° I crave those moments when the only ones speaking are our souls. °

Chapter 33

"Mal, did you ever hear of Sky being sick?" I asks as we swap notes from where we were sitting on the floor of the library, between two tall and wide shelves.

He removes his pen from his mouth, "not really, why?"

"Mum said something about him being sick the other day."

Jamal looks thoughtful ahead, then shrugs. "Maybe when he was being homeschooled, most people thought he was unwell then and that's why his dad kept him inside."

"Hmm," I thought it'll have something to do with Charlotte. Just the thought of Sky unwell was making me feel sick myself.

"Just ask him," Mal says simply, picking up an opened textbook from his side.

"Sky were you ever seriously sick?" I ask as if I was asking Sky himself. Mal looks at me and I shake my head, face palming. "It'll be weird and he'd know my mother was talking about him."

Mal laughs, "it wouldn't be that weird. He's your boyfriend, isn't he?"

"Mal!" I shriek, my heart jumping in my chest as my eyes go wide. I quickly look around, sifting books to look at the other side of the shelf my back was resting against just as Jamal did so too. No one was there and even if there was, they wouldn't have heard a thing but that didn't stop me from being paranoid.

"Sorry," Mal squeaks, holding his lips with two fingers. "But I didn't even say it loud like that."

"Still," I glare, shifting my butt on the ground. "Jesus, someone could have heard."

"Calm down, no one did."

I run my hand over my face before muttering. "And he's not my boyfriend."

He chuckles, "yeah but you like him and he likes you and you both are basically always together so you're kinda dating and it's like the same thing."

"It's not," I fold my legs closer to myself, feeling all warm and exposed. "And can we stop talking about this?"

"Fine, all I'm saying is; it won't be weird if you ask him, full stop."

"Yeah yeah," I say brushing the subject up and picking up one of the textbooks. I'd rather sit in the chairs but Mal likes reading on the floor and we can't exactly be chatty on the chairs and litter books around like this hence why we are here.

"And, not to add to your aging lines," Jamal starts and I groan knowing I won't like what he's about saying. "Try getting comfortable with it all, with Sky and talking a little about it. It's who you are and I just think you'd feel more normal and at ease if you talk about it. Even though not to me."

I eye him but he averts his gaze, seemingly concentrating on the book on his legs. "If not you, then who?"

He shrugs, "Maybe Nessa, I'm certain Al talks with her about his relationship," I told Mal about it and he couldn't believe it, he said maybe it's the reason Al left. "Or if not her, then create some online friend to chat with. Maybe a fellow LGBT guy? I don't know."

I chuckle, "you're cute."

He looks up quickly at that, making me widen my eyes. "But no homo though."

I cough, "yes, sure, of course." We look at each other and burst out laughing. "Jesus."

"Don't go gay on me Issy, it's kind of scary."

"I'm already gay," I mumble loud enough for him to hear and I can't believe I just said that. My face burns as Jamal shoves me lightly and playfully.

"That's my man, whoa. I love you dude."

"But no homo?" I say smiling and he nods quickly.

"Yes, sure, of course."

*

"Pizza and coffee time," Sky sings as I jump up on the bed of the truck, taking a seat beside him.

"Coffee?" I unzip my coat, "tsk, and here I thought I have already converted to a tea guy."

Sky laughs, "my devotion to coffee remains sweetheart, I just like tea but coffee's still peng."

"Mm-hm," I open up the takeaway plate containing the cheesy pepperoni pizza heaven. "Thanks for this though."

He shrugs, then looks around us. "Say, would now be a great time to give you that kiss I've been dying to give since I saw you this morning by your locker looking all sweet and handsome?"

"All sweet and handsome?" I laugh, trying to hide my colouring cheeks. I lean in closer to push a lock of hair out of his face. "You're the one looking all sweet and handsome."

Sky licks his bottom lip as if it wasn't pink and tempting enough before he leans in to press his lips against mine. Just then I hear some rustling and my heart jumps in fright as I shove Sky away from me, moving back myself too. My eyes dart around and even when I see that it's just an empty water bottle moving with the wind on the ground, my heart's palpitation doesn't calm down and I actually begin to sweat a bit.

"Ouch," Sky drawls, holding onto his shoulder as he pushed himself forward. "That was so uncalled-for."

