Something happened that day three years ago. I know something did. I felt it. But my memory forbids the recurrence. Whenever I try to remember the happening, my head starts to hurt, like it prevents me from remembering, prevents me from knowing. It seemed like a huge part of my brain was chunked out, removing the memory it contains. Something off. Something to fill out the blanks.

The winter sun's rays glisten against the glass wall, illuminating one of the living rooms inside our vacation house located in a small town far from Seoul. There is a nearby park where citizens go every night since the lake turned into a wonderful skating rink and if I just go out the balcony, I could even hear their muffled laughters. The town isn't as luxurious as in the cities and no towering buildings everywhere. But the peace and quiet called us here. And we somehow can't turn it down.

Sighing, I settled further into the couch, gazing at the sky and trying to clear my brain. I don't even know how to explain the feeling every time I try in vain to refresh the memory. Even when I tried to talk to Baekhyun about it. Even when I tried to explain. It's all clouded... Invisible. Forgotten.

When my phone suddenly rang beside me, I almost jumped. It was an email. And unfortunately, it isn't from someone I want to be contacting me now.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Dinner?

Chanyeol, hello. Hope you are all doing well. I wonder where you'll be celebrating Christmas? I'm sure it'll be a great place. By the way, I'm hosting dinner tomorrow, 8pm. Hope you could finally, finally come. Please bring Baekhyun and the kids, too. Everyone of us would love to finally meet the twins.

Again, I am sorry for everything. We all are. And I would never stop apologizing to you and Baekhyun, not ever. Please come home soon, Chanyeol. It has been two years. We miss you. We miss and love you a lot. We'll be waiting. Take care.

My fingers clench around the phone before placing it back on the coffee table. It has been two years, she said. Two long years since Baekhyun and I ran away from Seoul. Since I tried to shut and break all the connections I have with my family.

Two years... And I wonder why the wound they left still hasn't healed. My parents send us weekly letters and emails, even postcards of the places they come to visit. But the coldness in my heart refrains to melt. Nothing better, nothing healed. I tried helping the healing though, Baekhyun did, too. But there's something in me, a very small part of me, that knows I could have suffered far more than this. I could have suffered more pain if Baekhyun did run away, if he did leave.

How I felt that? I don't know. I don't have a clue. I just... know.

The refreshing scent of brewed coffee filled my senses, instantly bringing me back to reality. My husband gently placed a mug of hot coffee on the table in front of me before settling on the couch himself, a knitted blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Baekhyun sipped from his own mug before muttering, "Dara sent me an email." he smiles. "I reckon you received one, too?"

"I did." I answered, watching him place his mug on the table. "I didn't email back. Did you?"

Baekhyun snuggled nearer, placing his head on my shoulder and letting me wrap my arm around his frame. Every time he is this close, I imagine him gone for a millisecond. It was a very short moment of unimaginable illusion and I hate my brain for that. I hate that for that millisecond I see myself without Baekhyun in my life.

Ever since that day, my brain sometimes feels foreign.

"What do you think?" he whispered. "I always email back, Yeol. I tell them it'll always be up to you. Because you're the boss of me." he giggled and I have to laugh, too. Gently, I planted a kiss on the top of his head, feeling him sigh. Despite the heater, the room is still quite cold and I have to run my hand over his arm to keep him warmer.

"I'm sorry, baby." I whispered back against his hair. "I'm sorry if I still can't bring myself to forget everything, to forgive them. They're trying, I know. And to forgive is the right thing to do... But it is hard for me. It's just... I need more time. More-- And I'm not-- I'm not as strong as you---"

"You're the reason why I can forgive every single one of them." Baekhyun said, pulling back so he could look into my eyes. "You're the reason behind the decisions I made three years ago. And maybe... Maybe it was easier for me to forgive them because I know-- I know I almost hurt you, too. I... I almost left, didn't I? I almost left you behind..."

"But you came back." I said, touching his permanently flushed cheek gently. "It's what matters the most to me. And besides... they made you leave. They hurt you. It'll be easier to forgive them if it was just me. But you? You, of all people?" I scoffed, feeling the familiar anger boil inside of me again.

I felt a hand on my knee, giving it a squeeze. "Hey." Baekhyun murmured. "It's okay... I'm here now, aren't I? I'm never leaving you again. Never for anything." And when I looked into his eyes again, everything just start to turn into the familiar blanket of calmness. Park Baekhyun could take all the negativity away in just a small twist of his plump lips or a gaze of his hazel brown eyes. And he's the only one in the world who could do that to me.

My lips formed a small smile and I gave Baekhyun a gentle kiss. "I love you." I murmured against his lips. "I really, really do."

"We're married for almost two years already and you're still cheesy, Mr. Park." Baekhyun giggled as he touched my cheek. After my mother sabotaged our 'original' wedding day, making Baekhyun and I leave for good, we got married in this town after three months. There wasn't much guests; just a very few friends from both sides.

