A/N updated 4 times. Make sure you start at chapter 25

"Happy birthday!" Dean yells, jumping out from behind the wall as soon as Castiel steps into the kitchen.

"Holy sh—" Castiel breathes. "God, I was not ready for that."

"I know you weren't," Dean says with a grin. "It's now officially breakfast time — except it's actually way later than breakfast should be and it's bordering on brunch now but shut up it's breakfast— and I think we should go to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast."

"Dean, I really don't want to go out in public," Castiel says.

"Which is why they made drive-throughs," Dean says. "Come on! We can stay in the car the entire time, but trust me, it's gonna be fun."

Castiel hesitates, then shrugs. "Yeah, sure. What's a little driving gonna hurt?"

Dean pumps his fists victoriously. "Awesome! Let's go!"

He takes Castiel's hand, interlacing their fingers as they walk out to the impala. Dean opens the door for his fiancé, and Castiel chuckles as he slides into his seat. Dean quickly hops around the car and slides in next to him, and they're off.

"Is this your emergency substitute for going out for dinner?" Castiel asks, mostly just to make conversation.

"Nope," Dean replies with a smug smile, but after a pause, he says, "Well, yeah, kinda, but no. So it's like a substitute and a half."

Castiel just looks at him for a moment before asking, "Are you under the impression that what you said actually made sense? Because it really, really didn't."

"I know," Dean says, seeming satisfied with that. "So, what do you want to do on a fine day like today?"

Castiel looks out the window at the dark clouds covering the sky. "Well, first I'd like to know why you consider this a fine day."

Dean sighs dramatically. "Cas, a day can be fine for more that its weather. Today is not a fine day because it's probably going to start raining pretty soon. Today is a fine day because it's the anniversary of the day that changed so many lives, especially mine." Dean flashes him a smile as he says, "It's the anniversary of the day Gabriel could officially start annoying everyone with his bitching about having little brothers."

Castiel can't help but laugh. "I can't believe you managed to make my birthday about Gabriel. Kudos to you, Dean. Nicely done."

"Thank you, thank you," Dean says. "But really, what do you want to do today?"

Castiel rests his head on his hand and stares out the window, thinking about that for a few moments. Finally, he just says, "I don't know. I guess I don't really want to do anything today."

Dean scoffs. "You what? It's your birthday, Cas! We gotta do something!"

Castiel cocks his head in confusion, turning his gaze back to his fiancé. "Weren't you just telling me after the... ya know... show..." Castiel awkwardly trails off. He could just call it "the bombing" like everyone else probably does, but it just makes him feel so uncomfortable. He just can't.

"Wasn't I just telling you what?" Dean asks, giving him the opportunity to finish his question without having the finish the phrase.

"That you and Sam didn't celebrate your birthdays growing up?" Castiel finishes. "I'm pretty sure that's what I remember talking about, so I don't really see why you care."

Dean seems to tense up at that, though whether it's the conversation or the memory itself, Castiel isn't sure. There's a moment of silence before Dean speaks, long enough to leave Castiel wondering if he ever will.

"Growing up with my dad, no, we didn't," Dean says finally, "but Bobby made sure that no matter how broke or how busy we got, we'd still do something every year, and that's the mindset I'm going into this with. We've kind of got the opposite situation here, where we've got too much money and too much free time and nothing to use it for, but I'm still going to make this an awesome birthday if it kills me. You're just gonna have to suck it up and enjoy it. Sound doable?"

Castiel smiles to himself at that. Dean's really trying right now, isn't he? It's kind of adorable,

"I think it's very doable," Castiel says. "Wait, why aren't we going to that Dunks?"

"I don't like that one," Dean says simply, barely even acknowledging its presence as they drive past the building.

Castiel scoffs. "It's a fast food donut joint. What's the difference between that one and any other one?"

"I just don't like that one," Dean says with a shrug as they continue on their merry way.

"We are still going to Dunkin Donuts, right?" Castiel asks slowly. That's all he agreed to, and he's not looking for anything else.

"Yep," Dean says. "Just not that one. I don't like that one."

Castiel raises an eyebrow. "You're kinda freaking me out right now."

Dean scoffs. "Seriously? I skip a Dunks and now you think I'm gonna, like, axe murder you in the woods or something? Come on, Cas. Where's the trust?"

