(warning: i wrote a sin, not a tragedy)

their breathing is heavy(dirtysoul) as dan's back presses into the soft mattress and phil lays his body between dan's parted legs, their lips attached in a chaotic kiss. the temperature in the room is rising with every swipe of phil's tongue against the younger boy, and even though there's a hailstorm outside, their bodies are hot, beads of sweat forming on their foreheads.

when phil moves further, pressing open mouthed kisses against dan's jaw, dan lets out a deep sigh of satisfaction, rolling his hips against the other to relieve his growing erection. dan can feel phil's teeth grazing his prominent collar bones, and that sends him into a frenzy of unholy thoughts, causing him to just whine impatiently, and tug at the hem of phil's shirt.

"you okay?" phil murmurs, raising himself up on his elbows and looking at dan who is staring at him with dilated pupils.

"yeah, just hurry up," dan whines and phil just laughs lightly at his eagerness. he wants to take it slow, it's an important step in their relationship anyways and it's not like any of them have any experience.

"have patience," phil leans in, pressing his lips against dan's, allowing dan to pull his shirt off him. their lips part to take it off, but as soon as it is off, they touch again in a brief kiss before dan flips them over, pressing his warm hands against phil's newly exposed chest.

impatient as always, dan leans forward placing a soft kiss against phil's cheek, lips travelling further and attaching to phil's neck and sucking the creamy skin between his teeth to leave a mark. phil just groans, enjoying the feeling of dan's soft hands pressing down on his chest. dan's mouth moves down to phil's torso where he presses wet kisses, until he reaches the slight dusting of hair in the abdominal region, above the waistband of phil's boxers that are peeking out of his jeans.

"can i take this off?" dan looks up to see a flustered phil, his cheeks pink and dark hair sticking to his forehead as he nods his head slightly. dan just smiles at him, showing off the dimples carving in his cheeks and pops off the button on phil's jeans, yanking the tight material harshly up until the knee and from there phil just kicks it off. in the process phil gets rid of dan's shirt and jeans as well, which join the pile of the discarded clothes on the wooden floor.

they spend another few minutes appreciating one another's body, hands running down the toned torsos and lips caressing the exposed skin before dan was back between phil's legs, pressing a kiss above the waistband of phil's black boxers. his hands traced the bulge in phil's boxers, causing phil to suck in a sharp breath and dan leaned over to press an open mouthed kiss over his clothed crotch.

dan looked at phil for permission, but phil's closed eyes and heavy breathing gave it away already. with shaky fingers, dan hooked his fingers under phil's boxers pulling them down to reveal phil's manhood, which was fairly(løcal) a good size. his fingers reluctantly wrapped around his length, stroking it slowly before phil groaned out of pleasure causing dan to slightly tighten his grip and increase his speed. he leaned forward, taking a deep breath and placing a wet kiss against the thick tip and before phil knew his member was encased in dan's warm mouth, the feeling too overwhelming to handle. phil just gripped the sheets helplessly, not wanting to buck his hips into dan's mouth as dan took him in further, bobbing his head up and down slowly and gradually increasing his speed. phil could feel the burn in the pit of his stomach as dan's tongue worked on his shaft, bringing him closer to release.

"dan," he choked back a moan, and dan stopped his actions, removing his mouth from phil and looking up at him.

"what's wrong?" dan panicked(!) and phil just smiled dizzily at him sighing out loud.

"nothing i was going to come if you continued," he blushed and dan just let out a breath of relief, licking his swollen lips and giving phil a shy smile.

"you scared me," he laughed lightly and phil pulled him up, kissing his lips and flipping them over.

"now let me do something for you," phil mumbled against dan's torso, pressing his lips to the golden skin and moving forward, pressing his palm against dan's crotch, causing dan to take in a deep breath, his eyes dropping shut.

phil got rid of dan's boxers, wrapping his hand around his hard length and pumping him slowly while his mouth worked on dan's hips, sucking the skin between his teeth, making dan squirm under his touch, his hand reaching forward to grip phil's dark hair. dan could feel phil smiling against his skin, as he parted his legs, hooking his arms around dan's thighs and pulling him forward.

