I hold Kai's unwavering stare. We face off quietly this way, him daring me to respond.

"That is a very serious assertion, Commander," Nuna says in her calm, even voice. "What prompts this?"

Kai crosses his arms over his chest becoming a closed vault.

"Step off, Kamalani," Knuckles says. "You know in a battle of insufferable twats, I'd pick her over you any day. You don't speak for all of us."

Kai frowns at Knuckles. "Then go."

Nuna waves her hands in the air. "There's no need to draw lines in the sand, Commander. I am interested in hearing about your needs. If there is talk of dissent, it must be that you are wanting for supplies?"

I sit down hard. If Nuna can be professional, so can I. Even if that merely means I'm keeping my mouth shut.

"I'm willing to discuss this plan and future initiatives, but she can't be involved." He nods at me. "I don't want Janika Lorn near anything our ship does."

I get it. I left them. Especially when reminiscing about the greatest hits with Kai, I understand why he would rather declare war against the hand that feeds rather than work with me again.

Nuna faces me on her right. She must be thinking the same behind the wall I see in her eyes. "We understand. However, that may be challenging as she is the weapon master."

"We have our own Gunner."

The anticipation of his next revelation hangs in the air, but nothing materializes.

I gesture around the room. "Okay. Are you going to share who this new Gunner will be?"

"It's Moyra," Coodi says.

Kai nods. "Major White managed our arms for years. She'll continue to lead Vesta initiatives."

"But Moyra isn't here," I say.

Coodi flinches as if struck. "We're aware."

"Oh Christ, fine. If no one has the sacks to ask, then I will," Knuckles blurts. "What is the next step regarding the ARCs? Where is Nuna's infamous fifteen-step shuffle-about regarding their return or initiating a search for Major White?"

"We don't have one," I say flatly.

Coodi sinks farther into herself.

"Why the hell not?" Knuckles asks.

"I've told you. We hit a dead-end. There's nothing more."

Knuckles bristles. "Then what about Moyra?"

"This isn't the first time she's disappeared. She'll turn up eventually and probably try to kill us all before snapping out of whatever they've put her in. Which is why giving her control of your arsenal might be a really stupid fucking idea."

"You don't know she'll turn up, Lorn." Knuckles says.

I bite my tongue. "No. But it's probable."

"I know that look," Kai says. He leans forward and squints. When he's read whatever he thinks is in my gaze, he leans back and points at my face. "You know something."

Nuna twists in her seat to scrutinize me just as the rest of the room is trying to decipher a code that must be scrawled across my forehead. Her eyes widen in understanding and then narrow in suspicion. "What are you not saying, Janika?"

I survey the others at the table. Coodi, who is the least fragile person I've ever met, stares at me as if my next words could shatter her.

"Think about the first time she disappeared, Lorn. How did you feel then?" Knuckles' voice is soft as if speaking to a child.

I shove the PAHLM back at him. I won't go down this path again. "You know everything I know."

"If finding her would lead to finding the ARCs—" Kai says.

"I am not Commander here anymore, Kamalani. You are. If you want to go upturning rocks to see if any of the ARCs are hiding under them, be my guest." It takes all the control I have in my body to keep from boiling over and flipping the table on them. The heightened senses perceive their sweat, their frustration, and the hormones they excrete in anxiousness. I shut my scales down and force the spiny skin to remain tucked against my back.

"I am commander here," Kai stands, his knuckles on the table. "And I have every right to arrest a deserter."

John clamors to his full height until his gelatinous body presses against the bulkhead. His blades whir menacingly in Kai's direction.

Nuna places her hand on my arm, a motion that Kai seems to be honing his sights on. "Let's not be hasty to throw our anger at one another. This is a difficult situation—we must be civil."

Kai and I face off. It's as if I see the reflection of my anger in his eyes. If I could snarl, I would. I know how I would handle this situation if we were on some deserted planet's rest stop cantina.

Knuckles faces me, pushing the PAHLM back in front of me. "Are you about to punch him?"

"Wouldn't dream of it," I say through a tightly clenched jaw.

He slumps and whispers so quietly only I could pick it up, "The knob deserves it."

I don't think Knuckles knows I can hear him. That little side note was his personal experience of this journey, which makes me pause.

We're all in hell.

