Sophie's mind practically exploded with questions as her muscles tensed up, and she froze, almost afraid to breathe. What was Keefe doing in her room? Did he realize she was awake? Should she say something? Was that a terrible idea?

Before she could open her mouth, he continued in a hoarse whisper. "I'm such a jerk. I hate to admit it, Foster, but you're right: I'm reckless and irresponsible and thoughtless, and I don't deserve your friendship. Then I went and got those girls to come meet with me in front of you because I thought it would be cool or something stupid, and... gah," he moaned, and she heard rustling. She guessed he was running a frustrated hand through his hair, messing up its careful perfection.

There was silence for a moment, and Sophie wondered if he had left for a second. Then he spoke again. "You looked so beautiful tonight, Foster. So, so, so beautiful. I swear my heart stops just looking at you sometimes. I could barely stop staring at you when dinner was over, when I knew you weren't watching." He groaned again. "Ugh, why am I such an idiot? You deserve so much better than me. I'm a worthless jerk. And there's more!" He laughed softly, bitterly. "I'm selfish, too. I'm selfish because sometimes I think about telling you how I really feel about you instead of hurting every day like this. But you're too good for me and you know it. I guess you picked up on that faster than I did, huh?" He chuckled bitterly, and Sophie felt her heart break a little. Why did he have to make it so hard to stay mad at him?

She felt light pressure on the bed near her feet, and quickly realized Keefe must have sat down. She opened her eyes — only a crack — and just in the far corner of her eye, she could finally see him. His eyes were wet; it made his ice blue irises look like small oceans in the moonlight streaming through the crack in the curtains. They held enough depths for that to be true, Sophie noted. She felt another pang of guilt, and something else that she couldn't name. Whatever it was, the powerful mix made her gasp softly.

Keefe's head snapped up, and Sophie wished she could hit herself in the head. How could she blow her cover like that? Was she really that bad at stealth?

Thankfully, after a second, Keefe looked back at his hands, which he was fidgeting with on his lap. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know this, even if you won't remember when you wake up... Look, I know I crack a lot of jokes, and I have this whole troublemaker thing going on, but I swear, the last thing I've wanted to do since day one when I first set eyes on you was hurt you. You're the only one who takes me seriously. You're the only one that... gets me. Not even Fitz can ever get it, and we may as well be brothers at this point. Besides all his Alvar drama, he's always had everything handed to him on a golden platter. Literally. And I just... I didn't really have anyone. Until you."

He fell silent. Sophie opened her mouth, bracing herself to sit up and give away that she was awake so she could kindly ask him to leave (yes, he was apologizing. But not for the right things, and she really didn't have any strength left at this time of night to really deal with him). But before she could, she saw from the corner of here eye Keefe run a hand down his face, as if he were in pain, and he spoke yet again. Sophie held in a muffled scream of frustration. Why couldn't he just stop for one second so she could ask him to go away? All she wanted in that moment was to sink into a deep, deep sleep and not wake up again for a few days. Or weeks.

Honestly, she didn't even really understand why she was so angry with him. She'd told him all she understood about the jumble of emotions thrashing in her heart, but most of the feelings yearning to be freed were completely foreign to her. In truth, she just wanted him gone so she didn't have to feel anymore. It was getting harder and harder by the minute.

Her mind re-focused on his words before a fraction of a second was up from the time he opened his mouth to speak. "Foster— Sophie..." He ran a hand through his hair again, looking drained and lost. Something tugged in her heart for him, but she refused to feel it. "Ugh, I'm too good at avoiding the point, huh? Lying is so much easier than this. But the least I owe you is the truth, even if you're sleeping while I spill it. So... I'm sorry. Really, I'm sorry." He shifted in his seat gently to face her, and she quickly snapped her eyes shut. "I don't know how much the Forklenator told you, so I'll just start from the beginning.

"A few days ago, my dad didn't come home from a think with his fancy, snobby little friends. Big deal, right? My dad's gone. I should have celebrated!" He paused for a second. "Okay, I did celebrate a little bit. Just a few hours with about a million different kinds of snacks, and only, like, one trap for coming home so late by the door. But that's not the point," he said quickly, his more playful tone going back to sober as swiftly as it had come. It almost made Sophie want to tell him it was okay, but she mentally slapped that idea out of her brain before it could develop too much. "So, I partied for a few hours, and Ro even helped me set up a smelly green bacteria in his pillowcase, right? Well, by the time one a.m. hit, I actually kinda sorta started worrying a little bit. He never comes home that late. But I figured 'Hey, maybe he's staying over at one of those snobnoxious jerk's houses and I don't have to deal with him!' So at about one-thirty I picked up my Imparter and hailed him to make sure I was right. Y'know, just in case, so I didn't loose any valuable sleep over him for no reason. But when I called, the screen flashed 'Not Available.' At first I thought he somehow declined my hail. But I tried a few more times to annoy him into answering, and on the tenth try, the screen said 'Unreachable.'