"shit," dan let out a throaty moan when he felt phil's tongue press flat against his entrance, and he twisted his fingers in phil's soft hair, his other hand moving between his legs to stroke his unattended member. phil puckered his lips, spending a few more time pleasing dan, licking and probing the tip of his tongue around the rim, until dan was painfully hard and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. when phil removed his mouth from dan's center abruptly, dan just peeked down to look at him, laying his head back on the pillow as phil rolled over, checking the hotel drawers for lube.

"do you think they will keep lube in the drawers phil?" dan rolled his eyes and phil just pulled out a bottle of cherry lube, staring blankly at dan.

"it's a honeymoon suite, of course they will," phil said as if it was the obvious and dan just rolled his eyes again, leaning forward and pressing a kiss against phil's cheek.

"just continue," phil just shook his head. he already knew dan would be bossy and loud during this, and honestly, he loved it. he loved how comfortable they were with each other even though neither of them had ever done anything before. phil leaned back down, wrapping his hand around dan's shaft and sucking the tip for a moment, before letting his mouth travel further till it was again at dan's entrance. he coated one of his fingers in the solvent, pressing his finger against dan's entrance before slowly pushing it in.

"is it okay?" phil looked up at dan, as he nodded frantically. he looked so beautiful like this, his cheeks flushed, lips parted and hair messy, fawning all over his forehead.

"yeah," he groaned. "just keep going," it was slightly uncomfortable, the intrusion of phil's finger but phil was distracting him by placing soft kisses on the inside of his thigh and that made it better.

fifteen minutes later, phil was scissoring three fingers inside dan, who was a moaning mess underneath him, the pain that was disturbing him in the first few minutes was gone as phil stretched him, and he pushed back desperately against phil's fingers.

"phil, just fuck me," dan impatiently growled, causing phil's eyes to widen and his cheeks to heat. he slowly pulled out his fingers from dan, placing a kiss against his stomach before rolling over once again to retrieve the foil packet. he tore it open with his teeth, rolling the condom on and coating his length in a generous amount of lube.

"you sure, right?" phil murmured, hovering above dan, their lips brushing against each other and phil's fingers pushing the wavy hair off dan's sweaty forehead.

"mhm, yeah," dan nodded his head, rolling his crotch into phil's desperately. phil just pressed his lips against dan's, pressing the tip against dan's entrance, and pushing in slightly.

"fuck," dan groaned, eyes dropping shut, hands tightening their grip on phil's hips.

"are you okay? should i stop?" phil anxiously spoke and dan just shook his head.

"no," he breathed out. "just wait a minute, let me adjust," dan was biting his lip harshly, his eyes screwed shut when he asked phil to move again.

phil obliged, peppering kisses all over dan's face to distract him from the pain. he looked down at the pretty boy underneath him, the amber lighting of the hotel bringing a soft glow to his skin, his lips swollen and pursed, eyes screwed shut. before phil was half way in, dan was stopping him again.

"dan we don't have to-" phil began but dan just tangled his fingers into phil's hair, pulling him down and kissing him reassuringly.

"it's okay, it's my first time, it's supposed to hurt," dan ran his hand soothingly over phil's naked back and phil relaxed a bit into his touch.

"i'm sorry it's hurting so much,"

"it's worth it, baby," dan placed another kiss against phil's neck, burying his face into his shoulder and asking him to move.

phil pushes all the way in, searching dan's face for any discomfort but dan just smiles at him with glossy eyes, placing a kiss on the corner of phil's mouth. of course it hurt, but the feeling of phil's lips pressing reassuring kisses into his skin, his soft touches and the careful way he was handling dan was enough to make him forget about the pain.