I bend my head down, exhaling from my mouth. "I-I'm-"

"Hey Israel," Sky touches me and I recoil jumping off the truck.

"Don't touch me," I rasp out, "please."

"Issy calm the fuck down," Sky says jumping down too. "It was nobody, there's no one out here."

"It could've been," I say, looking up eye wide. First Jamal at the library and now this... It's like something out there is giving me a warning or so. "I can't do this."

"Issy, calm-"

"Don't tell me to calm down, please Sky," I beg, grabbing my coat from the truck. "It could've been something, we can't do things like that."

"But there's-"

"I'm out of here," I start walking away. "We'll do this next time, okay?" I don't make it three steps before Sky's hand latches on mine in a vice like grip, holding me in place.

"Don't go," he pleads, "please."

I sag down and it's like my whole feelings are trying to choke me up. I shake my head, "it's too risky."

"I won't do it again, I promise."

I turn around so I'm looking at him, his face breaking every wall I was trying to keep up. He had a frown on but his eyes were the sadness I've ever seen. "I'm sorry," I say unable to stop myself as I close the distance between us, cupping his face with my hands. "I'm sorry."

Sky shakes his head, his eyes closed and leans forward until our foreheads touch, "I'm scared to you know. I'm bloody scared every time I see you. I'm scared I'll fuck up, I'm scared it'll be the last time I see you. I'm scared-"

I want to kiss him. I want to throw caution to the wind and kiss him and assure him I'm not going anywhere but I can't. It's too dangerous and there's an invisible hand rooting me in place.

He opens his eyes and his beautiful grey ones meet my brown ones. We just look silently look into each other's eyes and it goes on for minutes. I'm supposed to be freezing but I'm not, I'm all warm inside. It's like I can hear a thousand words and feel them stabbing me all round from just a look in his eyes. Sky's eyes start smiling before his lips twitches into a curve, making me smile too.

"You fucking handsome, Israel Taylor," he breaths out and I chuckle releasing my hold on him.

"Says the Adonis himself."

"No, Issy I'm serious."

"So am I," I jump back on the truck, saying a silent apology to the pizza. I can't believe I was about to just leave it behind.

"Fine," he hops on beside me in one jump. "I'd agree to that if you agree you're bloody handsome."

I roll my eyes, handing him his cup of cooling coffee. "I'm bloody handsome, happy now?"

"Yes," he laughs tossing his head back. "Thank fuck."

I look at him with his smile on and I can't believe I was about to leave him. Like I can live with myself after. "You're crazy."

"Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and just go like," he crosses his arms, biting on his lips. "Damn."

I shake my head with a mouthful of pizza, "do you?"

"Sometimes."

I laugh, "narcissist."

"Being a narcissist isn't bad, Issy," he points out, literally pointing his pizza at me. "It just gets bad when it becomes all self centered and shit."

"Hmm," I watch him sip from his coffee, looking all happy and carefree like I didn't just freak out and almost leave five minutes ago. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

I look down at my half eaten pizza, "switch moods so easily. I'm still a bit shaken over what happened and I can't believe I almost walked away and you're all calm and cheery." I look back at him, really curious. "How?"

Sky shrugs, looking away from me. "Years of practice? I just always try to be happy you know, even if all the odds are against me."

Years of practice... I repeat to myself still looking at him and trying to widen the crack on the mask more. It's not always on anymore, but it's on now.

He looks at me with a small smile, "and you didn't walk away. You almost did but you didn't. That's enough to make me happy, Israel."

"Years of practice?" I ask, unable to shove it aside. "Why practice? What were you trying to hide?"

"Aye, too many questions Issy," he groans trying to wave me away.

"Sky," I grab hold of his hand. "Stop."

"I-" he sighs. "I don't know, okay?"

"Were you sick?" I asks, deciding this was the best time and just throwing it out there without any rehearsals. "Is that it?"

"What are you talking about?" He rubs his temple with a frown.

"I'm asking if you were sick? After Charlotte, did anything else happen after that?"

"Stop Israel," he says in a hard voice. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"I'm trying to understand you more okay? Pushing everything back doesn't help, tell me."

"And what if you don't understand?" He asks, staring at me eye wide.

