I twirl the pen around my thumb as I listen to yet another ridiculous complaint. But I suppose it is my job to listen, agree and deal with these kinds of problems. That doesn't mean I can't internally complain.
"Please help, you're my last resort! I've tried everything!"
Yes, yes. Of course. I bet you haven't tried to use your common sense.
I put on my warmest professional smile. 
"Don't you worry, we'll deal with it."
"Oh and I've heard you need her ashes to find her." 
Oh no, he did not...
He rummages through his bag and brings out a smaller transparent one, filled with grey sandy matter.
He did.
No. You will never find me putting my hands in ashes to call some fictional ghost.
"That..." I stare at the plastic bag, barely able to get the disgust out of my face. "Will not be needed."
"Really?" asks the client.
"Really," I answer.
"You're free to leave," says my assistant, with her brightest smile. "We'll tell you when it's dealt with."
The client nods quickly and springs up. 
"Thank you so much," he exclaims, out the door in five seconds.
When the door swings shut behind him, Ann turns to me.
"I could sense your annoyance from across the room."
I stare at her.
"Wow, you're a psychic. Maybe you should be the exorcist."
She nods, as if really considering it.
"At least I believe in ghosts," she says. 
"I guess that's a bonus," I shrug.
"I'd say that should be a job requirement."
"Meh."
***
I shuffle down the street, the cold air playing the opposite of wonders on my health. Ann couldn't come to this exorcism, or as I call it UCSSM (Using Common Sense to Solve Mysteries.) She has a sitcom to watch with her boyfriend. And everyone knows that's so much more exciting that accompanying one's brother/boss to a 'haunted' site in the middle of winter. I guess I could've waited for her before coming, but we'd have arrived on site at midnight and I need my beauty sleep. 
I turn right and finally hit the abandonned museum. It's a wretched old building, complete with the usual crumbling structure. It's not my first time in these kinds of places, chasing after unscientific beliefs, but I will say that this one looks a little more creepy than some. I take the keys the client gave me and open the door. It takes about half-an-hour to scout the place and conclude that once again, I've had a delusional client that's caused me a lot of sleep.
As I make my way back to the door, a window catches my attention. I peer closer and notice a light outside. 
It looks like...a crowd of people. Very bright people. 
I frown.
They seem to lightly dancing on the gates, shedding light rays of different colours. 
"I am exhausted," I sigh, rubbing the ridge of my nose.
The window suddenly explodes. A strangled yell escapes me as I throw myself on the ground. 
I hear a giggle and raise my head, only to get yet another heart-stopping shock. One of those light-people-that- are-definitely-illusions thingies is staring at me, almost touching. No coherent thought forms, I just gape at the being. It smiles, sending shivers down my spine and leaps out the window.  
Okay. Reasonable explanation: I am extremely tired.
It takes a glance at my glass cuts to shatter that hypotheses.
Next hypotheses: I've gone mad.
I'd rather not have.

***
As soon as I enter my office, I see Ann.
"You look pale," she notices. "Been fighting ghosts?"
"I think I believe in ghosts now."
There's a moment of silence and Ann gives me her most unimpressed stare.
"Bravo. The exorcist believes ghosts are real."
"Oh shut up."