'Rosie,' Sarah swallows, steps closer. 'You have to think about this, take some time...'
'I have.' I round on her. 'Don't you think I have?'
'Look, I know that with your mum gone everything's strange and scary---'
''You don't know anything!' I scream at her, my legs trembling. I've never shouted at Sarah, never yelled, never... but suddenly all the feelings that have been bottled up for too long gush out in one big mess. 'You don't know,' i shake my head. ' you don't - you can't...' I look away.
Sarah sighs. 'All I'm saying is that it's too soon to be making choices like this, to take the test ---'
'Too soon? When do you want me to find out? When I've got kids too? I'm not a child any more Sarah - I'm nearly eighteen!'
' I know, Rosie, but this is a life-changing decision we're talking about here. There's no cure, and once you know, you can't go back...'
'I can't go back anyway!' I choke on the words. 'And no, actually. It's not a life-changing decision because nothing actually changes, does it? It's already decided whether I love or die - I'd just quite like to know which it's going to be, okay?'
Sarah looks beaten, hopeless.
'What kind of life can I have otherwise?' I ask quietly. 'Not knowing? Not knowing if one day I'll end up like ---'
'You wont.'
'Sarah, it's hereditary,' I sigh. ' it hangs in the toss of a coin.'
'No.' She takes my shoulders gently, her eyes so sad. 'Rosie, sweetheart, you don't have Huntington's. You don't need the test.'
' I'm not asking your permission, Sarah.' I tell her quietly. 'I've got an appointment at the clinic on Wednesday, and---'

7