"I honestly just flat out don't trust you," Castiel says. "And please don't axe murder me. I have too much to live for. I'm not even 23."

"Yes you are," Dean says, confused. "It's your birthday. That means you're 23. That's kinda what a birthday is."

"Nope, not 'til 8:29 tonight," Castiel says. "Or technically, 2:29 because a year isn't exactly 365 days, so I'm not 23 for a few more hours."

"Which means there's only a few more hours until I can axe murder you?"

"No! No axe murdering!" Castiel says firmly.

Dean groans in exasperation. "Fine, I'll let you live."

"Are we going to that Dunkin Donuts?" Castiel asks suddenly, pointing it out as soon as he sees it so Dean doesn't drive past it.

All Dean says is, "Nope," as he drives past it.

"God, you really are going to axe murder me," Castiel whispers.

"But you can't prove that until I do," Dean says smugly.

"I just want to reiterate my point that I'm only okay with going to Dunkin Donuts," Castiel says. "I really don't care if you have something else planned —"

"No, we're still going to Dunks," Dean assures him. "I wasn't going to force you out of hibernation like that. I just don't like that Dunks."

Castiel stares at him for a moment. "Dude. It's Dunkin Donuts. They're all the same."

"Nah, I don't like the employees at that one," Dean says.

"You'll literally speak to them for ninety seconds," Castiel deadpans. "I think you'll survive."

"Well, too late now," Dean says with a shrug.

Castiel rolls his eyes. "You know, we could be home by now."

"Welp, that's what you get for moving in with me in an area with shitty Dunkin Donuts," Dean says dismissively. "On a completely unrelated note, I was wondering, you haven't been writing any songs lately — that I've noticed, at least. What's up with that?"

Castiel doesn't respond for a moment, trying to find a good answer to that. He can't say that his brain basically just shut off. He's always used writing songs  as a coping mechanism of sorts, but he just hasn't been able to write anything lately. He can't find it in him to write cute little love songs after everything he's seen, but when he tried to write about that night, just to get it off his mind, he couldn't. How's he supposed to explain that?

Finally, Castiel just says, "I haven't felt up to it. I'd rather watch a movie with you."

"You mean you'd rather watch Aladdin for the 700th time," Dean corrects him. "That's great. Glad you're putting in time where it matters."

"I think spending time with you is the best use of my time," Castiel says.

Dean scoffs. "Yeah, tell that to the two million people waiting to buy your next album."

Castiel shrugs. "They'll survive. I'd still rather watch a movie with you."

"Which I could understand if it was the exact same movie every other time," Dean says. "How many more times are you planning on watching Aladdin before you start reciting the whole thing like Lucifer and the Bee Movie?"

"I don't think I'm gonna get that far," Castiel says.

"At this rate, you'll have it memorized by the time training camp starts," Dean says. "And speaking of training camp, are you going to come watch one of these days?"

"I don't know," Castiel says reluctantly, mostly because he doesn't want to just say he won't. He doesn't want to go. He doesn't even want to leave the house, and certainly not leave the house without Dean, but if Dean's on the field, he can't be with Castiel.

Fortunately, it doesn't seem to bother Dean, because he just says, "That's what I thought, but I figured I'd give it a chance. Whatcha gonna do when I'm gone, then?"

Castiel shrugs. "Play guitar? Watch Disney movies? Be bored?"

"Basically the same thing you'd do if I was around, then?" Dean asks teasingly.

"But without the snuggles," Castiel says. "So it's not gonna be as fun. Are we gonna go to that Dunks?" He points to the one down the road, hoping it will give Dean enough time to notice it. "And if you say you don't like that one —"

"No, that works," Dean says. "I just gotta figure out where the entrance is." He looks out the window, eyes scanning the building.

"Right there," Castiel says, pointing.

"Right, that's really specific," Dean says sarcastically. "That one's the exit... oh shit, I missed it."

Castiel smacks his forehead against the dashboard repeatedly, as if that will someone get them to Dunkin Donuts any faster. God, how difficult is this?

"I'm sorry! I don't have a bird's eye view of the place!" Dean says defensively. "I couldn't find the entrance! Would you rather I just drive through the exit?"