"So, at this point I was kinda starting to really freak out. I forced myself to call a few of his friends to make sure he was good, but the ones who had the common decency to answer said they hadn't seen him since he stumbled off to the bathroom after consuming a tad too much fizzleberry wine. And, of course, when I asked, they said they hadn't gone to check on him before they left. But one of them said they saw some guy head for the restroom a second or two after him. But he didn't care enough to see what the guy even looked like. And that little detail didn't seem important until..." He stopped again. His breathing suggested that he was close to tears, but Sophie didn't dare open her eyes to check. Didn't dare move. She wasn't ready to be found out yet. As much as she needed him to go, she needed to hear what he had to say. And even if she didn't, his voice had her too spell-bound to do anything about it.

And definitely not because his voice sounds kind of hot when he's emotional, she found herself thinking.

Sophie ground her teeth so loud and smashed her eyes together so hard she was surprised Keefe didn't hear her. How could she even think that? And where on earth had that thought come from?! She had never liked Keefe Sencen, and she didn't now. She practically hated him! That thought was absolutely ridiculous and backed up by nothing.

Then why did you think it? a part of her whispered. At this, she decided it was time to just stop thinking. Because the only answer she had?

I don't know.

She fortunately didn't have to think about it for long, though, because he cleared the thickness from his throat and continued his chronicle.

"Well, last night I found a note in my pocket. Essentially, it said, 'We have your dad. Go here. If you bring a weapon or person or army we will literally murder you. Thanks for your time!' " He let out a quiet laugh that sounded more like a guttural whimper. "Of course, I went. It took at least an hour to convince Ro to stay behind. You wouldn't believe what I had to promise her." Sophie heard him scoff softly, dryly, like the life was being sucked out of him little by little. She cursed him for smashing through to heart with one, tiny sound. It made her want to hate him so much, which made it even worse when she found she couldn't. But still, she suppressed her exhaustion, forcing herself to listen on. This was important. She didn't completely understand why, but this was important.

He proceeded to tell her what she already knew: that Keefe had gone to a Neverseen base, alone, unarmed, and completely vulnerable. That he had been roughly escorted inside — blindfolded — and when they took it off of him, his mother was there. And she took him to another room, where Lord Cassius had been laid out on a lab table, pale, wounded, and unconscious.

Mr. Forkle had told her that much after he angrily interrogated Keefe himself. He'd also told her that Keefe had come back almost as beat up as the image of Lord Cassius in his head, that Lady Gisela had done it herself, warning him that what was happening to his father would happen to him if he didn't start "embracing the change." Just thinking about it made Sophie want to scream at him for going into a dangerous situation again without backup. Or a plan. Or anything. But the way he narrated, sounding so vulnerable and defeated... she could find no power to do it.

He let out a soft, but somehow heavy sigh. It was almost wistful. "There's one more think. Something I didn't even tell the Forklenator. He was too steamed when he found me to hear this. I swear he would've murdered me or something if Elwin hadn't shown up in the nick of time." His voice almost sounded more like his again. Almost. But it was still heavy with a still-unspoken burden.

Sophie waited as the seconds ticked away, and with each second, her heart ached a little more, her anger burned a little less, and her curiosity rose. What was he holding back?

Finally, he said it.

"My mom said she'd kill you if I didn't cooperate. I was about to agree when the Collective swooped in and rescued me."

Keefe had said it so matter-of-factly that it took Sophie a second to process what he'd said, a second more to realize a tear was slipping down his cheek, dimly illuminated by the thin beams of moonlight from between her gently-swaying curtains.

One more second, and...

Her heart shattered.

Sophie stifled a sob as she realized what he'd been willing to sacrifice for her. He'd been willing to throw his whole life away just to keep her alive. And she'd treated him like dirt because she thought he was being selfish.

No, she found her thoughts correcting. You treated him like dirt because you care. You were afraid. Afriad he was going to get himself killed. And why do you suppose that is?