"you're doing good baby," dan murmurs against his skin, and phil presses his lips against him, slowly pulling out before pushing in again.

"i feel like the roles are reversed," phil mumbled and dan just laughed lightly, wrapping his legs around phil's back allowing him to move in deeper.

"it doesn't matter," dan let out a soft gasp as phil moved in and out of him at a slow pace, the pain declining with every thrust and every kiss. dan's hands reach down to grip phil's hips, an attempt to pull him closer, his face buried into phil's shoulder.

phil was following a steady rhythm, rocking his hips slowly into dan's, feeling dan's hot walls around him. he could only imagine that it would be like this. it was a tad bit overwhelming, but it was a rush that both of them gladly accepted and enjoyed. phil could feel himself growing closer to the edge with every thrust inside dan's tight entrance.

"fuck," dan interrupted phil's chain of thought as he let out a loud moan, his finger's dipping into phil's skin and his teeth biting at phil's shoulder blades.

"you alright?" phil paused his action, raising his head to look at dan.

"fuck, yes, just keep going," he struggled to speak as phil pushed in again, hitting that one particular spot that had dan flustered.

"harder," dan panted, pulling phil's hips closer to him as phil's lips moved down to dan's neck where he placed soft kisses, occasionally travelling up to dan's mouth, increasing his speed, pushing in harder and deeper with each thrust.

one of phil's hands travelled between them, stroking dan's member and thrusting into him at the same time, causing dan to grunt and tighten his legs around phil's waist, his hands gripping phil's hair tightly and his teeth digging in his swollen bottom lip.

"i'm close," dan mewled, his voice high pitched and strained and phil tried bucking his hips harder, slamming his hips into the younger boy causing him to let out a string of unholy words, his breathing increasing with every thrust.

"i'm about to come dan," phil buried his face in the crook of dan's neck, before all he could see was white, riding out his orgasm once he felt dan's entrance clenching around him. he continued thrusting sloppily a few more times, until he felt hot liquid spasm on his chest, a loud moan elicited by dan and then he collapsed on top of his lover, his heart racing and mouth dry.

"fuck," dan breathed out, wrapping his arms around phil's waist and kissing his shoulder.

"that was good," phil mumbled in dan's skin and dan laughed, still a bit dazed from the orgasm, rubbing his fingers through phil's hair.

"yeah it was," dan said as phil leaned up again, pressing his lips against dan's forehead softly, and pulling out. dan winced once phil wasn't there to fill him, his bottom sore and phil kissed him once again, rolling off the condom and discarding it in the bin.

"you okay?" phil asked, picking up his shirt to clean off both of them and dan just nodded tiredly.

"yeah, just sore," dan yawned. "and tired,"

"do you want to sleep?" phil questioned pulling his boxers over his hips and handing dan his.

"yeah," phil climbs into bed beside dan, pulling the duvet over both of them and wrapping his arms around dan's waist, pulling him to his chest. dan just leans into phil's grip tiredly, kissing his lips once before closing his eyes.

"thank you," dan mumbles after a moment, nuzzling his face into phil's chest and wrapping his arms tighter around his body.

"i love you," phil simply replies, kissing the top of dan's head before leaning forward and switching off the lamp. it was kind of crazy how it felt, as if they were the only two people existing and there were no homophobic parents or the fear of constantly getting caught. it was relaxing and in a strange way it felt warm. the overall experience of being this close to each other felt warm and familiar even though it was their first time. somehow this unfamiliar hotel room in the middle of nowhere was like a void, taking them away from every single problem.

and right now, as dan breathes softly against phil's chest and phil rests his chin on top of dan's head, they feel safe. after a long time, of constant back and forth and paranoia, they feel safe and everything is okay.

at least for a while.

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there was a time when i was thanking you guys for 100 reads and now its 100k. thank you guys so much for your support i love every one of you❤️