"At this point, I just want to go home," Castiel mumbles, leaning back against his seat and propping his head up on his hand to look out the side window.

"No, don't say that!" Dean says quickly. "We'll make it to the next Dunks, I promise. Otherwise, we just wasted our time for no reason."

"We better," Castiel mutters.

"But car ride means more talking time," Dean says excitedly. "So, what's new?"

"Literally nothing," Castiel deadpans. "This is the first time I've left your house since I got there, and it's been almost a month. I have done absolutely nothing."

"Woah, okay, someone's not happy," Dean says. "I thought you didn't want to leave the house?"

"I don't, but I don't want to be stuck there because people can't leave me alone, either. I just..." Castiel sighs. "I wish I was normal."

Dean scoffs. "You? Normal? God, there must be something really wrong for you to want to be normal."

"I'm serious," Castiel says. "I wish I never took that record deal. I wish I never recorded any of my songs or done any of those interviews or played any of my concerts, and everyone would still be alive and I would be looking for a permanent job with my new college degree and there'd be some other gay icon making headlines and I could just live a normal life and do normal things and no one would come up to me when I left the house and no one would write articles about everything wrong with me —"

"Cas..." Dean pauses, then says, "I want to give you a hug but I'm driving so I'll give you a hug later, but come on, Cas. Don't think like that. You can't change the past, so why bother thinking about why you wish you could when you could think about why you should be glad you can't?"

"What are you talking about?" Castiel asks slowly. He's not making any of sense right now.

"Think about it," Dean says. "If you hadn't gotten your record deal, millions of people wouldn't know their favorite songs. There'd be more people scared to come out because there was no one out there killing it who was very openly gay. You know you've gotten letters from people saying you're the reason they came out, so you know I'm right. There'd be less people who could brag that they've met their favorite celebrity. All that money you've donated to charities or people who really needed it would have been in the pockets of people who couldn't care less. That random, impulsive decision to take that record deal has done so much for people."

"Yeah, like gotten them killed," Castiel says quietly.

Dean sighs. "Don't think like that, Cas."

"How do you want me to think about it?" Castiel asks. "Hundreds of people got hurt at my concert, Dean — hundreds of people that wouldn't have been there if it weren't for me."

"It wasn't your fault, Cas," Dean says.

"So if I hadn't had that concert, those people still would have died?" Castiel asks. "I don't think so."

"No, but those whack jobs would have gone and bombed someone else's show instead, and a different group of people would have gotten hurt — maybe even a bigger group of people. That's just how the world is," Dean says. "So I'm not having this conversation with you — not on your birthday. How about we do something fun on the ride, instead?"

"What kind of fun?" Castiel asks suspiciously.

Dean turns his music off — it was so quiet, Castiel had forgotten it was on — and begins singing, "I can show you the world!"

Castiel smiles to himself. Okay, so maybe this is his idea of fun.

So the duet starts, and it doesn't stop until the song is over, with Dean singing every word as if he hadn't admitted to never having seen the movie before Castiel moved in with him. Maybe he wasn't wrong when he said Castiel makes him watch it too often...

"Hey, is it eleven o'clock yet?" Dean asks.

Castiel glances at his phone. "In two minutes, yes it will be."

Dean grins. "Awesome."

"Why is it awesome?" Castiel asks.

"You'll see," Dean says with a mischievous grin.

"Is that why you keep driving past all these Dunks?" Castiel asks.

"No, I just can't find a good one," Dean says. "The one we just passed when we were talking about how you're really blessed with your record deal was the good one, so now we have to go find a new one."

"Why don't we just turn around and go there?" Castiel asks.

"Because then it'll be on the other side of the road and it's a pain to cross the street to pull in," Dean explains. "That one's only the good Dunks if you're coming this way, not if you're going back towards my place — our place? Are we officially saying you live there?"

Castiel shrugs. "I don't know. It was your house first. Am I living there or visiting for a while?"

"If I say you're living there and it's now our house, does that mean you're morally obligated to hang around all the time, even when you decide to start doing stuff again?" Dean asks. "Because if I can keep you around, I'm totally doing it, but if I can't, I'm going to call it my house just so you have to listen to me because you can't mess up my house." Dean shoots him a teasing smile.