Sophie laid there, utterly silent. Utterly still. Where had that thought come from? And what the heck did it even mean?

Before her brain could even completely process the startling revelation, Keefe said something. Something so monumental, it snapped Sophie's mind into a clear, yet dream-like focus.

But he said it so softly, she almost didn't hear him say it: "Okay, I'm done with this. I'm done pretending and covering for myself and all that junk. I don't care anymore. I. Love. You."

The words washed over her like a hurricane. They were so unexpected that Sophie sat bolt upright and breathed quietly, "What?"

Keefe just stared at her. His face resembled the face Sophie remembered making when she was five, and her cousin was telling a completely uncensored ghost story (which would definitely still terrify her, even after everything she'd been through). It took her about five straight, very long, very awkward seconds to realize the reason he was staring was because she'd given away that she was awake. Big time.

They stared at each-other in a trance-like awe. All words had left Sophie's mind, all thought, all reason. All she knew was him.

Her first thought-abandoned impulse was to reach out and touch his face. He almost didn't seem real. But, when the tips of her fingers brushed the soft, warm skin of his cheek, her head came plummeting out of the trance and straight into a different one, caught just in time by the wind before being broken. This trance was much more focused and self-aware. But Sophie's self-consciousness flew out the window to chase the moonbeams when her fingers slid down, making room for her full palm to stroke the side of his face. She did it in such a fragile motion that she was almost afraid she was dreaming.

Sophie shivered when Keefe's eyes widened, as if in slow motion, then fluttered closed as if on a whim. She felt his cheek get warmer under her touch.

"Foster... how long were you listening?"

Sophie jumped in her seat a little when he spoke, her delusions of the whole thing being a dream officially smashed into itty-bitty pieces. His smirk turned into a stifled laugh.

"What?" She asked, cursing herself for sounding like an offended five-year-old. Especially when he just lost it more, covering his mouth as if he was just realizing other people were probably asleep. What time even was it at this point?

Pffft, I don't care.

"You're just so cute," he managed to say once he'd more-or-less calmed down. Sophie felt her cheeks go to about 100 degrees almost immediately. Fahrenheit or Celsius, you may be wondering? Let's just go with "either one could work."

Keefe's smile fell, and his eyes shifted to his lap. "Look, I don't know how much you heard, Foster, but if I overstepped, can we just pretend it never happened? Please?"

It was kind of shocking how fast Keefe Sencen could go from high to low. Sophie blushed harder when she found herself thinking how it was kind of hot. It was so not the time to think about that mess. She'd sort those feelings out later, when she could actually think past the way his eyes glistened in the dim light of the moon, or the way he hadn't pushed her hand away. "Keefe, I-"

"It's okay," he interrupted, his head snapping up quickly for emphasis. But those tired puppy eyes were not backing him up too well. "We don't have to talk about it. Seriously, I get it. I know you like Fitz. Really Foster—"

His ramble faded in Sophie's mind until all she could tell was that his lips were moving. She knew what she wanted to do, but... should she really do it?

Instead, she put her finger to his lips in a "sh" sign, and he immediately went quiet. Sophie blinked hard and looked away. "Keefe, I heard everything you said before. Everything. And I'm not mad at you. A-at least, not anymore," she corrected, fumbling to find the right words for what she was trying very hard to communicate instead of doing the thing she might regret. "I'm sorry for blowing up at you earlier. I was sick of watching you go and practically try to get yourself killed. But... I was wrong to be so harsh. I didn't even know the full story. And as for what you said last," — she gulped — "I... Well, I..."

There were no words left, so she stopped. Keefe waited with expectant eyes, filled with a masked dread. It put cracks in her heart she didn't even know were possible. But this wasn't simple. It couldn't be simple... could it?

When Keefe ducked his head, seeming to accept the doom he expected, Sophie made up her mind. She couldn't just let him suffer like this. And she didn't want him to. So she kicked caution to the wind, placed her other hand on his face, and pushed up on his chin so he would look at her.

"Keefe," Sophie said softly, for the first time not caring how much emotion had snuck into her voice. "Listen to me. I don't like Fitz. And do you wanna know why?" He didn't answer. Just stared with glassy eyes, waiting. She had to gulp back all reserve. She had to let herself be free.

A second for courage. A second to realize that she didn't need to hide anymore. A second to let herself put her hope in something again. Then she whispered, "I love you."