I push his hair out his face again, looking him dead in the eye. "I will."

He breaks our look first, running a hand through his face. "Fuck!" He looks at my face up and down as if having an internal battle with himself, then he takes a large sip of his coffee. "After Charlotte, things just got fucked up okay? I got my hand stitched up and I went to therapy."

"Therapy?"

He nods, "I was having nightmares and shit and some people were saying I killed her, as if I didn't already know that myself."

"You didn't kill her," I say, my voice strong and grounded and making me proud.

"Yeah but I was supposed to be the one to die you know, I was one everyone thought would die."

"No Sky, no," I grab his hand, my heart breaking at hearing those words from him. "God gives and takes," I couldn't help myself saying that, I was a devote Christian for sixteen years after all. "No one has the right to tell who's going to die or not. You're here so you weren't supposed to die."

"No Israel," he shakes his head, making his hair bounce sideways around his face. "You don't get it."

"Sky-" I get cut off by the school when the small exit door behind the school opens up and two people stumble out.

The words disappear from my mouth and my eyes widen when I see recognize one person among them. It's Lou with a girl clinging unto him like a strapped bag upfront, a hand around her and one on her arse as they kiss like they want to eat each other's faces off.

I cough, going all red and Sky laughs, "oh, my days."

Lou has on his swimming clothes, sticking to his body like a second skin and the little hair on his is glistening damp, his skin glowing even from this distance. Sky looks at me, poking his tongue into his cheek and wiggling his brows at me with a mischievous teasing look in his eyes.

I gently shove him, looking away from the making out duo. I look back when I hear them laughing and I see the girl jump off him, removing the extra coat jacket on her and handing it to him. He quickly puts it on over his swim suit, putting his arms around the girl and turning around, our eyes meeting like magnets. I immediately look away cursing myself for getting caught and trying not to look embarrassed or blush.

"Louie, my man," Sky hollers and it's then I hear footsteps closer to us and I look up to see them already close to the truck.

Lou looks red, his cheeks and nose red and I can't tell if he's embarrassed too or if it's the cold. His swim googles are up on his head and his blue eyes shift from me to Sky before they both slap their palms loudly together. "Bro, shut up man." His eyes move to me, and he moves a brow. "Hey Taylor."

"Hi," I say forcing a smile on. I didn't know how to behave with both Sky and him here. I never imagined myself stuck with them both.

Lou smiles at me, licks his blue from the cold lips (although, not intentional) and his eyes return to Sky. "So this is where you hide off every time," it wasn't a question.

Sky rolls his eyes, "introduce me fucker."

Lou looks to the girl who his hand is still over like he has forgotten she's there. "Um-"

"I'm Shayla," the girl introduces herself extending a hand to Sky and then me.

Sky hmms, "Shayla's pretty." The girl giggles and Lou rolls his eyes.

"Well we are going to bounce," his eyes flick to me again and back. "I'll see you, oi?"

"Sure, later man," they shake hands again like proper brothers.

Lou winks at me, "Taylor."

"St Martin," I shoot back before he leaves, whispering something into the girl's ear that makes her laugh. He's so tall, he completely dwarfs her.

"You alright?" Sky asks tapping me and grabbing back my wandering attention.

I nod, then pick at cold pizza. "Yeah, I've never seen him with a girl before."

Sky laughs throwing his empty coffee cup down, "he's cold."

I raise my brow at that before I finally get it, my face hitting up. "Oh my-"

"Yeah," Sky winks at me, "speaking of cold, wanna come to my house after school?"

My voice is small when I say, "how does 'cold' have anything to do with that?"

He leans forward to hand me my coat, then shrugs. "You'll see?"

"Naughty," I mutter under my breath, then giggle.

"What was that?" Sky asks pretending like he didn't hear me.

"Nothing."

"Oh yeah?"

I nod, "I didn't say anything."

"I thought I heard you say-"

I shut him up with a finger before he gets to finish his sentence, "nothing!"

He nods with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Okay sir," he shakes his head. "So you'll come?"

"'Course," I whisper and when Sky starts smiling I shove Pizza into his mouth.

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What do you think? Sky didn't finish explaining himself interrupted by hot Lou... Do you think Issy still likes Lou?

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