Not a single one of us is happy about this arrangement or how our paths have brought us together. Feeling less alone, I place my palms down on the table, arch my back, take a calming breath in and release some of the rage on the exhale. I lock gaze with him again. "I'm sorry I spoke out of line, Commander Kamalani."

The attention of the Vesta crew swivels to me like I grew a second head. I know, this apologizing thing is new.

Flummoxed, Kai returns to his seat. "Did you just apologize?"

"I did."

"And you mean it?"

"I do. Moyra's disappearance, the impending arrival date of the ARCs to Lorit Neb, Dean's S-oh-S, and now the threats to our trade—we're rattled. I'd prefer to find a way to keep our two ships as a collective rather than bringing up the M-word again, as, if you remember, it didn't go so well for my crew the last time. If you need me to build back your trust, I'm willing to make the effort."

Nuna finds my thigh under the table and squeezes it.

Kai returns to his seat. "This must be the end of the world."

"Commander," Nuna says, her piercing gaze directed at Kai. "There are many hurdles in our path to peace and prosperity. While I agree that finding Major White is a high priority, we must also reinforce our defenses to be business as usual to our clients. With our combined efforts, we can do both."

"Protecting our people is the biggest priority." Kai twists in his seat to face Coodi. "We'll find her, Orra. I promise."

It warms me to see someone watching out for Coodi. For the first time, I see how Kai has grown. The boyish carelessness I found disarming has hardened, his face is more angular and his gaze wearier. Lines stretch out from his eyes when he speaks. In Earth years, he should be in his prime. Being in space would rest at that age for a long time to come as our weathered bodies are well-preserved in space with artificial gravity, surplus nutrients, and lack of UV harm. But I forget how trauma ages us more than any sun ever could. We experienced a lifetime of challenges before stepping aboard the ARCs.

We resume discussion for a little longer. Before anyone can hold me back to try and extend our reunion, I rush to the front to return to our dropship. Huxley meets us there, hand in hand with one of his half-brothers, yawning wide. I scoop him up. With his arm around my neck, he faces Kai.

"It was good to meet you, Huxley," Kai says. He places his hand on my son's back.

Their matching smiles stir old regrets I thought were dead.

I need to get off this fucking ship.

"Were you serious about rebuilding trust?" Kai rubs small circles on Huxley's back.

"Were you serious about arresting me?"

"I'm still thinking about it."

I snort. "Well, in that case, good luck with everything."

"Come back," Kai says to me. "To visit. It would be good for him to know his family."

I shift Hux's weight higher on my hip but don't respond.

"I won't arrest you, I swear."

"Can I get that in writing?"

Kai's hand drops from Hux's back to my shoulder. "It's good to see you. Even though I hardly recognized you at first."

To my surprise, Hux flops forward, resting his head on Kai's shoulder. What should have been an awkward moment is as smooth and natural as two people who have parented forever. I shift Hux's body to pass him from my hip to Kai's. Gently, as if holding a bubble, Kai wraps his arms around my son. He sways back and forth humming as Hux falls deeper into sleep on his shoulder.

Watching them makes my gut flip. I yearn to pull him back, but instead, I identify all the parts of their faces that match. Nose, cheeks, the brush of long, shaggy hair over long lashes. It makes my heart hurt. This wasn't who I imagined would be there for him. This isn't the man I had pictured as his father. I clamp down on my scales as hard as they will go before I feel whatever it is my heart is doing.

I turn away, and with arms free, I can properly say farewell. Knuckles drops the PAHLM I had kicked under the table into my hand. We embrace, the PAHLM sandwiched between us.

"It means something different now," he says as he backs away. "It defines our freedom rather than restricts it."

"I wish I believed that."

He shrugs. "Keep it near. Just in case. If you're curious, I've added quite a few upgrades. This is my life's work in your hand."

"The guy who invented the toilet probably said something similar."

Knuckles rolls his eyes and squeezes my hand one more time before releasing me, the PAHLM in my grasp. It's lighter than I remember.

Love and Umpire rush up to embrace me together. Saying a second goodbye to my VIPERs hurts more than I anticipated. I release them and face Coodi.

