NEGAN

A month, one goddamn month has passed and I'm still nowhere near as close to Maggie as I want to be. I'm beginning to think something was said though, because she's not so hostile these days. Still not enough to get excited over, but at least she isn't giving me the usual cold shoulder.

"Negan!" Judith squeals from behind me, and I turn just in time to catch her as she leaps into my arms. She's much heavier now, no longer the small toddler I held on my second visit to Alexandria.

    "You're getting big sweetheart. How old are you today, four?" I tease, grinning when she scrunches her face up.

    "I'm six! Did you get me a present?"

    I place her back on the ground and pull a small, wrapped box from my back pocket.

    "Happy birthday, Judie." I say softly as she opens it up and pulls out the small, golden chain. I smile when her wide eyes lock on the small ballerina attached. It was simple, but I had thought of her when I spotted it in a display case.

    "She's so pretty!" she exclaims in admiration, holding it out to me so I can hook it around her neck.

    "Just like you. Now come on, it's time to go eat." I say before standing up and making my way over to the picnic tables. We treat birthdays like holidays around here, understanding that growing older in this new world is something to celebrate as it's never a sure thing.

Catching a glimpse of Maggie, I watch as she hands Hershel a small container of grapes, and when her eyes connect with mine I give her a small nod. She looks beautiful as ever, with her brown hair falling to her shoulders in messy waves. Her shirt is unbuttoned just enough to set my mind ablaze, and I have to look away as my heart begins to race.

    I blink when I hear a small cough, my eyes scanning over the group to find Hershel standing off on his own. His back is turned to me, but I can see how he's holding onto his throat, mouth open and body jerking as if he's struggling for air.

    I leap into action, rushing towards him and swiftly lifting him up into my arms so I can perform the Heimlich maneuver. I can hear Maggie screaming, but I ignore the cries as I focus on saving him.

    It feels like a lifetime before I hear the soft 'plop' of the grape hitting the grass, Hershel's loud cry informing me that everything is okay now. I hold him close to my chest and look back at Maggie, who is being comforted by Enid as she cries. A bitter memory fills my mind, flashing images of the night I murdered her husband. I don't deserve a chance with her, or even love at all for the things I've done.

    I walk over to her, rubbing over Hershel's back as he holds onto me tightly. I stop when I'm standing in front of her, and she tilts her head back to meet my gaze.

    "T—thank you," she whispers, voice a bit hoarse from screaming. I nod and gently pass him over to her, watching as she buries her face in the small crook of his neck. I look around at the others who are watching us with wide eyes. 

    I cough, rubbing the back of my neck before turning to walk down the street. I need to give up my silly game. We wouldn't be good together, with me being a constant reminder of what she lost and her not fully being able to trust that I've changed. She's better off without me trying to force my way in.

Everything is better without me....

A/N I can't wait to read what you guys think. Let me know!