Baekhyun's hand is soft against my face and I could feel the coldness of the wedding and engagement rings he's wearing. But then he stopped, smile disappearing and brows slowly knitting together in worry. "Baby, your face's burning. Are you okay? Is it the headaches again?" His thumb brushes the side of my face and I leaned unto his hand, closing my eyes in comfort.

"The weirdness gets me every time." I kidded just to make him less worried. "I can't stop thinking about it whenever I'm alone. I-- I just know something happened before Jiyong told me you're not in your room, before I even put on that tie..."

"Chan, you're doing it again." Baekhyun said sternly and in a second, the headache is there again and I have to flinch. "I told you---"

I breathed with my mouth. "Can we do it again?"

"Do what?"

"Reminisce." I answered. "Just... Let's try it again. See if I could finally remember something."

Baekhyun pulled back, taking his mug of coffee and shaking his head in disapproval. "We already did that numerous times, Yeol. It'll only make your headache worse." But I know I have to at least try. Something happened that day. I know that. I know that in my heart. In my soul.

"I was crying when I was putting on that tie, Baek." I started and although Baekhyun opened his lips to protest, he knows he couldn't stop me from blabbering on so he just gave out a long sigh and leaned closer, listening intently. "I stopped fixing the tie because I was shocked tears ran down my face. And the frantic knocks came---"

"It was Jiyong." Baekhyun continued for me. We already did this recollection countless of times, he already memorized my side of the story. "He told you I wasn't in my hotel room anymore. And you both dashed out to find me. But just when you're about to run for the elevators---"

"You came running towards our direction..." I whispered, still finding myself grinning from the memory of Baekhyun sobbing and wrapping both arms around my neck tightly. It was one of the very few pretty memories of that day. Him coming back... It was like life smashing right through me. He was apologizing then and it took us ten whole minutes to make him calm down. "And then my parents came... And Dara..."

Baekhyun looked down, probably remembering the hatred and cruel words my mother threw at him that day. I reached out for his hand and held them between mine. "She tried to save me," my husband breathed. "Your sister, I mean. It's not her fault. And your mother... She was just trying to save you, too. Every one of us... We were just trying to save someone. And in my case, I was trying to save us."

"I know." I murmured as I pulled his hand against my lips, kissing his knuckles. "But do you remember what I told you? About the strange feeling inside of me... About Dara and about the 'what if's'? I-- I honestly felt like-- Like you did leave. And you... You left me for good."

"Chanyeol---"

"It's crazy. I know, I know." I said, shaking my head. "But the feeling it left me, Baek..."

Baekhyun's brows furrowed again. "What feeling?"

I sighed and decided to just say it instead. Baekhyun is my husband. I ought to tell him everything he needs or has to know. Especially my troubles in life. "I felt like something happened before I was even putting on that tie and that something is the reason why I was crying. It almost felt--" I hesitated because it'll sound crazy even for me. But Baekhyun's encouraging and expectant eyes told me otherwise, so I continued in a whisper, "I almost felt like my soul left my body for a while and when it came back, I totally forgot everything already..."

After the confession, I buried my face in my hands because letting all the thoughts out is both crazy and headache-triggering. I immediately felt Baekhyun's hand on my head, brushing my hair gently. It isn't much but it somehow eases the pain. "Here," he whispered. "Mind drinking the coffee I made for you?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry," I groaned, taking the mug and sipping from it. Baekhyun's coffee would always taste heavenly and it immediately washes some of the pain away. "That was strange... And crazy... And weird. I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry if I'm blabbering out this nonsense---"

"Not nonsense, Yeol. Maybe crazy. But not nonsense." Baekhyun said calmly, watching me with a small smile. "And that's what you felt, right? Who I am to question that?" he added with a grin and despite the situation, I suddenly find myself chuckling. I gripped the mug tighter in one hand and intertwined our fingers in the other.

"Thank you for the coffee, baby."

"Sure." Baekhyun giggled, winking. "And hey, want to hear something weird, too?"

"From you?" I asked, raising a brow. "No way."

"No, seriously." he laughed. "I know this'll sound crazy, too. But that day, when-- When I almost left, I was waiting for the valet to get my car and I don't know, but I think someone or something whispered in my ear, or maybe right beside me, I don't know..." he shook his head, looked away and back at me again. His eyes are partly showing confusion but the sincerity didn't leave.

I can't help furrowing my brows. "This is the first time you're telling me this, isn't it?"

"Um, yes." Baekhyun nodded shyly. "Because I thought it might have been the wind or whatever, but when I gave it another thought just now, I realized it's really strange. And weird, too."

"So... What did it say?"

"I think it said, 'Stay.'." Baekhyun answered, eyes softening. "And I don't know... But it suddenly became a wake-up call, making me think straight. And I realized, What am I doing? I'm leaving the man I love. What am I doing here leaving? And so, I came back. Because I can't leave you... Because I love you..." His hand tightened against mine and I can't help but smile, too.