The words shocked her as much as they seemed to shock him. She had never been willing to admit that to herself. She had never felt ready. But once the words settled in her brain, they felt so right.

But.

There was always a but, wasn't there?

Sophie wasn't ready for what was supposed to happen next. What she craved more than anything she'd craved before. It was one of those moments where there's something you've been striving for and striving for, but when the moment finally comes for that something to happen, you find that you just can't do it; it's not the right moment, no matter how much you want it to be.

So instead of leaning in for a kiss, Sophie wrapped her arms around him and hugged as tightly as she could, letting her tears fall freely. Yes, she had just passed up a perfect moment. But she was embracing him. She hadn't run away. And that was enough.

Keefe seemed to think so, too; she felt wetness on her shoulder. But he was probably crying for completely different reasons. And, from the smile she could feel through the fabric of her shirt, she knew they were good ones.

They sat that way for what felt like lifetimes. It could have been years; it could have been a minute. But, for that moment, they clung to each-other like their lives depended on it, like they were the only ones they had to hang onto. A few gentle breezes floated in from the window, making the light look like it was swirling with the dust. No moment could have been more perfect.

Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. After a while, Keefe carefully undid Sophie's arms from around him, and took her hands. She wasn't about to make any complaints about that, though.

"How are you so amazing?" he whispered sincerely.

Sophie blushed, but not a scalding, uncomfortable blush; it felt more like a glow. "I never really thought of myself that way."

"Well, you are," he informed her earnestly and squeezed her hands just a little more, not buying the light and airy tone she'd used when she said it. But she should have known better. He was an Empath. He could probably feel her insecurity. She was honestly surprised he hadn't figured out she was awake before, now that she considered it.

Sophie felt the glassiness still in her eyes. But she didn't bother to wipe it away. She didn't have to hide from him. He knew her. And it made her heart swell in a way it never had before.

She cleared her throat, but didn't pull away. "So, what now?"
(Shannon used this line a lot in her other series lol. I'm currently reading it. It's AWESOME. But if you're under 13, I don't recommend it. It can be a tad cringy in some parts. ANYWAY)

Keefe smirked. Then the smirk broke into the weirdest, cutest little giggle ever, something she'd expect more from Dex. "I have no clue. I've never exactly professed my love before or anything."

Sophie couldn't help but giggle too, JUST because he giggled. "I mean, technically I've done this before, but not really. And besides, that time did not go over well at all."

He giggled again. Clearly they were now in an unspoken competition for who could giggle the cutest. "Well, I guess we could start with this...," he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and she couldn't help but grin, "then either I can finally let you sleep, or—" He stopped abruptly, his face turning tomato red.
(You just got TOMATOED.)

Sophie's mind started to go somewhere, but she quickly shut that thought down. Keefe wasn't no scoundrel. And he certainly wasn't known for being pushy. So instead, she smiled, gave him a playful side-shove, then gave him a quick peck on the lips.

Looking back, the moment probably looked like when those random, super adorable, super innocent ten-year-olds think they're madly in love and try to give kissing a try. But it felt so much less awkward. By a little bit. Until she leaned back and found herself blushing furiously for the hundredth time that night. But who's counting?

Keefe's voice sounded like a squeaky faucet when he said, "Did you just kiss me? And was it somehow both weird and the most perfect thing that has ever happened to me?"

Sophie couldn't help it. She collapsed into a fit of giggles — right into his lap, as a matter of fact — and apparently her laugh was contagious, because pretty soon he joined her. They laughed until their throats were scratchy, clutching each-other so they wouldn't roll right off the bed, never breaking eye contact.

So maybe that first kiss wasn't exactly how they'd both probably imagined it. But it was just how it was supposed to be. And they had plenty of time to try again in the morning, or the day after that, or the day after that. But that night, Sophie and Keefe were satisfied with fixing some misunderstandings, having maybe a bit of an imperfect (but still completely perfect) moment, and waking up all of Everglen with their loud laughter.

They were so getting questioned in the morning.

- - -

Okay, first of all, for those curious, Kiri won Tam lol. (Sorry Ali—)

Wow, I can't believe these are finally over... I hope this group of three was worth it? Because I fought through some THICK writer's block to get this to you. You're welcome <3

Oh, also, I dedicate this to my mom, who is in Emergency 1 right now (as I write this, that is), and is the best mom ever to walk the Earth. Love you Mommy! (UPDATE: My mom is fine, everyone! Thank you so much for all the support, I really appreciate it <333 )