Castiel chuckles. "Let's say it's our house and I won't leave you," he says. "I can't believe you just manipulated me into officially moving in with you. Manipulation is the first sign of an unhealthy relationship."

"I don't have a healthy anything," Dean says dismissively. "It's very fitting."

"Maybe if you'd eat an apple every now and then..." Castiel says.

"But we're gonna eat donuts instead, because they're so much better," Dean says with a grin.

Suddenly, Castiel's phone rings, so he pulls it out to check the caller ID. It's from Gabriel, of all people, and they never talk over the phone, so this must be important.

"Can I take this?" Castiel asks his fiancé.

"Can you put it on speaker?" Dean asks. "Otherwise I'm going to feel awkward just sitting here."

"Uh... sure?" Castiel says uncertainly. He answers his phone and puts it on speaker, then says, "Hi?"

Suddenly, there's a loud scream of a bunch of voices yelling, "Happy birthday, Castiel!" through the phone.

"Aw, you guys are the best," Castiel gushes. "Whose voices do I hear? It sounds like a lot."

They go through the group, each person saying their name — Lucifer, Claire, Gabriel, Charlie, Garth, Sam, Anna, Michael, Samandriel, and Adam.

"And baby Alex!" Lucifer adds, and as if on cue, Alex mumbles something unintelligible.

"We figured if you wouldn't come down to see us, we'd just bring the birthday party to you!" Gabriel says.

"Have you opened our presents yet?" Charlie asks.

"I didn't realize I had presents to open?" Castiel says uncertainly.

"I hid 'em so he wouldn't see them 'til it was time," Dean says. "I'll give them to him in a little bit."

"You should FaceTime us when you do!" Charlie says. "I wish we could have been there with you in person, but that's the next best thing."

"Can do," Dean says.

"When is that gonna be?" Gabriel asks. "Cuz I can't just stand here all day."

"You would 100 percent stand there all day," Sam says.

"Shh, don't let Castiel think I like him," Gabriel whispers loudly.

"But really, when should we expect a FaceTime?" Claire asks. "'Cause if it's around one o'clock, tell me now so I can put Alex down for her nap early."

"Maybe an hour?" Castiel says uncertainly. "Or two, judging by how long it's taking Dean to find a satisfactory Dunkin Donuts."

"I'm very particular about my donuts!" Dean says defensively. "Don't judge me!"

"You guys are so weird," Gabriel says with a laugh. "Are we keeping you from your donutting? Would you like us to go?"

Castiel nudges his fiancé gently. "If I say 'yes,' will you pull into the one right there?"

Dean groans, exasperated. "Fine. I'll get us the donuts now. Bye, guys! Thanks for calling!"

"Bye!" everyone says in unison.

"Happy birthday, friendo!" Lucifer adds as someone on their side hangs up the phone.

Dean pulls into the Dunkin Donuts Castiel pointed out, where they're stuck waiting in a fairly long line. They didn't really have the hang up that quickly, now that Castiel thinks about it.

"Did you know they were going to call?" Castiel asks his fiancé.

"Oh, of course not," Dean says sarcastically. "I didn't think anything was going to happen — definitely not at eleven."

"And was that really not why you kept ditching all the Dunkin Donuts we passed?" Castiel asks.

"I skipped them cuz they're shitty excuses for a fast food restaurant and are disgracing the great name of Dunkin Donuts," Dean says. "And because there are a million of them around here and there's really no reason not to."

Castiel raises an eyebrow. "So you really hate that many Dunkin Donuts around here?"

Dean nods. "Yep. They all suck. Not this one, though. This one's great."

Castiel raises an eyebrow but decides to just roll with it. "So, what type of donut should I get?"

"Chocolate!" Dean says immediately.

"Or glazed," Castiel says. "I think I'm gonna get the honey glazed one."

Dean scoffs. "What was the point of asking if you were just gonna get glazed?"

"So I knew what not to get," Castiel says teasingly.

"Wow, thanks, Cas," Dean says sarcastically. "Really feeling the love." Changing the subject, he asks, "Do you want two? I'm gonna get two."

Just the concept of eating two donuts makes Castiel nauseous, so he passes it up.