I hold her fiercely, my arms wrapped around her neck. She sniffles into my hair despite her tight, stiff embrace. It feels wrong, so gut-wrenchingly terrible to leave her like this. I hold her for a second longer, and as I push away, I whisper, "She's alive."

I don't wait for Coodi's response. I spin around, and with Hux already in Nuna's arms and John jittering at Knuckles one last time as Knuckles swats him away, we're ready to go. I close my eyes and allow myself the moment of sadness before swallowing it with a chaser of relief.

The hangar doors burst open and an operator in old URE grays barrels in. "Commander! Wait!"

I spin around, expecting the operator to run up to me, but he passes a tablet to Kai. I berate myself for answering to that title. Feeling stupid, I return to the ramp.

"You're going to want to see this," Kai says. He steps up the gangway to meet me and Nuna and flashes us his tablet.

On the screen is a port in chaos. The official Tadj flee, their official harbor signage and documentation scattering about as passengers and crew reach their ships as fast as their legs, tentacles, or mobility craft can take them. In the darkness of the fire, I can make out a figure through the smoke and flames.

Judging by the shape and size, it's a species I haven't met yet. In all my travels, I figured I'd connected with most of this star system's beings who were advanced enough to endure interstellar travel. It would explain why the threat was not one we'd placed on our radar before — the pirates must be from another system.

Light from the harbor fires reflects off their gray armor. Bi-pedal and four-armed, they seem humanoid. Their heads are surrounded by thick spikes that cascade down their shoulders and backs. They glide like ghosts.

The leader emerges, the largest of them. A menacing growl clicks from the slick, featureless face as smoke parts for the massive body. Three dark slits-for-eyes stare directly through the tablet as if the being is watching me.

The feed dies.

"That was the transmission from our latest asset drop. Our operators returned empty-handed and our client is not responding to our communications," Kai's man says.

We rewind and pause at the menacing image.

"We may have to adjust our plans," Nuna says softly, Hux's head tucked into her neck. Her wide eyes share the apology she doesn't want to say out loud. "And we must confer with Captain Moon on the next steps."

I'd never admit it, but the more I stare at the scene, the band of maybe fifteen or twenty pirates approaching like their mission included bloodshed, maybe Moon was right. We should have turned these fuckers to toast before they get the chance to reciprocate. "Fuck."

Kai and his operator put their heads together, our departure the furthest thing on his mind. Coodi follows. She glances over her shoulder at me once, hatred flaring in her eyes.

"We will discuss this further. For now, we must return to inform Captain Moon and Teeno. Be sure to send the evidence to us as soon as you can," Nuna says to Umpire and Love.

They nod. "Aye-aye, First Mate."

We board. The hatch closes on the few friends I have left aboard the Vesta, and I finally breathe easier once we're separated by the thick alloy hull. I'm even more relaxed as soon as we enter the field of stars. I recline in my seat, not realizing how tightly I was clenching my core the entire trip. Despite feeling more comfortable, I can't shake the tremors from deep inside that I force down. My hands shake.

"That went well," Nuna says from the co-pilot's seat.

I snort out a laugh. "We have glaringly different definitions of things that go well."

"You survived. And through your own brilliant words, quelled a potential mutiny."

"Kai's hot air. He was never going to do it."

"I guess we will never know," Nuna says. She peers over her shoulder to check on Huxley strapped to the drop seat in the back. "It was good to see him with his siblings. That is a rare commodity in space."

I drum my fingers on the navigation gear as I make a slight course correction. "It was pretty rare on Earth until the HHP got good at making twins."

"Strange," she says wistfully. "That they could make such miracles happen."

"That's not how it was in the Before Days... when you were abducted?"

"No, we had many instances of multiples in one pregnancy, but the chance of it happening was much less frequent."

"I guess we'll never know their secret sauce," I say, crossing my arms, leaning my head back, and closing my eyes once autopilot kicks in.

After a few blips, I perceive her soft, deep breath as she snoozes in her seat. Huxley's sleeping noises are loud as his head tilts back and his mouth opens wide. I watch the stars since the image that appears when I close them is the hateful glare of Orra Coodi. Her ire stirs my core, adding guilt to the turmoil already there. I try in vain to sleep along with my peaceful partner and child, but the rumble keeps my eyes wide.

I can't take this anymore. My eye twitches as I watch the stars. I can't go like this anymore. I need release.