. "We'll take care of it. But, seriously, I have to ask--why here?" She gestured to the supermarket. "It could've been anywhere else."

"Well, first off, it's stocked with a lot of food and other necessities to life," Connie answered her, matter-of-factly. "Even though they may go bad soon, I think it was really convenient for them--and second, someone from our group knows someone from yours."

Her ears perked up, her attention snapping back onto him. "What? Really? Do you...do you mind telling me who that person is?"

"She's a really nice person," he began with a little hesitation. "Her name is Petra. I'm not completely sure about her last name, but...she mentioned a name that I've heard today."

"Who might that be?"

Connie looked up, furrowing his eyebrows as if trying to remember. "Levi. Levi Ackerman."

-

"What?"

"Levi, please keep your voice down," she urged, pushing a finger to her lips in order to hush him down. She had just put Connie to sleep in a storage unit, as Levi didn't see him fit enough to sleep amongst the others. The other members were sleeping soundly on the rooftop, aware that either Levi or [F/N] would be taking first watch. "Is it really that big of a deal--"

"Yes!" Levi hissed, pacing back and forth along the bottom of the stairs. [F/N] sat on a few steps above from where he was standing, looking down at him in confusion. She had never seen him so bewildered before.

"Does she have anything to do with you, then?"

"Kind of," Levi muttered, his replies coming quick, unlike his usual, unhurried behavior. "Well, yeah. We know each other. Yeah. We've--we've had quite some history."

She arched an eyebrow. "History?"

"Y-Yeah," Levi stuttered, tripping over his words as he looked for the right things to say in his jumbled mind. "Uh, like, bad history. Y'know what I mean?"

"No."

"Dammit, [F/N]," he muttered. "I just--it's just--we were...we were..."

"Just spit it out," she groaned, rolling her eyes and sighing. "It's no big deal, okay?"

"We were in a relationship before. We're like...exes, I guess."

"'I guess'?" she scoffed. "What does that mean? Are things still unresolved?"

"I--I don't know, okay, [F/N]? I didn't ask you to butt into my businesses," he hissed, his eyebrows forming a crease. "You always meddle with things and I don't like it--"

"I'm only trying to help," she pleaded, stretching a hand toward Levi, which he ignored.

"Stop trying, then," Levi looked at her in pure filth, sending her a glare that seemed to scream murder. "You've been nothing but a fucking brat since day one. I've never liked you as anything more than some teammate of mine, much less a leader. You always get in the damn way, and you are just a hindrance--I hate you. Get the hell away from me."

[F/N] shut her eyes tight, rolling her eyes in hopes that it'll relieve the dull pain in the back of her head. "Whatever--I'd had it with you, Levi," [F/N] gritted her teeth, closing a fist around the chain of the necklace that Levi had put on her. Pulling it away from her harshly, she managed to break the clasp that held it together. Throwing the remnants of the necklace at Levi's chest, she spontaneously burst into tears--not ones of sadness, but ones of anger, hatred, and betrayal. She did her best to restrain them, but she couldn't resist in letting out a few. Turning her head away, she sniffled, hoping Levi didn't catch sight of her tears. In the corner of her eye, she could see him roll his eyes at her immaturity--this only gave fuel for her anger.

"You always say stupid things. You never care about anyone else. It's always you, you, you. You're a cold person, you know that, Levi? Sometimes I wonder if you even have feelings--I wonder if you even feel compassion or even empathy. I'm hoping that you do, and you just decide not to express it--but your words. They've hurt too many people in the past days, including me. Do you know how hard it is to pretend to be unaffected by a word grenade? Do you know how hard it is to pretend you're all right when you feel like everything is falling apart around you? We've had rough times--you and I both, and others out there," she gestured to the rooftop, where everyone else slept. When she was sure that the rest of her tears were able to be held back, she turned back around and faced him, dead in the eye.

"No, you don't understand," Levi countered, a little more stubbornly than she would've liked. "You don't understand what I've been through before I met you little pests. You don't know a single thing about me, [F/N]. Stay out of it."

"You don't know anything about me, either," [F/N] said quietly, digging her nails into the side of her thigh. "You really don't know what all of us have been through. But the main point is--you're not cooperating. All I'm asking for is that you be a little more considerate to everyone around you--"

"Consider--Considerate?" Levi scoffed in disbelief, rolling his eyes and setting his hands on his hips. "That's bull. You expect me to be considerate in exchange for a taste of cruelty that the world offers me? Is that right, [F/N]?"

"That's right," she bit her bottom lip. "I don't care if you're older than me. I'm still active as a leader in this group, and you will do as I say."

"But I've told you so many times--you're not fit to be one--I don't see you as one. You're far too young, you lack far too much experience, and you do not have the responsibility to carry out effective actions as the leader."