"Alright, be boring," Dean says. "I'm gonna treat myself anyway."

There's a moment of awkward silence, and Castiel silently begs the workers to hurry up so they can get their donuts and leave.

"So, this is taking a while," Dean says finally. "Whatcha want to talk about?"

Castiel just shrugs.

"Let's talk about... music."

"Music?" Castiel repeats. "What is there to say about music?"

"Anything can be a conversation starter when you try hard enough," Dean says. "How about... who would you collab with — is it called a collab in music or is that just for YouTube videos? — if you could?"

"Bon Jovi," Castiel says immediately.

"Okay, what currently relevant person would you collab with?" Dean asks.

Castiel shrugs. "I don't know. Can't Bon Jovi be relevant?"

"Nope. Try again."

Castiel rolls his eyes. "God, I don't know. I don't really like collabs. I'd rather work by myself. It's just hard to say I don't like something someone else suggests, you know?"

"Wait, is that why you write all your songs alone?" Dean asks. "'Cause everyone I've had the misfortune of seeing on Twitter uses that as, like, 'Woah, he's so powerful and amazing, he does it all by himself, no co-writers!' and I kinda figured it was for bragging rights or something."

Castiel chuckles. "Yes, Dean. I write all my songs alone for bragging rights." He shakes his head, amused. "You're the only person who would think that. You know that, right?"

"I bet if I asked the internet, I'd get a lot of people to agree," Dean says. "And it's a pretty valid reason, honestly. Who doesn't want to prove they're better than the competition that easily?"

Castiel rolls his eyes. "Music isn't a competition, Dean."

Dean scoffs. "Really? Tell that to the entirety of Twitter."

Castiel doesn't get to respond because Dean pulls up to the window, not just ordering their donuts but a large strawberry colada with extra whipped cream, too.

As they pull up behind the car at the window to pay, Castiel asks, "Can I have some of your colada?"

"Sure," Dean says. "I can give you this one and we can go to a different Dunks on the way home to get another one, if you want."

"Would that take another half hour?" Castiel asks. "Because if so, I'm out."

"Nah, maybe an extra five minutes, tops," Dean says.

"Alrighty," Castiel says with a grin. "I'll take your colada."

The car ahead of them pulls away, so they pull up to the window to pay. Dean pulls his wallet out of his back pocket.

"That'll be $4.69," the woman in the window says.

Dean hands her a fifty dollar bill. "Can I get the car behind me, too?"

"Uh, sure?" the woman says uncertainly, but does whatever it is she does in that little window to pay for both orders without questioning him. "And your change will be $34.20."

"Keep it," Dean says, waving it off. "Pocket it before anyone can tell you not to, and no one has to know."

"Seriously?" she says in disbelief.

"Yeah, sure, why not?"

She eyes him skeptically for a moment, then shrugs. There's a pause as she probably puts the money in her pocket, and then she hands Dean a paper bag with their donuts, followed by the colada. Dean takes a sip, then hands it to Castiel and drives away.

"Well, that was nice of you," Castiel remarks, when it becomes clear Dean isn't going to mention it. 

"What was nice of me?" Dean asks.

Castiel scoffs. "Oh, I don't know. Paying for the car behind us? Telling the girl to hide the money and keep it for herself?"

"What? Fifty bucks is nothing to me," Dean says. "And maybe the family behind us needed that extra money. Maybe they'll keep the train going and it'll get to somebody who does. Maybe Window Lady needed it. It's probably better off with them than it is with me."

"You're so thoughtful," Castiel says, and he really means it. He's never heard anyone else do that. He'll have to start paying it forward when he gets drive-through food, too.

"Nah, I'm just a former broke kid looking out for other broke kids," Dean says. "Not like I need the money. You basically do the same thing, anyway. Changing the subject now because I'm feeling awkward, how's your colada?"

"Wait, hold on." Castiel takes a sip. "It's great. Ten out of ten, would steal your colada again."

"You can only steal my colada on your birthday," Dean says. "Special birthday privilege, you know?"

"Then I'll have you order two coladas next time," Castiel says. "No stealing required."

"Dang it, my evil plan has been foiled," Dean says with exaggerated disappointment.

"I'm so sorry," Castiel says teasingly.

"You should be, Cas. You should be."