Recap:

"Sooo what do you think?" I asked when I saw that she stayed silent.

"He's an ass" I laughed at that "but he is a cutie too. I mean he was completely lost when you started to cry. Oh and that deal. SOOO FUCKING SWEET.. Oh and" she paused and started to jump up and down screaming:

"HE FREAKING LIKES MEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

I smiled at her enthusiasm.

Step 6 here I come.

*EVIL SMIRK*

__________________________________________________________________________________

19 September 2016.

Today is my parents and my brother anniversary, but not that kind of anniversary when you all get together and eat some birthday cake. No. It's that kind of anniversary when you stay in your bed and cry your eyes out because you miss them so much.

My parents died 6 years ago on 19 September 2010.

My brother died 1 year ago on 19 September 2015.

You know it's kinda funny that my favorite people in the word died in the same day.

I think it's called dark comedy.

Last night I couldn't close my eyes for an hour straight without getting flash backs of what happened on one of those 2 nights. This happens every year but this year is different. This year I have to spent this day crying alone without my brother Lincoln. I always considered him my twin instead of my quadruplet because we have the same face, except he is a boy, opposite characters and we are inseparable. We were inseparable until death separated us forever. Until I die, I have to live without my other half, in a house full of idiots who don't give a royal fuck about me.

Sad but true. This is the reality we all live in.

My thoughts were interrupt by a knock on my door.

"Knock knock."

This must be Ethan. He is the only idiot I know who still thinks that the knock knock jokes are immortal.

"Who's there?" I said grumpy.

"You one and only big brother."

He paused for a second like he was debating what to say.

"Can I come in?" he asked his voice soft.

I sighed. "Yes you can." I said and turned in my bed to see him better because my face was hide under my pillow.

"How are you feeling? Wait that was a stupid question. I wanted to... I-I"

"Ethan, I'll be fine. It's just that this isn't my best day and you know that. I'll be fine." I said when I saw how he saw struggling to ask me how I was feeling without offending me.

He studied my face for a second and sighed. "I know. I was just worried that this year Lincoln won't be here for you that's all. Sorry for being so direct."

I sighed. He and the other idiots always try to avoid the Lincoln subject because they think I can't handle it. I hate when they do that. It's true that I don't feel very nice talking about my dead brother but sometimes I really need to talk about him. I hate that they avoid talking about him because of me.

"Ethan, how many times do I have to tell you that you don't need to apologize when you talk about him. I'm fine. I can talk about him. I'm not a porcelain doll that will break if you talk about something bad." I avoid his gaze because I was a little angry at him right now.

"Sorry, sorry. I forgot that you grown up and you are stronger than you look. Now be down in 10 minutes to eat with us" I tried to protest here but he continued "even if you'll stay home today."

"But-"

"No buts. If you are not down in 10 Flame will come after you." he said in a don't-even-try-to-protest-again-or-Flame-comes-now tone.

I hate that tone.

"Fine." I said and buried my face in my pillow.

I waited for him to get out of my room before I went in my bathroom to brush my teeth. I debated if I should change my clothes or not.

You are going into your kitchen not at a gala genius.

Shut the fuck up.

Fine. Pjs for the rest of the day.

When I opened the kitchen door my nostrils were filled with a delicious smell of bacon and pancakes. I love bacon and pancakes. I love food in general but that's not important now.

"It smells amazing." I said and plumped on the seat next to Flame.

"First, you are drooling my dear sister and second, finally you are up lazy royal ass. I thought that I should pay you a visit with my friend here." Flame said and gestured to his glass of water.

"First, I'm not drooling! It just smells amazing and I love food! And second, I know you would do that but sucks for you 'cause I'm here!". I showed him my beautiful tongue.

"Very mature." he said and snorted at my.

"Pig." I mumbled but he heard me because he glared at me.

I gave him a sheepish smile.

"Enough! Just shut the fuck up will you two? I'm tired and I can't handle your bullshit at the first hour of the day." my-not-so-dear-brother-also-satan-also-Sam said and glared at us.

"Stop glaring or your eyes will fall out of your empty skull." I said and smirked at him.

"Would you shut up?! And I thought you should be in your room crying a river over what happen long time ago! Or you finally realized that is your fault and stopped giving a shit?"

He just said what I think he said?

"What did you just said?" I said like the stupid person I am.

"I that you were crying without a reason and I asked you if you finally realized that all of this is your fault. Are you deaf or something? Or your crying damaged your brain?" he said his tone full of venom.

I was staring at him and I couldn't say I thing.

"What? Don't tell me that you don't have any idea about what I'm talking about. It IS your fault that all of this happened! Escape your bubble and face the truth!" he screamed at me.

"Shut up." I whispered.

"Why? Because the true hurts?" he said in a mocking tone.

"Shut up." I said again, this time louder.

"No I will not shut up because I'm telling the truth and I'm tir-"

"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP! DAMN IT!" I said and threw my glass of water into the wall

"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW THIS!!" I screamed out of my lungs.

I stopped to calm down a little.

"I told you to shut up because I already know this and I'm remanding me every day this already. I don't need you to rub it in my face because I already know this! And guess what genius! Every single day I wish that I died that day instead of them! Every single day Sam! Every single day!" I said and sprinted out to my room.

When I got inside of my room I felt on my butt and embraced my knees. I started sobbing like there is no tomorrow.

He really thinks that I don't know all those things?

He really thinks that I can sleep at night peaceful without any nightmares like nothing happened?

He really thinks that I don't give a damn?

My thoughts were interrupted again by a knock.