"Are you suggesting that you should be the so-called 'leader'? You're only two years older than me--and don't talk to me like I'm some kid, giving me the responsibility lecture--don't you ever stop and think, maybe the irresponsible and immature one here is...you?"

Levi flinched, and [F/N] had caught that--he scoffed, brushing it off--but deep inside, [F/N] knew that he knew it to be true.

"Shut up," Levi muttered, before gripping the bar that lined the stairway. "Just go sleep. I'm keeping watch. I'm not that tired anyway."

[F/N] sighed in defeat, before climbing up the stairs, refusing to look back. Levi didn't move from his spot, and she was glad; she didn't want him to follow her up to the rooftop.

When she had reached the peak, she closed the door behind her quietly, making sure not to wake anyone.

Everyone was spread out in disarray; Jean was slumped against a wall, lightly snoring as he held tightly on the blanket draped over him. Connie, surprisingly, was brought up here by Mikasa herself--she probably wanted to watch over him. Connie's wrists and ankles were bound, just in case he attempted an escape; he was curled up next to a trash can, and a lone blanket was draped over him out of sympathy, and he used his shoes as a pillow. Armin, on the other hand, slept in a fetal position on nearly the other side of the rooftop, trembling a little as a breeze had picked up. Unzipping the duffel bag that happened to be next to her, she pulled out a blanket, draping it over his body. Eren laid close to him, sound asleep. He clutched a blanket close to his stomach.

She hated it.

She hated seeing everyone so pathetic and so...plain, helpless, weak--it wasn't like them. They didn't deserve to hit the nadir of their lives at a blossoming age of seventeen.

"A-Ah."

[F/N] was slightly startled when she saw Mikasa, crouched over next to the opposing wall when [F/N] cut a corner to find a place to sleep. Mikasa stared back at her, her gaze empty.

"You don't have to keep watch," she reminded Mikasa gently. Mikasa only nodded, as if to say 'I know'. Her fixated gaze did not waver; perhaps she wasn't as tired as the others?

"[F/N], how long do you think this hell will go on to?"

[F/N] looked down at her feet, biting her bottom lip. She would like an answer, but...she didn't know.

"I don't know," she answered softly. "All we can do right now is to try to keep ourselves alive; we need to save ourselves."

"We always have an option of heading out of America. You know that, right, [F/N]?"

She only nodded in response. Of course she knew--Erwin owned a helicopter--but she knew what Mikasa didn't know.

The helicopter would only fit five of them, excluding Hanji and Erwin at the front, flying the copter; and there were six of them.

Mikasa shrugged. "Well, we do what we do every year, don't we? We rob. We kill. We have assigned kills. We kill some more. We eat. We sleep. And then it's the whole process all over again."

[F/N] nodded absent-mindedly, as her mind began to drift off--she was actually more exhausted than she thought she was. Sighing, she stretched for a bit, putting pressure on her legs and arms.

"Mikasa, would it be okay if I took a small nap?"

"A nap isn't a nap if it's not in the daytime. Get your sleep, you look...really tired." Mikasa smiled a little, gently nudging [F/N] on the shoulder. "I can stay up. I'll wake up Levi or something if I get tired. That bastard doesn't need sleep."

"Mikasa, please let that go, oh my god. That happened like, two years ago."

"Same-same," Mikasa huffed. "Just--go sleep. Save your breath."

She smiled at Mikasa with gratitude, before searching the rooftop; everyone was in different areas, and only Levi was missing--she assumed he would be here soon. Mikasa leaned against the railing that lined the edge of the rooftop--it looked somewhat risky, but she decided to shut up, close her eyes, and fall asleep on some wall somewhere.

-

"... [F/N]."

She turned in her sleep, stirring a little. I don't want to wake up, for god's sake. I can't even feel the sun through my eyes yet. It's probably not even noon.

"Wake up."

Ugh. Who is this? "N-No," she murmured weakly, refusing to open her eyes.

"[F/N]!"

Jolting straight up, she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands, running her fingers through her hair. She seriously didn't even know where she was; she was trying to shake all the sleep off of her. Then, she realized it wasn't even dawn; it was still pitch black outside. By now, [F/N] was just very confused, overall.

When her eyes accommodated to the darkness, she saw a figure by her. Mikasa stood in front of her, her breathing shallow--her eyes were wider than normal, and her lips were parted, as if she was about to say something. [F/N] was still very confused.

What the hell is going on? Why does she look paranoid? Why was she standing in front of me?

"Mikasa?" she asked, her voice strained and croaky. "What do you want? What's wrong?"

"[F/N], oh my god," Mikasa rubbed her forehead. "It's--this--this is bad. I really only want to tell you--I don't want this to get out of hand, but...I think we all have to go."

"Go? Go where?" she asked, frowning. I swear to god, if something major happened while I was asleep--

"Levi's missing."

-

[word count: 2369]

》 published april 18, 2016