"It might have been an angel." I suggested, grinning.

"Or the soul that left you." Baekhyun murmured back with a smirk.

"Oh, our story fits." I chuckled, placing the mug of coffee back on the table and slowly leaning in closer. Baekhyun did the same, his hands reaching for my shoulder and the back of my neck. The smirk didn't leave his face and I can't help but get turned on with the look he's giving me. I gently captured Baekhyun's face in one hand before gently pressing my lips against his, feeling them open to welcome mine. I licked the side of his bottom lip before pinning it between my teeth and sucking.

A moan escaped his parted lips and that was it before a rush of footsteps came into notice, followed by arguing. I dropped my head against Baekhyun's shoulder with a groan and he giggled before giving me a soft kiss on the head. "They're finally home." he whispered. "It's the last day of classes before winter break so they're both excited."

"I know. I could hear them from here." I chucked before pulling back from my husband and settling back on my previous position on the couch. "Wonder why I wasn't able to hear the school bus arrive." And just as I was getting back my coffee, the five year old twins, Baek Eun and Chan Won, came into the living room arguing over something. As usual. We adopted them five months after Baekhyun and I got married. And even though they're not from our own flesh and blood, some say they look like us in some ways.

The joy the twins brought into this house the very moment they came into our lives would never be compared to anything. We love them so, so much and we'll give them everything in this world if we have to. They completed us. Gave us a family and made us feel like one. Everyday with them was content and happiness.

And this life... This is what Baekhyun and I always wanted. Maybe not perfect. But happy and full of love. This is our dream. And the universe granted it to us. For that, I am forever and immensely grateful.

However, today are one of those typical days for the twins.

"I'm telling you those skates under the bed are mine!" Baek Eun hissed at her brother, rolling her eyes and flipping her long, wavy brown hair behind her back. "I asked Daddy to get it for me from the storage room. Try getting yours and quit claiming mine!"

"Oh yeah?" Chan Won snapped back, his small eyes narrowing even more. He pulled off the beanie hat he's wearing, messing up his bangs and straight brown hair. "Didn't you see the Pororo sticker I put at the sole of those skates? Well, check twice before you claim that those are yours, Baek Eun!"

"Ugh! I told you, there are no stickers!" Baek Eun groaned before started screaming, "Daddy! Daddy! Chan Won's being a bully again!" she started dashing to our direction and Baekhyun and I just looked at each other, shrugging.

"Papa!" Chan Won shouted. "Papa! Baek Eun just called me a bully!" In an instant, the twins are right before us, arms crossed over their chests. They are both glaring at each other and although the fight looks slightly serious, we both know they can't stay mad at each other. They always end up sleeping side-by-side every night anyway. I even witnessed them murmuring apologies to each other one night when I was about to give them their glasses of milk.

"You two want to go to the skating rink tomorrow or what?" I asked, trying to sound stern. I decided one day that I want to be the 'disciplinarian' in this family.

Baek Eun's eyes widened. "Of course, Daddy, we want!" she pouts. "Please, Daddy, let us go. Please, please..." then she looked at Baekhyun with puppy eyes. "Please, Papa..."

"If you two hug and say 'Sorry', then maybe we could go... tonight?" Baekhyun offered with that eye-smile of his, my heart almost leaped up my chest. Damn. I still can't get used to that. And almost immediately, Chan Won pulled his sister into a bear-crushing-hug.

"I'm sorry, Baek Eun! I'm sorry, I know those skates are yours I just want to pull off a fight--"

"What did you---" Baek Eun gasped and tried to pull back. But Chan Won just tightened the embrace instead. "Yah, Chan Won! Let me go!"

"Please, forgive me, Baek Eun! I really want to go to the skating rink tonight, please forgive me! I love you, sis! And I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Chan Won muttered continuously, even with his eyes closed and brows furrowed.

Finally, Baek Eun sighed, her arms wrapping around her brother. "I'm sorry, too, Chan Won." she murmured. "I'm sorry if I called you a bully. And I'm sorry if I shouted at you. I... I also want to go to the skating rink tonight." When the twins pulled back from each other, they both looked at us expectantly. They are both still wearing designer clothes and shoes I bought for them last week and I realized that no matter how I tried to become the disciplinarian, I always end up spoiling them.

So I looked at Baek instead, raising a brow. "Baby?"

"Change your clothes and we'll go after dinner." Baekhyun grinned and in an instant, the twins cheered in unison before racing back to their room. We watched them with smiles plastered on our faces. Children. They would always be a beautiful sight.

"I just love winter." Baekhyun sighed as he again snuggled nearer, closing his eyes and burying his face on the crook of my neck. "And I love these moments... You... The kids."

"Me, too." I whispered as I kissed his hair. "Winter's lovely."

THE END