"Kno-"

"GO AWAY!" I screamed to my door.

"Sha-"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed again when I saw he kept insisting.

"Just-"

"Please. Please just leave me alone. Please." I said and my voice was shaking.

"Okay. I'll see you when I came home from work okay?"

I stayed silent because I couldn't trust my voice right now.

"Okay. Bye Shadow." he said and I heard his footsteps fading.

I started to cry harder.

I hate this day. I hated this day since I was 10 and I will always hate this day. This fucking day, first took my parents away from me, then he took Lincoln away.

"Who's next?" I said to no one.

"Huh? Who is next?"

"Whos is the next person I will lose this day?"

"River? Flame? Ethan? Sky? Or maybe Sparky?"

"WHO??!!" I screamed and punched the wall next to me.

The wall cracked under my knuckles.

"Who?" I asked again but this time my voice was barely audible even for me.

I stayed like that, with my fist in the wall and tears streaming down my face, for I don't know how long.

Maybe 5 minutes. Or one hour. Or 2 hours.

I don't know. Time looked like he died like my parents and Lincoln did.

I wanted to die to.

I wanted to stop this pain. I wanted to just disappear. I wanted to leave and let everyone be happy. I was so close to giving up. I was about to make it stop but Lincoln's last words came back to me.

"Promise me that you'll never give up. Promise me that you'll fight, like the true fighter you are. Promise me that you'll try to be happy and that you won't do that stupid thing again! Promise me that you'll fight with every hard situation you'll face. Promise me!"

"I promise. I give you my word and I pinky promise you. I'll never give up! I'll fight just for you!"

I promised him that day, on his last day, that I will never give up.

I won't give up.

I promised him.

I gave him my word.

I pinky promised.

And I'm not going to let him down.

This is not who I am.

After my internal fight, I went into the living room to watch something to distract myself. I plumped myself on the couch and turned the TV on. I decided to look on Discovery because I always liked this channel and I love The Ghost Busters.

Suddenly the door bell rang.

DING DONG

What the hell? Who could be at this hour?

Go and open the door genius. You can't see through the door. You are not a super hero or a X-men.

Stupid mind.

I opened the door to see Sparky standing in front of me with a very worried face.

"OMG! Are you okay? What I'm saying??!! Of course you aren't! I knew that you aren't sick! What happened?"

I looked at her dumfounded because she asked to much questions and my stupid brain couldn't register everything.

When I finally understood what she asked I sighed. "Sparky what are you doing here? You should be at school." I said my voice raspy from all the crying.

She scoffed. "Do you think that I would stay at school when my best friend is hurting? And don't you dare to tell me that you are just sick because I know you're lying! Those fuckers told me the same thing and it was crystal clear that they were lying. Now" she said and looked at me with her soft gaze "what happened?"

When I heard her soft tone and those soft tedy eyes I could fell my eyes filling with tears.

"Come in." I whispered and I opened the door larger to let her in.

We took a seat on the couch in the living room.

"Now can you tell me what happened? You don't have to if you don't want to. I mean.... I can't make you tell me if you don't want to...." she trailed of.

I looked at her for a second before I pulled her in a tight hug.

"I'll tell you everything Sparky just.... Just shut up now and just hug me. Please." I said while sobbing.

Damn I hate when someone sees me crying.

"I know that I look like a crying baby right know, and also like crap and like a weak person but-"

"Shut the fuck up. You are not weak. You are the strongest person I know. Every day when I look into your eyes all I see is sadness, but I didn't saw you one time complain or crying about it. Because you are fighting with everything alone without any help. And why are you doing that? Because you don't want to see the people you love sad. All of this make you a strong and caring person. So don't you dare to call you ever again a weak person. It's fine to cry sometimes. It's completely fine." she said while hugging me tighter.

I pulled out of the hug. "Thank you Sparky. D-do you....do you really want to know what happened?" I asked my voice barely a whisper.

"Of course. You are my best friend. Yours secrets are mine, and my secrets are yours. What's bugging you will bug me too. And who you hate I will hate too. You do a stupid thing I'll be doing that thing with you. You get arrested I'll high five you from the other cell. And I know that you'll do the same for me."

She had a determinate face on. She really wanted to know the true me, which wasn't a very nice one. She wanted to help me to get through all my problems. She wanted to know and this lets me awestricken because no one EVER tried that.

I took a deep breath, straighten myself up and pinched my cheeks to man up.

"It's time for you, Sparky, to find out my story. I warn you it's not a very nice one. If you want to run after I tell you everything and to stop talking to me I won't blame you." I said and looked dead in her eyes.

She scoffed. "That will never happen so go on. I'm ready."

"Very well."

________________________________________________________________________________________

Hello my little motherfuckers/biscuits! Long time no see I know. I'm sorry for not updating for 3 or 4 days I don't really know. I just had a hard time at home and I thought that it should be better to not post a chapter than writing a shity one.

But I'm back bitches with new chapters and I decided to try to find actors for my characters. Since now I wasn't very successful but I'll keep searching and I'll tell you all biscuits as soon as I find them all.

Now now, back to this chapters. What do you think about this one? And what do you think about this book so far? I know that is a little bit boring until now but things will get better I promise you that. Now I'll appreciate very very much if youl answer my question in the comment section because I don't know if you like my book or if I should continue this book.

Anyway, what do you think about Lighty's story? Will be a really bad one? Will Sparky stop being friend with her after she finds out the true? Stay tuned until the next chapter to find out!

<3 Love you all motherfuckers/bisuits,

- The_cookies_lover